“Oh my God! Nathan, you are so hot!” he said while I bit his neck and licked his chest. I loved his warmth and wanted to give my whole to him. I didn’t want to resist and wanted to surrender entirely to him. I had a firm grip on his dick and started to stroke it while kissing his chest and making invisible circles on his navel with my tongue.
I could feel his dick getting harder and harder as I kept massaging it with my hands. I was getting excited and couldn’t wait to fuck him. After playing with his body for the next few minutes, I stood up and came closer to him.
We both looked at each other and played a game with our eyes before we kissed with intense passion. I made him face the wall as I went all the way to his ass and squeezed his cheeks.
I started to give him a sensuous rim, whipping his asshole with my tongue. The moment my tongue touched his hole, he started to shiver. After lubricating his asshole and making it ready for my long and erect dick, I locked him with my arms.
I used my left hand to lock us while pressing my dick inside his hole. He took my right hand in his mouth and started to suck and bite my middle finger when I gradually started to penetrate him with my massive dick.
I knew he was experiencing a little pain with the way he kept biting my fingers. But he didn’t want it to stop and I certainly had no intentions of halting. I touched the tip of his insides and then kept fucking him wildly.
We were locked in a perfect bodyguard position and after making enough space for my dick, I began to take it deeper with every push. I took my hand off from his mouth and started to massage his dick. He was experiencing pleasure from both ends.
As I kept penetrating him hard with every push, increasing my pace with each stroke, he kept moaning my name out loud. I pushed my dick inside of him harder and faster each time as I felt the warmth of his inside that was making my dick melt.
I touched the tip of his insides with my dick, which made him scream my name out loud. I kept giving him a hand job while going deeper every time. There was an amazing warmth that I was able to feel around my dick, making me feel alive.
We both closed our eyes and for that one moment, it felt like we had become part of a single entity. I knew that I had reached the tip of my pleasure and couldn’t hold it anymore. I bit his earlobe as I ejaculated inside of him and filled his hole with my cum.
He moaned my name out loud as I felt his hot spunk in my hand. We both reached our threshold at the same time and experienced the intensity of a thousand orgasms in one. I stayed there, placing my head on his shoulder, trying to catch my breath.
“I have no regrets,” I said as I kissed his cheek and stayed with him for the rest of the night.
4
I woke up to the rays of the morning sun and as I opened my eyes, I found myself clad in the arms of a man.
Shit! What did I do! As the memories and events of the last night came to my mind, I felt really confused. My body was still basking in the glory of hot sex, but the realization that I had fucked a guy began to dawn on me.
I looked at Jake’s perfect face and the way he was smiling in his sleep. There was a strong part of me that wanted to kiss him, but the million-dollar question was—was I gay?
The word sounded odd and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I remembered Jake telling me that sexuality was like a spectrum, but I had never been with another guy. I sat on the bed, torn amidst conflicting emotions.
I had never been so confused in my life ever before. This would change everything.
“Good morning, handsome,” Jake chirped as he opened his eyes and immediately kissed me.
I parted my lips and his tongue deepened the kiss. I met him stroke for stroke and enjoying it more by the second. In fact, the kiss stirred such strong emotions in me that I wanted to fuck him hard and make love to every part of him.
I reluctantly broke the kiss and I knew I had to do it. It all felt very hard but was one night of hot sex good enough to change my sexual orientation?
“Jake, I need to leave right away. I, ah, have an early shift at the office,” I said in order to hide my confusion.
I could read Jake’s eyes and I knew that he understood the tumultuous and turbulent emotions I was going through.
“Nathan, please get dressed. You can take my car if you want. I just want to let you know that I had a really great time and I would like to see you again.”
I knew why he had added that and to be very honest, when I left Jake’s home that day, I had no clue if I would ever see him again. I had plenty of things to think about and I knew it wouldn’t be easy.
Life had never been easy for me and if I added being homosexual to it, things were all set to go downhill for me. Also, how could I forget Nancy, Julie, and Sarah, three women with whom I’d had very casual flings with prior to last night? I could fool the world, but I couldn’t fool myself.
As I walked to my office, I knew that absolutely nothing was as thrilling as the sex I had with Jake. He gave me the real pleasure and if I stopped thinking, I would happily sleep with him all over again. I wanted to kiss him, taste him and lick and suck his dick… Merely the thought of being with him again gave me a boner.
For the first time in my life, I was thankful for the amount of work that was pending. This meant that it would keep my mind off Jake and I really needed that. However, even then, I found myself staring at other men and trying to gauge what I felt.
Every time I would stare at a guy’s butt or look at him hungrily, it would make me think of Jake and his sexy ass. I would remember the way I had filled his hole with my cum and I found myself waiting to sleep with him all over again.
“Damn, this sucks,” I said to myself and my colleague gave me a look as he thought I was bitching about the work.
I knew Jake would either call me or he would expect a call because that is what people were supposed to do unless it was a one night stand for both of us. I was debating what would be the best thing to do when I saw a message from Jake.
