***
Rashad breathed a huge sigh of relief once he pulled in Taz’s driveway, right behind him, when he noticed Kim’s truck parked out front. With her not answering the phone, he was glad to know that he wouldn’t have to scour the city searching for her ass.
Killing the ignition of his Benz, he eased out of it. Taz was already standing outside of his Maserati, waiting on him.
Taking a nice stretch, Taz yawned. “Taraj gotta be fucking drunk, man. I’m already knowing. I can clearly hear music coming from my backyard and that explains why her ass aint answering the phone. She know them fucking neighbors don’t like that shit. I’m surprised they haven’t called the laws on her ass.”
Rashad shook his head. “What could they be doing in the backyard this time of night? Aint the kids here?”
“Nah. They at Josh’s. So, Taraj got some free time on her hands. We was supposed to be chilling today, but she came changing plans, talking about she needed to be there for Kim and shit. But I aint know they had all this shit going on.”
“Right. They blindsided everybody today. Without a doubt.”
“Hell, yeah,” Taz scratched his head. “But shit, let’s head in this house, man.”
Rashad nodded in agreement, before following Taz inside. Traveling through the house it was clear to see that Taraj and Kim had been big chilling. They’d left behind a small mess in the living room, including food and open alcohol containers.
Sliding the door open to the backyard, Taz stepped outside. Rashad was right behind him and was immediately impressed. The backyard seemed to be romantically designed, as the pool was glowing from the lights underneath. The hot tub also had illuminating lights, he noticed, while the Jacuzzi’s jets were going full blast, causing the water to bubble. Oddly enough, Taraj nor Kim were in plain sight.
“I've tried to change but they always around, pulling me down in bed. Gave you my word but they were just broken promises. Broken condoms, lipstick marks and unprotected sex. I feel like shit, you know I ain't shit.” Chris Brown’s voice crooned from the wireless speakers.
Taz frowned, as he glanced around. “The fuck they at?”
Rashad tapped his shoulder, as he spotted a pair of feminine feet dangling off a sunbed on the other side of the pool. For whatever reason the sunbed was facing the fence, obstructing their full view. “Their drunk asses must’ve passed out over there.”
Taz chuckled. “Typical fuck shit, huh?”
“Hell, yeah,” Rashad laughed.
“Come on,” Taz signaled with his head, before ambling towards the sunbed.
“I'm just a typical ordinary nigga. But I know that I can't change the rules. All this time I blamed you 'cause I know what I'm doing. Stepping on your heart again, relationship ruined. I tried to change but I'm always out, fucking around in the club. Pieces of my love letter tore up from this break up. My worst nightmare went right in my back, I wish I could wake up. I feel like shit, know I ain't shit but I'm…sorry.”
As the two guys approached the sunbed, it became apparent that someone was lying with their legs wide open, while another was between those legs. With the music serving as their soundtrack, what Taraj and Kim were partaking in couldn’t be mistaken. Taraj’s round fat naked ass was tooted up, while her face was buried between Kim’s thighs. Kim was seemingly in absolute heaven, as she lied with her eyes closed, while clutching her own breasts. Taraj was vicious in her assault on her clit, as she nastily darted her tongue across it, professionally.
“Man, you done lost your muthafuckin’ mind, Taraj!” Taz’s voice boomed.
Abruptly, Taraj and Kim scrambled apart and climbed to their feet.
Kim was now hyperventilating at the sight of both Taz and Rashad.
Rashad’s chest heaved up and down, as he stood in disbelief. “But you’s a good God-fearing bitch, though, Kim?”
Right then, Kim didn’t know what to say. “Where, where’s my clothes?” she nervously looked around.
Rashad looked at her with utter disgust. “Your clothes? Bitch, is you for real? Is that all your nasty, hoe ass gon say?”
“Taraj, is you fucking stupid?!” Taz barked. “What’s the fucking rule? What’s the fucking golden rule?!”
Both Taraj and Kim helplessly gazed at one another, infuriating both men.
