by Vivian Wood
“Hey. It’s good to see you up.”
She approaches me, herding me back into my bedroom. I look askance at her.
“Yeah, I slept a few hours. Now I’m fine.”
She pauses, then shoos me back into bed. “You’ve been feverish for three days, Gabe. You were really out of it.”
Now it’s my turn to look surprised. “Three days? Are you sure?”
Luna grabs her thermometer and puts it to my ear. “I’m very sure.” The thermometer beeps and she pulls it away to read it. “Great. It looks like your fever has broken.”
My mouth feels so dry, like my throat is made of hot sand. “Can I have something to drink?”
Her eyes light up. “Yeah? You feel like you can keep some water down now?”
“Ummm… yeah?” I say. “Was there a time when I couldn’t?”
She screws up her face. “Yes. The day before yesterday you actually threw up on me. I’m glad you’re feeling better now.”
My neck heats. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember getting sick at all, period.”
Luna smiles. “That’s okay. You were pretty out of it.” She bites her lip, looking away. “You talked about Michelle in your sleep.”
That makes me sit up, alarmed. “What? What did I say?”
She shrugs. “You just muttered, mostly. From what I could tell, you were dreaming about her. You didn’t seem happy.”
Feeling strangely vulnerable, I clamp my mouth shut. What kind of things did I reveal when I was out of it?
“I’ll go get you some broth.” Luna stands up, giving me a tight smile. “It’s good to see some color back in your cheeks, Gabe.”
She lets herself out of my room. I watch her go, wondering at what I said to her.
God, please let me not have done anything crazy while I was raving from fever.
For the rest of the day I recuperate, looking at the regatta map a little. Luna assures me that everything is taken care of in my absence. So I just take it slow.
I shower and shave for the first time in days. I eat a sandwich and drink a ton of water.
Later after the sun has long since disappeared, Luna knocks on my door.
“Let’s change your sheets,” she says, holding a bundle of cotton under her arm. “There’s nothing nicer than feeling clean, right?”
Sighing, I climb to my feet. “I can change them myself.”
She gives me a funny look. “I’m here. How about we do it together?”
Rolling my eyes, I give a smile and shrug. “Whatever floats your boat.”
Luna is efficient at this, obviously. She tosses my pillows onto the floor, moving to unbutton the duvet cover. She stays silent, which makes me wonder what she’s thinking about.
She looks up and colors when she catches my gaze on her. “What?” she asks, patting her hair.
I suck in a breath. “What kinds of things was I saying earlier? I mean, when I was out of it.”
“Ah.” She unbuttons a few more buttons on the duvet, looking at me as though she is trying to decide what to tell me. “You called for Michelle. Then you cursed her for being gone.”
She scrutinizes the duvet, even though we both know that it isn’t really necessary. A sigh slips from my lips, which draws her gaze back up to my face.
“Yeah, that’s… that’s about how I feel,” I admit. “I’m pissed at her still, though it’s been nine months.”
My fists clench convulsively on the last few words. To hide my reaction, I tug the duvet out of Luna’s hands. “Here, I’ll finish this bit.”
She looks at me, her expression uncharacteristically hard to read. “Ah. I see. I mean, you did have your whole lives that were planned out together… it must be hard to have to change everything now.”
A corner of my mouth turns down. “Yeah.” I glance at her, screwing up my face. “Michelle didn’t just die. She took her own life.”
She pales a bit, fumbling with the sheet. “Oh.” It takes her a minute before she looks up at me, pinning me with her blue gaze. “I’m so sorry that that happened, Gabe.”
I shrug, because what else am I supposed to do. “It turns out, she had way more shit going on than I realized. She was in debt, like big debt, and she owed money to a lot of bad people.” I blow out a slow breath. “If she had just come to me…”
Instantly the pit of my stomach starts burning, acid swirling around inside me.
Luna drops the fabric she’s holding and comes over to my side of the room, touching my arm lightly. “Hey.”
