by Various
CHAPTER XVI--HOW SORROW CAME ON NORMAN LESLIE, AND JOY THEREAFTER
It little concerns any man to know how I slowly recovered my health aftercertain failings back into the shadow of death. Therefore I need nottell how I was physicked, and bled, and how I drew on from a diet of milkto one of fish, and so to a meal of chicken's flesh, till at last I couldsit, wrapped up in many cloaks, on a seat in the garden, below a greatmulberry tree. In all this weary time I knew little, and for long caredless, as to what went on in the world and the wars. But so soon as Icould speak it was of Elliot that I devised, with my kind nurse,Charlotte Boucher, the young daughter of Jacques Boucher, the Duke'streasurer, in whose house I lay. She was a fair lass, and merry of mood,and greatly hove up my heart to fight with my disease. It chanced that,as she tended me, when I was at my worst, she marked, hanging on a silkenstring about my neck, a little case of silver artfully wrought, whereinwas that portrait of my mistress, painted by me before I left Chinon.Being curious, like all girls, and deeming that the case held some relic,she opened it, I knowing nothing then of what she did. But when I waswell enough to lie abed and devise with her, it chanced that I wasplaying idly with my fingers about the silver case.
"Belike," said Charlotte, "that is some holy relic, to which, maybe, youowe your present recovery. Surely, when you are whole again, you havevowed a pilgrimage to the shrine of the saint, your friend?" Here shesmiled at me gaily, for she was a right merry damsel, and a goodly.
"Nay," she said, "I have done more for you than your physician, seeingthat I, or the saint you serve, have now brought the red colour intothese wan cheeks of yours. Is she a Scottish saint, then? perchance St.Margaret, of whom I have read? Will you not let me look at the sacredthing?"
"Nay," said I. "Methinks, from your smiling, that you have takenopportunity to see my treasure before to-day, being a daughter of ourmother Eve."
"She is very beautiful," said Charlotte; "nay, show her to me again!"
With that I pressed the spring and opened the case, for there is no loverbut longs to hear his lady commended, and to converse about her. Yet Ihad spoken no word, for my part, about her beauty, having heard say thathe who would be well with one woman does ill to praise another in herpresence.
"Beautiful, indeed, she is," said Charlotte. "Never have I seen sucheyes, and hair like gold, and a look so gracious! And for thy pilgrimageto the shrine of this fair saint, where does she dwell?"
I told her at Chinon, or at Tours, or commonly wheresoever the Courtmight be, for that her father was the King's painter.
"And you love her very dearly?"
"More than my life," I said. "And may the saints send you, demoiselle,as faithful a lover, to as fair a lady."
"Nay," she said, reddening. "This is high treason, and well you wot thatyou hold no lady half so fair as your own. Are you Scots sosmooth-spoken? You have not that repute. Now, what would you give tosee that lady?"
"All that I have, which is little but my service and goodwill. But sheknows not where I am, nor know I how she fares, which irks me more thanall my misfortunes. Would that I could send a letter to her father, andtell him how I do, and ask of their tidings."
"The Dauphin is at Tours," she said, "and there is much coming and goingbetween Tours and this town. For the Maid is instant with the Dauphin toride forthwith to Reims, and there be sacred and crowned; but now helistens and believes, and anon his counsellors tell him that this isfoolhardy, and a thing impossible."
"O they of little faith!" I said, sighing.
"None the less, word has come that the Maid has been in her oratory atprayers, and a Voice from heaven has called to her, saying, 'Fille deDieu, va, va, va! Je serai en ton aide. Va!' {27} The Dauphin is muchconfirmed in his faith by this sign, and has vowed that he will indeedmarch with the Maid to Reims, though his enemies hold all that countrywhich lies between. But first she must take the towns which the Englishhold on Loire side, such as Jargeau. Now on Jargeau, while you layknowing nothing, the Bastard of Orleans, and Xaintrailles, and other goodknights, made an onslaught, and won nothing but loss for their pains,though they slew Messire Henry Bisset, the captain of the town. But ifthe Maid takes Jargeau, the Dauphin will indeed believe in her and followher."
