by Lee Quail
“I have no idea what this person wants to do with the place.”
“You tell your anonymous buyer thanks, but no thanks. All these people have families and homes. I’m obligated to pay them. I will not let them down.”
“I’ll leave these papers with you., Study them. If there’s anything in here you don’t understand, call me.”
After Bradshaw left, Curisco poured himself another glass of milk from his office fridge and with shaking hands, flipped through the documents.
His door opened and Raw walked in.
“You don’t knock. You just walk in?” Curisco said, glaring at him.
“There’s something we need to discuss,” Raw said.
“It couldn’t wait until after work?”
“Nope.”
“If it’s so important, carry on. Pour yourself a glass of milk.” Curisco continued reading. Raw refused and remained standing. He dreaded this Judas moment.
“I want to buy out of my contract with you. It’s been a long time coming, dad…”
“You want to what?”
“You heard me.”
“No. No. Repeat what you said. I want to understand you correctly.”
“I want to buy out of my contract with you. I want to start a gym of my own.”
Curisco slammed his fist onto the desk. Raw flinched. “You want to buy out of your contract?” he laughed.
“I want to start my own boxing gym.”
“You want to start your own gym,” Curisco repeated.
“Yes.”
For a moment Raw thought Curisco wanted to smack him from the look on his face.
“And you think I am going to release you from your contract.”
“I have the money to buy myself out.”
Curisco couldn’t afford to lose his best heavyweight.
“I’m tired of fighting, Dad. I don’t have the passion I once had.”
“There is more to this decision than you’re telling me. You don’t make this kind of decision overnight. You must have planned this for a while. I’m your father and I will decide when your contract is up. Until then, you stay put.”
“Dad, are you hearing me? I’ve lost four fights. I’m exhausted.”
“And you’ve won 26. You’re three fights away from being the national heavyweight champion and you want to throw in the towel. Are you crazy? Do you know what this will do to me?”
Raw kept quiet.
“It will be the end of this gym. This gym I built up from nothing. It’s my legacy to you. One day when I’m gone, all this and more is yours. You will live like a king, Raw. If you insist on buying out your contract, well, let’s just say I have a will, but you’ll get nothing.”
“The fights are killing me, Dad.”
“These fights allow you to live a life of luxury. It allows me to look after your Momma and give her the life she has always wanted. You want it all to end?”
“No.”
“Then stop this silliness of yours. My answer is no. I won’t allow you to buy out of your contract.”
“If this is how you want to play then I’ll be forced to involve the courts.”
“Courts? Did I hear you say courts? You should be ashamed of yourself. I brought you up. I gave you the lifestyle you live. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be in a snazzy shnazzy apartment and driving a snazzy shnazzy car, something I can’t even afford. I made you a success! I drove you to boxing stardom and this is the thanks I get!”
“I’m tired of all this, Dad. I’m tired. Don’t you see?”
“Then take a holiday! Go to the beach and find yourself a woman for Christ sake, but I never want to hear you’re tired. I didn’t bring you up to be a quitter.”
***
Edward’s anger had risen to breakpoint, not because he had equalized against Raw, but because he had allowed the fight to happen in the first place. The more he thought about it, the more he realized for some or the other reason, fate had decreed he and Raw would eventually cross paths in Curisco’s gym. After dropping Angie off, he turned off the main road and stopped the car, stared at the veld and blocked out the noise of the late afternoon traffic coming off the highway. He sank his head into the palms of his hands. Raw played first fielder in his mind. Everything he had done in his life had led to meeting Raw.
Edward came out at the age of 17. Not by choice, but a gradual awareness girls did nothing for him. He enjoyed watching boys playing rugby and track and field events. On a personal level, he had achieved Victor Ludorum in boxing, smacked up a few hefty beefcakes and sure, lost a few fights during his high school years, but most were won fair and square.
Girls loved his company. Preferred to sit with him during breaks, shared their lunch with him, and enjoyed playing childish word games and pranks. But the first time he had sex, Joe, his best friend, found the courage to invite him.
Joe: Wanna come over to my place after school? Mom out for the day.
Edward: Sure thing. Nothing planned. See you at South Gate in an hour.
Joe lived two blocks from the school. A quick walk. He invited Edward into his room and began removing his uniform. Stripped down to his red undies. The outline of his private part dangled limply, resting neatly alongside his scrotum.
“I know you’re always around girls at school, and I know you’re into boxing. And you could beat me to a pulp, but I need to ask you a personal question.”
“Go ahead. I can’t promise I won’t beat you up though,” he laughed.
“How do I put this? Best to come right out and ask. Are you gay?”
The question took Edward by surprise. He had never been asked. “You don’t have to answer. Just know that I like you.”
Edward slowly removed his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. “Is this why you invited me over today?”
“It’s unbearable not knowing. I know a few guys at school who are like me, including the deputy head boy. I haven’t had anything to do with them though.” He removed his shoes and socks and unbuckled his belt. A “likely” story. Of course, Joe must have had sex with at least two of them, and Edward wouldn’t be surprised if it included the deputy head boy.