I gaze at her, my eyes locking on her. She looks troubled.
“It’s not your fault,” she says, her voice so low that she’s almost whispering. “It sounds like she was really screwed up. It would have taken a lot more than just you to fix her problems. You know that, right?”
A muscle in my cheek jumps because my jaw is so tense. “Yeah.”
“Gabe?”
“Yeah?”
She bites her lip. “Can I just… can I hug you?”
I lift my eyebrows. “Uhh…”
Do I really want to let anyone pity me?
When I waver for a second, Luna decides to hug me anyway. She closes her arms around me, putting her head on my chest. I stiffen against her touch, but inside I’m thinking of how good she smells.
Her hair is especially fragrant, smelling like coconut and clean laundry. It’s intoxicating to me.
When she lifts her head, probably about to say something to me that is kind yet undeserved, I stop her the simplest way I know how.
My lips brush hers. Her eyes go wide. She pushes herself back, forcefully separating us. “Gabe…”
It only makes me want her more.
“Just for tonight,” I tell her, pulling her closer. “Just one more time.” I kiss her again. “Please, Luna…”
She sighs against my lips. “Are you sure?”
I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. I turn her around as though we are dancing and push her down on the bed.
“I’m sure,” I whisper into her ear. “I just want to live right now. I want to think of you, and only of you…”
Cupping her jaw, I kiss her jawline, her neck. I hear the rushed inhalation as she sucks in a breath.
“Gabe…” she whispers again. “You are ruining me…”
My hands slide down to the hem of her skirt. My tongue slips into the shell of her ear. She gasps as my fingers skim up the top of her thigh.
“You love it though…”
She moans raggedly as I trail my fingers across the front of her panties. Pushing her own fingers into my hair, she looks at me, her blue eyes piercing me through and through.
“Don’t toy with me,” she begs. “If you want me, I’m yours. But just remember that this was your idea…”
I silence her again with another kiss to her lips. Yes, I am aware that I’m probably using her.
I don’t want to feel anything, so I’m using her as a sort of shield. Her soft curves and loud moans can protect me from thinking about anything else, even if it’s just for a little while.
She opens her mouth to me, blossoming under my attentions. I cup her breast and tease my fingers across that same spot on the front of her panties, building tension and anticipation.
Yeah, I know that I should probably deal with my anger and grief through some other means. But this way…
This way feels so, so good.
Chapter Twenty
Luna
Gabe is everywhere all at once, his calloused fingers touching my shoulders and my breasts, his hips pinning mine against the doorway. I throw my head back as he traces his lips down the column of my neck to the firm lines of my collarbone. He shifts me impatiently, pulling me up to sit on the bed.
He draws the remaining shoulder strap of my tank top down my arm, exposing more cleavage. “Fuck,” he mutters, sliding his gaze up to meet my own. “Do you realize how fucking beautiful you are, princess?”
My cheeks turn pink. He used my nic
kname again; one I’ve hardly heard since I was a kid. Under his relentless gaze, I feel so seen, the opposite of invisible.
“No,” I breathe. His look is so direct and frank, so honest. It sears me from the inside out.
When he speaks again, it’s as much a worshipful promise as it is a compliment.
“I do.” He sucks in a ragged breath. “I’ve always thought you were beautiful.”
My eyes widen at that. It’s a little hard to believe him, but it’s even harder not to counter that with the earnestness written across his face.
In the next second, Gabe buries his face in the space between my breasts. I’m not wearing a bra, so when he pushes aside the material and exposes both my breasts, I’m bare before him.
“Fuck,” he mutters again, looking at my breasts. My hard pink nipples demand attention. My whole body tingles in anticipation of his mouth on my skin.
He puts his hands on my breasts, pushing them together, licking and kissing them both. My back bows, thrusting my nipples out and pushing my head back. I feel that familiar connection in my body, between my neck and my breasts, my nipples and my pussy. I roll my hips against his, my mouth opening to release a soft moan.
