Sinful Ever After (Romance Collection)

by Vivian Wood

  I couldn’t stop crying then and I can’t hold back my tears now.

  Luca stops a few paces behind me. I feel self-conscious as I lay the flowers between my parents’ graves and sniffle.

  “Hi Mom. Hi Dad.” I fight to keep my composure. Looking back behind me, I see Luca waiting, his expression patient.

  He’s too close for me to talk to them like I usually do. I scrunch up my face but before I can say anything to him about it, he raises his hand.

  “I’ll be over there,” he says, pointing to the path we left a few minutes ago. “Take your time.”

  I bite my lip and watch him walk away, nearly disappearing into the foggy morning light. He stops and stares off into the distance, hovering just on the edge of my vision.

  I turn back to the graves, my brow furrowing. A dead leaf blows onto my father’s grave and stays there. Stepping closer, I remove it, stuffing the leaf in my pocket.

  “So that was Luca,” I say, glancing back at him briefly. “You met him, actually. I think you did anyway. The Christmas before…” I stop, correcting myself. “The Christmas before I graduated high school, I mean. I was at the Leone’s party. You both went to a movie and swung by the Leone’s house to pick me up. Luca introduced himself, even though I think it was brief.” I sniff. “Anyway, he’s a good guy. I know, I sort of hated him for all the years that you were… you were here.”

  I bow my head, sadness overwhelming me for a moment. My tears roll down my face, dripping off freely. It takes a minute to master myself again.

  “Sorry,” I rasp. I produce the wad of tissues, wiping my face and blowing my nose. “I just… I miss you guys both so much. It’s hard…” My voice cracks. Tears blur my vision. I bow again, going through the entire process. Let the tears overwhelm me, tamp down on my emotions again, blow my nose.

  “It’s hard living without you guys. Dad, you’ll be glad to know that I kept volunteering at the women’s shelter. Just like we used to do when you were alive. Mom, you’ll…” I pause. “Well, you’ll be glad to hear that I am still going to mass every week. You would be less excited to know that I’ve been living with Luca… but not everything is about church.”

  I look back at Luca, blowing out a breath. “Actually, I’m married. Well, not like… married married. But I married Luca after I had too much to drink. Don’t worry, I think we’re going to annul it. That should make you feel incrementally better about me living with someone. He is my husband.”

  For now, at least…

  Sighing, I purse my lips. “Grandma is good. She’s doing well. Luna is good. She’s working at the University of Washington Medical Center, doing her medical school rotations and stuff. Oh! And Harper got a job with a big publishing house. She has a fancy office downtown.”

  I think about what else they would like to know. “I realize that you guys probably are already aware of all of this… being up in heaven and all. I just… I wanted you to hear it all from me, I guess. Isn’t that silly? Feels kind of stupid, to be talking to your graves like you are actually here.”

  The church bells ring out again briefly, drawing my attention for a split second. It’s cold out here; I hunch down into my coat. And spend a few minutes staring at the ground in silence.

  “I guess I should go,” I say at length. “Just know…” Tears well again. “That you are very missed here. And you are still very loved. And although I have plenty of time left on earth, a lifetime will be over when you blink. We’ll all be together again in the afterlife. Okay?”

  I blow my nose again. “I’ll try to come see you guys in a few months, when it’s warmer outside. Okay? I won’t wait a year this time.” I wipe at my eyes. “Bye, Mom and Dad.”

  Turning away from their graves, I steel myself as I walk back down the row toward the path.

  I find Luca sitting on a bench, staring out across the graveyard. The morning is starting to warm up and with the warmth goes the fog. When he sees me walking toward him, his lips thin.

  “Hey.”

  I sit down beside him on the cement bench, looking out across the graveyard. “Hey.”

  A moment of tension blooms between us as I try to find the right thing to say. Something nice, something to erase the frown on his lips.

  “I’m sorry about your parents,” he says.

