by Liza Kendall
Rhett started to laugh. “I’m home,” he said, feeling the bittersweet truth in his bones. “I am definitely home.”
“It’s not funny to me,” Grady said softly.
Rhett shut up and looked his former best friend in the eye.
Grady swallowed hard. “Why didn’t you just tell me to begin with?”
“Because I thought you would never find out, which meant I couldn’t hurt you,” Rhett said. “And . . . because telling you felt too hard. Telling my best friend that I messed up in the worst way I ever could. Telling my best friend who’d stuck with me through all the years when I didn’t have anybody else to call brother.” In his peripheral vision, Declan lowered his head to stare at the ground. But Rhett had to stay with Grady. He owed this to him, especially before he confronted Jules with her own lie and then packed up Scarlett and went back to Dallas.
“I knew I’d lose you, and I was right. I’m sorry you feel I betrayed you. Thing is, I guess I did. Except that I’m in love with your sister.”
He said the words without thinking, but as soon as they came out and hung there, in the air, in front of God and everybody, he knew they were true. Grady’s eyes widened.
Rhett nodded. “I’m in love with Jules, even though she’s made things impossible. So I didn’t really betray you. But it doesn’t matter now, anyway. It’s going to take a long time to get over her, so I can understand how long it’s going to take you to feel better about me. I hope you can get there.” Rhett looked the other man in the eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t do what I should have done, and I’m sorry I didn’t say what I should have said, when it mattered. I don’t know what else to tell you.”
One thing he wasn’t going to do was tell Grady that his lil’ baby sister had pulled the wool over both their eyes with her Bridget-influenced scheme to seduce Rhett into getting her way with the stables. Who was seducing whom now? If Grady couldn’t believe that Rhett was in love with Jules for real, he’d never believe that Silverlake sweetheart Julianna Holt had coldly faked being in love with Rhett.
Which of them had the heart of a city slicker?
He was supposed to be the cold, hard businessperson here.
But he couldn’t hold a candle to her con.
If he hadn’t been so stunned and heartsick, he might even have admired it.
And if he hadn’t heard Bridget define it out loud, he’d never have believed it of Jules.
He rewound his mental camera and recalled all of the times she’d clearly been forcing herself to be civil to him. And the sex? Had she been getting payback?
He just didn’t know.
Rhett staggered a little as he got to his feet but steadied fast, with one hand braced against the inside of the garage.
Grady’s eyes followed his. “You going back to Dallas?”
“Yup.”
“You gonna throw in the towel on the baby?”
“Nope.”
“Good. ’Cause you’re going to be a great daddy,” he said, grudgingly. Looking pretty pissed about it, though.
Rhett smiled and cautiously reached out to help Grady stand up.
Grady ignored the help and lurched upright, wincing a little.
Then he turned his back on Rhett and headed into the firehouse. With a sick feeling in his stomach, Rhett watched his best friend—his ex–best friend—walk out on him.
And then it was just the three Braddocks.
Rhett started collecting his belongings, Declan and Jake on either side, pitching in to make quick work of it. They dumped it all in the back seat of Rhett’s car. Rhett stuck the deed on his dashboard and turned back to his brothers.
He just looked at them, couldn’t find the words for how grateful he was to have them back in his life.
“Jake, I’m sorry about all this,” Rhett said, gesturing to the garage. The space was still in disarray, boots knocked over, the pool octopus deflated, a length of unraveled hose.
Jake managed a smile, even as he examined the nasty scrape on his elbow. “Well,” he said, “it’s been a tough six months for the department; don’t know why the rest of the year should be any different.”
“Are you still taking heat for Charlie standing up against the squad at the council in October?” Declan asked.
“Yeah. And if I’m still taking heat for that, might as well take some heat for standing up for you at the same time. Get it over with. I have faith that the boys’ll come around eventually.”
Rhett felt a lump in his throat. He put his hand on Jake’s shoulder. “You could’ve stayed out of it.”
