by Michael Todd
Pandora slapped her hard on the back and flew up. “Good. Now, come on. We have a fucking portal to close before we all turn into fucking seared steak.”
Katie giggled and took off, joining her as they flew up to the portal. The sides crackled and sparked. They grabbed each side and looked at each other. At the same time, they shut their eyes and began to pull angel powers into them, filling both of their chests. Grunting, Pandora and Katie began to push. They centered their energy and used it to give them enough strength to slam it shut. Katie was so full of angelic energy that she didn’t even feel the burns on her hands anymore. All she could think about was getting that portal closed.
With one more big push, the portal slammed shut, throwing Katie and Pandora into each other. They both laughed joyously and floated back, watching as the steady flow of lava completely stopped. Katie looked at Pandora. Pandora looked at Katie.
Pandora put her arms up and waved her middle finger all over the place. “Fuck, yeah! Fuck, yeah! Fuck, yeah! I’m a badass angel, bitches, so you better step the fuck back.”
Beelzebub sat down in his war room, getting comfortable in his chair. He pulled the armor off his arms and dropped it on the floor with a groan. Bending his arms forward and back, he rubbed his sore joints. There were raw marks on each side of his arm where the metal had rubbed him past the scales and down to the flesh. He grabbed his glass, taking a sip. As he drank, he glanced at the screen hovering in front of him, giving him a window into the battle.
Slowly he pulled the glass from his lips, frowning. “Hey!”
A large demon stuck his head around the corner and looked into the war room, which at that point was located right by the portals. “Yes, Beelzebub?”
He turned in his chair and scrunched his forehead. “Why isn’t the lava flowing anymore? What the fuck?”
The demon looked behind him and shrugged. “The portal is closed.”
Beelzebub threw back his whiskey and slammed the glass down so hard that it shattered. He stood up, grabbing his armor and stomping toward the door. “I’m going over to see the specialist. I want more demons on Earth. Many, many more!”
The big demon nodded quickly. “Of course. More demons. Right away.”
Beelzebub kept walking, then paused and whirled. “Big ones! I want that fucking statue taken down. I am not going to let these fucking angels ruin everything. How goddamn hard is it to push a fucking statue over?”
The big demon lowered his head. “My brother wasn’t the smartest.”
Beelzebub sneered and tilted his head. “I didn’t know he was your brother. Sorry for the loss. But hey, at least he went down like a fucking bomb.”
The demon smirked, revealing his sharp teeth. “That was pretty awesome. He would have been impressed if he could have seen himself. Those trees toppled like dominos.”
Beelzebub snickered. “Hell yeah, they did. Anyway, get on it. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
He walked past his war tent, looking down at the lava flow as it settled back into the river of molten liquid close by. He shook his head in disappointment and kept going. Up ahead, he could see his sculptor putting the finishing touches on the gigantic statue of Lucifer.
Beelzebub stopped in front of the statue, putting his hands on his hips. “How is it going over here? It shouldn’t be too long until I get that statue in place, and you’ll be on.”
The sculptor wiped the statue down and turned it, since it was on a rolling board. Beelzebub nodded approvingly as his eyes cascaded down the piece of art. When he reached the crotch, his eyes bulged. “Uh… It looks really great. Really great. But, uh…does he need to be so big? I mean, Lucifer is cocky enough as it is. We don’t need to go adding fuel to that fire. It will only end poorly. “
Brock, Eddie, Turner, and their platoon got away from the lava and began to wander back through the city, looking at all the crushed beauty the demons had caused. They walked quietly, kicking rocks out of the way and occasionally stopping to check a building for survivors. So far, all the buildings were clear, which they couldn’t understand because the civilian count on the rich side of town hadn’t been nearly enough. Brock refused to believe that all of those people were buried under the lava.
The team rounded the corner and paused, finding a group of civilians standing together in the street ahead. They were armed with machetes, old rifles, and knives. There were young guys, a few older gentleman, and three strong women. They had no fear on their faces, and all Brock could do was crack a smile. That was what he was talking about: the citizens arming themselves with both weapons and courage. There definitely needed to be more of that going on across the world.
