She thought about the pathetic woman sitting hunched by the fire, her face heavily powdered over yellowing bruises, swigging gin to help her carry on with her mess of a life.
No, Sadie would never, ever be like her mother.
Chapter Six
A month later, on a damp day in November, the results of the preliminary training exams were announced.
The students made a gloomy group at breakfast that morning. Anna looked down the length of the table at the bleary-eyed faces. Everyone looked as if they’d had the same sleepless night she’d had. They stared down at their empty plates, too tense to eat. Only Eleanor seemed unconcerned, buttering her toast with the complacent attitude of someone who had spent the past fortnight swotting.
Miss Noonan didn’t help matters. She lingered even longer than usual over morning prayers, then sent them off to their rooms for their daily chores. Usually they managed these quite cheerfully, but this morning they bickered and snapped at each other as they made their beds and swept their rooms. Even Anna found herself turning on poor Grace Duffield when she accidentally emptied the contents of the dustpan onto the landing.
As Anna polished the banister rail she saw the Home Sister pinning up a piece of paper on the noticeboard by the front door.
‘I wish I could see the names from here,’ she whispered to Eleanor beside her.
‘You’ve got nothing to worry about,’ her friend said soothingly. ‘I’m certain you’ve passed.’
‘I’m not.’ At first, Anna had felt she might have done enough to scrape through the examination. Then, as the days went by, her confidence faded and she became just as convinced she had failed dismally. Since then she had flipped from one extreme to the other. One minute she thought she had done well, the next she could see herself packing up her belongings.
‘You’ve worked hard,’ Eleanor said. ‘You deserve to get through.’ She smiled. ‘Just think, this time next month we’ll be on the wards!’
‘Don’t.’ Anna felt queasy at the thought. She wasn’t sure which prospect daunted her more, being sent home in disgrace or having to nurse real patients.
When they had finished their chores, Miss Noonan insisted on holding one of her bedroom inspections.
‘She’s doing it on purpose, I swear,’ Miriam Trott muttered as they headed to their rooms. ‘It’s just cruel.’
Anna’s knees nearly gave way beneath her as the Home Sister prowled around her room, running a finger along the tops of doors and cupboards and frowning at the turndown on her top sheet.
Then, finally, Miss Noonan dismissed them.
‘You may go and check the noticeboard. Quietly, if you please!’ she instructed, but her words were drowned out by the sound of ten pairs of feet thundering down the stairs.
Anna fought her way past jostling elbows to get a glimpse of the list. At first she couldn’t see her name, but the next thing she knew, Eleanor was hugging her fiercely and saying,
‘We passed! We both passed!’
‘Did we?’ Anna stared at the list. She couldn’t allow herself to believe it until she saw her name written down. And there it was, right in the middle – not a spectacular result, but good enough to get her to the next two years of training.
Around her, the other girls were laughing with relief too.
‘Look who’s top of the class,’ Grace Duffield was saying. ‘You’re a dark horse, Sedgewick!’
Anna looked sideways at Sadie Sedgewick, who said nothing. She was staring at her name with a dazed expression on her face.
Miriam peered at the noticeboard, counting the names. ‘One … two … three … Someone’s missing.’
‘Me,’ Dulcie Moore said in a small voice.
‘Oh, no! Poor you!’ The other girls immediately gathered round her, offering sympathy. ‘That’s such bad luck.’
‘Perhaps they’ll let you stay on anyway?’ Grace said hopefully.
Eleanor turned on her. ‘Don’t be silly, Duffield. Why on earth would they do that?’
‘I don’t know, do I?’ Grace looked helpless. ‘If she didn’t fail too badly—’
‘Failed means failed,’ Eleanor said, in such a sharp way that Anna was surprised.
Before she could say anything, Miss Noonan appeared.
‘Well done, girls. Please return to your rooms and pack up your belongings. You will be moving over to Lennox House before tea this evening. Moore, you must go and see Matron straight away to discuss what is to be done.’
‘Yes, Sister.’ Dulcie stood there meekly until the Home Sister had gone. Only when the office door had closed did she allow her shoulders to slump.
