Sylvia tilted her head to the side. Aaron loved when he could see that she was really trying to understand. She said, “Like when I eat too much pizza and my tummy doesn’t feel so good.”
Aaron grinned. “Yes, exactly like that.”
“Christy! Aaron!”
Aaron and Christy both looked up when they heard Jamie’s voice. He was racing breathlessly across the foyer. Sylvia shouted, “Uncle Jamie!”
Aaron frowned. He was glad that Jamie made it before everything was over for Christy and Sylvia’s sake, but Aaron didn’t want to see him at the moment. His feelings were too conflicted and seeing Jamie in person only made his stomach churn more.
Just as Jamie was reaching for Sylvia, the courtroom doors opened and the bailiff said, “We are ready to resume.”
The climax of the afternoon only took a few short minutes. The judge ruled completely in Christy’s favor. She awarded full permanent custody of Sylvia to Christy. In addition, she slapped a six month restraining order on Ethan forcing him to stay away from both Christy and Sylvia. The judge left open a reconsideration of supervised visitation rights if no violations of the restraining order happened in the ensuing six months.
Aaron smiled at Christy and gave her a massive hug. He said, “You won. You stood up to the bully and you won.” He glanced at Jamie as he said the words.
They all filed out into the foyer, and Christy suggested that everyone come to her place for celebratory ice cream. Sylvia clapped her hands when she heard the words “ice cream.”
Aaron said, “Christy, you take Sylvia home, and we’ll be there shortly. I need to talk to Jamie alone for a few minutes.”
Christy said, “Oh, of course.” Then she reached her hand down to take Sylvia’s and said, “Let’s go fancy things up a little before Uncle Jamie and Mr. Austin get there.”
Aaron pointed out the main doors of the courthouse as he looked at Jamie and said, “Let’s talk out there.”
As they descended the staircase in front of the courthouse, Jamie said, “I’m really sorry. I just totally spaced this out. You know how weird things have been at work. Today they told me I’m moving my office and changing my secretary. It was just another crazy day.”
Aaron pointed at a bench and said, “Sit.” Jamie followed the instruction and Aaron sat down next to him. Aaron rested his elbows on his knees and then placed his forehead in his hands. He said, “Jamie, this hurts, but I think my friends were right.”
“Your friends?” asked Jamie. “Right about what?”
“When I told them about getting married. Every single one of them thought we were rushing into it. They thought we needed to take more time. Now I think they were right.”
Jamie’s face took on a panicked expression. He said, “But I told you I was sorry. It’s unbelievable the stress I’ve had at work. I’ll get better. I promise.”
Aaron turned his head and fought to hold back tears. In a flat voice he said, “I love you Jamie. I really do. I love you with all of my heart, but I don’t love what comes with you.”
“What comes with me?” asked Jamie. “It’s just me, Aaron. What comes with me is just me.”
Aaron looked at the ground and said, “I don’t love the city. I don’t love the late nights of work. I don’t love you agreeing to do things that you think are wrong. I don’t love having to look for a new job. I’m happy here in Catlett’s Cove.”
After a long silence, Jamie asked, “Does that mean we’re breaking up?”
Aaron groaned and answered, “I don’t really know. I hope not. Like I said, Jamie, I know I love you, but I also have a whole circle of people here in town that love me, too. All I can really say right now is that it’s too early to get married. At least it’s too early for me. I need more time. I can’t be rushed.” He turned his head to look at Jamie and said, “Now I need to go. I have to congratulate Christy and Sylvia. They just won the biggest victory of their lives, and they deserve a celebration.”
23
Jamie
Jamie watched Aaron stand up. Even at the moment of what felt like a breakup, Aaron was handsome. Jamie wanted nothing more than to have Aaron turn back around and say he changed his mind. They could wrap each other in a big hug before kissing and making up. At least that’s the way it was supposed to happen according to movies.
Aaron didn’t turn around. He walked away. He took slow deliberate steps until he disappeared around the side of the courthouse headed for the parking lot.
Jamie lowered his head into his hands. He wanted to scream. His life was coming apart at the seams. He was grasping to hang on to his job, his home, his sister, niece and Aaron.