"He is hard of heart to believe, and would that I were where he shouldbe--under her holy pennon, for thereon, at least, I should see the facepainted of my lady. But how does all this bring me nearer the hope ofhearing about her, and how she fares?"
"There are many messengers coming and going to Tours, for the Dauphin isgathering force under the Maid, and has set the fair Duc d'Alencon to beher lieutenant, with the Bastard, and La Hire, and Messire Florentd'Illiers. And all are to be here in Orleans within few days; whereforenow write to the father of thy lady, and I will myself write to her."With that she gave me paper and pen, and I indited a letter to my master,telling him how I had lain near to death of my old wound, in Orleans, andthat I prayed him of his goodness to let me know how he did, and to layme at the feet of my lady. Then Charlotte showed me her letter, whereinshe bade Elliot know that I had hardly recovered, after winning much fame(for so she said) and a ransom of gold from an English prisoner, whichnow lay in the hands of her father, the Duke's treasurer. Then she saidthat a word from Elliot, not to say the sight of her face, the fairest inthe world (a thing beyond hope), would be of more avail for my healingthan all the Pharaoh powders of the apothecaries. These, in truth, I hadnever taken, but put them away secretly, as doubting whether suchmedicaments, the very dust of the persecuting Egyptian and idolatrousrace, were fit for a Christian to swallow, with any hope of a blessing.Thus my kind nurse ended, calling herself my lady's sister in the love ofFrance and of the Maid, and bidding my lady be mindful of so true alover, who lay sick for a token at her hands. These letters she sealed,and intrusted to Colet de Vienne, the royal messenger, the same who rodefrom Vaucouleurs to Chinon, in the beginning of the Maid's mission, andwho, as then, was faring to Tours with letters from Orleans.
Meanwhile all the town was full of joy, in early June, because the Maidwas to visit the city, with D'Alencon and the Bastard, on her way tobesiege Jargeau. It was June the ninth, in the year of our Lord fourteenhundred and twenty-nine, the sun shining warm in a clear blue sky, andall the bells of Orleans a-ringing, to welcome back the Maiden. I myselfsat in the window, over the doorway, alone with Charlotte sitting by myside, for her father had gone to the Hotel de Ville, with her mother, towelcome the captains. Below us were hangings of rich carpets, to makethe house look gay, for every house was adorned in the best manner, andflags floated in the long street, and flowers strewed the road, to dohonour to our deliverer. Thus we waited, and presently the sound ofmusic filled the air, with fragrance of incense, for the priests werewalking in front, swinging censers and chanting the Te Deum laudamus. Andthen came a company of girls strewing flowers, and fair boys blowing ontrumpets, and next, on a black horse, in white armour, with a hucque ofscarlet broidered with gold, the blessed Maid herself, unhelmeted,glancing every way with her happy eyes, while the women ran to touch herarmour with their rings, as to a saint, and the men kissed her mailedfeet.
To be alive, and to feel my life returning in a flood of strength and joyin that sweet air, with the gladness of the multitude pulsing through itas a man's heart beats in his body, seemed to me like Paradise. But outof Paradise our first parents were driven long ago, as anon I was to befrom mine. For, as the Maid passed, I doffed my cap and waved it, sinceto shout "Noel" with the rest, I dared not, because of my infirmity. Now,it so fell that, glancing around, she saw and knew me, and bowed to me,with a gesture of her hand, as queenly as if she, a manant's child, hadbeen a daughter of France. At that moment, noting the Maid's courtesytowards me, Charlotte stood up from beside me, with a handful of redroses, which she threw towards her. As it chanced, belike because shewas proud to be with one whom the Maid honoured, or to steady herself asshe threw, she laid her left hand about my neck, and so standing,
casther flowers, and then looked laughing back into my eyes, with a happyface. The roses missed the Maid, whose horse caracoled at that moment asshe went by, but they lit in the lap of a damsel that rode at her rein,on a lyart {28} palfrey, and she looking up, I saw the face of Elliot,and Elliot saw me, and saw Charlotte leaning on me and laughing. ThenElliot's face grew deadly pale, her lower lip stiff, as when she wasangered with me at Chinon, and so, wrying her neck suddenly to the left,she rode on her way, nor ever looked towards us again.
