Max whistled a random tune and fired up his skillet, ready to cook maple bacon, pancakes, and over-easy eggs. Things had been going so well with Rick. It’d been two months since they’d first kissed, and they had been the happiest two months of his life. He let his mind travel back to the night they’d spent here in his bed. It had been incredible. He’d never experienced anything like it. And getting so much uninterrupted time together had felt so right. It was a shame they would rarely get to do that. If ever again. A sadness washed over Max, but he pushed it away. Part of him ached to be with Rick and it was getting harder to resist by the day.
He took his breakfast into the garden and sat in the shade of the garage to eat. Max waved away a bug that flew in his face and took a sip of his coffee. It was hot out there already today, and the sun wasn’t even at its peak. It was peaceful, though, with the sounds of lawnmowers humming and someone splashing in their pool. He could’ve stayed out there all day. But they had an important job to do. He hoped the others wouldn’t take too long to get up, but three hours later he had warmed up his voice and was still waiting for them.
Two o’clock. Two fucking o’clock. This was ridiculous. Max paced his room. The loud music he was playing hadn’t made the slightest bit of difference. Perhaps it hadn’t been his greatest idea to keep this from them until today.
Pete was expecting them at three to record their new album so they could upload their music before they went, and also so they could take some CDs with them to sell. He’d rearranged a load of work so they could do this. If they didn’t show up, Pete would be pissed. He had no other option left; he was gonna have to wake them all. Tony first.
Banging on Tony’s door didn’t get him a response. Cringing, Max eased the door open. Thankfully, Tony had left it unlocked. He shielded his eyes with his hand and approached the bed, catching his foot on something and swearing as he fought to stop himself from face-planting onto Tony’s bed.
“What the fuck, Max.” Tony rolled over and stared at him with bleary eyes. “This’d better be a fucking emergency.”
“It is.” Max picked up a T-shirt from the floor and threw it at him. “Get dressed. We’re recording Languid Lunatics in an hour. I booked studio time with Pete.”
“We’re what?” Sitting bolt upright, Tony leaned back on his elbows and narrowed his gaze. “What’s the—”
“We’ve got a gig in London in a week, and so we need our new album online by then. Surprise!”
“London?” Tony scrubbed at his eyes and shook his head. “What the fuck have you gone and done?”
Max grinned. “Think this is the chance we’ve been waiting for? Purple Method’s big break?”
“What I think is why the fuck you didn’t mention this earlier,” Tony shouted and leaped out of bed, pulling on some jeans. “How did you—”
“Dietmar, Rick’s friend—”
“But that was three and a half fucking weeks ago that he saw us. Have you known all that time? I might have guessed he’d be involved.”
Max froze, his pulse suddenly pounding. “What’s that supposed to mean? What’s wrong with Rick helping us out? He’s a friend—”
“Is he?” Tony paused before pulling the T-shirt over his head. “Is that what he is? A friend?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Wake the fuck up. Rick is gay. You think friendship is all he wants from you? How can you be so fucking naïve? You’re acting like a sixteen-year-old virgin. Grow up, Max. Un-fucking-believable. You think he’s giving you self-defense lessons out of the kindness of his heart?”
Max was stunned. “How do you—”
“And he’d better not be coming to London with us.”
“But… it’s his friend.”
“Fucking perfect.” Tony shoved past him. “Do you want everyone to think you’re sleeping with him?”
Max watched as Tony brushed his hair and finished getting ready, and then he took a deep breath and looked Tony right in the eyes. Not being able to be with Rick out in the open when he was with his friends had become unbearable. And hearing Tony speak about Rick in that way was just awful. Rick had become too important to him to keep this up any longer.
He felt amazingly calm as he said, “But I am sleeping with him, Tony. I’m gay.”
Nervous relief washed through him. He was tired of pretending; it was exhausting. It felt amazing to finally say those words. To finally own who he was and stand up to his brother. Rick had given him the confidence to do this, and he knew Rick would take care of him if this went badly. There was no way he could’ve stood by and not defended Rick, not defended himself.