  I’m surprised by that. “Oh. Well… it was a while ago.”

  He sighs. “Yeah, I know. But the time passed obviously doesn’t make it better.”

  I narrow my eyes. “No. The pain fades but it doesn’t disappear.”

  I look down at my hands, rubbing them together for warmth. I’m still at a loss for words, it seems.

  Luca looks up at the sky. “I imagine that planning things is harder. Like big life things.” He slides me a glance. “Getting married, for instance. How do you throw a wedding when you know that your parents won’t be there?”

  I suck in a long breath. “For me, it isn’t that, exactly. It’s more like…” I stop to think for a few seconds. “Why date someone? Why get married? Why have kids? When my parents died, their love just… vanished. One day, just poof.” I gesture with my hands. “I’m so afraid to… to love anything or anyone like that ever again. It just seems like a surefire way to open yourself up to heartbreak.”

  Luca looks at me for a long moment. I expect him to disagree, to roll his eyes. To dismiss my feelings.

  But he doesn’t. Instead he reaches his arm around me, drawing me close. And I burrow into his warmth, appreciating his silent presence more than I think he knows. Putting my head on his shoulder, I try to control the way my eyes well up again.

  He puts his arm around my shoulders, holding me close. “It’s okay to cry, Cate.”

  For some reason, his words make a sob rise in my chest. But he doesn’t shush me or pull away. He just brushes some hair back from my face and rubs my shoulder a little bit.

  I bury my face in his leather jacket, breathing in his warm scent and crying like a little kid. His touch never changes, although I do notice that he does start rocking me a little bit.

  Consoling me, as it were. And to my surprise, it works a little. That, or I just expend all my energy here on this bench, clutching his jacket and sobbing.

  When I’m done, I am beyond spent. And Luca seems to know it somehow.

  He helps me up off the bench and guides me out of the cemetery, putting me in the passenger seat of his car. Then he drives me back to his house and takes me to my bed.

  I curl into a ball on my bed, exhausted. And Luca stays with me, rubbing my back lightly until I fall asleep.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Luca

  I am wondering, at this precise moment in time, what it would be like to keep Cate. I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of days. But right now I’m looking at her while she makes coffee in my kitchen, wearing a set of snowflake-patterned pajamas and a forlorn expression on her face. She puts her arms on the counter and leans down, watching the coffee drip.

  She is sexy, yes. And pretty easy to be around when she finally runs out of smart remarks. But seeing how she handled my parents the other night… how they basically loved her and paid almost zero attention to me… that was such a relief that I am now wondering how I could keep her around.

  And seeing her break down at the cemetery… there was a sad sort of magic there in the air. She was vulnerable and raw, I was silent and supportive…

  It was kind of odd but also kind of impressive that we were both so fucking adult about everything. It gave me a glimpse into what we could be if we were actually a thing.

  So yeah, I want to explore that feeling. And I think it will take longer than the five days we have left before Madisyn’s wedding.

  I mean, what I assume is Madisyn’s wedding… I haven’t exactly checked up on her or anything. Frankly, I would pull out of going altogether, but I don’t want to upset the delicate balance Cate and I seem to have just now.

  I look at her, pouring steaming coffee into two mugs and
adding a splash of cream to each.

  I don’t want to pay Cate for additional time…. I don’t want that sort of arrangement. Just… I don’t know. It would be nice if she were just to want to stick around. I would just have to convince her that we — me and her — are worth sticking around for.

  What would happen if I told my lawyer not to file the annulment paperwork? Or not yet, at least.

  She turns and slides one of the mugs of coffee to me. “Here.”

  I take the coffee, watching her as I take a sip. It’s burning hot but creamy and delicious. Smiling, I take another sip.

  “Thanks.”

  Cate looks at me, her gaze calculating. “I’d like to take you to a place.”

  Setting my mug down, I wrinkle my forehead. I tease her. “You’re going to have to be more specific before I’ll agree to it. You could be planning to take me to the industrial part of downtown where you’ll drug me and steal my kidneys.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Luca, seriously.”