"Who may that proud damsel be, and what ails her at my roses?" quothCharlotte, sitting herself down again and still following them with hereyes. "Methinks I have seen her face before; and what ails you?" sheasked, looking earnestly on me, "for you are as white as the last snowere it melts in spring."
I had good reason to be pale, for I very well guessed that Elliot, havingridden in the Maiden's company to see me, and to surprise me with theunlooked-for gladness of her coming, had marked Charlotte as she soinnocently leaned on me and laughed to me, and had conceived angeragainst us both, for of a truth Charlotte was very fair and of a joyousaspect. Yet, taken so suddenly as I was, between the extreme of delightin looking on my lady beyond hope, and the very deep of sorrow that shehad so bitterly slighted me, I was yet wary of betraying myself. For thegirl beside me had, in all honest and maidenly service that woman may dofor man, been kinder to me than a sister, and no thought or word ofearthly love had ever passed between us. That she should wot of Elliot'sanger, and of its cause, and so hold my lady lightly, ay, and triumphover her in her heart (as is the nature of a woman, her ministry beingthus churlishly repaid), was more than I could endure. So, may thesaints forgive me! I lied, and it is a strange thing, but true, thathowsoever a gentleman may hate the very thought of a lie, yet often hefinds it hard to tell the truth to a woman.
"Do I look white?" I said. "Then it is because I have a sudden pang ofsorrow. For one moment I deemed that proud damsel was the lady of mylove, whom, in verity, she most strangely favours, so that you mightthink them sisters. But alas! she is but the daughter of a good Scotsknight at Chinon, whom I have seen there before to-day, and marvelled howmuch she and my lady favour each other. Therefore am I pale, becausethat hope of mine is broken. And you know her face, belike, from my poorpicture of my lady."
Charlotte looked at me steadily, and flushed red; but even then, one whorode by among the men-at-arms noted me, and, waving his arm towards me,cried in a loud voice--
"Hail, fair son, soon will I be with thee!" and so, turning in his saddleto watch me, he laughed a loud laugh and rode onwards. He was my master,and as my eyes followed him, Charlotte spoke.
"And who is that great Scot, with his Scots twang of the tongue, whocalled you 'son'? By the Mass, she was your lady, and yonder wight isher father, of whom you have spoken to me more than once"; for, indeed, Ihad told her all the story of my loves.
Then I was confused, for I could no longer deny the truth, and not havingone word to say, I sighed from my heart.
"O faint-spirited man-at-arms!" cried Charlotte, blushing, and laughingas if some exquisite jest were abroad. "Do you so terribly dread yourmistress's anger? Nay, be of good cheer! Me she will never forgivewhile the world stands; for have I not been your nurse, and won you backto life and to her service? And has she not seen us twain together inone place, and happy, because of the coming of the Maid? She will pardonme never, because, also for my sake, she has been wroth with you, andshown you her wrath, and all without a cause. Therefore she will beashamed, and all the more cruel. Nay, nor would I forgive her, in thesame case, if it befell me, for we women are all alike, hearts of wolveswhen we love! Hast thou never marked a cat that had kittens, or abrachet that had whelps, how they will fly at man or horse that drawsnear their brood, even unwittingly. And so, when we love, are we all,and the best of us are then the worst. Verily the friendship of you andme is over and done; but for your part be glad, not sorry, for with allher heart and soul she loves you. Else she had not been angered."
"You must not speak, nor I hear, such words of my lady," I said; "it isnot seemly."
