by Lee Quail
He gripped Raw’s collar. “I love you.” Edward’s eyes washed over.
“I haven’t stopped crying since you left,” Raw said, “I’m wrecked, my love.” He buried his head on Edward’s shoulder and wept, not only from near exhaustion, but also he felt safe in Edward’s arms.
“Please, please don’t go. Please stay. I didn’t mean to come across so cold and unconcerned. Please. I’m so sorry for walking away from you. So sorry.”
“I had to find you. You’re not a used up dream, my love. To me you’re the perfect dream.” Raw found it difficult to talk with emotion winched in his throat.
Holding each other, neither wanted to let go, eventually Edward stepped back, “Come inside.”
He led the hesitant Raw up the steps and into a home that could easily have been mistaken for a time capsule. He smelled wood. Wood everywhere, from cupboards to tables and chairs and even wooden benches. The floor and high ceiling. All wood. A fire smouldered in the hearth and two cups of coffee stood on the table.
“Am I interrupting?” Raw said, wiping his eyes.
Edward frowned. “Why would you say that?”
“Is someone here?”
“Only you.”
“Two mugs on the table.” Raw pointed.
Edward laughed. “The folks at the diner called me to expect a guest. They described you as a handsome, well-built man with dark hair, beautiful thick lips and brown eyes and a dimple on the cheek. No guessing whom that could be. My heart made a thousand leaps over the moon. The other mug is yours.”
Raw apologized. “I’m nervous. Sorry. I assumed…”
“You want to sit outside or inside? It’s a bit cold out.”
“Inside is fine. It’s beautiful and peaceful out here.”
“I love this place. Come here whenever I can to get away from the rat race.”
Raw gazed at him for what seemed like an eternity.
“I missed you so much,” Raw said. He buried his head in the palm of his hands. “I missed you.”
Edward slowly approached him and sank to his knees. He held Raw’s face gently and wiped away the tears with his little finger. “I haven’t been able to function properly without you.”
“I was blinded by Curisco and the gym to the point where nothing else mattered. I love you with all my heart and soul. Please forgive me. Please. We don’t have to fight. I don’t want to fight you. I don’t want to hurt this beautiful face and body.” Raw’s trembling fingers touched every inch of Edward’s face. “And I know you don’t want to hurt me. I don’t know what I was thinking,” Raw whispered. “I don’t care about the fight. If you give me a choice between the fight or you, I would choose you every time.”
“I was going to leave here tomorrow, and still be in time to fight you. Afterwards, I was going to pack up my life in Johannesburg and come here. But last night, sitting here in front of the fire, I realized what a fool I am. I made a huge mistake by walking away from you.”
“My mistake was taking you for granted. Everything’s been about me, Curisco and the gym.”
“I’m an average guy with a big heart. Plenty of time to get to know each other in depth. Something I thought of; how did you know where to find me?”
“Angie said you escape to a distant place in the Drakensberg whenever there’s a problem in your life.”
Raw went to his bag and pulled out Edward’s notebook. “You gave me keys to your apartment and it dawned on me that I might find the answer there. I kind of broke in and found this on your bedside table.” He showed him the entry that mentioned Canton’s Cottage. Edward lifted a brow and smiled lovingly. “No one ever finds me when I’m gone. It’s my cursed pride.”
Edward’s lump swelled in his throat and he flung his arms around Raw. Raw brought his lips to meet Edward’s and they kissed lovingly and gently.
Edward broke the kiss. “I haven’t brushed my teeth in days.”
“I don’t care. I want to love you as you are.” His hands swept down the side of Edward’s body and fell on his trousers’ fly.
Edward pulled away. “Wait. Wait. There’s still a problem, mister.”
“What?”
“The tumour.”
“I’ll get it seen to. Angie’s doctors are the best in the world.”
“Promise me on your life, Rawson Curisco.”
“I promise on my life. As soon as we get back.”
“If anything were to happen to you I’d never forgive myself.”
“Nothing is going to happen to me. We’re going to grow old together and sit on the patio outside and stare at the mountains all day and reminisce and laugh about this.”