“I programmed your number in my phone when you fell asleep yesterday. Want to catch up today?”
While every part of me wanted to scream yes at the prospect of reliving the last night, I knew I couldn't do that, not yet.
Reluctantly, I replied, “Sorry dude, the boss is an asshole. Got work. Catch up soon.”
I knew this text might signal the end of a relationship which hadn't begun. I knew that Jake was no fool. He would understand that I was blowing him off and I felt sick for being such a jerk. However, it was all too much for me.
A week passed and I still couldn’t come to any conclusion. I thought that maybe being with a hot chick might settle my mind, so I lined up a date for myself, knowing that Susan from HR had somewhat of a crush on me.
When I reached her home to pick her, I got her intention clear as she wore an extremely revealing black dress with a plunging neckline. The whole office knew that Susan was lusty and that is exactly what I needed to discover who I was!
“Why do we need to go anywhere when all we need is a bed?” she hissed and I knew that all she needed was sex. I agreed because Susan wasn’t exactly the kind of person you would date for any length of time.
However, five minutes into her bedroom and I had never been so sure about who I was. Susan had everything—voluptuous breasts, body to die for, excessively high sex drive, beautiful butt and a husky voice which should have attracted me totally. But, none of it turned me on.
“Damn Nathan, you are so uninteresting in bed,” she said and I knew where I had to head.
“I am sorry Susan, but I need to be somewhere else. Really sorry, but I have to go,” I said as I ran, and I knew exactly where I would land.
It took an almost sex encounter to make me realize that I had always been gay. It was my moment of realization—I knew that Jake was one guy who could give me the real happiness that had always eluded me.
5
I had been to Jake’s house just once, but I knew the road very well. Every part of me wanted
to be with him and all across my journey, I prayed that Jake would forgive me for giving him the cold shoulder and would accept me once again.
I dreaded what would happen if Jake turned me down. I couldn’t even comprehend being without him. I knew it was foolish of me to run away from him, because after all this while, I had finally found that one person who made me myself.
I realized it wasn’t really the work I had been chasing all my life. I had used work as a medium to run away from myself because I hadn’t been able to accept who I had always been. Until now.
As I reached Jake’s home and knocked at his door, he opened the gate and looked smoking hot as before.
“Hey, Nathan! What a pleasant surprise! Why are you panting like this? Are you running away from someone? Come in, grab a beer,” he said and welcomed me.
It was one of those defining moments where I couldn’t help but feel that Jake was the one I was destined to be with. He knew well that I had blown him off and yet he took me in; no questions asked.
“No questions? No suggestions on why I shouldn’t behave the way I did?” I asked because I knew that Jake deserved better.
“Dude, I knew it would be hard on you. To be honest, when you turned down my offer to be with me the next day, I knew you were facing an inner crisis. I have been there and I know how hard it gets. No hard feelings mate.”
I looked at him and I knew I was really lucky to have found him. There was no way I could have found anyone better. Heck, it was not about better. Jake was the only person I could imagine my life with.
That night we decided to truly set the foundation of our relationship. There were still so many things we didn’t know about each other. I wanted to explore every layer. I wanted to start a new relationship based on trust, mutual feelings, likes, dislikes and more.
“Jake, I am not looking to rush things here, but this is not a temporary thing for me, either. I am not into one night stands or booty calls. I want you, Jake. I want us. Are you looking for something long term? I haven’t exactly come out of the closet yet, but between the two of us, I want this relationship to last.”
Jake was the only guy I had ever been truly honest with because no one knew that I was gay. If there was one person in the whole world who was aware of this secret, it was Jake and I poured my heart out to him.
Jake looked at me and said, “Before I met you, I had no plans of settling down in life. I am like one of those free birds who believed in living life one day at a time. But, there is something about you Nathan that makes me wish for a beautiful tomorrow. I am tired of being a booty call or being with people who are temporary pit stops. I am not looking for any of those things anymore.
“I want to eventually settle down in life with someone I love. I know all of this may sound overwhelming, which is why I want the two of us to go slow.”
I was amazed at how sensible Jake was. I wanted to be like him—cool and composed. I knew he was one of those people who would make me a better guy. I looked forward to all the memories that life would throw at us.
* * *
In less than a week, I had moved into Jake’s apartment, into our own little world. I would return from my office at the end of the day, and we would spend the evening cooking dinner and watching movies.
While I loved action flicks, Jake had always had a thing for those romantic chic movies. He would often get teary eyed even at some of the most puke-worthy, sappy scenes and then I would have to kiss him and spice up the night with some sex.
There was a part of me that knew that he did all of it on purpose. Sex with Jake never got boring. He was one of those enthusiastic guys who made it a point to try out something new. He knew some of the most amazing positions and would take my body for a wild ride.