"Such words of your lady, and of Aymeric's lady, and of Giles's lady, andof myself were I any man's lady, as I am no man's lady, I will think andspeak," said Charlotte, "for my words are true, and we maids are, atbest, pretty fools, and God willed us to be so for a while, and then tobe wiser than the rest of you. For, were we not pretty, would you wedus? and were we not fools, would we wed you? and where would God's worldbe then? But now you have heard enough of my wisdom: for I love no man,being very wise; or you have heard enough of my folly that my mirth bidsme speak, as you shall deem it. And now, we must consider how this greatfeud may be closed, and the foes set at one again."
"Shall I find out her lodgings, and be carried thither straightway in alitter? Her heart may be softened when she sees that I cannot walk ormount a horse?"
"Now, let me think what I should deem, if I had ridden by, unlooked for,and spied my lover with a maid, not unfriendly, or perchance uncomely,sitting smiling in a gallant balcony. Would I be appeased when he camestraight to seek me, borne in a litter? Would I--?" And she mused, herfinger at her mouth, and her brow puckered, but with a smile on her lipsand in her eyes.
Then I, seeing her so fair, yet by me so undesired; and beholding her somerry, while my heart was amazed with the worst sorrow, and considering,too, that but for her all this would never have been, but I sitting happyby my lady's side,--thinking on all this, I say, I turned from herangrily, as if I would leave the balcony.
"Nay, wait," she cried, "for I must see all the show out, and here comethe Scots Guard, thy friends, and I need time to take counsel with mywisdom on this weighty matter. See, they know you"; and, indeed, many aman in that gallant array waved his hand to me merrily, as they filedpast under their banners--the Douglas's bloody heart, the Crescent moonof Harden, the Napier's sheaf of spears, the blazons of Lindsays andLeslies, Homes, and Hepburns, and Stuarts. It was a sight to put lifeinto the dying breast of a Scot in a strange country, and all were strongmen and young, ruddy and brown of cheek, high of heart and heavy of hand.And most beckoned to me, and pointed onwards to that way whither theywere bound, in chase of fame and fortune. All this might have made asick man whole, but my spirit was dead within me, so that I could scarcebeckon back to them, or even remember their faces.
"Would I forgive you," said Charlotte, after she had thrown the remnantof her roses to her friends among the Scots, "if you hurried to me, pale,and borne in a litter? Nay, methinks not, or not for long; and then Ishould lay it on you never to see her face again;--she is I, you know,for the nonce. But if you waited and did not come, then my pride mightyield at length, and I send for you. But then, if so, methinks I wouldhate her (that is, me) more than ever. Oh, it is a hard case when maidsare angry!"
"You speak of yourself, how you would do this or that; but my lady isother than you, and pitiful. Did she not come all these leagues at aword from me, hearing that I was sick?"
"At a word from you, good youth! Nay, at a word from me! Did you speakof me in your letter to her father?"
"Nay!" said I.
"You did well. And therefore it was that I wrote, for I knew she wouldmove heaven and earth and the Maid or she would come when she heard ofanother lass being in your company. Nay, trust me, we women understandeach other, and she would ask the Maid, who lodged here with us, whatmanner of lass I was to look upon, and the Maid's answer would bringher."
"You have been kind," I said. "And to you and the saints I owe it that Iyet live to carry a sore heart and be tormented with your ill tongue."
"And had you heard that a fair young knight, and renowned in arms, laysick at your lady's house, she nursing him, would you not have cast aboutfor ways of coming to her?"
To this I answered nothing, but, with a very sour countenance, was risingto go, when my name was called in the street.
Looking down, I saw my master, who doffed his cap to the
daughter of thehouse, and begging leave to come up, fastened his horse's bridle to thering in the wall, by the door.
Up he came, whom Charlotte welcomed very demurely, and so left us, sayingthat she must go about her household business; but as she departed shecast a look back at me, making a "moue," as the French say, with her redlips.
"Well, my son," cried my master, taking my hand, "why so pale? Sure thouhast had a sore bout, but thou art mending."
