“Any ideas about how to make me feel better tonight?” he asked, pulling her in and nuzzling her hair.
“Hmm…maybe I’ll let you open a Christmas present early,” Dana said, tipping her head so that Logan could kiss her neck.
Lindsey gave a wistful sigh as she watched them, then looked up at Matt. “Let’s go, soldier boy. I can’t believe we’ve stayed this long.”
5
Lindsey took Matt’s hand and he followed obediently. There was nowhere he’d rather be in the world than with Lindsey at home. “Remind me to tell you about the time we spent the night in trees because the enemy had us surrounded.”
Logan groaned loudly. “No fair! It’s not like I chose to not have boobs!”
Matt laughed as Lindsey grabbed her purse and started for the front door of the community center. She looked over her shoulder at him. “There wasn’t really a night in the trees, was there?”
“Nope.”
“But you’re going to tell Logan some big, crazy, awesome story about it?”
“Yep.”
She shook her head. “Wow, that’s going to get you laid.”
“Yeah?”
“Logan is a great guy and he’s making Dana really happy and he’s been really good to me and the boys too,” she said. “The fact that you’ve already figured out that he’s worth your time like that makes me just love you even more.”
He tugged her to a stop and wrapped his arms around her. “I didn’t need to talk to him to know that,” he told her against the top of her head. “Every time you talk about all these people, I can hear how much they mean to you.”
She hugged him hard and sniffed. “I don’t know what I’d do without them.”
“You’d do whatever you need to do,” he told her with confidence. “You’re strong and smart and tough and amazing.”
“Well, thanks.” She laughed lightly. “It helps that you don’t see me every day.”
“Lindsey.” He waited until she pulled back and looked up at him. “I mean all of that. I couldn’t do what I do without you. I wouldn’t want to. You make it matter and you make everything better.”
She always had. She’d been impressed with him—and a few of the embellished stories he’d told her about Basic Training and his advanced training and plans and goals for his service—when they’d first met. But he’d quickly realized that it wasn’t just his muscles or the idea of bravery or patriotism or anything that made her look at him with stars in her eyes. It was him. Whatever it was inside of him that had made him sure that being a soldier was what he was going to do with his life, was the same thing that drew her to him.
Sure, her tiny Santa’s helper outfit at the starting line for the Running of the Santas had first caught his attention. But it took him only about two hours of talking with her to realize that she really understood history and politics and the sense of service that had led him to the Army. It was similar to what burned inside of her and made her want to teach. The idea of doing something that would make the world a better place.
It sounded trite whenever he said it to anyone else, but Lindsey got it. It was what made him realize that first night that he was going to marry her. Sure, the eggnog blowjob had probably sealed the deal, but he’d known that he needed to be with someone who really understood not just what he did but why he did it.
He was good at leading. He was good at strategy. He was good at communication. And he wanted to serve his country and do something that he could be proud of. The Army had been a perfect fit.
Even when Lindsey had told him that she didn’t want to travel with him. They’d talked about that before they’d agreed to walk down the aisle. She didn’t want to leave the States. She wanted to teach and live in New Orleans. She’d always wanted to be a part of making her city—their city—a better place. So she’d agreed to marry him, but with the understanding that she’d be here, alone, would be a single mom if they chose to have a family, and that they’d be separated for months at a time.
They’d gone into it with eyes wide open. And now, even ten years later, no regrets. They were partners. He wasn’t here to repair the roof or to take a turn sitting up with sick kids in the middle of the night. He wasn’t even there the last time they’d bought a new car. But he was her emotional partner. That’s what they both needed most—someone who believed in them and supported what they did.
It wasn’t perfect. But it worked. Because she was his best friend, his biggest cheerleader, and sometimes the only person who thought he was amazing.
Okay, that wasn’t true. His boys thought he was amazing. And he might be able to maintain that façade since he wouldn’t be the one here disciplining them for staying out too late as teenagers.
But his men definitely didn’t always think he was amazing. And they weren’t going to be very fucking happy with him when they got the phone call that he’d gotten on his way in from the airport.
Now wasn’t the time to tell Lindsey that his visit was going to get cut short, however. Now was the time to surround himself with all of the goodness that was here, give her as much goodness as he could in the next seventy-two hours, and then thank his damned lucky stars that he had her, because he knew she’d understand. Even if she didn’t like it.
She’d be disappointed and then she’d kiss him and say, “Go save the world, First Sergeant. I love you and I’m so damned proud of you.”
He’d told her how much that always meant to him, but he wasn’t sure she really knew. That she really could know how much it mattered to him that he could leave, knowing that she would be okay, that his kids and his parents and their house and everything would be okay, so that he could focus on his job.
When he told her, she always said, “Well, babe, it’s not like you’re selling shoes or flipping burgers. You handle the bad guys and I’ll take care of our good guys.”
And he’d say, “You wouldn’t love me just as much if I was selling shoes or flipping burgers?”
And she’d say, “Of course I would. But in that case, I’d also make you take out the trash and cook dinner at least once a week.”
And every time he thought, I would fucking love that.