  My lips lift. “I seriously like having both my kidneys, Cate.”

  She snorts. “You are impossible.”

  When she picks her coffee mug up like she’s going to leave the kitchen, I snake my hand around her waist. “Wait, wait. Tell me more about where you want us to go.”

  A mischievous look settles on her elfin face. “Nope. I’m not going to tell you anything. I want to give you the address and have you drive there first.”

  I pretend to think about it. “Hmm. What will you give me in exchange for this huge amount of trust you’re asking of me?”

  Her lips quirk. She sets down her mug and pushes up onto her tiptoes, brushing her lips across mine. “I don’t know. What did you have in mind?”

  I kiss her neck and she giggles. Cupping her breasts through their brightly-colored flannel covering, I whisper in her ear. “I bet I can make you beg me to fuck you.”

  She rolls her eyes and grins. “I don’t know about that.”

  Kissing her again, I release her. “We’ll just see about that. One mystery trip will cost you one hour with me, doing whatever I want.”

  She bites her lip, a salacious grin on her face. “That sounds fair. It’s a deal. Get dressed and meet me at the car in ten minutes.”

  I drink my coffee as I put on a clean white t-shirt, dark blue jeans, and my leather jacket. What sort of place is Cate taking me to? I honestly can’t imagine.

  On the ride there, I try to guess.

  “Is it a motorcycle sales place?” I ask.

  Cate slides me a look. “It’s definitely not that.”

  “Hmm.” I purse my lips. “The other day, you showed me a video of a celebrity whose husband brought a sloth into her bedroom just because she loves sloths.”

  She wrinkles her nose. “So?”

  “So are you taking me to a secret sloth sanctuary or something?”

  She rolls her eyes. “No, definitely not. And by the way, her husband only got her the sloth experience because he knew how much she loved them. And because her crying at seeing the sloth was so adorable. Somehow, I don’t think you feel the same way about sloths.”

  I shake my head. “No, I don’t.”

  She sighs heavily. “I think you’re getting the wrong idea about this place anyway. It’s more of a… mmm… a thing that revolves around me. I’m just taking you with me because I want you to see what I’m going to spend your annulment money on.”

  I raise my eyebrows. “Wait, really?”

  She looks out the window, her expression unreadable. “Yep.”

  I turn that over in my head for a bit. We start to go through a neighborhood that I know for some reason. Large brick houses that have mostly seen better days. I squint and I try to remember why I know the address Cate gave me.

  Then we pull up outside the house she lived in with her parents. I turn off the engine, trying to understand why we’re here.

  She turns to me, excitement on her face. “It’s stayed the same, don’t you think?”

  I lean down and look at the house. It’s actually in worse repair than I remember it being in. The gutters are overflowing with leaves, the concrete path leading to the dingy front door has several breaks in it.

  “Do you not own this anymore?” I ask, slowly piecing things together.

  Cate shakes her head. “No. My grandmother had to sell it when my parents passed away.” She looks at the house longingly. “But look.” She takes a worn piece of paper out of her purse, unfolding it and smoothing it out. I look at it carefully and see that it’s a real estate listing for the house. “It’s for sale!”

  I give her a puzzled look. “Why are you showing me this place?”

  “Because I want you to know what I am planning on spending the ten thousand dollars on. That money, plus my own money that I’ve saved… they’ll go into buying this place.” She scrunches up her face. “Well, once I earn a little more money. I think I’m about ten thousand short but I’ll earn that pretty quickly working at the bar.”

  Of all the things I thought she might show me, her escape route from this marriage wasn’t one of them. I’m silent for a few beats. My eyes scan her face and she frowns.

  “I thought you were going to be more supportive about this.”

  I lift a brow. “About you buying a crumbling property that I have nothing to do with?”

  She glances out her window, biting her lip. “I wouldn’t call it crumbling.”

