by C R Riley
I stare at my food and really truly try to keep it together. But the longer we sit there, the harder it becomes. Soon the tears spill from my eyes and there is nothing I can do to stop them.
Chapter 24
Antonio
“Sit down and shut up.” Those are Larkin’s last words before we sat down to eat.
I didn’t argue with her. The tone of her voice was enough to get me to bring down my own anger so we could discuss this the right way, although the tension between us remains.
The silence as we eat only seems to make it worse.
I could really use a glass of wine. A nice zinfandel would really bring out the flavors in the food and also help take the edge off. So, I stand and make my way to the wine cooler. Grab the bottle of wine I am looking for, two wine glasses, and a corkscrew. After I open it and let it breath for a few minutes. I pour and then carry them back to the table, setting one in front of Larkin as I take my seat.
I am aware she doesn’t normally drink, but I hate drinking alone. It’s a glass of wine, one glass. Wine is good for the heart, mind and soul. One glass a day with dinner should be acceptable. And I bet if she tried it, she’d like it. I won’t force her to drink, but I will at least offer it to her when I pour myself a glass from now on. If she doesn’t drink it then she doesn’t drink it and I’ll pour it out, then do the same the next night. My mind is made up and I am prepared to defend my actions if she should question me about them now.
Larkin is staring at her food as she slowly shovels it in her mouth and chews. It’s all very meticulous and done in a way that suggest she is doing it all out of rote, not really enjoying the food she is eating. Such as shame really, because the food is amazing. One more thing I have decided I like about her.
Watching her earlier, as she prepared this meal, was one of the loveliest experiences I have ever been a part of. Her teasing me while she moved around, like she owned the kitchen, almost had me forgetting who I was. At that moment in time we were just Larkin and Antonio, a woman and a man, doing what over half the other couples like us do every day.
Or at least that’s how I imagined it, I’m not sure that’s how it really works. Nonetheless I decided right then and there that is how I wanted it to work from now on between us. I want to prepare dinner with her every night for the rest of my life. Want to watch her taste the food as she prepares it, licking her fingers off without giving it a second thought, all while I listen to her chatter to herself as she does.
I reach for my wine glass and swirl it around slowly before taking a sip. When I set it down, I glance her way again and notice she has stopped eating and has dropped her head. Her hair has fallen over her shoulder, concealing her face from view.
When her left-hand lifts and wipes something off her cheek, I watch her more carefully. When she does it again, I reach out and brush her hair back over her shoulder so I can determine the problem. As soon as I spot the tears, I don’t care about anything else.
“What is the matter?” I caress her shoulder showing my concern.
“I’m never going to be able to do it.” The sadness in her eyes guts me when she raises her gaze to meet mine.
Sliding my chair back, I snag her arm and tug. I am pleased when she doesn’t fight me, but instead stands and takes a seat in me lap without further prompting. Wrapping my arms around her I wait for her to settle before resting my head against hers. I can feel her body trembling slightly in my arms and I don’t like it.
“Do what my love? What are you afraid you will not be able to do?” I run my hand along her arm. “Tell me please.”
Her fingers play with the buttons of my shirt. “I’ve never seen you dressed like this before.”
“Avoiding the question Larkin, will not make it go away.” I tell her.
And I don’t dress like this all that often really. Today before I left the Palace I changed into a pair of tan shorts and a short sleeve button down shirt. It’s the start of summer holiday so I figured I should dress the part.
“You look like every other man out there dressed like this.” She lets out a labored laugh. “But you’re not just a man are you Antonio. No matter what, you are always more than that and you just can’t turn that off just because the day is over. You can dress like they do, but you can never truly be like them.”
Her statement speaks volumes. I have never been like everyone else. Dressed in the same uniform, looking like the other boys on my soccer team didn’t make me one of them really, I was still Prince Antonio. There was no escaping the life I was born into. No matter how hard I tried to pretend at times I could just turn it off, I couldn’t, ever.
“You get used to it. Forget.”
“Do you?” She asks not believing me.
I can’t lie to her. “No. You just learn to accept it eventually I guess.”
There are times accepting it is even grueling. Days I wish I had been born just a boy from Aragon instead of the Prince. Other days I freely accept my role and do my best to lead the people the way they count on me to. It isn’t as difficult as it once was, I suppose. When everything rested on the Sovereign’s shoulders and only his/her shoulders. I am at least able to distribute the responsibilities to others, those who were elected by the people.
In reality most of the daily tasks now rest on the elected officials’ shoulders. While I am the head of the Constitutional Monarch, the six members of the King’s Council can out vote me. They hold the majority of the power when push comes to shove. Unless I have friends seated on the council, who have the same viewpoints as I do, they could do as they please. I am truly only the tie-breaking vote with a title that sounds really, really important. One that often even intimidates them when I need it to, and yes as King, I often like to throw that back in their smug faces. I was born into this position and will remain here until I die or hand it over to my heir. They are only here for a limited amount of time, so it is always wise to remind them of that fact.
