by Mari Mancusi
Becca bit her lower lip, obviously contemplating. I held my breath, waiting to see what she’d decide. Finally she let out a long sigh and took my hand. “Fine,” she said in a clipped voice. “But I need to get back before nine. I have a conference call with my parents and the coach about my future.”
“No problem,” I agreed, ecstatic she’d actually said yes. “Now come on!”
After hitting the lockers to stash Becca’s board and change clothes, I led her down to the parking lot and toward the bus stop. I was so excited it was all I could do not to bounce up and down with joy. Me and Becca, one on one, just like the old days. And where we were going, Olivia would never be able to bust her.
“Where on earth are you taking me?” Becca asked, sounding curious despite herself as the bus chugged up the hill toward our stop, black smoke puffing from its rear exhaust. I remembered the first time I got on the bus; I was just as weirded out. But I couldn’t spoil the surprise.
“Trust me,” I said, flashing her a grin.
To her credit, she did, though she still looked a little doubtful as we boarded the bus and took our seats. The vehicle pulled around, out of the resort and down the hill, toward Littleton.
“Aren’t we going to get in trouble for leaving campus?” she asked, peering out the grimy window.
“Not if we don’t get caught.”
About ten minutes later the bus pulled up to the same intersection where Logan and I had exited the time before. I remembered how nervous I was then; now I was just as excited. Becca followed me doubtfully off the bus, her gaze flicking from side to side. But I just grabbed her hand and dragged her on until we reached Bill’s.
“A bar?” she asked, looking up at the buzzing neon letters with questions in her eyes.
“Coffee house,” I corrected, pushing open the door. I turned, wanting to see her reaction as she stepped inside.
Sure enough, her jaw dropped as she scanned the room, taking in all the old-fashioned video games. It was early, and the place was pretty much deserted, save for Bill the pirate barista behind the bar.
“Whoa!” Becca cried. “What is this place?” She skipped over to the Pac-Man machine, wrapping her hand around the joystick. “These are like totally ancient!” she exclaimed, abandoning the game for the Centipede machine next to it. “And the graphics are horrible!” She turned to me, her face shining. “And completely awesome!”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out the handful of quarters I’d been stashing in my locker all week, depositing them into her palm. “Go have fun,” I instructed firmly. “And don’t even think about snowboarding for the next hour.”
Becca didn’t argue, slipping a quarter into the Gauntlet machine, then gesturing for me to join her. Before long, my elf and her sorceress were downing skeletons by the dozen in a never-ending dungeon quest for treasure and glory.
“Yeah, baby!” Becca cheered as we heroically cleared level thirteen. “Epic win!” She reached over and high-fived me, her eyes dancing with excitement.
As the late afternoon dipped into evening, we battled killer bees, raging robots, dreadful dragons, until our hands grew tired from mashing buttons and gripping joysticks. Exhausted, I stepped back from the Dragon’s Lair machine, only to slam into someone behind me. I whirled around, surprised to see Roland, his arms full of cables.
“Lexi!” he cried as he recognized me. “You’re here! Are you singing with us tonight?” He dropped the cables and gave me a big bear hug. I hugged him back, excited to see him, too. Even though we didn’t know each other well, I’d been listening to his guitar playing in my headphones all week long, making me feel close to him in a weird way.
“Nah. I just brought my friend Becca down for some stress relief,” I told him. “I didn’t know you guys would be here.”
“Yeah, it’s open mic night tonight,” Roland informed me after glancing at his watch. “Starts in about an hour. Lulu and Scarlet are going to totally freak if they see you. You’d better hide unless you plan to perform with us. You know what they think about taking no for an answer.”
“Perform?” Becca asked curiously, coming up behind me.
“Um, long story,” I muttered, feeling my face heat.
“What, you didn’t know your friend here is the most amazing singer in all of Vermont and maybe New England, too?” Roland asked, smiling at her. “We’ve made her an honorary member of Manic Pixie Dream Girl.”
