Chapter 20
“My nigga, you out of line for this apartment, dog,” Bogus clamored as he glanced around Rashad’s place.
Rashad paused, as he stood in front of his refrigerator. “What you mean?”
Bogus bucked his eyes, as he stood in the middle of the empty living room. “Nigga, you heard me. All you got in this bitch is your kids’ play pen, strollers, and highchairs. Where the fuck is the furniture?”
Rashad shrugged, as he retrieved a bottle of water. “I aint got around to buying none yet.”
“I’m saying, man. You aint even got a fucking TV,” Bogus pointed out.
“So, that’s what I got my phone for.”
Bogus chuckled to himself. “Aye, if it’s that bad and you aint trying to make this your home, then just say that, cause this shit is ridiculous.”
“I mean, Ion really like this apartment like that,” Rashad claimed, as he leaned up against the wall.
“Okay, why haven’t you tried to find something better, then?”
Once again, Rashad shrugged.
Bogus shook his head. “Nigga, just gon and say it. You wanna go home. I aint gon judge you. I promise. Just admit it. You thought that you wanted to run these streets 24/7 like we used to, but you see this shit aint what it’s cracked up to be. And now your lame ass confused on what’s your place in this world.”
“Nigga, fuck you,” Rashad grumbled. “But on some real shit, everything is starting to look different to me. Somewhere along the line, I got the shit that I was trying to get, you know? In the process, I done lost everything else, in the meantime. So, the shit don’t even feel good. Aint no way I was supposed to do all this hustling, just to end up in this empty ass apartment, with my kids clear across the city. Shit wasn’t supposed to go like this, man. Even with Kim. How the fuck she finally start making the right moves, after I leave? What fucking sense do that make, when I was telling her that if she could invest the money, then I could slow my roll? All I wanted was a cash flow. Some damn guarantees. But she don’t do shit, until a nigga aint there.”
Bogus rubbed the side of his face. “Say, don’t take this the wrong way, main, but if she didn’t make the right moves, until you left, then you have to ask yourself why. I bet it’s the man in the mirror.”
Rashad frowned. “Say what now.”
“I’m saying, man. You know that you was taking that girl through some changes, Rashad. Maybe it was because you was fucked up in the head and didn’t know how to express that, but you dragged her ass through the mud. Lil’ mama dropped weight. All kinds of shit. As a man, you didn’t lead. So, she was probably following you, and yall was both lost. And once you walked away, you removed the distractions. She was able to focus on other shit and make things happen. That probably could have happened while you was there, if you was providing the mental space for her to think freely. But that can’t happen, if she’s running behind you, for one reason or another. I don’t know. At least that’s what my BM told me, after she left my ass. I aint been able to get her back since.”
For that, Rashad had nothing further to say, except, “Damn.”
***
“We started off as close friends. Close friends. Somehow you turned into my girlfriend. My girlfriend. We used to tell each other everything. Everything.
I even went and bought her diamond rings, matching earrings. Everything was so cool. So cool. Lately baby been actin' so rude. Been so rude. I don't know what somebody told you. What they told you. But I ain't gon' lie, I miss the old you
I know you remember how I would hold you. Still remember how I approached you. I think I loved you 'fore I knew you.”
Rashad was leaning hard in his Rover, bobbing his head to the music. Kim was on his mind heavily, as he contemplated dry swinging by his house just to see her face.
Kass rode shotgun and didn’t attempt to conceal the fact that she was blatantly staring at him.
In a daze, he rapped along to Lil’ Baby. “Just wipe your eyes and stop this cryin'. I told the truth, that I'd been lyin'. I gave you racks, I tried to buy in.
I even did the unthinkable, and I'm sorry for what I did to you.”
Kass shook her head. “Nigga, you sad. That bitch aint thinking about you.”
Bogus chuckled from the backseat. “Girl, fall back, before your lil’ ass turn green from all that fucking jealousy flowing through your veins. If that man wanna be in his chest about his BM, then let him. That’s his business.”