“I’ll never be able to do that. I wasn’t born into this world Antonio. I don’t understand all these stupid rules. I’m going to mess up on a regular bases and someone will always be there waiting to correct me when I do.” Her entire body crumbles in my arms.
Does that mean she doesn’t want to play by the rules? Or is she trying to tell me something else completely?
My body tenses now. “What did they say to you?” I know my voice is stern and harsh, that is because I don’t like knowing my men made her feel like she messed up.
Larkin sits up and stares into my eyes. “Nothing. It’s not really so much what they said. I mean that. So, don’t go all alpha male on them for only doing the jobs they have been trained to do. They were only following the rules that have been drilled into them long before I ever showed up and messed it all up.”
“Stop saying that! You didn’t mess anything up. And I don’t go alpha male on people.” I lift my chin and clinch my back teeth together in denial.
Larkin takes my face in her hands and runs her thumbs over my tense jaw muscles. She then leans in and kisses both sides, along with that tight brow of mine.
“Yes, my sweet man you do. It’s not your fault. You were raised to be an alpha male at his finest. Taught that everyone within this deep graveling voice is to do as you tell them to do without question. They have also been taught to follow, and they do so out of respect for the position you represent. Very few people out there are allowed to defy the King or even tell him no. So, the alpha male inside of you is hard for you to set aside.”
“I don’t want to be like that with you Larkin.” I close my eyes, afraid that earlier when I reacted to her correcting me, it might have frightened her. “You are allowed to defy me, and even tell me no, whenever the urge arises.”
She kisses the dimple on my chin. “I’m not complaining Antonio. The alpha male inside of you serves you well and gets the job done. As King you are intended to be the only one standing tall while demanding that others listen to you. I imagine one day I might even like that side
of you for other reasons all together.”
I gather her hair in my hand and tug it slightly so she has to pull back some. Hearing those words awakens that alpha tiger inside of me again. Then I go after mouth as alpha as I can right now. Taking it like a man hungry for so much more, needing more.
“What is it you don’t believe you can do Larkin?” I ask again once I have had my fill for the moment.
“Pretend to be one of them. Follow their stupid rules. Treat others as if I am better than them. Let them treat me like I am better, because that is what they have always been told. I understand they believe that … one day this could all be … that I could one day find myself as a permanent part of your world.” Her stumbling over her words, searching for the right ones, lights the wick inside of me.
“If I want to take those men dinner, I don’t want to think I am lowering myself to do so. I don’t want to feel as if I can’t clean, do laundry, scrub a toilet or two, or even cook you dinner, all become I now have this title hanging over my head.
“I can’t pretend I give one inkling about any of that crap, treat those around me as simply servants whose only job is to serve me and do as they are told. It’s not who I am. I don’t believe one person is better than the another just because they happen to live is some fancy castle.” She blows out a frustrated puff of air. “I just can’t do that.”
I stare at her in complete awe and fall deeper by the second. “You truly want to be able to clean a few nasty toilets?”
She shrugs. “A few perhaps. Fifteen may be a little more than even I’m willing to do though, so some help would be appreciated.”
I slide my hands upward so I can hold her face in them and chuckle. Fifteen toilets I believe is the exact number Maximiliano Chateau has. “You will do just fine Miss Cross. I shall inform the staff that they are to treat you however you tell them you wish for them to. Which I know still goes against what you are saying, but they will need to be trained in the new way and that means telling them your wishes as often as is needed. That is since I don’t ever plan on letting you go.
“You Larkin, are a blessing God has given me and I never, ever want you to doubt that. I also never want you to wonder what I am thinking or how I feel about you. So, I am going to tell you and you are just going to have to figure out how to deal with it.”
Tears fill her eyes again as her breathing starts to get uneven and falter. “If I must then I guess I must.”
Gazing directly into her eyes I wait a beat. “I love you, mi lunaita. I love you and only you. I’ve never once told a woman that before, but I plan on telling you that often so that you don’t forget.” I lean forward and kiss her lips, then feel them trembling under mine.
Very slowly she responds with the most beautiful words ever spoken against mine, letting the tears from her eyes wet my cheeks. “Rey de mi corazon te amo demasiado. Yo tambien te quiero.” (King of my heart I love you too. I love you too.)
This is not the first time a woman has said those words to me. I have had my title as Prince added to all kinds of mushy objects. Prince of hearts, love prince, my heart’s prince, or ruler of my heart, are just a few examples of the ones the ladies have bestowed on me. They were all just words mixed together in hopes to make me feel something for them. They never worked, nor did I believe them when they all claimed to love me. I knew they were all just saying the words, not once suffering from the emotion that went along with them. Which is always the reason I never repeated them back, well along with the fact that I didn’t love them.
But hearing Larkin do her best to utter those words in one of my native languages, lets me know they aren’t just words to her. I know how challenging it must have been for her to learn them well enough to feel like she could speak them to me. Her self-conscience mind would not allow her to butcher something like that, which means she has most likely spent a few weeks repeating them in her head, making sure she got each syllable exact.
I didn’t plan any on this. None of it even crossed my mind. So, I am equally surprised to hear the next words slip from my lips. "Ces belles paroles prononcees du coeur. Maintenant, je vais parler de la mineen. Je t’aime et t’aimerai toujours. Etre la Reine de mon coeur de m’epouser mon amour.”
