by Erin Bevan
“Alex.” He ran after her. She sat on the commode, her pants by her ankles, blood trickling down her legs.
No. Damn it. No.
This can’t be happening.
“Max.” She reached for his hand and pulled him down next to her. She fell into his shoulder as thick sobs erupted from her chest.
“Alex, I’m going to take you to the hospital, okay?”
She nodded against his shoulder. He helped her to her feet, pulling her pants back up, before he hoisted her into his arms and rushed her down the stairs to his car.
The baby.
Their baby.
The baby he was going to adopt. Within the blink of an eye, everything they both wanted was slipping away from them one at a time. How would he ever get her to stay with him now?
26
Alex lay in the hospital bed, waiting on the doctor. Max had held her hand from the moment they’d arrived, never letting her go. With or without the doctor, they both knew what happened. She’d lost the baby. A steady stream of tears fell down her cheeks as Max gripped her hand tighter, neither one of them knowing what to say.
A sudden void and emptiness filled her, and a need to have her mother there with her tugged on her. How would her mother handle this?
“Max, can you please call my mom. I think she should be here right now.”
“I already have. She’ll be here soon.” He caressed her hand as Shelby walked in.
Tears lined her best friend’s eyes, and a waterfall threatened to escape Alex again. How could she have so many tears? Hadn’t she cried them all out by now? Her head pounded with pressure, her heartbeat ragged. This baby would have been so loved.
“I’ll let you two have some time alone. I’ll be right back,” Max said, glancing between her and Shelby.
“Thank you,” she said as he kissed her on her forehead.
Shelby passed Max a sad glance before he stepped out into the hall.
“Hey, honey. I’m so sorry.” Shelby scooted to her side.
“How did you know I was here?” Everything happened so fast. She hadn’t had a chance to tell anyone.
“Max texted me. He said he’d brought you in and that he figured you’d want me here.”
“Oh, Shelby. I do.” Alex reached for her friend’s hand. “What am I going to do now? I’ve lost the baby. One of the main reasons why Max and I were getting married was to give this baby a father. What if he calls the whole thing off now?”
“Did he say that?” Shelby sat beside her on the bed.
“No, but it’s only a matter of time. Max hasn’t stuck with someone this long ever. What real reason does he have now?”
“Alex, please stop talking that way. He’s not going to call the wedding off.”
A light tap came from the door. Dr. Ramirez walked in. “Alex, hi.” The doctor gave her a tentative smile. “I’m going to need to check you. Would you mind stepping outside, please?” Dr. Ramirez asked Shelby.
“Of course. I’ll be right outside, Alex. I’ll be here when everything’s done.”
Alex nodded and squeezed Shelby’s hand. As soon as the door shut, Dr. Ramirez raised the cloth that had been wrapped around Alex’s legs and guided her feet into the stirrups. After a brief exam, she said, “You can close your legs now.” Alex did so and tried to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry, Alex, but you’re having a miscarriage. For the next few days you should take it easy. You’ll experience a lot of cramp-like pains and bleeding. You can take pain relievers for it, and be sure to wear heavy sanitary napkins. I’d like to see you in my office next Thursday to check you again.”
Alex nodded. “Doctor, I’m supposed to get married next Saturday. Do you think I’ll be able?”
Next Saturday. A little over a week for Max to realize he didn’t have to continue with this charade anymore.
The doctor gave her a sweet smile. “I think if you get plenty of rest, you should be okay.”
Okay.
Would she ever be okay again?
“Would you like me to send your friend back in?” Dr. Ramirez asked.
“Yes, please.”
When the doctor opened the door, it wasn’t Shelby behind it but her mother.
“Oh, Alex, baby.”
Her mother rushed to her side, and a deep need to be held like a child overcame her.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Mom.” She wrapped her arms around her mother and sobbed into her shoulder. “I wanted to, but it was all such a surprise. None of this was supposed to happen this way.”
“Hush now. It’s going to be all right.” Her mother soothed her by smoothing her hair down. “Max is outside worried sick about you. He looks like he has the weight of the world on him.”
Or he’s coming to his senses about what this really means.
“He’s probably trying to figure out how to call the wedding off.”
Her mother pulled back. “Now why in the world would you say something like that?”
“The baby was the main reason we were getting married.” The main reason out of all the wrong ones. “I know Max loves me, but without this baby, and since I don’t have to worry about losing my job anymore, there’s no reason for him to marry me.”
“Stop that nonsense. Max Buchanan loves you, has from the beginning of time. What did the doctor say? Will you be okay to get married by next weekend?”
How can her mother be so sure?
“She seems to think so.”
“Then the wedding will continue as planned.”
She could only hope.
“Mom, I’m sorry if I’ve embarrassed you. I never meant to get pregnant or lose my job. It was all an accident.”
“Stop that. There are no accidents when it comes to babies, just happy surprises. But God decided he wanted his angel back. You and Max can make plenty more.”
Or their first one. But would they? She wasn’t so sure anymore.