Kass rolled her eyes. “Nigga, fuck you. It’s my birthday, and yall said the night was about me, right?”
“True,” Bogus agreed, since they were headed to club Plush on her behalf, after all.
“Okay, then.” she switched the song, and began filming herself on her Instagram.
“Oh shit, gotdammit she flexin’ now. Bet them bands make her feel real sexy now. Freak wit it, she a real professional. Take her out and have my other hoes stressin' now. Got em sick, sick. When they see me with my new bitch. I got em sick, sick. When they see me with my new bitch. Got all my other hoes sick, sick.”
Bogus gripped the bridge of his nose, recognizing a strategic move when he saw one. He’d been trying to hip Rashad to women’s manipulation through social media, but he was seemingly slow at catching on. Kass was clearly creating a narrative online, primarily for Kim to see, and Rashad was none the wiser.
“Say, girl, you better not post that shit on the Gram,” Bogus spoke up.
Kass abruptly ended her recording, and glanced back at him. “Excuse you?”
“You heard me. Every time you post a video, you cause a setback for my nigga, and I’m getting fed up with the shit. He trying to go home, and you fucking his chances up.”
“Wait, what?” Rashad glimpsed over his shoulder. “When you heard me say that?”
Bogus waved him off. “I aint have to hear you say shit. I know what I know. So, I’m checking Kass’ ass for you. She need to hear the truth.”
Kass grimaced. “Nigga, please. You just mad cause Ion wanna fuck your thot ass. You got me fucked up.”
“Mad?” Bogus sucked his teeth. “I could never be. Do you know how much pussy I get? Yeah, I tried to fuck a few times. Shit, I’ma dog. That’s what I do. That’s you if you put that thang on lock for this nigga. Shit probably got dust on it.”
Rashad breathed. “Alright, yall chill out. We finna roll up in the spot and enjoy ourselves. That’s it. So, quit the bullshit.”
After the general had spoken his piece, nothing further needed to be discussed. They marched into Plush and cut the hell up. Kass had a few bottles of D’Usse and kept talking about driving the boat. They were downing the cognac like it was water.
Trap karaoke night couldn’t have been a better night to celebrate on. It was organically a popular night, which was perfect for Kass. With the set-up everyone would have their cells out, doing her dirty work for her. Kim and all her minions would know exactly how Rashad’s time was spent.
Initially, Kass thought that the night of Rye’s man’s club’s grand opening would be their coming out party, but things didn’t pan out her way. That time had been Rashad’s most generous, regarding her. There had been hope for them, in her eyes. Especially that night. His disdain for Kim was at an all-time high. Therefore, he allowed Kass to have it her way, which included sliding right into his lap for the world to see. She did this with full knowledge of Kim being present in the club. Rashad knew it too, and that was enough to convince Kass that they had something real going. So, that night she dropped to her knees and sucked the skin off his dick, before he drunkenly passed out. Soon after, they had a routine developed. She’d suck him off, hoping that he’d break her back in, like he’d once do when they were younger. Unfortunately, as time coasted on, she feared that they’d never elevate beyond this point, which was why she’d drive herself crazy with matters of Kim.
By the end of the night, Rashad found himself back at Kass’ spot. She’d surpassed drunk, and he’d walked her insi
de, ensuring that she made it inside safely, and now she didn’t want to let him leave.
“Rashad,” she leaned into his face, blowing her hot breath into his face, as they sat on her couch. “I will cross the ocean for you,” she sang drunkenly. “I will go and bring you the moon. I will be your hero, your strength, anything you need.
I will be the sun in your sky. I will light your way for all time.”
“Man,” he drawled. “You tripping.”
“No, I’m not. That’s how you make me feel, baby. That’s what I should’ve sung to you tonight. Let these hoes know what it is.”
“What it is?” he furrowed his brows. “What you mean?”
“You know. That you mine,” she declared.
“Aye, that liquor got you talking crazy, I see. You know it aint like that, Kass.”
She frowned. “It aint like what?”