This is everything. This moment, these sensations, that passionate expression on his face. They are what I was missing, without even knowing it. I suddenly feel like I am on the threshold of being a whole person.
I push eagerly onward, rolling my hips again. Gabe has whatever I lack. He’s going to fill a chasm deep inside of me that I never even knew was there.
Burying my fingers in the short hair at his nape, I gasp as he impatiently plucks at my tank top where it’s tucked into my skirt. He rucks the shirt up and I raise my arms to help him get it off over my head.
He groans, looking at me. Gabe’s arms encircle me, feeling for the zipper to my skirt. “It’s not enough, princess. I want you naked, wet, and ready for me,” he grits out.
His gaze is direct and scorching. He is a ravenous fire, threatening to burn me alive. And I am the kindling, stacked and ready, welcoming his spark to my dry tinder. We are so very close to combusting.
“I’m ready,” I whisper, helping him find the hidden zipper to my skirt. “I need you, Gabe.”
His fingers undo the zipper, ripping the garment in his hurry to get me naked. At the same time, I pull up his shirt, exposing his abs and then his chest. He stops and tears his shirt over his head, pressing his kiss down on me like he’s drowning and I’m the only oxygen in the world.
I work at the zipper on his jeans, undoing it and then sliding my hands around to his ass. I slip my hands down the strong muscles I find there, pulling him against my body again. He shucks my skirt down my legs as I slip his jeans down his hips, pushing up on my tiptoes to kiss him again. Our tongues dance for several beats.
He frames my breasts with his touch, then slips one of his hands down my ribs, down my belly, to the fine thatch of dark hair that grows between my legs. I close my eyes and moan as he probes the folds of my pussy. It’s all I can do not to spread my legs and beg for him to touch me like a bitch in heat.
In the next second though, he nips at my earlobe and takes that away from me.
“Scoot back,” he urges, voice gone to gravel. “Open your legs for me, princess. Let me see your creamy pussy.”
Dropping my head and moving a couple of inches further back on the bed, I moan as his clever fingers find my clit.
“That’s it,” he coaxes, looking down. He puts a little space between our bodies, urging me onward. “Spread your knees wide for me, honey.”
Feeling a weird combination of shameless and embarrassed, I spread my legs as far as they will go. If anybody else saw me like this, so naked and utterly desperate, I would die. But I look at Gabe and the desire in his expression emboldens me.
I want to be wanton with him, to show him how hungry I am for whatever he will give me. I’ve waited for this my whole life, so I might as well be brazen right now.
Gabe puts two fingers in his mouth, then drops those fingers down to massage my clit. I am not a choir girl; I’ve definitely rubbed my clit before. But when he does it, it feels wholly different. It feels so damned good, like I’m stretching and reaching for something explosive that is just outside of my grasp. He looks deep in my eyes and controls me with his touch, so that I’m spread open and wet, my heart pounding.
He grabs my breast with his newly freed hand, swapping the two. I lean back a little, biting my lip and staring at him like he’s a whole damned meal and I’m starving.
Gabe gets this little smirk on his lips as he looks at me.
“What?” I ask, flushing at his probing gaze.
His smile widens just bit. His fingers dip from my clit to my core, circling and teasing.
“I’m just watching you. Waiting to see you come apart.” He slides one finger into my core, lighting up a whole part of my body that I didn’t even realize felt good.
I shiver against the sensation. “What if I don't?”
God, what if I can’t? I never thought about it, but that is possible.
Now he grins, leaning down to kiss my collarbone. When he speaks, the sound of it reverberates against my flesh. “You will.”
He sinks down to his knees. My thighs tense and my knees start to close, but he tuts at me. “Stop.”
Pulling both hands out to push my knees wide again, Gabe starts kissing the inside of my thigh, making a clear path to my pussy. I squirm as I ache for what I know is coming.
I’ve seen enough movies to know that he is about to eat me out. I can feel the excitement building, feel myself growing hotter and wetter every second. His nose tickles the inside of my thigh.