‘Oh, Lord,’ she groaned. ‘This is it, girls.’
‘Perhaps you should throw yourself on Matron’s mercy?’ Sadie said. ‘I’m sure she’ll be decent about it.’
The other girls exchanged wary looks. Anna had only met Matron a couple of times, but she didn’t strike her as the type to be merciful or decent.
‘Oh, well, I suppose I’d best get it over with.’ Dulcie managed a weak smile. ‘Wish me luck.’
‘Here.’ Sadie stepped forward and put Dulcie’s cap straight on her curly head. ‘That’s better. I don’t suppose you’ve got any other cuffs, have you? Those are a bit grubby.’
‘Here, have mine.’ Anna unfastened her cuffs and gave them to Dulcie. ‘I’ll put a fresh pair on later.’
‘Thank you.’ Dulcie fastened on the cuffs and faced them all. ‘Well, just in case Matron tells me never to darken her door again, it’s been nice knowing you all.’
As they watched her walk away, Miriam said, ‘I can’t say I’m surprised. If she’d spent more time with her books and less dreaming about men, she might have passed the examination.’
Sadie turned on her. ‘You’re a fine one to talk, Trott! We’ve all seen you, reading those romance novels when you’re supposed to be studying.’
Miriam blushed deeply. ‘At least I passed!’
‘Stop arguing, you two,’ Anna said. ‘We should be celebrating, not falling out with each other.’
‘She’s right,’ Eleanor said. ‘This is a big day for us, and we should do something special.’
‘What shall we do?’ Anna asked.
‘Have tea and cakes,’ Grace said promptly.
‘That’s what you always say!’ Eleanor said.
Grace shrugged. ‘I like tea and cakes.’
‘We could go to my father’s bakery?’ Anna ventured. ‘I was going this afternoon anyway, to tell them my examination results …’
‘What a good idea.’ Eleanor nodded her approval. ‘It’s about time we visited this bakery you’re always talking about.’
‘Are you sure your father wouldn’t mind?’ Grace asked.
‘Oh, no, Papa loves company. He’s always asking when he’s going to meet my new friends.’
‘Then it’s settled,’ Eleanor said. ‘We’re all going to visit Beck’s Bakery!’
‘Count me out.’ Sadie spoke up. ‘I want to wait for Moore, see what Matron has said to her.’
‘We all know what Matron will say,’ Eleanor dismissed.
‘Then I want to make sure Moore’s all right,’ Sadie replied. ‘She’s bound to be feeling wretched, and I don’t think it’s very nice to go out celebrating and leave her on her own. We are supposed to be a set after all.’ She looked around at them reproachfully as she said it.
Anna blushed and looked at the others. ‘Perhaps we should all stay and help cheer her up?’
‘Nonsense,’ Eleanor cut across her. ‘We’ve made plans now, and we should stick to them.’ She looked around the group. ‘We deserve a day out after all our hard work. And besides, we won’t be getting as much time off once we’re all working on different wards.’ She turned to Sadie. ‘You don’t have to come.’
Sadie’s chin lifted. ‘I’ve already told you, I’m not.’
‘Me neither,’ Grace said. ‘I think I’ll stay and keep Moore company too. Besides, I get too nervous going ou
t in the city.’
Anna glanced at Eleanor. Her teeth were clenched together, her square jaw working, a sure sign that she was vexed.
‘You don’t know what you’re missing,’ she said. Then, to Anna’s relief, she smiled. ‘We’ll just have to eat their share of the cake, won’t we, girls?’
It was a damp day and a dull canopy of dirty grey cloud hung over Bethnal Green. The streets were alive with the cries of the costermongers – hawkers pushing barrows laden with boots, rolls of cloth, pots and pans and old furniture. Women carrying bundles of matchboxes passed by, huddled under thick shawls, their breath curling in the cold air. The smell of onion bread, garlic sausage and pickled fish drifted from the Jewish grocers, mingling with the acrid stench of factory smoke.
It was her London but Anna barely noticed it as she trudged along, her gloved hands thrust deep into her coat pockets.