Becca stared at him, then at me. “I knew you liked to sing in the shower—but in a band?” Then her eyes grew wide. “Wait, Manic Pixie Dream Girl? Isn’t that the band Coach Basil was playing in her room the other day? The one everyone was freaking out about and demanding a copy?”
Now I was blushing furiously. “I don’t know. Maybe?”
Traitor Coach Basil! That was supposed to be on the down-low!
Related: Everyone was freaking out? Everyone wanted a copy?
Becca grabbed my hands, jumping up and down. “Dude! You’re like a total rock star!”
“I jammed with them once!” I protested, yanking my hands away. “Trust me, I’m so not a rock star!”
“You could be if you joined us tonight . . . ,” Roland said with a waggle of his eyebrows.
I shook my head, reality settling back in. “I can’t. I have to get Becca back for her conference call at nine.”
My friend groaned. “Forget the conference call! They can reschedule. Or have it without me. That’s how they make all their decisions about my life anyway.” She rolled her eyes. “Seriously, Lex. When are you going to ever have a chance like this again? You have to go for it!”
I sighed. She wasn’t going to give up, was she? “Okay, fine.” I relented at last, feeling secretly pleased at the idea. “I guess I could sing. I have been practicing the songs, actually. I mean, just for fun.”
“This is awesome!” Roland cried. “The girls are going to totally freak out.” He beamed at me. “I’m going to go tell them the good news.”
My stomach flip-flopped as I watched him go. I wasn’t so sure about this being a good idea. But the shiny excitement on Becca’s face made me at least want to try.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
And that was how, about an hour later, I found myself being pushed onstage by Scarlet and Lulu—a microphone placed in my hand. My whole body shook as I looked out over the coffee house and all the people sitting in folding chairs, waiting for us to start. It was probably only a dozen or so, but it might as well have been millions. And the fear that rose to my throat felt like it was trying to choke me.
It was one thing to sing to myself while riding down a mountainside on my board. Another to sing by a fire, accompanied by friends. But it was something else entirely to get onstage in front of an entire audience of strangers and dare to do something I wasn’t quite sure I even knew how to do properly.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” I hissed at Scarlet as she took her place beside me. “What if I mess it up?”
“Then you mess it up,” she shot back, not missing a beat. “It’s not the end of the world.”
“I know, but . . .” I looked out over the crowd of people, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. “I don’t want to let you guys down.”
“Are you kidding? If you weren’t here, we’d have to have Roland sing!” Lulu laughed. “Now that would be a letdown.”
“Look. It’s open mic night at some silly café. Not an American Idol audition,” Scarlet added. “Seriously, you just need to let it go and have fun. That’s it. No one’s expecting anything more from you.”
It was funny—it was the same advice Logan had given me the weekend before when we’d been snowboarding at Snow Peak. Let it go. Have fun. Was I really so uptight that I couldn’t do anything in life without turning it into a competitive event? I had nothing to prove to these people. I wasn’t looking for a career in music. I had come here tonight to have a good time. To relieve my stress—not bring about more.
It was then I saw Becca, sitt
ing in the front row, clapping her hands together and whistling loudly. Her eyes were bright and excited. For the first time in a while, I felt like she was on my side.
Suddenly the words from above the archway at school came raging back to me.
What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?
I smiled to myself. I knew very well that I could fail. But I wasn’t about to let that stop me this time.
I brought the microphone to my lips. “Hello, Littleton!” I cried. “I’m Alexis Miller. And this is Manic Pixie Dream Girl!”
• • •
“Oh my gosh, Lexi, you were so amazing!” Becca squealed for the thousandth time as we boarded the bus on the way back to Mountain Academy. I laughed as my friend danced down the aisle, belting out the chorus to one of the songs. She got a few dirty looks from the other passengers, but she just laughed them off.
“Ladies and gentlemen!” she announced to the entire bus. “Live and in person, this night only! Alexis Miller! Rock star extraordinaire!”