Max stared at Tony, defiantly watching as a multitude of emotions crossed Tony’s face.
Tony’s eyes widened. “No!”
“Yes.” Heat flushed through his body, and he screamed, “I always have been, and I’m not going to hide it anymore. You need to accept this is a part of who I am.”
“No! You can’t. You can’t be.” Tony broke down with uncontrollable tears, which chilled Max to the core. He’d never seen his brother cry before, not since they’d been adults. “I can’t lose you, Max.” Tony’s voice was shaky, and he dropped to his knees, his body trembling. “Please don’t do this. I’m begging you. Please….”
Max’s heartbeat was racing. Tony looked defeated, and it was terrifying. Tears soaked Max’s cheeks as he got down on the ground next to Tony and hugged him close. “You’re not going to lose me. Why would you think that?”
“Todd from Vanquished Villains, Kris from Norshell Arachne, Damon from Coco Mashita….”
Suddenly Max got it, and a lump formed in his throat. “I’m not going to kill myself, Tony. Hey, look at me.” He lifted Tony’s chin. His eyes were red and puffy, his face wet. Max lifted the bottom of his T-shirt and dried Tony’s face. “Is that why you’ve been making this so hard for me?” Tony wouldn’t look him in the eyes, and Max huffed a laugh. “You’re a fucking idiot. You’ve been making my life hell.” He lay back on the floor and placed his hand on his forehead, trying to process what had just happened and what that meant for the future. “So… let me get this right. Are you even bothered that I like guys? Other than it might make me want to kill myself.”
Tony sniffed and punched his arm, hard, and lay on the floor next to him. “I don’t give a fuck who you’re sleeping with.” He sighed. “It’s everyone else’s reaction that worries me. You saw what happened in the media with Todd. They didn’t leave him alone. And they were really cruel and intrusive.”
“Yeah. I know.” Max scrubbed at his face. “I guess it’s a good thing we haven’t hit the big time yet.”
“But we will, though. What then? What if you’re right and this London gig takes us to the next level?”
“I guess we have to take it one step at a time.” Max turned to stare at Tony. “Is it okay if we just tell our close friends at the moment?”
“Yeah. Sure.” Tony reached for his hand and squeezed. “So, Rick, huh?”
“Yeah.” Max couldn’t help grinning.
“He’s a good guy.”
“Yeah, he is.”
“Think it’s serious?”
Max took a deep breath and chewed on his bottom lip. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”
Tony banged their hands against the floor. “We should go wake up Sian and Kyle. You want to tell them when we get to Pete’s? You can tell everyone at once then.”
“Yeah…. How do you think they’ll react? Do you think Pete will be okay with it?”
“Pete’s gonna be fine, and so will Sian and Kyle.”
“I thought he’d guessed at one point.”
“Na, he doesn’t know. I don’t think he’ll be surprised, though.”
Sian poked her head around the door and sniggered. “You guys okay down there?”
“Yeah,” Tony said. “Is Kyle up? We’re all heading over to Pete’s.”
“ONLY AN hour late. I’m impressed,” Pete said as the four of them shuffled throug
h his front door.
“Sorry,” Max said. “There was an incident.”
Pete sighed and showed them through to the studio. “There usually is. Don’t worry about it. Everything’s set up. Did you bring the equipment you needed?”
“Yeah,” Max said. “Actually, I’ve got something I need to tell you guys first, if that’s okay?” Max sat on the stool by what would be his microphone.
“Sure. What is it?” Pete said.
Kyle frowned. “You’d better not be leaving the band.”
“No, it’s nothing like that.”
Max’s hands were clammy, and suddenly he felt nervous. Everything was about to change with a few small words. He clenched his fists. “I’ve been dating someone, and it’s getting pretty serious.”
