She couldn’t have been more stunned if she’d seen a ghost. Then again, she supposed she had, for Tanner Bridwell stood before her.
He looked different. The beard was gone, but she’d have known him and those arresting steel-gray eyes anywhere. How could she not, when she’d spent endless hours gazing into them and countless nights dreaming about them?
“What are you doing here?” she blurted out.
His stare hardened, and he replied with a question of his own. “Is the baby mine?”
* * *
JEWEL’S FACE HAD always been easy to read, the subtle nuances clearly telegraphing her every emotion. There was hardly a time Tanner had been unaware of her thoughts, especially when it came to her feelings for him.
Today was no different. Except trepidation had replaced the love he’d once seen.
He’d reconciled himself to Jewel no longer being a part of his life. Spotting her standing at the end of the barn aisle, a baby in her arms, he’d sworn his imagination was playing tricks on him. As he’d approached, he’d realized it wasn’t his imagination, and the wall enclosing his heart had split wide open to release a flood of emotions. Surprise. Shock. Confusion. Joy. Hurt. Even anger. How dare she have a baby, their baby, and not tell him! Regardless of what had passed between them, he deserved to know. He had a right to know.
He was no expert at judging children’s ages, so doing the math was pointless. His gut, however, insisted he was the father of this one. The tiny cleft in her chin bolstered his conviction. Until he’d shaved his beard, few people had known he, too, sported a similar cleft.
“Tanner...” Jewel stood utterly still, her gaze taking him in.
“Is the baby mine?” he repeated, even though he was certain of the answer. He needed to hear her say yes. Or, more accurately, he needed to see if she’d try and deny it.
“She is.”
He let the information sink in before responding. “We need to talk.”
“I’m meeting the owner of Sweetheart Ranch in forty minutes.”
Surprise nearly knocked him sideways. “You’re getting married?”
Sweetheart Ranch was a destination wedding venue and bed-and-breakfast that had opened last fall. Their selling point was providing couples with the full cowboy experience for their ceremony and honeymoon.
“Ah, no,” she stammered. “I’m starting work there. As a part-time photographer.”
Tanner shouldn’t have been relieved. He had no claim on Jewel. Not after what happened between them. But he was vastly relieved, nonetheless. He told himself he’d rather she was commitment free until they sorted out their situation, but that was only half true.
Then again, just because she wasn’t getting married didn’t automatically make her single. She could have a boyfriend. A woman as attractive as Jewel, with hair the color of honey and the most expressive brown eyes he’d ever seen, would catch the attention of any man. She’d filled out some, he noticed, and on her, the curves looked good.
“The job’s temporary,” she said. “I’m returning to Oklahoma after the holidays.”
The baby waved her arms in the air as if to get Tanner’s attention. She was a cute little thing, with her big blue eyes and button nose peeking out from beneath her pink hood.
“More reason for us to talk now.” He hitched his chin toward the large open entryway. “My bunkhouse is over there. We can have some privacy.”
“I’d rather go somewhere else.”
Was she worried about being alone with him? The possibility bothered Tanner, but he let it slide. “There’s an old bench around the corner.”
“I don’t have long.”
“Are you making excuses, Jewel?”
“No, Tanner. I’m not.” A hint of irritation tinged her voice. “I just don’t want to be late.”
“Fifteen minutes. You owe me that much.” Before she could issue a comeback about him failing her, he said, “I’m the father of our child.”
“Fine,” she answered tightly, her arm circling the baby. “Fifteen minutes.”
“This way.”
He walked beside her, the air between them thick with tension. Both remained stubbornly mute.
At the bench, Tanner waited while Jewel sat and unbundled the baby. When she was done and the baby was positioned securely on her lap, Tanner dropped down beside her. There wasn’t a lot of room, and they had to sit close. She shifted away from him when their knees bumped.
How different from before, when they would have nestled together, fingers linked and sharing kisses. They might now have been happily wed and raising their daughter together had Tanner made a different decision last December. But he hadn’t and, as a result, he’d lost almost everything important to him. Jewel, his home, his career, his friends. Also, it now seemed, a daughter he might have gone his entire life without knowing if not for a twist of fate.
What was the old saying? No good deed goes unpunished? Tanner was living proof. And he couldn’t tell Jewel the truth—that he hadn’t cheated—without breaking his promise to his dad and older brother.
The price that had once seemed minor had turned out to be significant, and Tanner was weary of paying.
“You’re a wrangler?” she asked.
“Technically, I’m assistant barn manager. Small difference.”
Watching her expression, he guessed at what she was thinking. Tanner, a wrangler and living in a bunkhouse? He’d been raised with money and had wanted for nothing. His dad’s commercial real estate firm was the fourth largest in the Phoenix metropolitan area.
Tanner and his brother had one day planned to join their dad’s firm when they retired from bull riding. One more thing he’d lost. Having a confessed cheater on the company’s board of directors, his dad had explained, even when that person was innocent, was bad for business. They’d figure something else out. Eventually. For now, Tanner’s brother came first. He understood, yes?