Brock walked up to them, and a tall forty-something man with large muscles and a tight tank top on slung his bat over his shoulder and reached out to shake Brock’s hand. “Name is Mateus. I’m the only one that speaks English. The rest speak Portuguese.”
Brock shook his hand hard. “Good to meet you. I’m Brock, commanding officer of the Army and Navy platoon out today. We should get you guys to safety.”
None of them wanted to go. Mateus spoke to them in Portuguese and then listened. When they were done, Mateus turned back to Brock. “We want to fight with you.”
Brock pursed his lips. On the one hand, it wasn’t in the rules for civilians. On the other, he didn’t want to discourage the people from taking a stand. He looked around for a bit, not seeing too many demons nearby. “All right. Join us.”
Mateus smirked and waved to a couple of the guys who were talking in Portuguese. “We heard there is a blue monster helping folks in the next neighborhood.”
Brock grinned. “I think I know who that might be.”
He waved to the group and his platoon turned, heading down the street toward the next neighborhood. Turner laughed next to Eddie. “I wonder who that blue guy could possibly be?”
Eddie played along. “Papa Smurf?”
Turner hissed through his teeth. “The blueberry kid from Willy Wonka?”
Eddie laughed, trying to keep his decorum. “No, probably a Viking warrior from the Blue Man Group. You know, with his blue skin and all.”
They all cackled as they headed through the abandoned streets. The guys were used to being loose and free on missions. They weren’t used to the seriousness of the air around them. They had to take care of a bunch of Damned, and now a bunch of civilians. Things were heating up out there for them, but they had come with a purpose, and they would make sure they helped end it all.
Beelzebub grunted, reaching forward and gripping the slippery rocks. He was heading to the lava falls to check in with his specialist. He hadn’t been back to the scene of the portals, and Beelzebub knew that to sustain the momentum, they would need a whole lot more demons to torture the people with. More than half of his original dump had burned to death in the lava release, but he had known that would probably be the case.
He made it to the top, panting, and rounded the corner. Instantly he froze, staring at Lucifer and Mania, their arms crossed.
Lucifer stepped forward, running his finger over one of the stones. “Do you have something to tell me, Beelzebub?”
The demon sniffed, looking out over the production set. “I decided to do a little fucking with Earth—for your glory, of course. Have you seen your statue? Your junk looks great. Very powerful.”
Lucifer smacked his lips, staring at him emotionlessly. “Fucking with Earth, huh? Well, I guess there is no harm in that, not if you are being careful with the angels.”
Beelzebub looked down at the ground. “Of course, Your Majesty.”
Lucifer steepled his fingers and pressed them to his lips. He breathed heavily for several moments, his eyes never leaving the demon. “I see you’ve been busy. I’d like to see your handiwork.”
Beelzebub perked up. “The statue? I’m sure we can have it moved over here so you don’t have to travel to see the splendor in the intricate details.”
Lucifer shook his head, glancing at
Mania. “No, Beelzebub, I don’t want to see the art. I want to see the city. You say you have put in the work, so show it to me.”
Beelzebub blinked at him for a moment before smiling. “Of course. I should have thought of that.”
He turned his back to Lucifer, a grin emerging. How lucky was that? He wanted to see what was going on. This would give him the perfect opportunity to take the throne. Send Lucifer to Earth, then lock all the entry and exit portals. It was just like he had imagined, only he didn’t think that it would be that soon after he attacked. For all intents and purposes, the war was still raging.
Beelzebub pulled open a giant portal and stepped back. Mania and Lucifer got on each side of Beelzebub and peered inside. The demon put out his hands excitedly. “Ta-da. There it is—the City of Lucifer. Or at least, that was what I had planned on calling it. Gotta make it simple since so many of the demons are as stupid as a box of rocks.
Mania snarled, looking at the chaos through the portal. The city was half burnt, flooded with lava, and overrun by demons. “That doesn’t look so royal.”
