by Baltazar Ray
THE ADVENTURES OF THE FANCYCRAZYHYDRANTS™
THE MISSION™
BALTAZAR RAY
Copyright 2003 Baltazar Ray
All Rights Reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, or broadcast.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Published by
FancyCrazy Publishing
E-mail: [email protected]
Blog: www.FancyCrazyHydrants.tv
Facebook: www.facebook.com/fancycrazyhydrants
Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/baltazarray/
Twitter: #fancycrazyhy
Conceptualized, designed, written, and illustrated by:
Baltazar Ray
ISBN: 0-9745386-9-8 (paperback)
ISBN: 0-9745386-3-9 (ebook)
Ebook formatting by www.ebooklaunch.com
Acknowledgments
Many thanks to all contributors—big or small, direct or indirect—to the editors, the designers, and the printers—Dana and Jonathan, my friends—Bill (my original hydrant buddy!), inspirations like Rosanne, Stan, Tanya, Jessel, Viviana, Madmo, Norman for his fervent love of art and hydrant sketches, Jan for her unfailing support, Trina and the Nutley Public Library for my debut FCH digital art exhibit.
My sincerest thanks to James Lyons IV, a gentleman who came out of the blue and offered his help to proofread and edit this book. That was noble. He "saw" and believed in this project and I appreciate that.
And thanks to all the pessimists and the doubters, the visionaries and the inspirers, the phenomenal Beatles and their music that kept me inspired all my life, my ubiquitous Queen and all the Queens of the World, my wonderful daughter Paulina (my audience and adviser), Sab and Fyor (my other children), and to my brightest light across the continent, FLOR, and most of all—the optimists and their incessant prodding and good vibes in helping me transform this idea into reality. You are all part of this chemistry. May the Voice be with you ALL.
Book Reviews:
Fun names, lots of adventure, fast pace, "FancyCrazyHydrants" is a merry read, recommended, five stars!—Molly Martin, book author
A sweet and enjoyable children’s tale. FancyCrazyHydrants would be a welcomed addition to any school or child’s personal library.—by Jill Eisnaugle, Author of Coastal Whispers
The newest superhero on the block may be as close as your curb! Young readers will find this unique story amusing and interesting. The concept of hero hydrants is tangible, because of the presence of fire plugs throughout everyone's neighborhoods. Since fire hydrants are already accepted as necessary to put out fires, the idea of them expanding their rescuer roles is somehow fitting. FancyCrazyHydrants: The Mission is a fun read with a new kind of hero.—Joyce Handso, Book Reviewer
Baltazar Ray renders a fresh and unique perspective and takes his readers to the limitless confines of his imagination. His playful superhumanization of the otherwise nondescript yet ubiquitous hydrants is sure to generate curiosity and interest to these unseen and unsung heroes. Definitely a good read for target age brackets, likewise interesting for more mature readers.—Albert "Abetsky" Martinez, reader
The book is full of vivid imagination. I believe it really does speak to children ages 9 to 12. It takes time, imagination and the thinking of a child to write children's books and I believe Baltazar Ray was successful in his endeavor. I recommend you to try this book, it is quite entertaining even for us adults!—Alina, reader
As an adult reading this book, I found it to be quirky, lively, and entertaining. The book moves at breakneck speed through a fictional Guerlin City in the year 3000, following the adventures of two heroic fire hydrants. As a New Yorker, I enjoyed the subtext of dealing with the perils of city-living as much as the story itself.—CR "Cat", reader
FancyCrazyHydrants is a story about the importance of friendship and understanding and patience. Readers will enjoy the suspense and action during each chapter.—David Villanueva, children’s book author
"NEVER MIND WHO I AM, I AM WHAT YOU SEE UP HERE… ” -The Voice. This text found in the introductory page of the book grabbed my attention and inspired me to read FancyCrazy Hydrants. There is more in this book than Baltazar Ray's creativity and playful imagination. This book contains inner wisdom and depth that will make you think about believing in Higher Power and your true self. Geared for young adults, it is also an enjoyable read for adults to discover their “child within."—Lady Lavender, reader Southern California
Heroes on a MISSION!
Heroes tuning into an Intelligent Higher POWER!
Heroes journeying the path of Self-DISCOVERY!
These Heroes relate to kids and adults of all ages. The FancyCrazyHydrants inspire a deeper message, planting the seeds of greatness within each whom read this work of art— developing the relationships with others, but most importantly with oneself.
As Pluggo, Hydra, and cohorts have accomplished this amazing mission, this is only the beginning. This marks a new creation of superheroes. This book delivers CREATIVITY, POTENTIAL, and SUPERHERO FUN!—Reverend Chamuel Bachiller, reader, CA
To my beloved parents, Angel and Josefina,
and to my beloved daughter, Paulina.
I am honored to have known you in this life.
Never mind who I am.
I am what you see up here . . .