“Come on, man. Don’t make me say it,” he sighed, really trying not to hurt her feelings.
“No, I need to hear this, because you on some other shit, right now. You done been in this pussy too many times to count. And not to mention all the babies I been swallowing around this bitch, lately.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I fucked you years ago.”
“Yeah, I know!”
“But what that got to do with right now?”
“So, I haven’t sucked your dick recently, Rashad?”
“You have…and that shit was a mistake.”
Kass’ heart dropped down to her toes. “What?”
“I shouldn’t have let you do that shit, man. That was wrong of me. Especially as I’m sitting here realizing what I’m really doing to you. This shit aint cool, and for that I apologize.”
“Wait, wait, what are you saying to me, right now, Rashad?” she adjusted herself in the couch.
“I’m saying that I’m out of line for giving you the wrong impression, Kass. I honestly don’t see you like that. I can’t even bring myself to fuck you. Shit, I can’t bring myself to fuck nobody. Ion want to, either.”
“Oh, so, you scared of pussy?”
He smirked. “Man, come on, go pull that shit on a lesser nigga. You can’t play on my manhood over here, baby. I know what it is. If I was to give you this dick, you’d love every inch of it. We know this. But I can’t. Cause I still love Kim. My shit only gets hard when I think about fucking her. I can’t explain it. That’s just where I’m at mentally. And now I’m just accepting that that’s where I wanna be. I wanna go home, man. Still, I feel bad for holding you up. Cause I’m getting the impression that you waiting on a nigga, and Ion want you to do that. You’ll fuck around and wait forever. Don’t do that to yourself, Kass. I can’t have that on my conscience.” He stood to leave. “I gotta go, man. Hit me up tomorrow. We gotta discuss how this shit finna go, moving forward. I gotta put some distance between us, because like Bogus said, I’m tryna go home. And I know that Kim aint gon be comfortable with your presence,” he yawned. “And since I know you got bills to pay and shit, you might wanna stay in line. Don’t piss her off. Cause if she get to tripping too much, then business ties will just be severed. So, you decide how you wanna do this shit.”
***
“This bitch wanna play with me? Oh, I got his ass,” Kim whispered to herself, as she gazed at her reflection in the mirror.
“Aye, you alright in there?” Lickz knocked on the bathroom’s door.
She continued to stare at herself, as if the answer to his question was there in that mirror. Wearing a simple, spandex, sleeveless black dress with no underwear underneath, she’d come prepared to fuck, but was now there, trying to talk herself into it. After receiving the DMs about Kass’ Instasnap, she was well within her rights to do whatever she pleased, so what the hell was wrong with her?
“Kim,” Lickz knocked again.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yeah, I’m alright. Here I come, right now,” she sighed, before turning to pull the door open.
“’Bout time,” he smiled. “I was beginning to believe that you had drowned or some shit.”
She squeezed past him, brushing her breasts against him. “No, nothing like that.”
He squinted. “Are you alright?”
She sighed heavily, as she sat at the foot of his bed. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
“You sure? Cause it don’t seem that way.”
Tucking her lips into her mouth, she nodded.
Ambling over to her, he peered down at her. “Don’t lie to me.” he gently stroked her chin, causing her to gaze up at him.
From where she sat, Lickz resembled a work of art. He was shirtless and his hard abs were right in her face. The man was literally like a breathing orgasm, and there was no reason that she shouldn’t seize this opportunity to selfishly indulge. So, when he knelt to kiss her, she let him.
Sensually, he eased his tongue into her mouth. He took his time, exploring her mouth, allowing her to relax. Without realizing it, she lied on her back. Lickz moved right with her, slickly cuffing a boob, before stroking a nipple. Gradually, her eyes closed, and he eased the front of her dress down, revealing one of her breasts. The cool air from his ceiling fan caused her nipple to instantly pebble. Wasting no time, he broke their kiss to wrap his lips around her nipple. Instead of opening the flood gates, that move snapped Kim back to reality. She pulled away from him and sat up.