Sian shrieked. “Oh my God, that’s so exciting!”
“That’s great,” Pete said. “Who is it?”
Max took a deep breath. “It’s Rick.”
Pete’s and Kyle’s eyes widened.
“I knew it!” Sian said and hugged him.
“You did? How?” Max said.
“Rick?” Pete said. “What, my friend Rick?”
“Yeah.” Max rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m gay.”
Pete gaped at him.
“I know it’s a lot to take in—”
“Na. I’m happy for you, bud,” Kyle said and shook his hand. Then he turned to Sian. “How come you knew and didn’t say anything?”
“She didn’t know,” Max said. “I told Tony this afternoon. He’s the first person I’ve said anything to.”
“Apart from when we talked in the garden that morning,” Sian said. “Don’t you remember? I had a feeling you were hiding something. You don’t usually hold back on telling me the details, but you wouldn’t even tell me who it was.”
Max scowled at her, and she laughed.
Pete still looked shocked, and Max’s nerves returned. “Pete?”
“Sorry. Um. Yeah. It’s a bit of a shock. That’s all. It’s a lot to take in, you know?”
“But you’re okay with him being gay?” Tony asked. His brow was furrowed.
“Oh. Yeah. Totally.” Pete shook his head. “I just want to make sure you’re not rushing into anything. You said it’s serious between you and Rick?”
“Yeah. It is.” He was so relieved that Pete was okay with him being gay. He guessed it must be a bit weird for Pete that he was dating his friend. “Rick’s a good guy. He’s taking care of me. Don’t worry.”
“Yeah. I know. It’s just… promise me you won’t rush it, okay?”
“Yes, Dad,” Max said and rolled his eyes.
“Well,” Pete said. “I guess we should get started on recording your album, then. How did you want to do it?”
“We’ve got twelve songs to get through,” Max said. “It should only take a couple of hours I think. I thought we could record it like a ‘live in the studio’ album and maybe video each track at the same time? That way it wouldn’t matter if it’s not perfect. I know we’re cutting it fine with this.”
Tony laughed. “If it wasn’t for you hiding this from us, we’d have had plenty of time to record it. Anyway, what is this ‘not perfect’ bullshit? You think you can’t keep up?”
“Of course I can keep up.”
“Awesome. Let’s get started, then.” Tony smashed the cymbal in quick succession. “Pete, you got any beer?”
“You can have some after.”
“What?”
“If you’re doing this drunk, tonight’s going to be a living hell.”
Kyle snorted a laugh. “Yeah, don’t want you falling off your stool if we’re recording this—”
“Let’s get started before you all kill each other,” Pete said. “I’ll grab the video recording equipment.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Rick
Two hours earlier
RICK ACCEPTED the beer Pete handed him and took a long drink. His thoughts drifted to the upcoming trip to London, which was only one week away, and his nerves multiplied tenfold. It was going to be difficult for him and Max to keep their relationship secret while in such close proximity to the others. But that wasn’t what was stressing him out the most.
“You’ve been hanging out with us too much,” Pete said as he dropped into the kitchen chair opposite him.
“What?”
“You.” Pete waved his beer bottle toward Rick’s. “Drinking. You barely touched the stuff a couple of months back.”
“I shouldn’t be drinking at all.” Rick sighed. He’d been training all morning, so it wasn’t like he was slacking off, but Pete was right. What had happened to him? He used to be so disciplined with martial arts training his sole focus.
Max.
Max had happened to him and had turned his world upside down.
“I was only messing with you. One beer ain’t gonna hurt you.”
“That’s just it. It might.”
Pete frowned. “What you talking about?”
“Can you keep a secret?”
“Sure.”
“I’ve got an interview in London for a job training world-class fighters.”
“That’s awesome.” Pete held out his hand, and Rick halfheartedly high-fived him. “Isn’t it? I thought that’s what you’d been working toward.”