Eleanor fell into step beside her. ‘Cheer up,’ she said. ‘You’re not still thinking about what Sedgewick said, are you?’
‘She’s got a point, hasn’t she?’ Anna said. ‘It doesn’t seem right for us to be out having fun when Moore’s so upset. We are supposed to be a set, after all.’
Eleanor’s lips tightened. ‘Moore should have thought about that, shouldn’t she? It’s hardly our fault she’s failed. Why should we suffer because she decided to go gadding about instead of working like the rest of us?’
‘I suppose you’re right,’ Anna sighed.
‘I know I am.’ Eleanor linked an arm through hers. ‘Now do cheer up,’ she ordered. ‘We’re having a good day, and you’re not to spoil it!’
Columbia Road market was bustling with stalls and people, but the other girls barely seemed to notice. Miriam complained constantly about how dirty everything was, and how much her feet hurt, while Eleanor couldn’t stop going on about Sadie coming top in the examination.
‘I have no idea why I only came second,’ she said for the fourth time. ‘I know I answered every question correctly, because I checked them in the textbook afterwards. And the examiner said mine was the tidiest many-tailed bandage she’d ever seen. And to come second to Sedgewick, of all people,’ she went on. ‘I might not have felt so bad if it had been any of you girls, but her …’ She shook her head. ‘Have you heard the way she speaks? So uneducated …’
‘We’re here now,’ Anna cut her off. ‘Just around this corner—’
She turned into Chambord Street and stopped in her tracks at the sight of what lay ahead of her.
Chapter Seven
‘What is it?’ Eleanor asked. ‘What’s happened?’
But Anna did not answer. She was already running down the street to where Edward was standing on the pavement outside the shop, watching Tom pick shards of glass from the broken window.
He turned at the sound of running footsteps. ‘Anna! What are you doing here?’
She ignored the question, fighting for breath. ‘What happened?’
‘Someone put a brick through the window just now.’
‘Did you see who did it?’
‘No. They were gone by the time I came out.’ He looked up and down the street, his expression grim.
‘Was anyone hurt?’
‘Your father got some glass in his hand, but he’s all right. He’s inside, with your mother.’ Edward nodded towards the shop.
Anna asked the other girls to wait outside, then went to find her father. He was in the kitchen, sitting on a chair while her mother bandaged his hand.
‘Stop fussing,’ he was saying. ‘I told you, it’s nothing more than a scratch.’ He saw Anna come in and his face brightened. ‘Liebling! What a surprise. What are you doing here?’
‘I thought I’d come to visit. I wanted to tell you I’d passed my preliminary training. I brought some of the other girls …’ Her voice trailed off as she looked at his wounded hand.
‘But that is wonderful!’ Friedrich Beck stood up, shrugging off his wife’s ministrations. ‘Did you hear that, my dear? Our daughter has passed her exams. Such a clever girl.’ He beamed at Anna, his brown eyes twinkling. ‘But where are your friends?’
‘I left them outside. I could tell them to go?’
‘Nonsense, I will not hear of it! They are our guests, you must bring them inside.’ He was already heading through the door leading to the shop.
Anna turned to her mother, who shrugged helplessly.
‘But, Papa, your hand,’ Anna called after him.
‘It is nothing. My fault for being careless, that is all.’ Friedrich flung open the shop door. The girls stood huddled outside where Anna had left them, looking uncertain.
‘Come in, my dears, please,’ Friedrich Beck greeted them. ‘I do not know what my daughter is thinking, leaving you outside on such a cold day.’
They hung back, still uncertain.
‘Are you sure, Mr Beck?’ Miriam spoke up. ‘We could come back another day, if it isn’t convenient.’ She glanced towards the shattered remains of the shop window.
‘I am afraid we are not looking our best,’ Friedrich said ruefully, ‘but guests are always welcome here, particularly if they are friends of my daughter. Please,’ he ushered them inside, ‘go upstairs to the parlour, you will be more comfortable there. Anna will show you the way. Liebling, take your friends’ coats, bitte. We will have tea and cake, yes? I have some apple cake, fresh from the oven.’