That’s when something happened. Later, Jamie said it really was a moment when the clouds parted and the weight lifted. It reminded him most of the Dr. Seuss moment when the Grinch’s heart suddenly grew. He didn’t know where the idea came from, but it made perfect sense as soon as he thought about it.
The one thing that Jamie decided he could get rid of which would allow him to keep everything else that he really loved was his job. He saw the pinched glare of Rupert Sheaves in his head, and his impulse was to tear the vision to shreds.
If Jamie let the job go, Aaron was certain to welcome him back. If he let the job go, he could hang on to his personal dignity. If he let the job go, Christy would offer him any help that he needed to get back on a better foot. He believed that Caleb might even celebrate Jamie’s personal liberation. Like Caleb said, Jamie had a real resume now, and he could look for a new job in Catlett’s Cove, the city, or wherever he decided to live with Aaron.
Jamie watched a young couple walk by on the street. It was a man and a woman. They were both smiling and talking in animated tones as they walked along. Just before passing in front of Jamie, they turned and kissed. Someday, he thought, that would be how he walked along the street with Aaron.
Aaron! He needed to catch up to Aaron. They needed to talk, and they needed to make decisions. Aaron was headed for Christy’s place. Jamie hauled himself off the bench and jogged to the parking lot. He hoped that he could catch Aaron while he was still hanging out with Christy and Sylvia. Then they could all hear about Jamie’s plans for the future.
Jamie pounded urgently on Christy’s door. When she answered, the look on her face told Jamie everything. Aaron did stop by, but he was already gone. He shared the breakup news, and Christy was already depressed.
She started to slam the door in Jamie’s face without any words, but he pressed hard and held the door open. “Wait, Christy. Aaron didn’t know the whole story.”
She stared into his eyes. Her own were glassy with tears. She said, “I’ll let you come in for five minutes. She held up all four fingers and her thumb. That’s all the time that I will give you to explain. Five minutes. Then you have to go.”
Jamie nodded and said, “I can explain in that amount of time.”
She opened the door wider, and Jamie stepped inside. Sylvia was busy watching a video. When she heard the noise, Sylvia turned her head and then quickly dashed across the room to cling to the back of one of Christy’s legs. Before Jamie could start to talk, Sylvia asked, “Why was Mr. Austin crying?”
Jamie looked at Christy. “He was crying?”
Sylvia said, “He was crying when he left. Did he hurt something, Mommy?”
Jamie whispered, “I’ve got a chance.”
Sylvia stepped out from behind Christy and asked, “Uncle Jamie, do you know why he was crying. I don’t like to see Mr. Austin cry.”
Jamie stared into Christy’s eyes. He asked, “Can I talk to Sylvia?”
Christy nodded yes. She said, “Please, talk to her, because I can’t talk to you.”
Jamie took Sylvia’s hand and led her back into the living room. He grabbed the remote control and turned the TV off. Jamie said, “Sylvia, sit here on the couch, and I’ll see if I can explain something to you.”
She climbed up on to the couch and Jamie squatted down to face her. He asked, “S
ylvia, have you ever wanted something really bad, like maybe ice cream? Are there things that you want so bad that you think you love them?”
She said, “I love ice cream, Uncle Jamie.”
“And what happens when you eat the ice cream, Sylvia?”
“It feels really good in my tummy.”
“And after that. How long does that last?” asked Jamie.
Sylvia shook her head. “Not very long. Then I want the ice cream again.”
Jamie nodded yes. He said, “Adults have things like that, too. We think we want things, and we want them so badly that we’re sure we love them. Then when we get them, we’re very excited about it but not for very long. Then we want something else because we want to feel all excited again. Sometimes we’ll do bad things that don’t make sense to get those things, too.”
“Like telling a fib?” asked Sylvia. “Mommy says it’s bad to tell a fib.”
Jamie nodded again. “Yes, exactly.” He asked Sylvia, “And do you have people that you love?”