—The Voice
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Acknowledgements
Reviews
Chapter 1 The Contact
Chapter 2 The Voice
Chapter 3 The Power
Chapter 4 Grunt
Chapter 5 Crooton
Chapter 6 Beatree
Chapter 7 The Mission
Chapter 8 Splatter
Chapter 9 Meet Five Feet
Chapter 10 Mohegan River
Chapter 11 Veeda
Chapter 12 Hydra’s Trip
Chapter 13 The Dream
Chapter 14 Elvira
Chapter 15 Hydra’s Back
Chapter 16 Déjà vu, Genoa, Déjà vu
Chapter 17 Big Tur
Chapter 18 Captain Hydra
Chapter 19 Fireeba, Billow and the Fyros
Chapter 20 Year 3000
Other books in the works
CHAPTER 1
The Contact
THE BRIGHT YELLOW TAXI sped down the lane and roared past an old couple waiting in vain. At five in the morning, the driver was weary from working all night. He had just dropped off his last fare and he was headed for the garage. Sixteen hours straight he’s been driving—a record for fools, he thought.
His eyes were half-closed and he was barely awake. All he could think of, as he pressed harder on the gas, was his soft, warm bed with its clean sheets and fresh smell. As he careened down the road, the taxi started to wobble. The driver had begun to fall asleep!
He ran two yellow lights and slammed on his brakes just as a man darted in front of him. He swerved, missing the man by mere inches, but not before the taxi climbed the curb. The driver, confused and desperate, scrambled for control…
“SCREEEE
EEECCH! KA-BLAMMM!”
“SPLASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHH!”
Water, water everywhere and there was plenty to drink, too! A fountain of water gushed out of the sidewalk as high as the lamppost and started flooding the street. The taxi had come down like a hammer and severed a fire hydrant from its main pipe. Its main connection underground, cut and exposed to the sidewalk.
The thundering crash woke up the whole neighborhood. Lights could be seen coming on in sequence in all the buildings. People peered from their windows and others began pouring out into the street. Soon there was a crowd, all curious about the commotion. It was near daylight and everyone wanted to see what was going on—like a block party where new and old neighbors could see each other again and look at all the new and old faces.
“Nelly, how are you?”
“Virginia, I didn’t know you're back!”
“Bill! What happened?”
It was bizarre—a block party at five in the morning! People even brought out their dogs to mingle with the other dogs. Now, no one seemed to mind about the accident.
No, this was better. People were more curious about the melee, the gathering, the mingling, and the camaraderie.
“TOOOOOOTEEEEE! TOOOOOOTEEEEE!”
The incoming ambulances and the Water Department (WD) emergency crews with their loud and wailing sirens added to the festivity.
The medics carted out the injured driver as fast as they could, while the crew from the Water Department shut off the main valve, reducing the water torrent to a slow dribble.
Dogs were looking curiously at the hydrant, as if they had never seen a 'downed' hydrant before. It must have been some dog’s territory. Where do they go now to pee? You can almost hear them whimpering like they were worried or something.
* *
The day drifted by so fast, it was almost dusk and the hydrant remained undisturbed, still lying on the damp pavement. Some people, back from work, were out walking their dogs, and passed by the hydrant. The dogs were curious but were hesitant to relieve themselves. One dog raised his leg against the downed hydrant, but then changed his mind. Yaikks! A severed hydrant! I can’t stand this—it’s such a mess! thought the dog. I’ve got to pee somewhere else! Yuk! The dog was clearly whimpering.
The hydrant resembled a dead, wooden log covered with skin-like green moss. It was an old-style hydrant with several thick nozzles sticking out. The WD had declared these models obsolete and retired them years ago.
“Years ago?” one of the crewmen said. “Then why not take them out?”
The WD crew was gathered around the horizontal victim, and one of them said, “Well, it is a way for the city to make money. This particular hydrant represents several hundred, or maybe even thousands of dollars in potential parking ticket fees. And besides, they look great on the sidewalk."
* *
The following morning as traffic was building up, a truck with its blaring music, whizzed right by the downed hydrant and proceeded for a few more blocks. The truck was lost. It made an abrupt stop and started backing up recklessly through the lines of cars behind it, weaving, with its red lights flashing. The truck driver was dumb enough to back up three blocks, snarling traffic all the way to the hydrant.
“BEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEP! HOOOOOOOONK!”
The impatient and irate drivers leaned on their horns.
“It’s early in the morning! Wha’d ‘ya want from me?” the driver yelled, gesturing with raised hands.
After a couple of crazy maneuvers, the truck screeched to a stop. Its doors yanked open and two burly and scruffy men jumped down and walked toward the hydrant.
“Hmm… this is a big one,” the driver groaned, scratching his chin. “Just what I need this morning. Ready for this one, Guido?”
Guido, shorter of the two, mumbled something. He was still half asleep. He bent down and sized up the hydrant too. “Alright, let’s take this one, Ben,” Guido continued mumbling.
The two men bent down in unison to pick up the hydrant, “Oomph! Hah!”
For a moment, they seemed to be playing 'tug of war' and looked like they didn’t know where to go.
“Stop Guido, stop!” Ben yelled in disgust. “Okay, now, follow my direction and stop pulling the other way. You’re going to drop this one like the others. I don’t have any more feet to spare!” Ben yelled at Guido.
They carried the massive hydrant, puffing heavily—-their veins bulging in their necks as they took small deliberate steps to the back of the truck.