His phone rang and she pulled out of his arms with a little smile. “You need to take that?”
He always had to take it. This number didn’t get put on any phone lists except ones where he took the call no matter what else he was doing at the moment. “Sorry.”
“No problem. I’ll just be over here thinking about the Christmas cookie game I’d like to play.”
“Christmas cookie game?”
She nodded. “The game where I take all of the frosting and sprinkles and things I bought to make Christmas cookies and we pretend we’re the cookies.”
Desire and love slammed through him. She’d found out a little over an hour ago that he was home, unannounced, for an undisclosed amount of time and she hadn’t even asked how long he was here. She’d just rolled with it, obviously ready to make the most of whatever time they had, adjusting her plans, and making his homecoming fun and hot and full of love and laughter.
“This will be a short call,” he growled. God, he loved her. And he needed her again. Wrapped around him all night long.
She blew him a kiss and moved off to give him a little space for the call.
“LaSalle,” he answered a moment later, watching Lindsey talking to Dana.
“Everyone’s confirmed,” Steven Simon, his superior officer, told him without preamble. “We leave Tuesday and oh-six-hundred.”
Matt blew out a breath. “How many casualties?”
“Fifteen confirmed dead so far.”
“Fuck,” he breathed.
“I’m sorry to cut it short.”
Matt shoved a hand through his hair. It felt sticky and stiff from the white hairspray he’d used to match it to his Santa beard. “It’s never enough time,” he said honestly. “But we have a job.”
“Yes we do,” Simon said seriously.
Of course, i
t didn’t get a lot more serious than government forces bombing a series of their own tiny villages, supposedly to drive out the rebel army. Except the rebels weren’t there and the government forces knew it. What they were really doing was methodically going village by village searching for Dr. Badih Kahn, the brilliant scientist who the government wanted to “employ”. He was now in hiding in the U.S. but, thankfully, the foreign government hadn’t figured that out yet. Matt and his men were going in to protect the villages, protect Dr. Kahn’s location, and hopefully make a few opposing soldiers very sorry they’d dropped bombs on innocent people.
He gripped his phone tightly. “Is Tuesday soon enough?”
Damn, he didn’t want to leave earlier than that, but as always, he was torn. Torn between the woman and two children who were his, who he needed to see, who had been without him for the past two Christmases, and the dirt-poor farmers and laborers on the border of two war-torn countries who had no one to protect them from their own corrupt government.
He looked over at Lindsey again, noting the familiar wave to her long dark hair, the smile that made his heart warm and his cock hard at the same time, and the he-would-be-able-to-pick-it-out-even-blindfolded curve of her cheek. The truth was, the people across the ocean needed him more than she did.
“Temporary troops will arrive at midnight,” Simon told him. “They’ll hold things until we get there.”
And again that restlessness tripped through him. Dammit. He wanted to be here. Of course he did. But he needed to be there. That was their territory. Enemy troops had come into their area. The area they’d kept safe for the past eight months. He wanted to get on the plane now.
He heard Lindsey’s laugh and his gut knotted. Because he also never wanted to leave again.
“Enjoy your time,” Simon said. Firmly. As if it was an order rather than just a pleasantry. “You need it. You all do. There’s plenty of time to be pissed off.”
Matt swallowed. Yeah, there was. He needed to dive deep into the Christmas spirit and his family and friends and all of the good things. All of the things that were, in the end, what he was truly fighting for. Keeping their lives here safe and happy and peaceful. And giving even a little of that, as much as they could, to those people overseas.
“Will do,” he finally answered. “Keep me updated.”
“Of course.”
Matt disconnected and forced himself to take a few deep breaths. He could, of course, tell Lindsey all about what was going down. What had happened. What was going to be happening. She’d understand. She’d give him perspective. She’d have the same feelings of helplessness and righteous anger that he was feeling. But she didn’t even know he’d been promoted. She didn’t know he was with a special ops force with even more secretive and specific missions. She didn’t know that he was the leader of a kick-ass, tough-as-hell group of men who were the bravest, smartest, best men he’d ever known.
He’d planned to tell her while he was home. When they were wrapped up together. Where he could assure her that this was what he wanted and that he was following his passion.
Now… He blew out a breath. Now he was going to take his wife home and hide out while she put their boys to bed and then he was going to lose himself in her, probably two or three times before sunrise. And then he was going to give his boys a Christmas memory to hold on to forever. And he was going to throw himself into as much fun and tradition as he could cram into three days.
And he was most definitely going to play the Christmas cookie game.
“Okay, Mrs. LaSalle, time to go,” he said, interrupting whatever she’d been telling Dana about dropping Dana’s girls off somewhere sometime.
“I’m definitely ready, First Sergeant.”
They said good night to everyone again and finally made it out to her car. “Logan picked you up and everything?” she asked, unlocking it and climbing behind the wheel.
He got into the passenger seat as she started the car. “Yeah. He picked me up at the airport and took me over to the bar to get ready.”
Lindsey grinned as she backed out of the parking spot. “I’m still so amazed by it all.”