Larkin starts to giggle. “I have no idea what you just said, although it sounded so beautiful. Hermosa mi amor. But could you please repeat it in English.”
“You’ve been practicing your Spanish.” I grin fondly at her.
“Si senor. Listen to it every night before I go to bed. There’s an app for that you know. It claims I will be fluent in it very soon. I guess only time will tell. But what you said was not in Española, that was French. And I’d like to know what you said so I can counter properly.”
I think long and hard about it.
“You promised me that I would never have to wonder what you are thinking. That you’d always just tell me, so tell me.” She uses my own lousy words against me.
She is correct though; I did promise her that. I nudge her to stand and take her hand in mine. “Okay, but first I need to make a run to my bedroom. Then we shall take a walk. While we walk, we will talk. While we talk, I promise to tell you what I said.”
“Okay.” Larkin nods once. “You promise this isn’t some trick to get me to forget about it all.”
“No trick I promise.” I lean down and kiss her lips. “No trick, but I need you to keep an open mind and listen to my words while I talk. Can you promise to do that?”
She bites her lip and shrugs. “I can try. Why do I get the suspicion you are about to knock my feet out from under me and send my head spinning?”
“I love you Larkin. Remember that and the rest will be easy.” I wink at her as I take off towards my private quarters.
Once I am inside, I close the door and head for the large closet. Inside is a safe where I keep all my personal belongings and family heirlooms. A habit one learns when they have other people cleaning up after them. Leaving anything lying around is sometimes too tempting even for the most honest of people.
While I was waiting on Larkin to return earlier, after she unmanned me. Gino brought in my things from the car and placed them in my room like I instructed. I came to my room to have a peek at the damage done to my poor jewels, which by the way were absolutely normal looking, not even red. I would have sworn that they’d be red, perhaps a bit bruised. Even though they were still throbbing, there was no visible damage. Nor did I image there would be any physical damage, since the staff attached to my jewels was functioning just fine. After I assessed the damage, I went to my bag and retrieved a few items that I wanted secured inside the safe.
I am here now to retrieve one of those items. I didn’t plan this really. Okay I didn’t plan on doing this the first night I was here. My plan was to spend all my extra time with Larkin while here. I figured that sometime during this eight-week holiday I would finally move this courtship along. I mean we had only dated for a little over a week when I decided dating her wasn’t enough right. So logically I figured that once I started courting her it too would eventually not be enough and I’d want to make it a more permanent relationship. Give her the title I had seen her in almost since the beginning. Not the Title, but the one that would let everyone know eventually she would own that title.
I realize this seems quick. But must I remind you that things are often done differently in my world. Engagements are often arranged long before they are announced. Most of it is all for show.
Typically, in my world a man and woman are seen together at a few events, that is the dating phase. Then they begin the courting phase, which last a couple of months, depending on how quickly they want to move it along. Engagements can vary. Some are quick, mostly because there is already an heir on the way and one doesn’t want to have the public making accusations.
You didn’t know that monarchs cook faster than other babies. I was born seven long months after my parents married. Princess Isabel was a record I’m sure; her birth was a very
quick four months. And as we all know a King only weds a virgin and consummates his marriage for the first time on the wedding night. So, like I said monarchs cook faster, or at least those first ones do, funny how the rest seem to take the full forty weeks.
I may be the first king, in a long line of kings, to have waited until my wedding night. I will wait by the way. Larkin has enough to deal with; she does not need to hear all the gossip that would accompany her should our first-time result in producing an heir. Accordingly, I will not take her in anyway until she is my wife.
Reaching inside the safe I pull out a black velvet box I picked up the other day. The ring I once thought about giving Lady Dalia was a family heirloom, my great grandmother’s ring. One she would have expected to be offered and I guess it was a good thing I hadn’t planned on disappointing her. (Sarcasm at its best there folks.) This ring was not an heirloom though, at least not one of mine.
I had my friend Fernando put the word out that he was looking for a very unique and old engagement ring. A gift for his wife and it had to be unique, one of a kind. Something artistic looking, around a carat, and could possibly be made to look like a set. It took three calls and several snapshots from him to uncover the one I thought would be perfect for my special lady. The yellow and white gold band spoke antique, the flowers hand crafted on the side gave it that artistic appearance, the high setting made the diamond appear as if it were setting high on a crown. Plus, the jeweler had already created the perfect ring to accompany it, with a mixture of the yellow and white gold, including small diamonds that hugged both sides of the first band. He had it sent to the Palace for my approval and I bought it upon sight.
I shove the box in my pocket after looking at it closely again. It was the ideal imperfect ring for a woman like Larkin and I knew she would love it. What I didn’t know was if she would accept it.
If you ever thought men like me don’t get nervous, you can think again. Most of the time we don’t let things bother us, I guess. People do what we want when we want them to do it usually. We snap our fingers and they come. There are very few things that we worry about, because for the most part, I guess we don’t have to worry; we let others do it for us.