“And ride horses. Can you ride a horse?”
“Actually, no.”
“Well then, let’s get you saddled up, buttercup.”
The stable, behind the main house, smelled like hay. Old Joshua, the horse groundman, saddled up the horses and led them into the corral.
“This is Queen Anne,” Edward introduced Raw to the mare and she grunted and stomped a back leg. Her tail whooshed about. “She’s tame. Stroke her head and face. She loves that.”
“Hi, Queen Anne. You are beautiful.” Raw stroked her face and head gently. “I love this white streak on the side of your face. It looks like lightning.”
“She’s my favourite mare amongst the lot,” Edward said. “Here, let me help you up.”
Raw placed a foot in Edward’s cupped hands and he heaved Raw onto the horse.
Queen Anne raised her head and whinnied while old Joshua steadied her. “Don’t worry, boss. She’s steady and tolerant. We’ll walk and canter first, so you’ll get used to the reins and the bit in her mouth and she can get used to your weight and commands.”
Edward explained how to use the legs and seat to communicate basic cues. “Your hands shouldn’t be rigid. Relax them. They should be limp. Same as your shoulders and arms. Relax them.”
Raw relaxed his entire upper body. “I’m relaxed.”
“Perfect,” Edward said. “Now keep your hands apart. About a foot apart. Think of the reins as rubber bands, trying not to let them droop down or snap in her mouth. Meanwhile, keep your legs on her sides to prevent her from slowing down or stopping.”
“Okay, but how do I get her to walk?”
Edward laughed. “You feel a light contact between your hands and the bit. Squeeze her with your lower legs lightly behind the girth area. Don’t move your thighs. At the same time as you cue with your legs, push forward slightly with your seat muscles. Try it.”
Raw pulled the rein slowly until he felt the bit in her mouth and pushed slightly on his seat. Queen Anne stepped forward.
And so it went for about an hour. Raw learned to turn and stop and walk the horse. He didn’t want to trot, yet. “Maybe next time,” he said to old Joshua.
Joshua opened the gates and allowed both riders out into the veld.
As they walked their horses, Edward showed him the different vistas of the hills and mountains looming tall in the background.
“You see that peak over there,” Edward pointed to a green and brown granite outcrop reaching for the sky. “That’s Mponjwana. Cathedral Peak. It’s 9850 feet above sea level.”
“What does Mpon… whatever, mean?”
“Mponjwana,” Edward laughed. “It’s the name given by the Amangwane people who live in this area. It means Little horn.”
“It does look like an animal’s horn. Has the same twist and reach, like your...”
Edward thwacked him with a playful backhander against the left cheek. “You have a dirty mind, mister.”
Raw leaned back on Queen Anne and laughed.
“I’ll deal with you later for that,” Edward grinned. “Oh, yes I will.”
“I’m hoping beyond all that is true and great that you will.” He laughed out loud and it echoed across the distance.
Edward pointed at the tree line in the foreground. “See that line of trees? That forms the boundary between my prope
rty and the uKhahlamba Drakensberg Park, run by the state.”
“It really is a beautiful vista,” Raw said. “On the road I saw a sign that said Cathedral Peak Hiking Trail?”
“The hiking trail is awesome if you’re into lugging a backpack with all your comforts for a couple of days. Hikers get to stay the night in Sherman’s Cave, not far from here. It’s a hell of a hike up to the peak. But as in all summits, you really feel awesome, like a king, when you get to the top. From the top you can see the northern and central Drakensberg and the Amphitheatre right down to Cathkin Peak about 40 clicks away.”
“Have you ever hiked up there?”
“Only once. I’d love to do it with you one day,” Edward said, leaning over and kissing his man.
On the way back to the cottage, they dismounted and walked beside the horses at a slow pace, Edward spoke nonstop. Raw loved listening to his husky, comforting voice.