Lucifer put his arm around Mania’s shoulder. “No, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it. I like this mini town.”
The devil gripped the back of Beelzebub’s neck and shook him slightly. “I think you did a good job here, Beelzebub.”
Lucifer turned and began to pace. “Let me ask you this: have I ever told you how hard I had to work to become Lord of Hell? Do you even understand the basic regulations within hell?”
Beelzebub could tell that wasn’t a question he actually wanted him to answer. He was starting to get a bad feeling about the mood changing so quickly. Lucifer put his arms in the air. “It was a great war. A battle, really. I had to disobey the Creator, something I had zero problem accomplishing. However, in order to get this specific position, I had to prove myself more powerful than the other fallen angels and demons. Many demons died by my hand that night, but in the end, I was crowned, and I would continue to wear that crown for eternity. It was my greatest achievement, and continues to be so to this day.”
Beelzebub nodded. “Of course, My Lord. We all know the valiant behavior you exercised on that fateful day. You have been the most abhorrent of masters, and that is the greatest honor of all.”
Lucifer’s smile faded into a frown. “That is true, but do you know what really bothers me? The fact that now, as you creep from your dirty and dingy cave, you think you can take that away from me. You think for one second that you could handle ruling hell and everything in it? You would crumble in the first ten minutes, I promise you that. THIS IS MY DOMAIN!”
Lucifer’s voice echoed out across the lava stone. Beelzebub quaked in his armor, the sound of shaking metal audible to everyone. Lucifer lunged forward and grabbed Beelzebub by the top of his chest plate. He dragged him to the portal and held him over it. “This is your creation, not mine. Since you’re so dressed up, why don’t you go down first?”
Beelzebub shook his head. “No! No! Please!”
Lucifer bellowed as he tossed Beelzebub into the portal, watching him fall into Rio de Janeiro. He held his belly and laughed loudly as the demon crashed to Earth. He turned and waved his hand, and the portal in front of him snapped shut. “Now we close all of the portals, just as he was going to do to me. One way in, and absolutely no way out. If Beelzebub makes it back here, we’ll talk. Until then, let him play with Lilith. I’m sure she would love some fresh meat to throw around, especially one who is the epitome of a coward. Try to take my place without facing me demon to demon, and this is what happens to you.”
Mania smirked, squeezing his arm. “I love it when you’re maniacal. It’s so hot.”
22
Katie slashed her sword through the air, taking down two demons at once. They wobbled before bursting into ash. She walked over to Pandora, waiting until she finished beheading a demon that had jumped on her, spreading mud and soot all over her clothes.
Pandora snarled, ripping two of its arms off. “You think you can just roll up here and put your dirty fucking claws on me? Where are your motherfucking manners?”
She gripped the squirming, armless demon by the neck, her nails digging into its skin. She jammed her dagger into its chest, turning it slightly clockwise. When the demon didn’t die, she turned it again and again until she had carved a hole in its chest. Finally, it turned to dust, fluttering down to the ground.
Katie looked at her nails and giggled. “You get that out of your system?”
Pandora whirled, using the back of her hand to push her hair out of her face. “Damn straight I did.”
Just then there was a loud crack in the sky. They both looked up, Katie pulling her sword back out. “Please don’t be a fucking river of lava again.”
The portal spread open and they both leaned forward, squinting as three sets of red eyes looked down from the portal. Pandora stepped forward. “Wait a minute… I know those eyes.”
Both of them jerked back as a huge demon came hurtling through the portal, falling head over feet and slamming into a building. Katie groaned. “That’s the modern art museum, dammit!”
Pandora blinked, tilting her head to the side. “I would worry less about the sculptures of someone’s armpit and more about what just fell from the fucking sky.”
The demon sat up, shaking the dirt and debris from his head. They watched from a distance as he groaned, pulling himself up to his foot. Katie couldn’t believe her eyes. “Wait, does that demon have a peg-leg?”
Pandora snickered. “A fucking pirate demon? Who knew? Looks like he walked the plank.”