“I’m glad you did invite me,” Edward said while removing his trousers. His hard-on evident through his grey underwear. He stood upright facing Joe, smiling at him, wondering who would make the first move to touch. “Is this answer enough for you.”
Joe nodded wildly. His eyes eagerly exploring and opened wide. Edward’s hard penis throbbed to the left, across his waistline.
“May I touch you? You’re so beautiful,” Joe asked, stepping forward.
Edward nodded. “I’ve never been touched there by anyone, first touch me here.” He pointed to his hard nipples above an already formidable six-pack.
The memory of his first time calmed him but he had a raging hard-on as he sat in the car. He turned the ignition and headed back to the main road, and a cruise bar in Rivonia. Stuff the internet, he thought.
***
By the time Edward arrived home, he promised himself to head straight to bed. Anonymous sex always left him empty and exhausted, a stranger to himself.
But when he got to the front door of his apartment, he received the surprise of his life. For there, crouched on the floor in the passageway, sat Raw, his head dangling on his chest. Edward approached and shook him awake.
“Hey, man. What are doing?”
Raw scrambled to his feet. “Edward! I must have dozed off.”
“How did you get past the security gate?”
“One of the neighbours let me in.”
“No sweat. It’s cold out here. Come in.”
Edward opened the door and allowed Raw to go in first.
“Make yourself comfortable. You know where everything is. Well, you should, you were here only three weeks ago.”
Raw made himself comfortable in the lounge while Edward went straight to the kitchen. The kitchen had an open hatch to see through to the lounge and dining area, all ope
n plan.
“So, what’s so important it couldn’t be said in a text?” Edward asked, pouring himself an orange juice.
“May I have a glass of water?”
“Sure. Would you prefer orange juice instead?”
“Juice will be fine. No ice.”
A few minutes later Edward handed Raw a glass of juice and sat down opposite him. Something about Raw had changed. The bully Edward had met three weeks back, was missing. Raw’s modesty surprised him, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Uncanny.
“So, what brings you to my doorstep?”
“A lot of things. Maybe I shouldn’t even be here.”
“I’m not letting you go until you spill.”
“I wanted to say I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you.”
“You haven’t been exactly nice. You’re angry because I came to the gym with Angie. Don’t worry, it won’t happen again.”
“I shouldn’t have come across as though I was the champ. I’m only human. I’m sorry.”
“You threatened me. Not cool. You continually blame Angie for trying to match-make.”
“It won’t happen again. I love Angie, she’s like an aunt to me.”
“I think you have issues, Raw. Deep-seated issues. And maybe you need help.”
“The only issue I have is dealing with Curisco. The problem is if I come out, Curisco will disown me. To him, boxing isn’t for kissy-huggy nancy boys who suck dicks. I’ve been hurt before and I don’t want to be hurt ever again. I mean, look at you. Compared to me you’re totally fucking beautiful and I know guys like you hurt people. I would rather be who I am than be someone else’s am. I’d rather hurt myself than be hurt by another man.”
Edward stared at Raw for a moment. “You’re wrong on several levels. So messed up and fucking wrong. Firstly, you’re the looker. Secondly, I don’t give a shit about other guys who hurt as long as they don’t hurt me. I don’t hurt people. People hurt me. Yes, I’m naïve and vulnerable. But I don’t create a whole thing around it. So, please get done with your pity party. And your father won’t disown you. You’ve built this thick and tall wall around you because you fear love. You say I’m beautiful because you can’t find the beauty in yourself. You don’t and maybe you’ve never loved yourself because you worry about what others think of you. Maybe you can’t love.”
Raw listened without moving. He said, “I can love.”
“Then stop running.” Edward placed a hand on his shoulder.
Raw looked away for a moment. The emotion caught in his throat and he couldn’t speak. He swallowed hard and said, “The thought of being loved scares me. I knew a guy. I thought Andrew loved me without fault and when I found him selling himself online, I cracked. Something inside me broke. It’s not like we didn’t have our ups and downs, but I thought something was wrong when we stopped having sex altogether. We fought about sex for Christ’s sake. He thought I wanted too much. I thought he didn’t give enough plus I always had to initiate it. I guess I contributed to the problem as much as he did. The betrayal was overpowering. Painful. This got me thinking about building a wall. Fuck 'em all and love none. It keeps me safe. Protects me from disaster.”
“Strong coming from you. I’m glad I’m not one of those guys.”
“Anyway, I thought I’d come and apologize for being such a dick, and maybe start over.” Raw collected his bag at the door.
“What are you doing now? Where the hell are you going at this time of night?”
Raw checked the time. “Home. It’s midnight. I have to train early.”
“Sleep over. In the spare bedroom. I’ll set the alarm for you.”
“I prefer sleeping in my bed, thanks anyway.”
“It’s late. This way you get to sleep quicker. Come on, let’s get you ready.”
“You win this round. Oh, and this time, you don’t need to undress me.”
Leading the way to the spare room, Edward said, “Pity. I enjoyed undressing you last time.”
“Pervert.”
“You want to shower first?” Edward asked, handing him a towel.
“Makes no difference to me. I can handle second round.”