He spoke of things where they had never been, it was as if he was discovering a brand new Edward. How Edward qualified with a Bachelor of Science in Horticulture. How he loved his mother and promised to look after her when he was only thirteen. His father had recently died in a car accident leaving her in a bad place. She mourned his dad for many years. Promised never to love another man. “I told her not to worry. I’d look after her. The day she passed on from cancer of the lungs - she smoked sixty cigarettes a day after his father died – turned out the darkest day of my life. I packed up and spent three weeks here.
“I loved boxing. Not the hurting, or the image of a man who loves violence. To me, boxing is more than a sport. It’s a way of life. The night I fought Masinga, I felt confident and cocky and when he didn’t wake up after I knocked him out, my world crashed. I spent the entire time at his side, begging him to live. My coach had to pull me away from him. I couldn’t trust myself after that. I did some research and found the same thing happened to other boxers like Emile Griffith and Willy Toweel. But, it didn’t make me feel better. Emile Griffith once said, ‘I keep thinking how strange it is; I kill a man and most people understand and forgive me. However, I love a man and many say this makes me an evil person.’
Edward had returned. The eloquent Edward, the trusting Edward, the Edward with no cloudy illusions about himself. Edward looked up and saw smoke coming from the cottage chimney. “I see Julia’s prepared a fresh fire. I think supper is nearly ready.”
Back at the cottage, Julia, Joshua the groundsman’s wife, had prepared a vegetable soup for starters and a roast leg of lamb cooked in a gas oven.
“Come,” Edward said, taking Raw’s hand. “I want to show you something.”
Edward led him to the patio and Raw gasped. Red and orange, velvet and indigo painted the sky as the sun set and it took his breath away. “Isn’t that something?” Edward said.
“I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s beautiful,” Raw pulled Edward towards him in a loving hug. They watched the sun set over Cathedral Peak without saying a word. It looked like heaven had come down to meet the earth and bless their relationship.
With the sun behind the mountain, the long shadows of the sunset turned the air cold.
“I think we should eat,” Edward said, inviting Raw inside.
“Good idea. I haven’t eaten for days.”
“Strange you should say that. You’re the reason I haven’t touched food also.”
Julia lit two candles and placed them at opposite ends of the dining room table. Flowers, collected from the veld surrounding the cottage, added a subtle, romantic touch to the setting.
During the meal, Raw reached out to touch Edward’s hand and gazed at him for several seconds. “I’m so happy being with you. You don’t want to hear something cheesy like you complete me, do you?”
Edward threw his head back and laughed. Raw laughed too. “No. Please don’t say that. That’s so overdone.”
“Hmm. Let me see. Something that’s not cheesy. Do you want to know what the best thing in my life is? It’s the second word of that sentence.”
Edward leaned forward and with a dead serious look said, “You don’t actually need me to complete you, Raw. You only need me to love you unconditionally.”
“Seriously though, I can’t get enough of you.” Raw said, sticking his tongue against the inside of his cheek.
Edward laughed so much it hurt his stomach. “How about you’re so dreamy I’ll never have nightmares again,” he suggested.
Raw hit the table with the palm of his hand. “Stop! Stop. My jaw hurts. I can’t find any words to describe you so I’ll paint you on my dick.”
Edward keeled over, laughing wildly.
“Wait. Wait,” Raw held up his hands. “Are you a boxer? Because damn, you’re a knockout!”
A few moments later their laughter died. Edward reached for Raw’s hand. “It’s all been said and done, I guess. All there is to say is that I’m glad you came after me. I feel like a trillion times better than I did last night.”
“I’m glad I came.”
Later, while Raw fiddled in his overnight bag, Edward spread a duvet and two pillows in front of the fire and lay in Raw’s arms.
“We have to go back tomorrow. I don’t want to.”
Raw tickled the back of his neck. “I don’t want to either. I love being here. This place.”
“Are we going to do it?”
“What, sex? Of course we’re going to do it.”
Edward smacked him on the stomach. “No. I mean yes, but are we going to fight each other?”
“No.”
“Good,” Edward said staring at the flames in the fireplace.
“Still, we have to go back,” Raw sighed.
“I know. It’s depressing, isn’t it?”