Sylvia nodded vigorously. She said, “I love Mommy, Uncle Jamie, Mr. Austin, Mrs. Brown, my teacher, Jenny…”
Jamie smiled and interrupted saying, “Yes, many people to love. That’s wonderful Sylvia.” Then he asked, “How long does that last?”
“How long?” Sylvia looked confused. She said, “It’s always, Uncle Jamie. I don’t eat that like ice cream. It’s always there. I always love you and Mommy and Mr. Austin.”
Jamie nodded. He said, “That’s exactly right.” Then he added, “Mr. Austin is somebody I love, and it’s always there. It’s always right in here.” Jamie pounded his fist on his heart. “But I think right now Mr. Austin doesn’t think it’s always there.”
“Is that why he was crying?” asked Sylvia.
Jamie said, “Yes, I think so.”
Sylvia said, “He looked like he hurt himself, Uncle Jamie. Can you make that better? Like when Mommy puts a Band-Aid on my arm.”
Jamie nodded. “Yes, I think I can.”
“Go find him, Uncle Jamie. Make Mr. Austin not hurt anymore. I love Mr. Austin.”
Jamie reached out and hugged Sylvia tight. He said, “That’s exactly what I’m going to do.” He stood up and turned back toward Christy. She was wiping at her eyes.
Jamie embraced his sister in a big hug and whispered, “Don’t cry, big sis. It’s going to be okay. Now I know for sure that it will be okay.”
She buried her face in his neck and then gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Go, Jamie. Aaron’s home. I heard the door to his apartment close.”
24
Aaron
There was no better description for the sensation in Aaron’s head and throughout his body than numb. He cried at Christy’s before he left, but now Aaron wandered around his apartment devoid of feelings. Instead, he felt completely disconnected from the world around him.
He knew that he was right to say what he did to Jamie. He was finally honest about everything that was building up over the past weeks. The friends were right about moving too fast. Derek was right about how much Aaron disliked the idea of living in the city compared with staying in Catlett’s Cove. Aaron despised what Jamie was allowing his work to do to their relationship.
Aaron decided that he needed to retreat from the rest of the world for awhile and take care of himself. He could surround himself with movies, TV, guru Yoda, and delivery Chinese food and pizza if necessary. He could call in sick from work. Aaron had six weeks of vacation time built up that could be used.
Christy won her victory. Jamie had his job. Aaron needed to get a better grip on himself. Maybe in a few days he could venture out and have a meal with Thomas or Derek, but he didn’t need to rush anything. Aaron learned his lesson about rushing forward.
Aaron poured himself a glass of ice water and made his way to the living room. He sprawled out on the couch and grabbed the TV remote control. It was a perfect time to lose himself in old TV sitcoms and game shows. He wasn’t going to set a time for emerging into the world outside the door of his apartment. He decided that he might even watch TV for ten hours or more.
Then there was a knock at his door. Aaron was 90% certain that it was Jamie, but there was always a chance that it might be Christy or one of the other guys. He took a deep breath and considered whether he was up for seeing Jamie.
In just a few seconds, scenes from the past few months rushed before his eyes. The one thing they all had in common was Jamie’s face and the look that stared out at him from the computer screen in the very beginning. He was cityfox3, just one of many possible dates on Men2Date.
Aaron never turned his friends away when they needed him, and even in the middle of his efforts to lick his own wounds, he knew that he couldn’t start rejecting his friends. Aaron shouted, “Coming!” and then a few seconds later he opened the door.
Jamie was breathless when he said, “Aaron! Please, just give me five minutes to hear me out. I know that I’ve been a complete asshole, but I want to talk. Please let me talk, and then when five minutes is up, if you still want to walk, go right ahead. It’s your decision.”
Aaron tried to block out the instant flame of attraction that was lit once again like a pilot light in a gas stove, and he avoided listening to his first instinct to throw his arms around Jamie and give him a massive hug. Instead, Aaron led the way to his living room and pointed to an upholstered easy chair. “Sit there,” he ordered.
Jamie followed the instruction and then Aaron sat at the end of the couch furthest from the chair. Aaron nodded and said, “Five minutes. I’m listening.”