We woke up clad in each other’s arms every morning and would go for a long jog together. Jogging with Jake was a lot of fun as it was often hard for me to catch up with his pace. He gave me some amazing incentives like successive blowjobs, candlelight date, his home-cooked cheese pasta and sometimes a promise of twin orgasms to keep me going.
We loved these little challenges and games and on those rare occasions when I would beat him and win the jogging race, he spanked me and carried me in his lap as a reward for being extra active.
In short, life had become bliss and it was hard for me to imagine a life without him. It was as if I couldn't even recall how I was living my life without Jake in it. He had become one of the core reasons for my survival and there was absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do to treasure and cherish him.
We celebrated every small and big cause for celebration and often a hot round of sex was a great way to end the day. Some days I would be scared of my life because everything was so good that I shuddered at what would happen if things fell apart.
“What is making you look so worried, Nathan?” Jake asked.
“I read somewhere that you should never make a person or a thing a cause of your happiness because if that gets taken away from you, you would never know how to live your life.”
I didn’t even have to explain anything, as Jake got what I meant.
“I am not leaving you, dude. Not now, not ever. We’re a thing and we’re going to last, always.”
Those were the exact words I needed and at that time, I had believed them because, for a while, I had forgotten that reality and dreams often didn’t coexist.
6
It was like any other day except it brought the first troubles into our happy life. Being with Jake had changed me for the good and I was no longer the nerdy guy at the office. People started opening up to me and I made a few friends as well.
However, if there was one thing that I still couldn’t get myself to do, it was come out of the closet. My whole office knew that I was staying with a guy who was my friend. They had once met Jake and they all loved his carefree attitude. I remembered asking Jake not to tell others that he was gay because it would make my colleagues jump to conclusions.
I had seen the hurt in his eyes. Jake had never considered his sexuality to be a cause of embarrassment. It was hard for him to see me hiding my sexuality. However, being the kind of person he was, he had agreed.
The real dilemma started when my office colleagues invited themselves to our place for the Superbowl, hearing about our massive flat screen TV.
This made me extremely stressed and I didn’t know what to do. Meeting Jake for a one-off meeting was something we could handle. But if they would be at our place, the odds were high that they would get an idea that we weren’t just roommates, but a lot more.
“Come on Nathan, what’s the big deal? They’re your friends now. You’ll have to come clean with them eventually, so why not now?”
“Damn Jake, not now. You can see how stressed I already am.”
Jake decided not to say anything else and he simply headed out the front door. My friends came and Jake arrived back late. He didn’t speak too much to them and pretended to be ill. I knew he was hurt and I promised to make up for my mistakes when they were gone.
It was 2 AM when they all left and I could see Jake was tired.
“Jake?” I said.
“It’s quite late. Let’s sleep, Nathan. We can talk tomorrow.”
“Jake, listen to me. I can explain.”
“What will you explain, Nathan? Can you explain why you were scared of coming near me? Can you explain how madly you would have reacted had I kissed you in front of your friends? Can you explain what is ever going to come out of us?
I am tired of being your dirty secret. I thought I would be patient and wait for you to come out if the closet, but I don’t see that happening. I don’t see any of it happening at all. I would be old, reach 80 years of age and I would still remain your roommate! I’m getting tired of this shit! It’s not wrong to be gay! You, of all people, need to get this.”
I knew whatever he said was right and I knew there was no shame in accepting who I was, but it wasn’t so easy either.
Jake had hi
s life figured out. His friends and family always knew he was gay. What could I do? How could I come out now, this late in the game?
Jake looked at me with finality in his eyes and asked, “Are you going to come out of the closet—yes or no?
“Jake, listen to me. I can—"
“Yes or no?” Jake asked.
“I’m sorry Jake, but I can’t.”
“I love you, Nathan. I really do. But I can’t be your secret anymore. I love you to the moon and back, but...”
I knew what this meant. We were done. Over. Just like that.
This was the end, the end of a beautiful journey which I would never forget.
7
Life without Jake was disastrous. The more I tried not to think about him, the more he popped into my mind.
Jake had become an integral part of my life, our lives so intertwined that it was impossible for me to do anything without considering him first. However, this was life, and it often plays by its own rules. I knew there was nothing I could possibly do to fix the mess I had made for myself.
A week passed and life had never seemed more of a hell. No matter what I did or where I went, I missed Jake. I missed his comforting presence. My body missed him and so did the heart. It was impossible for me to obliterate Jake from my life and the more I thought about him, the more I regretted my decision.
I knew it was time for me to really think about where I had drifted. It wasn't like I was ashamed of being gay, but I was scared of the what-ifs and maybes and the questioning glances of too many people and the way my colleagues and boss would react. I was skeptical of society and the labels they would impose and I was worried about how my life would change because of my decision.
However, deep in my heart, I knew the one person that truly mattered was neither society, nor my colleagues—it was Jake and merely accepting who I was would have saved my relationship with him.
College Threeway: A First Time Gay Romance (Bareback University) Page 10
