CHAPTER 1
“Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Elizabeth Benson woke up forty-five minutes prior to her alarm. She could hear her mother screaming at her father for something that was most likely irrelevant to anyone else. Elizabeth kicked off her lime green sheet and turquoise hibiscus printed down comforter knocking it straight off the end of the bed. She swung her legs off the side slowly until her feet were planted firmly on the white carpet. With her eyes still closed she tugged on her hair with both hands to make sure she was awake. Then, she stumbled to the bedroom door and tiptoed to the bathroom, careful not to disturb the argument.
“Leighton,” she could hear her father plead from down the hall, “I’m sorry I didn’t take care of it last night but I promise I will get it done tonight.”
Elizabeth closed the bathroom door and sat down on the side of the porcelain tub. She rocked back and forth as her heart pounded, her body shaking in anger. Everything had to be done exactly the way her mom wanted it done, for no obvious reason except she wanted it done that way. Elizabeth felt her head swelling. The bathroom was shrinking all around her fragile body. All the oxygen was being sucked out of the room.
She leaned down, opened the bottom cabinet and pulled out her box of Tampons. It was the only thing in the entire house her mother did not go through. She cautiously reached her long, shaky
fingers in and slowly pulled out a wad of toilet paper. She dropped the box of Tampons on the floor. A few rolled out, but Elizabeth paid no attention to them. Her focus was on the toilet paper in her hand. She slowly unraveled it revealing a metal razor. Gently lifting her nightgown up past her thigh she ran her fingers along scars and cuts. Some were raised scars, already healed of the pain she had caused herself. Some were newer, still red or scabbed over.
Elizabeth held the razor over her leg carefully choosing a location. She touched an old scare with her pointer finger and tried to remember why she had tried to relieve herself of the pain that time. There was a split second where she thought about wrapping the razor back up but her brief calmness was interrupted by her mother screaming, “You bastard!” followed by cries from her two year old brother, Colby. Without hesitation, Elizabeth dug the razor in her leg over the old scar she touched a moment earlier. The pain was excruciating at first, but the endorphins kicked in quickly sending her body into a wave of serenity as the warm, blood flowed down her leg, onto the tile floor.
Elizabeth’s euphoria ended when her mother knocked on the bathroom door. She quickly jumped up, pulled her nightgown over her head, dropped it on the floor covering the small drops of blood and turned on the shower water.
“I’m in the shower!” That didn’t stop Leighton from opening the door.
“Beth, what are you doing up so early?”
“I have a group project. I have to get to school early.”
“Look at this mess?” her mother said disgusted. There are tampons all over the floor. Pick this up right after your shower.”
Elizabeth looked down at the blood from her leg swirling around the drain with the shower water. “Okay. I’ll do it when I get out.”
“Did you get your period, Beth? There is blood on the floor. It’s all over your nightgown. I taught you better hygiene than that! I want this bathroom spotless before you go to school.” Leighton Benson slammed the bathroom door behind her.
Elizabeth gripped her hand in a fist and punched the tiled shower wall. She hated when her mom called her Beth. She sank to the floor of the bathtub, curled up in a ball and started sobbing. Her life was spiraling out of control and all she wanted was to feel something, to feel needed; to feel loved.
The Anything Friend Page 1