“Why don’t we forget about tomorrow until tomorrow comes? In the meantime, I have something for you.” Raw searched in his pocket, brought out an unwrapped silver box and watched Edward’s face as he took it in his hands. “Open it.”
Edward opened the box.
Inside lay a silver bracelet with the words, “I love you, Edward Canton. Will you marry me?” Inscribed on the inside.
“What?” Edward’s eyes lit up, his face burned. His soul returned.
“Will you marry me?” Raw asked, touching his face.
Edward leaned over and kissed Raw gently, sending his tongue between his lips for a moment. “Please, don’t let this be a joke.”
“You think I’m joking?” Raw searched his other pocket and brought out another box.
Edward opened it slowly.
A gold ring lay cushioned inside.
Edward gazed into Raw’s eyes as Raw took the ring and gently placed it on his ring finger. “Do I need to ask again?”
Edward shook his head. He didn’t need to be asked a third time. “Yes, Raw Curisco. My answer is yes.”
Their passion in front of the hearth exploded in a frenzy of kisses. Each grappling for the other’s mouth. Searching for hands and squeezing hard as if they’d never let go. They unbuttoned each other’s shirts and unzipped each other’s pants in tandem. At the end of the day, they were one with each other, in each other and for each other. Tonight, foreplay was a mutual arrangement. As if they were thinking as one. Fingers prised open. Mouths sucked. Tongues rimmed. Raw turned Edward on his stomach and ran his tongue down his back, right up to his crack. He blew gently on Edward’s skin as he returned to his neck. Then ran his tongue down his back again, passed his crack, between his thick thighs, down his legs, and onto his toes. That’s where he stayed, placing each toe in his mouth and sucked on them while Edward groaned and stiffened with the pleasure soaring through his body.
Raw went back up his leg and scrotum and found his rosebud inviting. He placed his tongue inside and wriggled there for a few moments, leaving Edward breathless.
“Do you like that?”
“Oh fuck, yes.”
“Do that to me.”
Edward turned and pulled Raw down on his tummy and without hesitation, pla
ced his tongue in Raw’s hole. Raw squirmed from the sensation and bucked his buttock into Edward’s face, pushing harder to feel Edward’s tongue. Edward licked and sucked and grabbed Raw’s thick cock from beneath him and just held it in his hand.
After a few moments, Edward stood up and pulled Raw with him.
“Follow me.”
He guided Raw down a flight of stairs into a large, tiled basement towards a wooden door.
“You have a steam room?”
Edward opened the door and the hot mist engulfed them as they entered.
“Best thing in winter and summer.”
21
Both arrived at the gym earlier than usual on Saturday morning. Curisco looked as though he had slept in his clothes. He leaned over on the desk, head in his arms. Typical of a man who had not slept. He looked up as the door opened and Edward and Raw entered.
“You found him,” Curisco said, jubilantly.
Raw went straight for the jugular. “We decided we are not going to fight each other. It’s not right.” Holding hands, they sat on the couch and waited for Curisco’s response.
Raw had visions of the world ending. Curisco should have been bouncing around the office, shouting profanities in Italian, slamming his desk with a fist, shaking and sweating from head to toe. None of that happened.
Instead, Roberto Curisco smiled down at them, pulled up a chair and crossed his legs. “You found each other. I love a good romance. I’m happy for you boys. You are suited. You make a fine team. You’ll be glad to know that I’ve been doing some thinking.” He took Raw and Edward’s hands and held tight.
“I’ve been an asshole. Un coglione che voleva vedere suo figlio mangiare.”
Edward frowned; he had no idea what Roberto said. Raw interpreted it as best he could. “He said he’s an arsehole who wanted to see his son eat. I guess that has something to do with being successful and wanting his child to have all the comforts of life.”
“That, and more,” Curisco said. “You boys are all I have. It only dawned on me when you half killed me the other day, son. I’ve been a shithole to you all my life. You were right. I am a selfish asshole. I don’t know how to say I’m sorry. So, I’ll say it. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I tried to make my dreams yours and on the way I forgot you are an individual.”