“Nah, fuck that!” Taz spat, grabbing Taraj’s hand, yanking her away from Kim. “Don’t look at her. I’m talking to you. What’s our golden rule, Taraj?”
Rashad stepped in front of Kim. “The fuck you steady looking at her for? Yall in love?”
Tears slipped from Kim’s eyes, as her bottom lip trembled. “No.”
“What’s the fucking golden rule, Taraj?!” Taz pressed.
“Never fuck close to home,” Taraj finally answered with tight lips.
Taz bucked his eyes. “Okay, so, what the fuck is this?!”
Taraj sniffed. “A mistake.”
Taz shook his head. “Nah, I aint buying that shit. Hell nah. You knew exactly what the fuck you was doing.”
Taraj sighed heavily. “See, I can’t talk to you, right now. You’re too mad, right now. I’m going in the house.” She attempted to walk away. Unfortunately, he snatched her back.
“You aint going no muthafuckin’ where!” Taz barked. “We gon deal with this shit now! How long yall been fucking?!”
Hearing the intensity in Taz’s voice didn’t sit right with Kim, so she wanted to get the hell out of dodge. The situation was much too volatile, and she felt that there needed to be some space between them, before things reached a boiling point. Therefore, she jogged around Rashad, and headed back into the house.
By the time Rashad caught up with her in the living room, she’d managed to throw on her Nike leggings and tee.
“So, you aint even gonna try and explain yourself?” he wanted to know.
She took a deep breath. “Rashad, we were drunk, and things just went too far. That’s it. It’s really not that deep. I apologize if you feel like I disrespected you.”
He tilted his head. “Come again. So, you think that me just catching you with another woman aint that deep, Kim? You fucking cheated!”
“But she’s a girl!”
“And?!”
Frustrated, she clutched her forehead. “Rashad, in my mind, I really didn’t think that I was doing something all that bad. Honestly.”
“And that within itself tells me more than you think. I’m finally seeing you for the hoe you are. This situation just showed me that you aint shit. Definitely aint somebody I wanna come home to. I can’t trust you. Around my partners or your own friends. Where can we go from here, Kim?”
Something became clogged in her throat. For several moments, she stood staring at him, crossed on what she should feel. On one hand, perhaps she had betrayed him, however, on the other, he wasn’t appearing exactly squeaky clean his damn self. He’d hurt her to the core. More times than she could count. But now he wanted to talk about not being able to trust her, anymore. The nerve! “You know what, Rashad? I guess we can’t go nowhere.”
“Exactly.” He nodded. “So, you be good, man. This shit is a wrap.”
***
It took fourteen days for reality to sink in for Kim. She’d gone home and played hard, swearing that it was what it was. The fate of her relationship didn’t matter. She was good, regardless. That was the lie she’d told herself, and she’d bought into it, for a while. However, now two weeks in, she was seeing things for what they were.
It all became apparent to her last Sunday, when Kay gathered her kids, and met with Rashad. He’d actually had a visitation with their children. Away from the home he’d purchased for them to reside in. Not only that, but for two weeks, he’d been resting his head elsewhere. He’d also removed a majority of his clothing from the home. He’d had zero interactions with Kim, and she wanted desperately to feel unaffected by it, but that couldn’t be the furthest from the truth.
With each passing day, Kim could find less resolve.
Nothing about this situation seemed right. This didn’t read like something that was supposed to end and be released. In her eyes, that would be equivalent to dropping a live wire into a pool of water. It would be dangerous for anyone brave enough to enter.
Perhaps Taraj had gotten in her head, confusing her. She’d talked about being ready to go off into the world without Rashad, but that had been complete and utter bullshit. If anything, she hadn’t been dealing with what she felt at heart. At the core of her, she was still deeply in love with Rashad. Things between them had just gotten so crazy, and she’d conditioned herself to deal with things in such toxic ways that maybe she’d caused irreversible damage. And now she felt lost and incredibly lonely.