I could but stammer my lady's name--
"Elliot--shall I see her soon?"
He scratched his rough head and pulled his russet beard, and so laughedshamefacedly.
"Why, lad, to that very end she came, and now--St. Anthony's fire take meif I well know why--she will none of it. The Maid brought us in hercompany, for, as you know, she will ever have young lasses with her whenshe may, and as far as Orleans the roads are safe. And who so glad asElliot when the Maid put this command on her, after we got thy letter? Imyself was most eager to ride, not only for your sake, but to see howOrleans stood after the long pounding. But when we had come to ourlodging, and I was now starting off to greet you, Elliot made no motionof rising. Nay, when I bade her make haste, she said that haste therewas none; and when I, marvelling, asked, 'Wherefore?' answered that shewas loth to spoil good company, and had seen you, as I did myself, happyenough with the lass who nursed you, and who had written to her."
"And wherefore, in Heaven's name, should we not be happy on such a day asthis was an hour agone? But now the sun is out of the sky."
"I see him plainer than ever I did in the Merse," said my master, lookingup where the sun was bright in the west. "But what would you? Womenhave been thus since Eve had a daughter, for our father Adam, I trow, hadno trouble with other ladies than his wife--and that was trouble enough."
"But how am I to make my peace, and win my pardon, being innocent as Iam?"
"Faith, I know not!" said he, and laughed again, which angered me somedeal, for what was there to laugh at?
"May I let bring a litter, for I cannot yet walk, and so go back with youto her?"
"Indeed, I doubt if it were wise," said he; and so we stood gazing ateach other, while I could have wept for very helpless anger. "I have it,I think," said he at last. "The Maid is right busy, as needs must be,gathering guns and food for her siege of Jargeau. But it is not fittingthat she should visit Orleans without seeing you, nor would she wish tobe so negligent. Yet if she were, I would put it in her mind, and then,when you are with her, which Elliot shall not know, I will see thatElliot comes into the chamber, and so leave all to you, and to her, andto the Maid. For she hath great power with that silly wench of mine, whohas no other desire, I trow, than a good excuse to be rid of her suddenanger. If she loved you less, she would be never so fiery."
I myself could see no better hope or comfort.
Then he began to devise with me on other matters, and got from me thestory of my great peril at the hands of Brother Thomas. He laughed atthe manner of my outwitting that miscreant, who had never been taken, butwas fled none knew whither, and my master promised to tell the tale tothe Maid, and warn her against this enemy. And so bidding me be of goodcheer, he departed; but for my part, I went into my chamber, drew thebolt, and cast myself on the bed, refusing meat or drink, or to see theface of man or woman.
I was devoured by a bitter anger, considering how my lady had used me,and what was most sore of all, reflecting that I could no longer hold herfor a thing all perfect, and almost without touch of mortal infirmity.Nay, she was a woman like another, and unjust, and to deem thus of herwas to me the most cruel torment. We could never forgive each the other,so it seemed to me, nor be again as we had been. And all the next day nomessage came for me, and I kept myself quiet, apart in my chamber. Lestthey who read mock at me in their hearts, and at my lady, let themremember how young we both were, and how innocent of other experience inlove. For the Roman says that "the angers of lovers are love's renewal,"as the brief tempests of April bring in the gladness of May. But in myheart it was all white sleet, and wind, and snow unseasonable, and so Ilay, out of all comfort, tossing on my bed.
I heard the watchmen call the hours through the night, and very early,having at length fallen on sleep, I was wakened by a messenger from theMaid. It was her page, Louis de Coutes, most richly attired, but stillhalf asleep, grumbling, and rubbing his eyes.
"My mistress bids you come with me instantly," he said, when we hadsaluted each other, "and I have brought a litter and men to carry it.Faith, if I lay in it, I should be asleep ere ever they had borne me tenpaces. What a life it is that I lead! Late to bed and up by prime, sobusy is my mistress; and she lives as it were without sleep, and feeds onair."