“Okay, I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
“Cool.”
Edward left the room while Raw placed his bag on the floor beside the bed. He stood at the window and watched the silvery water rippling off the lake. Noted the serenity in the darkness. He heard the shower down the passage and from his bedroom door could see Edward had left the shower door slightly ajar and Raw crept towards it, eventually stood so he could see in, but Edward couldn’t see him.
He swooned at Edward’s masculinity. His wet hair hung down his neck and face and he scrubbed every inch of his tattooed body. The most endearing part of his body hung limply between his legs, a phallus so perfect it made Raw’s dick tremble.
“You want to come in?” Edward smiled, nodding him over.
Raw blushed. He opened the door wider and entered.
“I…uh…I…”
“It’s okay.”
“You have an amazing body.”
“You really think so? Thank you,” Edward smiled. “I’m nearly finished. A couple of minutes.”
“No rush. So, are you going to take up my Dad’s offer?”
“I’ve been thinking about it. Maybe. You sure you don’t mind?”
“Hell, no. I want you there. Gives me a sparring partner I can whip to my liking.”
“Earlier today you said you don’t want me around. You said you’d make my life miserable.”
“I get angry quickly. I’m like an anger fountain, angry water spewing forth each second.”
“Maybe you need anger management.”
“Or a good fuck.”
“Or both” Edward said closing the faucet. “Pass me the towel, will you?”
Raw removed the towel from the rack and handed it over.
“I’d like it if you were to change your mind about boxing. I don’t know what made you stop, but whatever it is, I’m asking you to put it where it belongs, in the past...”
He couldn’t keep it bottled up. Still, no matter how he felt, he couldn’t divulge his motive.
“You want to say something?” Raw asked.
“It’s okay. I’ll get dressed for bed. See you in the morning.”
Raw undressed and stepped into the shower, hoping Edward would accept his apology and sign a contract with Curisco. He came to the conclusion that even if Edward didn’t join, he had inexorably become part of Raw’s life. Raw wouldn’t have it any other way.
7
Raw set his alarm for three-thirty. More out of habit than necessity. He washed, dressed in running shorts and shoes, collected his bag and headed for the front door.
“You’re up early,” Edward called from the lounge.
Raw made a U-turn and approached Edward seated on the couch. “Did I wake you?”
“I set my alarm to be with you when you wake up.”
“I always run at this time. It’s part of me. No matter where I am, my 4 A.M run is like a jealous boyfriend. If I don’t run it puts me in a bad mood all day.”
Edward had stopped running when he stopped boxing. He didn’t regret it. Thankful for the extra few hours of sleep.
“If you wait, I’ll run with you.”
“You will? Go put shorts on.”
“Shorts? No way. Tracksuit trousers. Builds up a sweat. You should know this if you want to stay heavyweight.”
“Whatever, just get changed. Haven’t got all morning.”
Edward rushed upstairs two steps at a time, grabbed two pairs of tracksuits and two thick, woollen jerseys and returned to Raw downstairs.
“Here,” he said, throwing the pants across the room. “And a thick jersey.”
“Let’s do it.”
“Did you ever see the movie, Rocky?” Edward asked as they started jogging and punching the cold night air.
“Dad made me watch it several times. I’ve seen
all the others too.”
“Where’s your favourite spot to hang out when you’re running?” Edward asked.
“The parking lot at Hyde Park Mall. I run up and down the ramps until 6.30 then head to the gym.”
“Sounds like agony.”
“Believe me, it is.”
“Maybe we can do Hyde Park tomorrow morning.”
“You have a date.”
***
Over the next few days, Edward met Raw each morning at four. They negotiated the Hyde Park Mall ramps and as the days passed, the effort became easier.
Edward couldn’t help but feel they were progressing in their friendship, even though he wanted more, he couldn’t bring himself to ask.
As training would go, they stopped to do cardio, and punched at the air whilst running, stopped again and completed a set of sit-ups and leg and tummy raises. Edward felt his six-pack returning and he checked and measured himself regularly.
He had thought hard and long about joining Curisco’s camp, he’d silently weighed up all the pros and cons and come to a decision. Guilt still hung over him like the dark sword of Damocles. He would never forget Masinga’s face and the lifeless glare in his eyes as he lay there, blood spilling from his mouth.
One afternoon, he arrived at the gym and headed straight for the reception where he smiled and nodded at Raw, cracking a joke with Anita, the receptionist.
“Hey, buddy!” Raw said, extending a hand.
“Hey. I’m here to see Curisco. Is he in?”
“Yes, go right through,” Anita said, pointing the way.
“You’ve decided?” Raw asked, fidgeting with the ring on his small finger.
“Yup.”
“Good news or bad?”
Edward turned without saying a word and Raw quickly followed him. He needed to know. Before Edward reached Curisco’s office, Raw stopped him. “What’s wrong? I can feel there’s something.”
“Leave it, Raw.”
Edward entered with Raw close behind.
Curisco prepared three cups of warm milk and offered them each a cup. “See, you can have a variety of milk: cold, hot or lukewarm. These are lukewarm – and please no slurping, Raw.”