27
Alex stood in her old bedroom at her parents’ house, running her hands down her wedding dress. The past week she’d spent practically doing nothing more than laying on her couch, pointing to flowers, ribbons, and lace as her mother held them out to her. And each time she made a decision, a piece inside of her died little by little. Max and she had hardly spoken the past few days, and each time he came around her, he treated her as if she were a fragile china doll.
The morning paper stared back at her from her old vanity. Max was behind in the race for mayor. “Who Will Win the Next Election,” the headline read, with a graph showing Max down by three points.
“Ryker Reynolds has my vote.” She read the quote from a local townsman underneath the graph. “Buchanan could be good, but he’s got too many other irons in the fire to be reliable.”
Too many other irons. A sick feeling swirled in her stomach.
The article went on to talk about the achievements of both men, along with Max’s upcoming nuptials to her.
“Buchanan’s about to be a newlywed,” said another person. “He doesn’t have time to be mayor.”
So, she was one of those too many other irons.
Marrying Max was supposed to help him win, not hinder him, while he provided a father to her child in order for her to keep her job. Currently, she was childless and jobless, and he was losing his race…all because of her.
Why tie her best friend down to a marriage that served no purpose anymore?
She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. Max was a free spirit, one that didn’t settle for long. What kind of friend would she be if she made him stick with her?
“Alex, dear, are you all right? You look a little confused,” her mother asked as she placed the pearl necklace around Alex’s neck.
Her something old. It had been her grandmother’s. Alex placed her hand to the delicate strand. Everything around her seemed so delicate right now, on the verge of breaking.
Would Max break like she would after she talked to him? But what was the old sayin
g? If you loved someone you had to set them free.
She had to set him free. For his own good.
“Alex, honey?”
“Yes.” She shook her head. “Sorry.” She turned.
“You look so beautiful. Max is going to fall head over heels in love with you all over again.”
She wouldn’t give him the chance.
“Mom, can you please tell Max to meet me out by the old tree house. I…I need to talk to him first.”
Her mother tucked a wayward strand behind her ear.
“Sure, dear, if you think that’s a good idea.”
“I do. Please, Mom. It’s…it’s important.”
“Okay.” Her mother took Alex’s hand and smoothed it between her own hands. “I just want you to know, whatever you decide to do today, it’s all right with your father and me. We support you all the way.”
Alex fought back the tears. “Thanks, Mom.”
Her mother dropped her hand and turned before she pivoted back toward Alex. “Dear, I may not have all the facts here about what’s going on, but I know men. If he didn’t want to marry you, he wouldn’t be getting dressed in our bedroom now.”
God, she hoped her mother was right.
Alex bit her bottom lip. “I’ll be outside.”
She picked up the hem of her dress and headed out the side entrance to the house, away from the guests. She kicked off her heels and left them by the door as she marched across the grass to the old fence post, right beside their tree house. The house she and Max had played in for five summers before they’d both outgrown it. It was the first place he’d told her he loved her, and then in the same breath told her how he wanted to be a boyfriend to Megan Moore, the prettiest girl in the class.
Jerk.
Still, even though she knew she was never the girl Max really wanted, the tree house was where her heart decided against loving other men. No one could ever hold a candle to Max. No one ever had.
She could feel him, sense his presence before she heard the grass crunching behind her. She turned to see the man she envisioned at the end of her wedding aisle standing in front of her. He had his hands in his pockets, his suit specially made and tailored to fit him, and as she stood there and stared at him another piece of her heart died. But she had to do this. Had to set him free.
She ran her hands down her dress, bunching the fabric in her hands.
“Alex…you…you look amazing.”
She couldn’t help but smile. She stared down at her dress. The top of her bodice hugged her, not too tight, but still tight enough to accentuate her curves like he’d asked for. “You don’t look too shabby yourself.” Understatement of the century.
He stepped closer, taking her hand in his. “What’s going on? You’re supposed to be walking down the aisle toward me in about two minutes.”
She bit her bottom lip and dipped her head.
“Alex.” He lifted her chin. “You know I’ve got you. Talk to me. Tell me what this is about?”
She took her hands out from his and turned toward the fence, leaning on the post, careful not to get her dress dirty.
“It’s this lie of a marriage we’re about to embark in. I saw the paper, Max. You’re down in the polls, and now that I’ve lost my job and the baby, there’s no sense in us continuing. All the reasons we were getting married, they aren’t the reasons anymore. And my mom…she’s…”Alex shook her head. “She’s so excited. All week, she’s talked about us trying again for another baby, and I can’t do that to you, Max.” A tear dotted her eye.
“Do what to me?” He pulled on her hands. “What are you talking about?”
“Trap you. Trap you over something that no longer exists, so let’s not hold off the inevitable, Max. Let’s just call it off now. We can still remain friends.”
“Call it off?” He dropped her hands and stared at her like she’d slapped him. “Friends? Alex, are you crazy?” His voice escalated. “We’re not calling this off.”