I can’t help the moan that escapes my lips when he parts my pussy lips with two fingers, blowing delicately on the too-needy flesh he finds there.
Gabe glances at me, still smirking. “If you like what I’m doing, if you want more of something, I expect you to tell me. Moan, use words, whatever feels right.”
I don’t know what else to do but nod. As he slowly kisses my pussy, I hold my breath and bury my fingers in his hair. When his tongue circles my clit, a moan bursts from my throat. It feels natural, so I just go for it.
He sets up a rhythm, licking and sucking, making me as hot as fire. It feels good to rock my hips against his mouth, to whisper yes when he hits the right spot, to throw my head back and let soft sounds leave my throat.
All the while, he keeps leading me down a path, driving me wilder and wilder with desire, until…
I climax suddenly, violently. Choking, I feel the vibrations deep within my body ripple out to my breasts, my collarbone, my legs, my fingertips, my toes. Gabe is already kissing his way up my body, getting to his feet. I turn my flushed face up to him, offering him my mouth.
He takes it greedily, his breath tasting deep and earthy and charged, the flavor a little like putting my tongue on a battery. It’s my taste, I realize with a start. I have a flavor of my very own.
His hands are everywhere, sliding from my shoulders down to grab my ass, then back up to my breasts. Although I just orgasmed, already I can feel my body preparing for more. I still want him.
I cling to his shoulders with one arm, smoothing my fingers down his back to his bare ass. Now I’ve lost some of my shyness, exploring the shape of his ass boldly. It’s dense muscle, lean and smooth just like every other place on his body that I’ve touched.
Gabe moves back an inch, pushing his jeans down to reveal his cock. Thick and long and nothing short of glorious, his cock jumps at my touch. Curious, I feel the weight of it in my palm.
He bites his lower lip and allows my inquisitive touch for a moment. When I curl my fingers around his cock and give it an experimental stroke though, he hisses and stops my hand.
“Not this time, princess,” he manages, looking a little strangled.
My eyes widen and I pull my hand back. “Did I hurt you?”
He chuckles a little, shaking his he
ad. He cups my jaw, looking into my eyes. “No. I just… It won’t take much to set me off, and I want to be able to last for you.”
That surprises me. “Oh,” is the only thing I can think of to say, but I have a million questions.
The next second Gabe puts those thoughts out of my mind by leaning down and kissing me passionately. He pushes me back on the bed more, then takes his cock from my grip and presses the blunt tip against the inside of my thigh. I pull him in with my legs, making him readjust a little until he settles the tip of his length against my slippery core. We both groan in unison as he pushes inside, stretching me out with each inch.
I grip his shoulders, my nails digging into his flesh. His brow furrows in concentration as he works his length all the way in. It’s a little uncomfortable for me, if I’m honest. Having so much weight crushed against me and being so intimately stretched out is awkward and almost painful.
But I trust Gabe; he has only brought me pleasure so far. If he says that I’ll like fucking, I undoubtedly will.
“God damn,” he murmurs. “You are so fucking tight, Luna.”
The reverent look on his face excites me. I provide something that he wants, which is new and exhilarating for me.
“Keep going,” I whisper.
He looks up at me, a sheen of sweat beginning to break across his forehead. He moves then, slowly pumping his cock in and out of me. I start to feel ripples of pleasure, tentative at first, then more and more certain.
Gabe takes my breast in one hand, plucking at the nipple. I start to move in time with him, rolling my hips. Little licks of flame start to unfurl themselves deep inside of me, stealing my breath away.
“Ohh,” I moan. Tossing my head back, I meet his cautious thrusts. He’s being careful with me, but I don't want that. “I want… more. Fuck me harder, Gabe.”
He stiffens for just a moment, then grabs my hips and pulls me up a few inches. He forgets his hesitant rhythm and starts hammering himself in and out of my pussy. My eyes widen for a second. He starts sweating in earnest, his sweat mixing with my own every single place that my fingers touch.