“I don’t think scattering to the winds did much for any of us,” Jake said. “Maybe we should try sticking together?”
Rhett pulled his younger brother close, clapping him on the back. “Thanks,” he whispered into Jake’s ear. “That means a lot. How ’bout I give you a hand cleaning up?”
“We’ll take care of it,” Declan said, kicking the toe of his boot into the ground. “How about you take care of your business at Holt Stables? Then come home to the ranch before you head out.” He finally looked up. “I’d love to have you stay for a final Fool Feast at Silverlake Ranch, if you have a mind. Aren’t we all feeling a little foolish?”
Rhett nodded. He got into his car, looked out the windshield toward the road leading to Holt Stables, and forced himself—oh, he had to force himself—to harden his heart.
It was over. All of it. Jules. The ranch. His time in Silverlake was nearly up. It was all over.
At least he had another set of cuff links in his glove compartment, right? Ha ha.
Wearily, Rhett turned the key in the ignition, glancing at his vibrating phone. A text from Jules.
Please come ASAP. Frost needs you. Jules.
One hand tightening on the steering wheel, breath hitching in his chest, Rhett bowed his head in surrender.
Chapter 33
Jules stood in the doorway of the barn with Beast at her side, dreading what was to come. Rhett sat in his car for an eternity before the door slowly opened and he got out. She gasped as Beast went to greet him and he absently stroked her head.
He looked okay, medically speaking—but his jeans and T-shirt were smeared with filth and oil. So the hot gossip about the firehouse brawl wasn’t an exaggeration. She was going to kill Grady. Enough was enough.
There was a fresh cut over Rhett’s left eye, and he probably had some nasty hidden bruises, but otherwise he seemed . . . intact.
The set of his shoulders told another story, though. He was broken up, and she’d certainly done her part to make him so. Saying yes didn’t feel right. Jules stared at her left hand where she’d tried on that rock of a ring. Why, then, did saying no feel even worse?
The ring hung heavy in her pocket. She was pretty sure it had tried to crawl off her finger as soon as she’d started mucking out stalls. She could almost hear it shrieking that it was certainly not cut out for this . . .
But how did she give it back to a man who looked as down as she’d ever seen a man look? A man who was about to lose a beloved part of his life? She might as well pour salt into a fresh gunshot wound.
Rhett had to know she was standing there, but he looked the other way, staring at the empty riding ring; you could still get a whiff of fresh paint from here.
Then he shaded his eyes and looked out over the grassy hill beyond the pasture, where Frost was standing in the wildflowers.
Her heart pounded in her chest as he walked toward Frost, while Beast returned to her. Rhett tucked some rolled-up paper into his back pocket as he strode up to his old rodeo horse and pressed his forehead to the old stallion’s. Jules leaned heavily back against the weathered boards of the barn, a little breathless. She was going to have to tell him that Frost’s time was up, on top of everything else.
The regret she’d been battling since his last proposal h
it her like a truck. She and Beast walked toward the pasture, her steps quickening. Rhett was talking to Frost; Jules couldn’t hear the words, but she could hear the soft rumble of his voice.
Shaking a little, Jules mustered up her courage. “You can’t ignore me forever,” she said.
“I know. I’ve tried before. The minute you walked through that door in Dallas, I was done. Didn’t even know just how bad,” Rhett said. “Couldn’t ignore you after that. Couldn’t stop thinking about you long after I walked out on you. Won’t stop thinking about you long after I head back to Dallas.” He gently stroked the length of Frost’s nose and scratched behind the horse’s ears.
The numbness in Rhett’s voice shook Jules to her core. Something was way, way off. The words were everything she’d ever wanted to hear; the delivery scared her.
“It doesn’t change the facts, though. You got me back good,” he said bitterly.
What? Got you back?
Then he abruptly changed the subject. “He’s not breathing right. He’s not steady on his feet. You’re right: I think he’s in pain,” Rhett said. He leaned toward the old Appaloosa and slipped both arms around his neck. “Aw, you waited for me, huh, boy? I’m right here. I’m sorry I was away for so long, but I’m right here now.”