I shoved her playfully into her seat “You do this back at school and I’ll kill you!” I swore as we took our seats. Though I had to admit, it felt pretty good. I had totally rocked the open mic, and I knew it. All that practice had paid off. As the bus pulled away, I could still hear the audience’s applause echoing in my ears. I was sure to remember this night for years to come. And I was glad Becca had been there to experience it with me. Just like old times.
“Everyone at school is going to be so jealous that I got to see you live,” Becca replied, pulling her phone from her bag and scanning through the pictures she took. “You know, this one would be a perfect profile pic.”
“No way.” I grabbed the phone from her and deleted the close-up of me onstage. “It’s bad enough that Coach Basil is playing the demo for people. If anyone found out we snuck off school grounds—never mind me singing in a band—we’d both get suspended.”
“Hey!” Becca grabbed back her phone. “You were the one who said you can’t perform well under pressure. I bet singing onstage tonight makes you ten times the snowboarder tomorrow.”
I grinned. “I hope you’re right. But still, let’s still keep this whole thing off social media, just to be safe?”
Becca nodded resolutely. “Thanks for taking me,” she said. “I really needed that.” She fell silent for a moment, staring out the window. “I guess I’ve just been feeling the pressure lately, you know? If I don’t practice, I won’t win. If I don’t win . . .” She trailed off.
“If you don’t win, you don’t win,” I replied with a shrug, surprising myself, even as the words spilled from my lips. “It’s not the end of the world.”
Becca turned and looked at me sharply. “Um, who are you and what did you do with my best friend?”
She was right, of course. Before my accident, winning was everything to me. Nothing mattered beyond the mountain. Snowboarding was my reason to get up in the morning. My reason to live. But now, to be perfectly honest, it seemed . . . less important . . . somehow. Not that I didn’t love it. But I was starting to love other things too. And that was okay. In fact, that was a good thing.
But that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about now.
“Best friend, huh?” I pointed out quietly. “To be honest, I didn’t even think I was your friend anymore.”
Becca’s face fell. She turned back to the window. But I wasn’t giving up so easily. This might be the last chance I had to get her completely alone. I wasn’t about to waste it.
“I’ve missed you, you know,” I told her. “It’s not the same without you.”
She was silent for a moment, and at first I was sure she wasn’t going to answer. But then she turned to me, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. “I’ve missed you, too,” she whispered. “And I know I’ve been a rotten friend lately. I’m really sorry. It’s just . . . well . . . complicated. And I . . .”
Unfortunately, at that moment the bus pulled up at our stop, and the doors creaked open. Worst timing ever. I reluctantly rose from my seat and headed down the aisle, Becca following slowly behind me. We said good-bye to the driver and stepped out into the night.
Once the bus had driven away, I turned back to Becca. “What were you saying?” I asked, not willing to let it drop.
Her face turned bright red. “Oh—nothing,” she stammered. “I’m just sorry, is all.”
Try as I might, I couldn’t get anything else out of her. Eventually I just gave up talking altogether. We trudged in silence back toward the school, all the fun of the evening evaporating the closer we got to the gates. It was as if we’d stepped into a dream world for the evening, and now it was time to wake up. I watched Becca from the corner of my eye, wondering what on earth was going on with her. She seemed to want to make up with me, but she wasn’t willing to even explain why we’d fallen out to begin with. And how did Olivia play into any of this? I still couldn’t figure that part out.
“Well, well, well, look who’s best friends again!”
Speak of the devil. I whirled around to find Olivia herself standing behind us, dressed in her ridiculous fur coat, arms crossed over her chest. I glanced at Becca, realizing her face had turned stark white, her eyes wide and terrified.
“We just met on the bus!” she blurted out to my surprise. “I wasn’t hanging out with her, I swear!”
I stared at Becca in disbelief. What? Was she really going to deny hanging out with me? What was wrong with her? Why was she so afraid of Olivia?