Jamie said, “Aaron, you were right about everything that you said. I’ve had my priorities completely screwed up. I understand that now. My job is the one thing standing in the way of everything else that is important to me.”
Jamie continued, “I let it get in the way of my relationship with you. I let it make me forget about Christy and Sylvia. I let it make me do things I would never do on my own, and I even let it get in the way of my social life with Caleb. I know how to deal with it now.”
Aaron clenched his teeth and asked, “How do you deal with it? It sounds to me like its demands are pretty high.”
Jamie said, “I’m leaving. Wednesday morning I’m turning in my two weeks notice. I’ve got enough money saved up to fund moving back to Catlett’s Cove and give myself a few months to look for a new job. I don’t have to be a slave to…”
Aaron raised an eyebrow and said, “Wait. You’re moving back to Catlett’s Cove?”
Jamie nodded and said, “Everyone who is important to me is here in the Cove, except for Caleb, and we can both handle the drive to visit each other. I understand now. I was trying to convince myself that I liked the city by surrounding myself with things that I liked. It was a stupid way to look at things, but those big checks can make someone like me do really stupid things.”
Aaron stared in silence and blinked his eyes.
“Most of all, Aaron, the job was getting in the way of what I want more than anything that I’ve ever wanted in the world, and that’s you.”
Aaron whispered, “You’re giving it all up…for me?”
“Two weeks notice…tomorrow. I have two months left on the current lease for the apartment, and then that is gone, too. All of that pales next to you in my arms, Aaron.”
Aaron looked into Jamie’s grey-green eyes. He wasn’t sure. It all seemed really sudden, and moving quickly was how he got himself into such a bad situation in the first place. He tried to look deeper beyond the surface of Jamie’s epiphany, but the gaze was an honest one. He couldn’t see any signs of something being hidden. Jamie’s leg wasn’t bouncing nervously, and he wasn’t fidgeting with his fingers. In fact, he looked more determined than Aaron ever saw in the past.
Aaron knew that he couldn’t just give up. He had to give Jamie at least a second try. He pulled himself up off the couch and walked across the room to Jamie’s chair. He squatted down and then leaned forward. Jamie mirrored his moti
ons and they shared a brief kiss. He whispered, “One more try, Jamie, and this time we take it slow.”
25
Jamie
Jamie looked at his phone. It was 2:00 a.m. He was now past the five hour mark hour of cuddling on the couch with Aaron watching old sitcoms on the TV. Jamie stretched out his arms and yawned. He asked, “Are you ready to go to bed, Aaron?”
Aaron changed the channel to a different show and said, “I told you back at the courthouse. I’m done with being rushed. I’m going to take things at my speed now. I refused to let you…”
Jamie cut off the words with a kiss. Then he pulled back and stared into Aaron’s dark brown eyes. He asked, “Do you really want to take things slow? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”
He watched Aaron blink three times in quick succession. He said, “Uh, yeah, that is what I said. It’s not that hard to understand, is it? We don’t need to rush. I’m not going to rush. Taking it slow is my new mantra.” Aaron pointed at the coffee table. “Even Yoda agrees.”
Jamie smiled and said, “I agree, too. I don’t want you to be rushed.” Then he unbuttoned the top button of Aaron’s shirt. “I can just start right here.” He slipped fingertips inside the shirt rubbing at the top of Aaron’s chest. Then he said, “But there is no rush.” He rolled back over and laid back against Aaron fixing his eye on the new show.
Aaron wrapped his arms around Jamie and bunched up Jamie’s shirt in one of his hands. He whispered in Jamie’s ear, “We don’t have to take it that slow.”
Jamie shook his head and said, “I don’t want to rush my man.”
It took nearly a half hour or a whole episode of a sitcom for Jamie to make his way to the final button on Aaron’s shirt. By the time he was there, the shirt was pushed up and off Aaron’s shoulders while Jamie let his tongue lazily work circles around Aaron’s right nipple. Aaron tangled Jamie’s hair tight with his fingertips and rolled his head slowly back. He moaned, “I think I’m ready for bed now.”
The Experiment Page 14