Frost snuffled weakly into Rhett’s shoulder.
Jules blinked, a lump growing in her throat as she tried to keep up with Rhett’s thought process. He was in a world of hurt. She could feel it. “I tried to take him back to the stables but he wants to stay out here in the wild. I called the vet. I guess you got my text.”
Rhett didn’t answer. He ran his hand slowly along Frost’s spine, starting at the withers, as if his fingers were storing memories. Jules reached out to put her hand on his shoulder, to tell him very clearly that Frost was ready to go, and even though she wouldn’t marry him, it didn’t mean she didn’t care about him—God, if he only understood just how much—and she was here for him if he needed—
But as soon as she touched him, he jerked away as if burned. “Don’t,” he said evenly.
O-kay . . . Jules stood there, at a loss. Beast whined, then shook her head and sent slobber flying everywhere.
“Frost,” Rhett murmured. “I always felt like John Wayne on you.”
She stood silent, hurting because he was hurting. Wishing he would let her comfort him. But he had to go and be . . . a man. Stoic and unreachable in his grief.
“He’s going to die,” Rhett said, suddenly angry. He took a step back, bumping into Jules, flinching, and turning away from her. He dashed tears from his eyes. “And now nothing in Silverlake matters anymore.”
Oh, Rhett. Her heart ached for him.
He seemed to have forgotten that she was there. He buried his face in Frost’s neck, his strong fingers twining in his horse’s mane, almost as if he could keep Frost here on earth by sheer force of will.
Without even realizing it, she made a soft noise of distress.
He jolted. “Why don’t you go and leave me and Frost in some peace?” he asked bitterly. “Why don’t you just leave us alone?
Beast gave a soft woof.
Jules looked between Rhett and Frost. Was Rhett out of his mind? Where was this hostility coming from? “No,” she said. “I’m not leaving you alone at a time like this.”
Rhett turned and looked at her with narrowed eyes that switched to confusion and then softened as she focused on his horse, patting softly, letting Frost know he was loved.
Jules stayed quiet as Rhett talked to Frost about the past.
“I wish I could have taken you to Connecticut, boy . . . I’m so sorry. But it’s not that I left you . . . I got sent away. I missed you something fierce. And then, once the pain had faded, I was afraid to feel it again. I was so pissed at Deck that I stayed away—and that meant staying away from you, too.”
He dashed away more tears.
It broke her heart to see this big, tough, hardened businessman crying. She touched his shoulder again, trying to offer comfort.
“Get away from me,” Rhett growled. “Go on. Go.”
Beast woofed again, as if to say ouch.
Jules dropped her hand.
Grief makes some people mean. And they lash out.
Helpless, she stepped back. But she refused to leave him like this—not that he seemed to notice.
“So I didn’t come back,” he said to Frost. “That was wrong. You made my whole childhood, took me from boy to man. Riding you was my solace after Pop and Mama died . . .” His voice broke.
Across the field, Esme’s van pulled up next to Scarlett. Jules waved both her arms to signal their location and got a wave back.
Rhett heard the door slam and looked up. “No. Please, no. Do you have to go now?” he asked Frost desperately, his voice clogged with sorrow.
Let him go, Jules thought to say to him.
But as Rhett put his arms around Frost’s neck again and hugged him close, she saw for herself just how fiercely this man could love, how honest his feelings were below the surface. Let him feel it all.
The vet had walked over, quietly organized her equipment, and gave Jules a nod. They’d been down this road together before and there was no need for sterile words or explanations.
“Rhett, it’s time to say goodbye,” Jules said softly. “Do you remember how it goes?”
Rhett took a deep breath, shuddered, and in a controlled voice said, “I remember.”
Jules stayed next to the vet, using her body to give Rhett a little privacy as the vet administered to Frost with quick, practiced movements.