“Really.” Olivia pursed her lips, regarding the two of us with skeptical eyes. “And I suppose you just randomly met on the bus carrying the exact same souvenir mugs from the exact same place you didn’t hang out at together?”
Becca stole a guilty glance down at the Bill’s collectible coffee mug she held in her hands. The one she insisted we both buy—to remember my big night. She knew she was busted.
“Look, Olivia,” she tried. “It’s not what you think.”
But Olivia just rolled her eyes. “No, Becca,” she sneered. “It’s not what I think. It’s what Lexi thinks, right? That’s what’s important here,” she added, her tone ripe with meaning. As if she knew some hidden joke that I didn’t.
“What is your problem?” I demanded, whirling around to face Olivia. “Why can’t you just leave us alone?” Then I turned back to my friend, my eyes pleading. “Come on, Becca. You’re better than this. You don’t have to play her games.”
Becca stood for a moment. At last she shook her head. “I’ve—gotta go,” she stammered. “I’ve got that . . . conference call, you know.”
“But I thought you already missed . . . ,” I started to say, but realized I was speaking to no one. Becca had fled, leaving me alone with Olivia. My eyes narrowed as I took in her smug expression. She’s was having a field day at my expense.
“I don’t know what is going on,” I snapped. “But I’m going to find out.”
Olivia laughed, reaching into her pocket for a piece of gum. She popped it into her mouth. “Don’t look too hard, Golden Girl,” she purred. “You might not like what you find.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Argh, she just makes me so mad!” I growled, slamming my fork down at dinner the next day. I had taken the bus to meet Logan, and we’d caught a movie, then headed to Bill’s, where I’d spent the last hour hanging out with Scarlet and Lulu and Roland, singing with the band. I felt more confident after Coach Basil’s pep talk—not to mention last night’s performance, and though I knew I was still a total noob, the whole thing was so much fun that I no longer minded messing up from time to time. And none of my bandmates held it against me when I did.
Once band practice was over, Logan took me to this cute little diner a few blocks away that looked straight out of a 1950s sitcom. I ordered an extra-large chocolate milk shake and a grilled cheese sandwich with fries. And let me tell you, to me it tasted better than any prime filet at Jacques’s.
Logan gave me a sympathetic look. I
sighed.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Here I’ve been waiting all week to see you, and now I’m just complaining.”
He smiled at me. “It’s okay,” he said. “I’d be mad too.” He picked up his burger. “That girl sounds like nothing but trouble.”
“Seriously. I mean, you’d think after the whole race thing she’d be sitting pretty. But no. She’s still working overtime to make sure my life is ruined in every possible way. Girl needs a hobby, for real.”
Logan cocked his head in question. “Wait—what race thing?”
I looked up. I’d forgotten he didn’t know. But of course he didn’t. No one did.
Suddenly I had the overwhelming urge to tell him everything. Since I’d gotten back to Mountain Academy, the secret had been weighing heavier and heavier on my heart each day. I desperately wanted to tell someone. So why not Logan? He wasn’t involved. He had nothing to lose or gain and no one to tell. Besides, I was pretty sure he was the type of guy who would keep a girl’s secret—even under torture.
I thought back to Olivia’s smug smile outside the school the night before. Becca’s fearful eyes. I had once believed that by keeping the truth about my “accident” a secret it would save my best friend’s career. Had I somehow made things worse for her instead?
“You have to promise not to say anything,” I blurted out. “To anyone.”
He nodded, his expression grave. I could tell he was taking me seriously, and I appreciated that.
So I told him everything. The words coming hesitantly at first, then spilling over my lips like water from a burst dam. Logan listened, attentively, silently, with no readable expression on his face. Only the knuckles whitening in his clenched fists gave anything away.
“Geez, Lexi,” he murmured when I had finished. “I knew Mountain Academy was competitive. But that . . .” He shook his head. “She should be banned from the sport forever . . . or at least kicked out of school.”
“I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt me that badly,” I protested. “She was just trying to slow me down so she could get ahead.”