Anna took the girls up to the cosy parlour, where the fire was roaring. It was a comfortable room, but she could sense her friends’ unease as she took their coats and got them settled.
‘Perhaps we should go?’ Eleanor looked very uncomfortable.
‘No, please stay. Papa will be upset if you leave now.’
‘So long as we’re not in the way?’ Miriam said, settling herself on the sofa. ‘I must say, that cake does smell delicious.’
‘I’ll bring it straight in to you.’ Anna hurried back downstairs to the kitchen.
She could tell right away her mother and father had been having words. They shut up as soon as Anna walked in, her mother turning away to watch the kettle boil. She looked as if she had been crying.
‘What’s going on, Papa?’ Anna asked. ‘Edward said someone threw a brick.’
‘It was just children messing about,’ her father dismissed the question. ‘Nothing to worry about.’
‘Have you called the police?’
She saw the look that passed between her parents. ‘Your father doesn’t think it’s worth troubling them,’ Dorothy replied, tight-lipped.
‘It was a prank, that is all. Nothing serious.’
‘But you were hurt.’
‘It was my own silly fault.’
‘What if that brick had hit you? Or me? Would you think it was serious then?’
Anna stared from one to the other of her parents. She had never heard her mother speak to her father like that. They would often bicker in a joking way, but she had never seen them argue openly.
‘Calm down,’ Friedrich said. ‘Anna’s friends will hear you.’
‘I don’t care!’ Dorothy dismissed. ‘What if whoever threw that brick comes back?’ she demanded.
‘They won’t.’
‘How can you say that? You don’t know. After everything that’s been going on around here lately—’ She stopped talking suddenly, her mouth closing like a trap.
‘What?’ Anna said. ‘What’s been going on, Papa?’
‘It’s nothing,’ he replied. ‘Just a few fools causing trouble, that is all. But I have been here for more than twenty years, everyone knows me. They like me. No one would allow any harm to come to us.’
‘So where were they when someone smashed our shop window?’ Dorothy asked quietly.
A long silence followed. Then Friedrich stirred himself and said, ‘I do not want to think of this today. Anna has brought her friends to see us, we should be celebrating with them, not walking around with long faces.’ He beamed at Anna. ‘Come, Liebling. Help me with the cake.’
In spite of her father’s efforts to be cheerful, tea was a sombre affair. Anna picked at her sliver of cake, too upset to eat. The other girls made polite conversation, but Anna could see the sidelong looks that passed between them. Eleanor was utterly silent, her face pale.
It was a relief when it was time to leave. While Eleanor and Miriam put on their coats and said their polite goodbyes, Anna sneaked back down to the kitchen to see Edward.
She nearly cried with relief to see him there, scrubbing down tins at the sink. At least something had stayed the same, even though the rest of the world seemed to be tilting crazily on its axis.
‘Oh, Edward!’ She rushed to him, throwing herself against the solid, comforting wall of his chest. His arms came up to embrace her.
‘My hands are wet,’ he murmured into her hair.
‘I don’t care. I just want you to hold me.’ Anna clung to him. ‘Hold me and tell me everything will be all right.’
‘I hope so, my love,’ was all he could say.
Anna pulled away from him. ‘What’s happening?’ she said. ‘Do you know why someone broke that window? My father says it was just kids messing about, but it wasn’t, was it?’
Edward turned away from her, plunging his arms back into the sink. ‘No,’ he said.
‘Then who was it?’
‘I don’t know. But there’s been a lot of trouble around here lately with German shops and businesses being vandalised. You know that German barber’s on Roman Road? They had paint thrown at their windows last week. And two days ago Mr Shulman the tailor was burgled. They ripped up all his stock.’
‘No!’ Hans Shulman often came to play cards with her father. Anna could hardly imagine why anyone would want to hurt such a pleasant old man.
‘But I don’t understand,’ she said. ‘How can someone throw a brick in broad daylight and no one see them?’
‘I don’t know. I asked the neighbours, but no one noticed anything. Or so they said,’ he added in a low voice.
Anna stared at him. ‘Why would they lie to you?’
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