“I’m sorry, Lickz. I can’t do this,” she breathed.
“What’s the problem?” he panted. “Was I being too rough?”
“No, you were doing everything right. It has nothing to do with that,” she claimed. “I’m just here for all the wrong reasons, honestly.”
“What?” he frowned, as he sat on the bed.
She clutched her forehead. “Lord, I can’t believe that I’m about to say this.”
“Say what?” he wanted to know.
“I like you, Lickz. I really do. And for that reason, I won’t be wasting anymore of your time.”
He gulped, as he sat there listening to her.
“I came here tonight to fuck you, because I was mad at Rashad. But I just realized that that’s not how I want to do this. If I was to ever lay down with you, then I’d want it to be because I want you. That’s it. No other reason. Anyway, it’s clear that I got unresolved shit going on with my baby daddy, and it’s unfair to you, for me to try to dump all that on you. I need to go and deal with that first. And if somebody has snatched your fine ass up by the time my baggage is wrapped up, then that’ll be my loss. But I gotta handle my scandal first. I apologize.”
Lickz cracked a smile. “Girl, you just don’t know. This shit just made me want to fuck you even more. You actually got some principles. I fucks with that. And I respect what you saying. Go back and make your lil’ family work. I mean, it’s a good look. I aint mad at cha.”
She shook her head. “I never said all that. I just have to properly end some things—”
He sucked his teeth. “Girl, watch out. Don’t talk to me like I’m crazy. I know what it is.”
“No, clearly, you don’t.” she sassily twisted her neck. “That nigga was just posted up at Plush with another bitch—”
“Kass?”
“Yeah, how you know?”
Lickz stroked his waves. “Yeah, as I was saying. You make sure that nigga knows that he got himself a real one, and he better not fuck up this time around. Cause if he slips up again, you aint coming back. That’s a promise.”
Chapter 21
What does loving Rashad equal? So many fucking tears! That’s what! And I’m fucking tired!
That was the text message Rashad received from Kim at five in the morning, along with a screen shot of the video Kass had recorded from the passenger’s side of his Rover.
Ironically, Rashad had already decided that he was going home that day, so this had unquestionably thrown a monkey wrench in his plans. Still, he refused to be at odds for another day, so he hopped in his Rover, and headed to his home at seven in the morning, ready to deal wi
th Kim and whatever crazy thoughts she had racing through her head.
When he reached his house, he quietly tipped through it, not wanting to wake anyone. After traveling up to his bedroom, he attempted to enter, only to find that the door was locked.
Huffing impatiently, he knocked. “Kim, open the door.”
He stood waiting, and when he didn’t hear anything, he knocked again. “Kim.”
Eventually, he heard her stomp over. “What?”
“What chu mean? Open the door, girl,” he snapped.
“No,” she responded faintly.
“No?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Why I can’t come into my own room, Kimberly?”
“Your own room? You don’t live here, anymore. You forgot?”
“No, I aint forget nothing. This aint never stopped being my room.”
“Oh, nigga please. You can miss me with that. Say what you want, but you aint getting in here!”
“And why is that?”
“What the fuck you wanna come in for?”
“Cause I wanna talk about this text you sent to my phone.”
“Aint nothing to discuss. I said what I said.”
“But you said what you said for what, though?”
“What do you mean?” she sucked her teeth. “You aint fucking stupid. I shouldn’t have to spell it out to you.”
“Kim, I drove all the way over here, and I’m talking through a fucking door, man. Stop beating around the fucking bush. Tell me what the fucking problem is,” he demanded.
“WHY WAS YOU WITH THAT BITCH KASS FOR HER BIRTHDAY?!” she exploded, hitting the door.
Rashad tucked his lips into his mouth, listening to her lose her mind on the other side of the door. Right then, he realized that it was probably for the best that she wouldn’t open up for him, otherwise, she’d probably be going upside his head.
When she simmered down, he finally spoke up. “In hindsight, I’m realizing that that probably wasn’t a good idea, so I apologize.”
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