Katie sneered. “Yeah, right into a museum in downtown Rio.”
Pandora clapped, finding the situation amusing. “Oh, look. Blackbeard is rising from the ashes.”
They stood back and watched as he stumbled into the street, looking around and rubbing his head. He was dressed in armor of some sort, and he had a hell-forged sword on his hip. It swung there, clinking against his metal peg leg and ringing out like a church bell. He didn’t watch where he walked, crushing cars, crushing demons, and looking around as if he were lost.
Katie raised an eyebrow and glanced at Pandora. “That dude is like thirty feet tall, but he’s walking around like the old folks’ home lost another patient.”
Pandora laughed. “Or like the first time I stepped out of your body, only much bigger and with a smaller set of balls.”
Katie’s lips pressed together tightly as she attempted not to look at them. “I am pretty sure you hold the record for biggest balls, so there’s that. Come on, let’s take a nice little flight overhead. Maybe he’s one of the demons I’ve seen in hell when we’ve been there. At least we’ll know what kind of powers he might have.”
Pandora spread her wings. “Who knows, maybe he just came down because he tripped over something and fell in? We can show him Krispy Kreme or something.”
Katie took off. “Yeah, right, and me and Lucifer are most likely going to be best of friends. He may look like he hit his head too hard, but he’s carrying a sword bigger than Juntto’s.”
They flew high over the top of him, making sure to stay out of his reach. Katie furrowed her brow as they swooped a little lower. “No. I don’t recognize him.”
Pandora narrowed her eyes, her brow lowering and her body stiffening. “That armor—that is so old-school. Like centuries old, when the demons were waging war against angels and shit. He’s old as hell.”
Katie crossed her arms as she flew, staring down at him. “So maybe the Hell Senior Center lost a patient.”
Pandora didn’t say anything, not even hearing Katie laughing. “Wait a minute, I know that old-ass face. Holy shit. Is that Beelzebub? I thought he was fucking banished for an eternity.”
Katie scoffed. “Only one eternity? Lightweight.”
Pandora grabbed Katie’s arm and pulled her away. They flew across the road and landed on the top of a building. Pandora paced, tapping her fingertips together. “Beelzebub was once
Lucifer’s top commander of hell’s army. He sat proudly at the head of the council, and he was respected, revered, and even worshipped by the demons. His tactics were cruel even by hell’s standards, but this only pleased Lucifer even more.”
Katie could tell Pandora was serious about this. “So why was he banished?”
Pandora shrugged. “It was a multitude of fuck-ups. Leading soldiers to Earth without permission, creating attack plans that ended in thousands of demons slaughtered by angels, and general defiance when he became far too comfortable with Lucifer. He is and has always been power hungry, and I would bet my left tit that he didn’t fall in here. I recognized those eyes. Motherfucker was thrown down here.”
Katie watched as he stomped through the city, knocking down tops of buildings as his confusion faded and he began to rage wildly. She pulled out her sword and walked to the edge of the building. Putting one foot up on the ledge, she pointed her sword toward him in the distance. “I don’t give two fucks who he is. To me, he’s just another problem. I’m going to take him out.”
She leapt off the side of the building and started flying toward him. Pandora sighed and shook her head. “Hold up, girl. Hold my rings. I’ve got your fucking back.”
Juntto grunted, sliding on his knees across the asphalt and spearing several demons in a row. He jumped back to his feet and whirled around, sending the demons on his spear flying through the air, slamming into living ones and exploding into ash. He cackled as he ran toward a large group, swan-diving right into them. He rolled over with a smile, throwing punches right and left. “Come on, bitches. This is child’s play. Show me what you got in that ugly-ass demon body.”
One of the demons dove on top of him and Juntto laughed wildly. He grabbed the demon by the neck and held him high. Suddenly the sound of a gunshot rang out very close by. Juntto jumped as the demon’s head exploded, his body slowly turning to ash and sliding out of his hands like sand. Shot after shot rang out, and Juntto put his arms over his head and balled up, unsure of where they were coming from.