There were days he wished he didn’t and came this close to telling his dad off. Then, he’d remember his brother, Daniel, his lifelong best friend and staunch supporter, and how their roles had reversed on the day Daniel received his terrible diagnosis.
Tanner set the unhappy memories momentarily aside and concentrated on Jewel. “What are you doing at Powell Ranch?”
“Taking barrel riding lessons from Ronnie. What are you doing here?” Jewel countered. “And where have you been the last year?”
He tolerated her animosity without responding. After all, she believed him guilty of attempting to bribe that bull riding judge and blamed him for ruining their wedding, not to mention their relationship.
“Ethan Powell gave me a job.”
Tanner had been a teenager and competing on the junior rodeo circuit when he first met Ethan. Though nine years his senior, the former bronc busting champion had taken an interest in both Tanner and his brother and mentored them. They’d stayed in touch all these years.
“I’m surprised no one’s recognized you,” Jewel said. “There’s a lot of rodeo people coming and going in Mustang Valley.”
“I keep to myself.” Tanner ran a hand over his clean-shaven jaw. “And getting rid of the beard helped. I always wear a hat and sunglasses whenever anyone who might recognize me comes to the ranch. Like Ronnie. Ethan runs interference for me, too.”
“I see,” Jewel commented dryly.
“I needed a place to stay for a couple of months, away from all the negative attention after...everything.” Tanner didn’t bother elaborating. Reminiscing wouldn’t benefit either of them. “Ethan offered both.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You made it clear you didn’t care where I went or what I did.”
“Point taken,” she bit out.
“I don’t want to argue, Jewel.”
After a moment, she softened marginally around t
he edges. “It’s been a year. Why are you still here?”
“Dad’s idea.” Tanner’s gut clenched as it did every time he talked about their agreement. “He’s convinced I can be sued by the arena owners or that his company can be sued because I’m listed as a minority stockholder.”
As was Tanner’s brother, Daniel, which increased the risk to Bridwell and Associates even more if the truth were to ever come out. Daniel shouldn’t have been allowed to compete in his condition. He’d put himself and others in jeopardy. By Tanner confessing, he took the heat rather than Daniel.
“Sue you for what?” Jewel asked.
“Breach of contract. Damages due to loss of income and tarnished reputation. You remember those calf ropers who were caught cheating a few years ago? They were sued by the arena owners and settled for an undisclosed amount. Anyway, Dad thinks it’s in our best interests if I continue to lie low for another year. According to the company attorney, the arena owners have a two-year window to file a lawsuit.”
Twelve more long grueling months that, with the unexpected appearance of Jewel and their baby, felt even longer and more grueling to Tanner.
“Don’t you think if the arena owners were going to come after you, they’d have done so by now?” she asked.
“Yeah, I do. But not Dad and not his attorney. According to them, we should err on the side of caution.”
Suddenly, the baby started fussing. Reaching into her jacket pocket, Jewel extracted a neon purple toy shaped like a dumbbell, which she waved in front of the baby’s face.
“What’s her name?” Tanner asked.
“Ava.”
“After your grandmother.”
“You remember.”
“She always liked me.”
“She still does.” Jewel’s lips compressed into a thin line. “She insists there must have been a mistake. That you would never cheat.”
“Huh. You don’t say?”
Tanner mentally chewed on that. Jewel’s grandmother believed him innocent but not Jewel. She’d immediately assumed the worst and issued him his walking papers. Not that he could have explained in that moment. Still, she might have trusted him a little. He had asked her to give him time, promising he’d reveal the whole story eventually. It still rankled him that she hadn’t—made worse by him learning she’d hidden his daughter from him.
“I really wish you’d told me about Ava,” he said.
“I tried my best. I contacted everyone I could think of, including your parents and the Powells, and asked if they knew where you were. I even hired a private investigator for a week, but he was expensive, and I couldn’t afford him. Right after that, I had several scary moments with my pregnancy.”
“What kind of scary moments?” Tanner’s knowledge was limited, but he had an idea.
“Cramping. Bleeding. I nearly miscarried and was on doctor’s orders to rest and avoid stress. Since searching for you was stressful, I quit. I had to put the baby first.”
“If Mom and Dad knew about Ava, they’d have gotten word to me.”
Jewel’s spine straightened. “Are you blaming their refusal to reveal your whereabouts on me?”
“A baby is big news.”
“I explicitly said I had something important to tell you.”
“They’re protective.” And were employing damage control, especially where Bridwell and Associates was concerned. “Dad thought that you might have been in cahoots with the arena owners and trying to trick him into revealing my location.”
“I don’t lie.”
Implying that Tanner did.
She was right, sadly. He did lie. He’d confessed to a wrong he hadn’t committed. His father had conceived the idea, his seriously ill brother had begged him, and Tanner had gone along with them.
“Don’t be mad at my folks. I had a rough time after what happened, and they were looking out for me.”
“You had a rough time?” Jewel nearly erupted off the bench and might have if not for the baby. “I was the one questioned by the PRCA and the arena officials. The one hounded for interviews. The one whose picture appeared in newspapers and magazines and all over the internet.”