“Easy now… ” Ben blurted out to remind the half-asleep Guido.
On the count of three, they tossed the load right on top of the other hydrants.
“KA-BLAAANNNNGK!” came the crashing noise of heavy metal.
It’s a fairly routine job. Just make sure you don’t drop this baby, Ben thought.
* *
The truck was filled with all sorts of hydrants; hydrants of different size, shape, and color. All were severed at the base, having been run over by reckless drivers around the city. Most of the load was from the day before and should have been unloaded that same day. They looked animated, piled on top of each other—almost cartoon-like.
As the truck sped down the road and turned the corner, the hydrants would roll from right to left; loudly crashing together—“Blank! Bang! Boing!”
The truck then picked up speed and headed for the highway.
* *
Ben and Guido had a long day to go and still had to unload the overstuffed truck. Come to think of it, there must have been a lot of downed fire hydrants all over the city. The population was growing and there were more cars on the road. Ben, thinking about the day’s work ahead was unconsciously speeding up.
He had just exited the highway and was now driving on a local road—but he was still going way too fast. All of a sudden, a small animal darted across the road.
“Oh no! Not a squirrel!” Ben hollered as he swerved the truck.
Burly man or not, he was not about to run over such a delicate animal. And besides, his wife strictly reminded him not to run over any animals. He sure didn’t want to hear what she would have to say about this.
“Knock it off, Ben! That’s only a glorified rat!” Guido screamed, holding on tight as he swayed inside the truck. Ben turned the wheel from left to right and left again; he was zigzagging all over the road. His cargo flew from side to side like chocolate chips in a mixer. Before he could get the vehicle under control, two hydrants flew out spinning from the back of the truck.
“Ka-blang! Plunk! Thud!”
The two hydrants hit and rolled on the side of the road and the two men didn’t noticed what happened.
“Whew! That was close,” Ben cried, peering at the broken side mirror to check on the squirrel. "My wife wouldn't have forgiven me if I squashed that poor squirrel," Ben continued.
Guido, on the other hand couldn’t care less.
“Slow down Ben!” Guido grumbled. “You’re not only disrupting my sleep, you’re also trying to get me killed. Never mind the squirrel!”
Ben, still shaken, tried to compose himself and took a deep breath. “Alright, it’s time for coffee break. I can’t go on like this. Watch out for a diner.”
Guido gave him a wry smile, “Good idea, Ben. Good idea!”
CHAPTER 2
The Voice
THE TWO HYDRANTS lay motionless next to each other on the side of the road. They appeared to be more animated than two lifeless broken apparatus—two fire hydrants in the middle of nowhere, like they overslept from a night of revelry and enjoying the cool light breeze.
Can you guess who was the lucky one to be thrown free from the back of the truck? If you guessed the big green hydrant with lots of arms, you’d be right. That truck must have taken a wild turn to be able to expel that heavy baby. There’s no way that big unit could have flown out of the truck without some kind of help. And the other hydrant was so small; that it didn't take much effort to be thrown out of that truck. This hydrant was a lot
smaller, with its red head and white body; it looked like a colorful minor leaguer. The two hydrants, together, looked like a couple of cartoon characters. They lay there motionless as the day drifted by.
* *
The sun went down that evening as slowly as it had risen. Stars began creeping out of the darkness and covered the sky like sparklers in slow rhythmic motion. Shooting stars streaked across the sky, adding to the unique view. In this area, there was rarely such a sight as was being displayed tonight. Stars were able to dominate the evening sky without a throng of buildings and artificial lights to disrupt them. Looking up, there was a feeling of vastness, of belonging, of being part of the space, the stars, and the galaxies—there was a feeling of—MAGIC.
The place was quiet and cool with a slight breeze. Crickets and frogs exchanged their usual chatter. It was a perfect evening. And as this magic feeling lingered, there was a noise; something moved.
“SHHH, WISHH, SHHH, WISHH.”
The large green hydrant slowly rolled from side to side. Suddenly, the hydrant sat up, as if awakened from a bad dream.
“Whoaa! Hahh!” Yawning? Yes, the hydrant was alive and yawning! The magic of the evening had given life to him. The big green hydrant simply sat there, bewildered, it had just been awakened from a long sleep.
“Hmm… where am I?” the hydrant mused. His memory of his life in the city was recurring to him. He remembered the accident to some degree and felt happy that he survived. He glanced over at the small hydrant that had also started to move.
“Hey wake up, little one! Wake up! Check out the stars! Aren’t they lovely?”
The small hydrant was still groggy from the fall as it rolled from side to side like having a bad dream.
“Huh?” What the… ” the small hydrant said, looking around, its eyes peering at the star-lit sky.
“We’re alive! Can you believe it? We’re alive!” the big green hydrant cried. It stood up and ran around the field.
With a bewildered look, the small hydrant sat up too. “What’s going on? Who are you? And what are we doing here?”
“For some reason, we’re alive and I’m enjoying every moment of it! Wheeeeeeee!” The big green hydrant was so ecstatic that he couldn't help running, jumping, and rolling with joy. “Whoopeeeeee!”