Here he threw himself down in a great chair, and verily, by the time Ihad washed and attired myself, I had to shake him by the shoulder toarouse him. Thus I was carried to the Maid's lodging, my heart beatinglike a hammer with hopes and fears.
We found her already armed, for that day she was to ride to Jargeau, andnone was with her but her confessor. She gave me the best of greetings,and bade me eat bread and drink wine. "And soon," she said, "if yourecover the quicker, I trust to give you wine to drink in Paris."
She herself dipped a crust in wine and water, and presently, bidding herconfessor, Pasquerel, wait for her in the little oratory, she asked mehow I did, and told me what fear she had been in for me, as touchingBrother Thomas, when she learned who he was, yet herself could not returnfrom the field to help me.
"But now," said she, smiling with a ravishing sweetness, "I hear you arein far greater peril from a foe much harder and more cruel--ma mieElliot. Ah! how you lovers put yourselves in jeopardy, and take me frommy trade of war to play the peacemaker! Surely I have chosen the saferpath in open breach and battle, though would that my war was ended, and Isitting spinning again beside my dear mother." Hereon her face grew moretender and sad than ever I had seen it, and there came over meforgetfulness of my private grief, as of a little thing, and longing toride at the Maiden's rein, where glory was to be won.
"Would that even now I could march with you," I said; and she, smiling,made answer--
"That shall yet be; yea, verily," and here the fashion of her countenancealtered wondrously, "I know, and know not how I know, that thou shalt bewith me when all have forsaken me and fled."
Then she fell silent, and I also, marvelling on her face and on the wordswhich she spoke. There came a light tap at the door, and she awoke as itwere from a trance which possessed her. She drew her hands over herface, with a long sigh; she knelt down swiftly, and crossed herself,making an obeisance, for I deem that her saints had been with her,wherefore I also crossed myself and prayed. Then she rose and cried"Enter!" and ere I could speak she had passed into the oratory, and I wasalone with Elliot.
Elliot gave one low cry, and cast her arms about my neck, hiding her faceon my breast, and sobbing as if her heart would break.
"I have been mad, I have been bad!" she moaned. "Oh! say hard words tome, and punish me, my love."
But I had no word to say, only I fell back into a great chair for veryweakness, holding my lady in my arms.
And thus, with words few enough, but great delight, the minutes wentpast, till she lifted her wet face and her fragrant hair; and betweenlaughing and crying, studied on my face and caressed me, touching my thincheek, and wept and laughed again. "I was mad," she whispered; "itseemed as if a devil entered into me. But She spoke to me and cast himout, and she bade me repent."
"And do penance," I said, kissing her till she laughed again, saying thatI was a hard confessor, and that the Maid had spoken no word of penances.
"Yet one I must do and suffer," she said, "and it is more difficult to methan these austerities of thine."
Here her face grew very red, and she hid it with her hands.
"What mean you?" I asked, wondering.
"I must see her, and thank her for all her kindness to thee."
"The Maid?
" I asked.
"Nay, that other, thy--fair nurse. Nay, forbid me not, I have sworn itto myself, and I must go. And the Maiden told me, when I spoke of it,that it was no more than right." Then she threw her arms about me again,in the closest embrace, and hid her head. Now, this resolve of hers gaveme no little cause of apprehension, as not knowing well how things mightpass in such an encounter of two ladies. But even then one touched me onthe shoulder from behind, and the Maid herself stood beside us.
"O joy!" she said, "my peacemaking has been blessed! Go, you foolishfolk, and sin no more, and peace and happiness be with you, long years,and glad children at your knees. Yet hereof I know nothing from mycounsel. And now I must go forth about the Dauphin's business, and to dothat for which I was sent. They that brought thee in the litter willcarry thee back again; so farewell."
Thus saying, she stooped and kissed Elliot, who leaped up and caught theMaid in her arms, and they embraced, and parted for that time, Elliotweeping to lose her, and at the thought of the dangers of war.