Technically, Tanner’s picture had appeared, too. He’d also been questioned extensively by the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association and the arena owners. He didn’t correct her, however.
“The one bombarded with questions by literally everyone and forced to endure slurs and accusations and dirty looks. Oh, and pitying looks. Those were the worst.” She drew in a ragged breath. “I was the one who had to explain to my family and our friends that the wedding was off, then suffer the humiliation of returning the gifts and canceling the honeymoon trip. All you did was disappear into thin air.”
Tanner let her vent. He and his family had put her through a lot. When she finally lost steam, he spoke.
“I’m sorry. I really wish things could have been different.”
She shook her head with exasperation, only to swallow a sob. “You cheated, Tanner. How could you?”
God, he wanted to tell her the truth. Holding back was pure torture.
“It’s not what it seems.” He paused. Maybe if he gave her a little of the story she’d put two and two together. “My brother was already struggling with the side effects of his brain tumor before finals. Dizziness. Memory issues. Loss of coordination. Not that anyone could tell. He got quite good at disguising his symptoms.”
She looked chagrined, as if she’d forgotten other people in the world had problems worse than theirs. “I heard about his surgery. How’s he doing?”
Tanner shrugged. “As well as possible, I suppose, for someone whose right leg functions at thirty percent and who can’t remember much from one minute to the next. At least he can walk and communicate. That was up in the air at first.”
Sympathy filled her eyes. “What about his wife and children? How are they doing?”
“Coping as best they can. Rosalyn’s been standing by him. So far. But they’ve had their struggles. He’s not the person he used to be.”
That only scratched the surface, thought Tanner, his heart heavy with grief and guilt. His brother had gone from being a high-earning champion bull rider, devoted husband and active, doting father of two young children to someone who—until just a couple of months ago—hadn’t been able to dress or feed himself.
“The cancer’s in remission, and his prognosis is cautiously good,” Tanner said. “That’s something to be grateful for, though he’s on disability and may never work again.”
If not for Tanner’s parents helping out, Daniel and Rosalyn would have lost their house. Yet another reason for Tanner to cover for Daniel and protect the company. A lawsuit could financially ruin more than the business. His brother and family could be left homeless.
Jewel shifted Ava to her other knee. The baby had shoved the neon purple toy into her mouth and was gnawing on it. “Please give him and Rosalyn my best when you talk to them.”
“I will.”
“Are you planning on staying in Mustang Valley indefinitely?”
“That’s complicated. I’d like to talk about it more when you aren’t rushed.”
“I do need to get going.”
“Wait. Before you leave...” He hesitated. He was still getting used to these new feelings of his. “Can I hold Ava?”
Jewel couldn’t have looked more startled if he’d demanded full custody. “She, ah, doesn’t like strangers.”
Strangers. Tanner hated the sound of that.
“Just for a minute,” he said.
They squared off in silence, Jewel reluctant and Tanner insistent.
“I’ve held babies before—Daniel’s two kids.”
She swallowed. Finally, she scooted closer and lifted Ava, depositing her in Tanner’s lap. “She’s going to cry.”
And when that
happened, Jewel was taking her back. She didn’t have to say it; her message was crystal clear.
The wiggly weight on Tanner’s lap felt odd at first. Remembering his sister-in-law’s instructions, he nestled Ava in the crook of his arm, making sure to support her head.
All at once, she lifted her head to peer up at him, and Tanner’s breath caught.
“Hi there.” A huge smile spread across his face.
Ava peered at him, owl-eyed, and then her small mouth opened into a silly toothless grin.
Tanner felt like he’d been kicked in the gut by a mule. This baby was his daughter. His daughter. He was a dad.
“Aren’t you gorgeous?” He pulled Ava closer, and she pressed her small head against his chest.
“I need to go.” Jewel promptly stood up and swooped Ava away from Tanner, winding her up in the wrap thing.
Tanner also stood; the remarkable elation that had filled him while he held Ava continued coursing through him. “Are you free after your meeting at Sweetheart Ranch?”
“I’m busy.” She started walking.
Tanner kept pace, refusing to give up. “Tomorrow?”
“I... I have a lesson with Ronnie at seven.”
“After that?”
She stopped and evaluated him, obviously weighing the pros and cons of stalling him indefinitely. “All right. I should be done by nine.”
“See you then.”
Tanner didn’t accompany her to her truck and trailer. He figured her hackles were already raised enough. Best to give her some space.
On his way to the horse barn where he’d left the wheelbarrow, he retrieved his phone from his pocket and placed a call to the one person who had always been in his corner.
“Mom, hi. I have incredible news. Are you sitting down?”
CHAPTER TWO
TANNER WAS IN Mustang Valley! Jewel couldn’t believe it.
What was she going to do? Forget her plans entirely and leave? Stay and attempt to avoid him? Not avoid him and hopefully navigate the inevitable turmoil? None of the choices appealed to her.
The Cowboy's Christmas Baby Page 2