She turned onto the street and pulled up to the stop light at the corner. And then suddenly said, “Huh.”
“Huh?” he asked.
“I guess I need to take you home first, don’t I? If we’re going to keep you from the boys until morning.”
He wanted to see the boys now. He wanted every minute with them he could get. But that wasn’t practical. It was late and she was right about them not settling down after they saw him. And he’d blown in here tonight without warning to her. He couldn’t expect that everything just stop and change course for him.
“Yeah. I guess.” But that was stupid. Bea lived a good twenty minutes from here and then it would be another twenty to thirty back to their house. “No, hang on.” The light was still red and he opened his door.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m getting out. I’ll take a cab home. All my stuff’s at Logan’s and he said he’d drop it over tomorrow.” He didn’t bring much home with him anyway. He had clothes at the house and could get anything he needed while here. “I’ll shower quick and then hide out while you get the boys settled.”
There was a quick honk behind them. The light had turned green.
“But I—”
Clearly Lindsey didn’t like the idea of dumping him out on a street corner at ten o’clock at night. Or maybe she didn’t like the idea of letting him out of reach now that he was home. He knew the feeling. The first few days when he was home on longer leaves it always felt strange for her to go to work and the boys to school. This time, at least, he’d have them twenty-four-seven. Or twenty-four-three.
Feeling that mix of regret and worry and frustration coiling in his gut, he got out of the car. The car behind honked again and then pulled around them.
He leaned in. “I’m fine, Linds. Go get the boys.”
She gave a soft laugh. “I guess I don’t need to worry about you, of all people, out in the dark by yourself.”
He gave her a wink. “I pity the mugger who tries something with me.”
She smiled. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Hurry.”
“Definitely.”
He stepped up onto the curb and watched her pull away. Then he sighed. Things were already not going to plan. Having to take a cab home was hardly the end of the world, of course. But it mixed together with the other stuff swirling through him. Like the ticking clock. And the fact that it really could be the end of the world for those people waiting for the American troops to show up.
And that he was going to have to get a hold of his buddy Kyle and see if he could bring the boys’ Christmas gift over early. Because he could not miss seeing them open this one.
* * *
Thankfully, Aidan had been asleep when Lindsey arrived at Bea’s and hadn’t fully awakened even when she’d carried him to the car and then into their house.
Liam hadn’t fallen asleep watching movies like his brother, but he was clearly exhausted.
“Did you have fun, buddy?” she asked as she tucked him in and kissed his head.
Right now the boys shared a room. She didn’t know if they would always want to, but for the time being they liked having their toys and books and each other in the same place.
“It was really fun,” Liam told her, just before a big yawn hit him. “We made reindeer food and snowman bathtubs.”
Lindsey smiled and brushed his hair back from his forehead. God, he looked so much like Matt. So many nights doing just this very thing it would hit her and her breath would catch and she’d have to breathe through it.
Tonight was no different but the wave of longing was tempered by the thought that Matt was just down the hall waiting for her.
She felt bad about not telling the boys he was here, but then Liam yawned again and when she looked over at Aidan, she realized this was the right thing. They were too tired
to deal with that kind of excitement right now. And besides, she’d come up with a fantastic way to surprise them tomorrow and she was a little giddy thinking about it.
“What’s in the reindeer food?” she asked. She already knew. She’d made reindeer food with her class before and she’d provided the little baggies for the project tonight.
“Oatmeal and birdseed and red and green glitter,” Liam said. “I guess reindeer eat birdseed because they fly, right?”
“That makes sense to me,” Lindsey agreed. “And the glitter helps them find it in the dark, right? It sparkles in the moonlight.” She pulled his blankets up around his shoulders.
“Right,” he said.
“And what’s a snowman bathtub?” she asked. That had been someone else’s idea and she was curious.
He gave her a wide grin. “The bathtubs are the cups and the water is hot chocolate,” he said. “But then the snowmen get in. They play with the little peppermint bits and chocolate sprinkles like bath toys. And they wear Hershey kisses for shower caps!” He was getting excited and Lindsey rubbed his arm steadily, trying to keep him from getting too worked up. “The snowmen think it’s going to be fun, and relaxing, and warm, and then they melt!” He grinned. “Aidan thought that was funny.”
Lindsey laughed softly. “Ah.” Lindsey assumed they’d used marshmallows to make the snowmen. “That does sound funny.”
“He kept saying that snowmen should know that they will melt,” Liam said.
“I guess they probably should,” Lindsey agreed with a smile. “How did you keep the shower caps on their heads?” she asked. She was always looking for new, fun ideas for her first graders to do.
“Frosting,” he said. Then he yawned again.
“Frosting,” she repeated. She probably should have figured that.
“And pretzels for arms,” he said. He gave a long, slow blink.
Lindsey brushed her hand over his forehead again and said softly, “Time to sleep, honey. You can tell me more in the morning.”
“We’re going to the diner?” he asked, his eyes sliding shut.
Eggnog Makes Her Easy: A Boys of the Big Easy Holiday novella Page 5