Sitting in her Audi, she shed silent tears, as she thought about what she wanted to do. Staring at her cell, she considered everything that had taken place within the past few months. She knew that she’d been far from perfect, but Rashad had been an asshole as well. And that within itself baffled her. He’d switched up on her abruptly with no plausible explanation, after being so good to her. A part of her felt that she deserved answers, while there was also another side that questioned if she’d done absolutely everything to salvage her relationship. She’d seen enough to know that the world wasn’t filled with guys like Rashad, and when it was good with them…she hadn’t seen too many who were better.
Deciding that she’d put her pride to the side, she called Rashad’s phone for the first time, since everything had transpired. Butterflies brewed in the pit of her stomach, as she listened to his line ring.
“Hello?” he picked up with the usual rap music in the background, indicating that he was in his car.
“Hey, are you busy?” she questioned.
“Uh,” he hesitated. “Why, what’s up?”
“I need to speak to you.”
“Okay. I’m listening.”
“No,” she sighed. “Not over the phone, Rashad. We need to speak face to face.”
He sucked his teeth. “Aye, Ion know about all that. I got shit to handle.”
“And I understand that. But I just really need a little of your time.”
“I hear you, but I got money to make—”
“That’ll never change I see,” she scoffed, before catching herself. “Look, let me stop. Rashad, I know that you’re out there hustling. I know that you have better things to do with your time. I understand all of that. I’m really not trying to intrude on your life like that, okay. I’d just like to discus some things with you today. Please,” her voice cracked. “If that’s not too much to ask for.”
He gulped. “Alright, man. I’ll be at the house in a ‘lil bit.”
“I’m not at the house,” she let him know.
“Then where you at?”
“At the place you told me to come and meet you, to see if we had anything worth saving. Remember?”
He paused briefly. Then, “Hermann park?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” he breathed. “Give me like 20 minutes.”
“Okay,” she agreed, before ending the call.
For twenty minutes, Kim attempted to mentally prepare herself for Rashad. Frankly, she’d halfway expected him to answer for her, and was really pushing her luck when she asked to speak to him in person. She really thought that he’d eventually brush her off and was still low-key thinking that he might not show, until he pulled up right beside her. Her heart nearly leapt out of her chest when she saw him ease out of his Rover. Dressed down in merely a white tee and Nike joggers, he was still a walking picture of perfection, as she noticed a new gold bottom grill lining his teeth. The top of his hair was neatly braided, and he’d been freshly lined up. Crazily, she could recall a time where she’d have to drag him down to the barbershop. Clearly, those days were long gone, as he now frequented the barber sometimes twice a week.
Stepping up to her truck, Rashad tapped on her window, signaling her to hop out. Taking her time, Kim stepped out of the truck. She then had to readjust her clothes, as her Chanel printed shorts had risen between her thick thighs. Rashad looked her up and down, paying close attention to the length of the shorts.
Glancing up, Kim caught the look in his eyes, but chose not to address it. “Hey.”
“What’s up?” he replied.
“Nothing,” she sighed, as she gradually headed towards the sidewalk.
He followed her. Together they strolled through the park, glancing around at the ducks, trees, ponds, and kids with their parents, while saying nothing. Eventually, Rashad broke the silence.
“So, what’s been going on, man?”
Kim stared straight ahead, as she rubbed the back of her neck. “Honestly, I’ve been stressing like hell.”
“Yeah, well, that makes two of us. This shit is crazy. I’m all fucked up, man. I can’t even lie.”
She cleared her throat. “Look, Rashad, I’ve had time to think about some things, and I really want you to know that I wasn’t trying to backstab you. I really saw what I was doing one way, and if you feel like I violated our relationship in any form, then I am sooo sorry about that,” her voice trembled.
Rashad frowned, pausing in the middle of the sidewalk. “I mean, am I supposed to stand here and hug you or some shit?”
“What?” Kim scowled in disbelief.
“You fucking heard me,” he curled his lips. “I aint finna do this bullshit with you, Kim.”
“What you mean?” she opened her arms. “Do what with me?”
“Play stupid with you,” he clarified. “This would be a completely different story if we had never covered certain shit. You could play ignorant to the fact. But this aint that, baby. We already discussed that shit!” he exploded. “I fucking told you that I aint wanna fuck you and another bitch. Remember?”