“It is. Was. I dunno.” He took another pull from his beer and then slammed it down onto the table. “It’s not that simple anymore.”
“Thought so.”
“What?”
“You’ve been acting all distracted these past weeks. It’s been pretty obvious that you’ve been seeing someone. What’s their name?”
He shook his head. “You’ve got the right idea staying single.”
“That bad already?” Pete whistled. “You sure they’re worth it?”
“They are….”
“But?”
“But what if I have to move to London? Their life is here in Elfinbrook.”
“Ask them to come with you.”
“That’s not even an option.” He sighed and pushed the beer bottle away with his fingertips. “How can that be a possibility when he won’t even tell his friends about me, let alone anyone else? How can I choose him over my career when I don’t even know if we have a future together?”
“Thought about doing it long-distance, then, maybe?”
Rick raised an eyebrow. “How many couples do you know who’ve made that work?”
“Dunno. One, maybe?”
“They happy?”
Pete grinned. “Occasionally, I think.”
“It’s difficult enough when we’re living in the same town, let alone different continents.” Rick groaned. “I never should have agreed to being exclusive. There was always a high chance I’d have to move away for my career, and that it would cause problems for us if the relationship wasn’t casual.”
“He insisted on it?”
Rick nodded. “If I wanted to be with him, it had to be this way. It just feels like I’m the one making compromises all the time. And the closer we get, the harder it becomes. Especially now with this interview. I haven’t even told him about it yet. Don’t feel that I can. I’d forgotten how hard it is to date someone who isn’t out.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“I don’t want to lose him. Things are going great, and I really care about him.” Rick grimaced. “But is a relationship I have to keep a secret, maybe for forever, worth throwing away my career over? Ugh. I don’t see a way to have both. I don’t want to give up on either. It feels like an impossible choice.”
Pete huffed a laugh, but there was a sadness to it. “Well… I made the wrong decision four years back now. Letting the love of my life go was the biggest mistake I ever made. Gets kinda lonely after a while.”
Rick stared at him. “I only get one shot at this, don’t I?”
“You talking about your relationship or your career?”
He let his head drop into his hands. “Both,” he m
umbled.
“You’ll figure it out.” Pete gathered up their empty beer bottles. “My advice? Don’t make any rash decisions. And don’t keep no secrets. Living with regret for the rest of your life ain’t no fun. Beer?”
“You got any soda?”
“Sure.” Pete gave his shoulder a squeeze as he walked past. He grabbed a can out of the refrigerator and handed it to Rick. “You want to stick around for a bit?”
“I would, but I have a ton of paperwork to get through.”
“Shame. I know just the thing that would’ve cheered you up. Ever witnessed a crazy-ass band trying to record an album when half the band don’t even know about the recording session?”
Rick snorted a laugh and tried to ignore the little flip his stomach did. He knew what Max had arranged, but he couldn’t tell Pete that. Rick hadn’t been able to see Max today because of this recording session. He sighed as he was reminded once again of all the secrets he was being forced to keep because of Max’s situation. He’d known it wouldn’t be easy dating Max. But he hadn’t realized it would be this hard. “Thanks, but I should get going. Thanks for the chat, Pete.”
“Anytime.”
Rick made his way along the hall toward the front door. He paused with his hand on the doorknob and squeezed his eyes shut. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Max, but what if Neil did offer him that job? He was running out of time to figure out what he was going to do, and right now he couldn’t see a solution.
LATER THAT evening, Rick was in the lounge, jotting down ideas for tomorrow’s classes, when he let out a loud yawn. He glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece. No wonder he was tired. It was nearly ten and he’d had an early start that morning.
“You going to head up?” his dad asked, checking the time and switching off the television.
“Yeah.” Rick stretched his arms above his head.
The doorbell rang and his dad frowned. “Who could that be?” He shook his head. “It’s very late. I hope that didn’t wake Lily.”
“You want me to get it?”
“No, it’s okay. You go on up. See you in the morning.”
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