  I sigh sharply. “The house is in obvious disrepair, Cate. I hope you didn’t tell me about it as a way to tell me that I should buy it. Because aside from you having an emotional attachment to it, the house might as well be razed.”

  “First off, I was not trying to get you to buy it. I don’t know where you came up with that idea. And why are you being so mean right now?”

  I shrug, feeling out of my depth here. “You say I’m being mean, I say I’m being a realist. This place is barely standing up, Cate.”

  “It is not!” She hits my arm.

  I look at her, my expression stony. “Are you saying that you’re ready to move out?”

  She looks taken aback by that. Cate shakes her head. “No. I mean, I’ll move out when you want me out. Or when our annulment comes through, whichever comes first.”

  I take a deep breath, looking at the house again. “Is that it? We push forward and get the annulment so that you can move out?”

  She stares at me, a little stunned. “I didn’t realize that there were any other options, Luca.”

  My forehead wrinkles. “There are, though. I mean… there should be, at least.” I glance straight ahead, my hands coming up to the wheel. “I care about you, Cate.”

  I just thrust the statement out into existence, my stomach twisting. It’s how I feel, yes. But I don’t know about how Cate feels so there is every probability that she’s going to be appalled.

  “What does that mean, exactly?” she asks softly. She touches my arm, drawing my gaze.

  I look at her, my stare intensifying. “I don’t know,” I admit, my voice a low rumble. “But I think you feel it too. That this could be something, if we just let it grow a little.”

  She blushes but she doesn’t look away. “I care for you too, Luca. It’s just…” She pauses, a muscle twitching in her cheek. She swallows. “I know I’m not very good at talking about how I feel. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything.”

  She lowers her gaze, her hand falling away from my arm. I shift toward her, cupping her face and turning her gaze back to me. She looks at me, brows furrowed, her teeth biting into her lower lip.

  Ever so slowly, I brush my kiss across her lips. Her eyes sink closed as she opens her mouth against mine. She tastes amazing, her vanilla cinnamon flavor bursting across my tongue. I need more of it. My hand slips around her waist as I pull her close.

  I always need more when it comes to Cate. More of her drugging kisses, more of her quiet moans. More of her soft body burrowed against mine as we rest, my arms shielding h
er or caging her, I don’t know which.

  She’s the first to pull back, her pupils dilated, her breathing ragged. “Take me to your bed, Luca.”

  I nod, frowning. “We’re not done with this conversation though, are we?”

  She bites her lip, hard white against soft, plush pink. “Not unless you want to be done.”

  Smiling stiffly, I start the car and throw it into drive. All the way home, I turn over the words she said to me.

  I care for you too, Luca.

  Is that enough for us to take a chance on?

  I don’t know, but I’ll be darned if I don’t want to find out.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Cate

  I want him, I think. I want him bad.

  I miss a step somehow, tripping and dropping half the towels, sprawling towards him. He reaches out to keep me from falling, grabbing me by the shoulders.

  “Ooh!” I say, my breath coming out in a whoosh.

  “Easy,” he says, steadying me. I shiver again as I stand up straight, and he looks at me with a very serious expression. “We should get you out of these wet clothes.”

  I let my head fall back, looking up at him. He stares down at me, bringing his hand up to push back a couple of pieces of hair that are plastered to my forehead.

  I don’t dare to breathe. I don’t dare to speak. I’m frozen under his beautiful green gaze, waiting for him to make a move.

  Luca cups my cheek, running his thumb roughly along the outline of my lips. He bites his bottom lip; for the first time since I’ve met him, I know without a doubt what he is thinking.

  He wants me.

  Suddenly I push up onto my tiptoes, bringing my lips a fraction of an inch from his. I gaze into his eyes, asking him a wordless question. Is it worth it?

  Almost begging. His gaze flickers down to my lips. I can feel his breath against my mouth, his warm breath fanning across my skin.