“Why Max? Why not stop a mistake before we make it.”
“Because it’s not a mistake, Alex!” Max raised his voice again, and shook his head, pacing near the fence. “From the very beginning, I should have told you how madly in love I am with you, I just didn’t think you’d believe me. I know my reputation proceeds me, so I thought if I showed you, if I was there for you, you would see that I really cared.”
But caring isn’t enough. Even love isn’t enough. Commitment took more than care, more than love. It took time, true devotion, and putting someone else above yourself. Just like she tried to do now.
“I know you care, Max. You always have. But, what happens in a year, or two, when you get tired of being with me? Huh? When you wish you had your bachelor days again and you regret getting married to me when you didn’t have to? What about then?”
A time she didn’t want to think about. Best to just end this whole charade now. She would save herself future heartache.
“What about then, Alex?” He stopped pacing and raised his hands in the air. “What if in two years you decide you don’t want to be with me?” He pointed at her, his stance wide, staring at her with a hard gaze. “How do you think I would feel in that situation?”
“That would never happen, and you know it,” she raised her voice, irritated with his irritation.
How dare he come at her like this? She stared into his green eyes, her anger flaring, not daring to back down from his unspoken staring challenge. “I’ve always cared about you and you know it.”
He stepped closer, slowly, like a lion hunting its prey, his gaze never leaving hers as his face softened before he took her hands in his. “And Alex, I’ve always loved you. I’m madly, desperately in love with you, and have been since I was a child. You’ve been the one constant in my life. The one person I could never stand to lose. I’m sorry I’ve made so many mistakes in my past, and I know loving me is a huge gamble for you, but take a leap, babe.”
He gave her hands a little tug just like his words tugged at her heart.
“Take this chance in life with me and live for today, because—"
“That’s all we’ve got.” She smiled up at him, her fears ebbing.
“Yes. Exactly.”
The same line he’d said in the airplane. He’d tried to get her out of her head then, and he was doing it now. Would she always overthink things like this?
“So…really? Madly? You’re madly in love with me?” She gave him a half-smile.
“Crazy, emphatically, delusionally in love with you. That’s why I’ve worked so hard my whole life, Alex. I’ve worked hard in school, with the company, and now running for mayor, even though I’m currently behind in the polls. I wanted you to see that I was worth your love. I was worthy of you.”
“Max, I’ve already told you, you’ve always been worthy, and I’ve always loved you. But how we got here…Lord.” She shook her head. “What a mess. We’ve lied to everybody, including each other in the process, about everything, and my mother still thinks the baby was yours.”
“But that’s the truth. You were pregnant with my baby. I was going to adopt it, give it my name. And your mother’s right. We can make many more babies in the future. Lots and lots of them if you want.”
“How about two?”
“How about five?”
“Five?” Alex laughed. “That’s a lot of kids.”
“And it will take lots and lots of practice. So, what do you say? Let’s seal the deal. Let’s put some socks on those cold feet of yours and marry me in your parents’ backyard like you’ve always wanted. Right now. Let me take you on a honeymoon to Scotland because our plane leaves in about...” Max checked his watch. “Fifteen hours.”
“Scotland? You’re taking me to Scotland?” Alex jumped, her dress ruffling around her legs.
“If you get across that lawn and marry me, yes, I’ll take you to Scotland and wherever else you want to go.”
There was nowhere else she wanted to go. She had everything she needed ri
ght here, with Max.
“I just want to go home, with you. I don’t care what home that is. Your house, my apartment, or somewhere new together, I don’t care. I just want us to be together forever. I want to be Mrs. Maximilian Buchanan.”
“And I want to be orgasm friends with my best friend for forever.”
Alex laughed. She had to admit, that would be a nice perk of the marriage package.
“I wrote that in my vows, by the way.” They headed across the grass back to her shoes.
“No you didn’t.” She slapped him on the shoulder.
“You’ll just have to marry me and see if I’m lying or not.” He winked as he helped her balance while she stuck her feet inside her shoes.
“Now, may I please hand you off to your father, so he can in return hand you back to me?”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.” She squeezed his arm.
“Me either.” He kissed the top of her head and shooed her back inside the house.
“See you at the end of the aisle.” He winked.
Exactly as it’s supposed to be.
The end.
The Big List of Thank You’s
Wowzers! This book is finally off into the world. Yay! I had lots and lots of help along the way. To my three editors, you ladies took this from a huge mess to a slightly lesser of a mess. Thank You!
To Abigail Owen, Carrie Pulkinen, and Angela Archer, thanks for all the help from plot points to cover.
To my Facebook followers, thank you for playing along with Destination Imagination! Some great names came from my Facebook peeps, like the name for the Carlisle building from Emilee Bowling. Thanks love!
To my husband, and kiddos, thanks for allowing mommy to have her writing time. Love you all so very much.
And to the wonderful people who read this book, thank you for spending some time with me. My mission is to entertain you, and I hope I succeeded.