Rhett spoke to Frost the entire time. “You’re not alone. Feel my hand? See? It’s me. You’re not alone, Frost. We’re right here . . . right here, boy . . . we’ll ride again, you and I.”
In a little while, Frost wheezed and went down, his legs giving out in a rush that had the old horse suddenly lying in the field of wildflowers.
Beast whined and laid down, too, her brown eyes giving away her distress.
Jules sucked in a quick breath. It never got easier. Oh, sweet boy.
As the light and the life faded from Frost’s mismatched eyes, one brown, one blue, Rhett made an anguished sound. He didn’t move, just knelt on the ground stroking Frost’s side. He bent over him, his shoulders heaving as he gave way to his grief.
Jules knelt down on the other side of Frost, pressing her hand gently against his body. “Ssh, it’s okay . . . it’s okay, boy. It’s okay . . .” she murmured, her fingers suddenly tangling with Rhett’s.
Their eyes met. Jules surveyed Rhett’s face, tear-streaked to match her own. “It’s okay, Rhett,” she said squeezing his hand. He squeezed back, lost in the moment, letting go only to brush back a lock of Frost’s mane.
“It’ll never be okay again,” he said. And then: “I want him buried at Silverlake.”
* * *
Rhett sat out in the wildflowers with his hand on Frost, feeling his old friend’s warmth give out little by little. The air was crisp on his skin, but that determined sun shone high in the sky, as if it didn’t know today was a day for mourning things lost. Beast remained with him, settled about a yard away, her muzzle resting on her front paws. Rhett was grateful for her presence.
Staying for a final Fool Feast didn’t seem like an option anymore. Lila would be so disappointed.
Jake, too, actually.
Come to think of it, Declan would be bothered by it more than anybody, though he wouldn’t say a thing.
Why not stay?
Jules had gone to the parking area with the vet to make arrangements, out of earshot, for Frost. Rhett watched her from afar, one hand still stroking Frost.
Because she doesn’t love me.
You still have your family.
It’s a lot, but it’s too hard being here knowing what I can’t have.
> You have a baby on the way. You’re gonna be around here for that. Haven’t figured it out, but you’re definitely going to be there for that child.
A wave of resentment swept through Rhett as he thought about how simple things would have been if Jules had only said yes. But she’d have been deceiving him . . .
He reeled with bitterness. All these years, he’d been so careful to avoid getting tangled with a gold digger in Dallas. He’d been on his guard around women for a long time. Now, suddenly, Julianna Holt, with her tomboy ways, had blindsided him. He hadn’t seen it coming. Because he hadn’t wanted to see it.
Since the moment she’d bought him that beer in Schweitz’s, he’d watched her struggle and strangle on her emotions right in front of him. Forcing herself to be nice. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer . . .
He wanted to throttle Bridget. One thing he knew for sure: Jules wouldn’t have come up with the strategy on her own.
No . . . she’d just executed it. Along with any hopes Rhett had for a happy ending in his life.
“What do you think I should do now?” Rhett asked Frost.
A breeze riffled through Frost’s mane.
“Well, I guess I know what you’d say,” Rhett said softly. “You’d tell me to stay through our final family Fool Feast, in Mama’s best tradition, and choke down Lila’s cooking. You’d say you love Silverlake Ranch. And you love Lila and Jake and Declan most of all. You’d say that you’d never miss a chance for carrots though you’d appreciate it if yours were served raw, with a side of apples.”
Goodbye, old friend.
Rhett mopped his face with his arm. “You’d tell me that if you had the chance, you’d go back one more time. You’d tell me not to leave with any regrets.” Love you, Frost. Go run free, and I’ll see you again someday.
Rhett pressed his forehead to Frost’s for the last time, gently tugged his forelock, and headed back toward the barn as Beast trailed him.
With every step he forced himself to harden his heart, because he knew that if he didn’t, that when he got close enough to Jules to look into those hazel eyes of hers, he might break down again.