Slowly, she nodded.
“Okay, then. I told you that I aint wanna fucking share.” He slammed his fist into his palm. “That was period. So, how the fuck do you think I’d be alright with a bitch licking your pussy?!”
“Shhh,” Kim hissed, as she frantically glanced around.
“Oh, so, you embarrassed, huh? You’on want nobody to know about your dyking escapades, huh?” he got in her face. “But you wasn’t shame when you let her lick that pussy, though. Your hot ass busted them legs wide open for her. Shit, you aint never had them legs spread like that for me!”
Kim’s heart dropped down to her toes, as he spoke to her that way. “Oh, but I guess you’re the angel, right?”
“Nah,” he shook his head. “And I never claimed to be. But I aint never pumped fake like your ass, neither.”
She nodded, as she stepped back a few feet. “Oh, wow, okay.”
“Damn, sweetheart, can I be your friend?” some random college aged black guy grabbed Kim’s hand. The guy was shirtless and had a chocolate chiseled chest, which was dripping in sweat. It was evident that he’d been jogging through the park, when he spotted something he liked.
“The fuck?” Rashad growled, as he lifted his shirt, ready to grab his pistol.
Seeing that was enough to deter Kim’s suitor, who quickly dashed off.
Kim’s head was too wrapped up in her and Rashad’s argument to really process what had taken place with the guy.
Rashad’s nostrils flared. “This is the shit I’m fucking talking about!”
“What?” she looked at him confusingly.
“You see the fucking energy you put out there? That nigga came out of nowhere and thought that it was cool to fucking touch you! That’s all I hear these days. ‘Nigga, you got the baddest bitch around. Kim fine. Kim pretty. Kim sexy. Kim got that fucking weave down to her fucking ass. Kim got them fucking shorts all in her fucking ass!’” he gritted. “Look at you! Ion know when this false shit ends and the real you begins. All these fucking lashes and clip-ins,” he carried on.
“Wait, wait,” she halted him. “Since when is it wrong to look good?”
He frowned. “Do you hear yourself, man? When I got with you it
was because I swore that you was different from the rest of these hoes out here. It was about your heart. Your loyalty. Your spirit. Not what was fucking between your legs or your outer appearance! That shit was just the bonus! I could always do without it!” he belted. “Every fucking day you get primped up to do nothing! Every time I look up, you in the fucking mirror. You posting another fucking picture. This aint the bitch I fell for! I don’t know this person, right here. You just something good to suck and fuck on. Your only concerns are shopping, eating dick, and bopping! Then got the nerve to complain about me being in the streets. Yet in all this fucking time, I aint seen you try to channel nan dime into a legitimate investment. In fact, you don’t do shit! Besides pawn our kids off on your auntie and mama!”
Kim’s jaw dropped. “Are you fucking serious, right now? Who the fuck are you to judge me? If I’m pawning the kids off, then nigga, you aint a parent at all, cause you don’t do shit! Spending money don’t count! Yeah! The fuck is you saying? You don’t wanna go there. That bitch Kass is getting all of your time, regardless of what’s going on with her. So, you might as well be fucking her! And don’t give me that shit about yall just working together, because the bitch is too involved in your personal business. You should’ve done business with somebody you didn’t have a past with!”
“Bitch, how the fuck are you gonna speak on that, and you was just letting the plug’s wife suck on your pussy? Huh?!” he barked, causing her to jump. “That was some shit that should’ve never happened! And then let’s not forget the fact that you was laid up butt ass naked in the next man’s house! Taz shouldn’t know how the fuck you look without clothes, Kim!” he seethed. “And just think. Shit could’ve gone completely different. That man could’ve easily come home alone, and we don’t know how he would’ve reacted without me standing right there. He could’ve peeled you cap back, or stuck dick to you! And what’s fucked up is that I don’t know! I don’t know who to trust or what you’re capable of.”
“Oh, so, I guess that I’m the biggest hoe around, now?” Kim posed, furiously.
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