Butterfly Kisses

by Robin Falcon

“Okay.” She said, oblivious to my behavior.

  “I’ll meet you back here tonight, don't let him try anything on you, Ry.”

  “Okay, but that's kind of the point of the date.” She laughed.

  I didn’t.

  “Ry, I'm serious.” The idea wasn't so amusing anymore. “He isn't right for you.”

  She eyed me for a moment before making her way down. “See you tonight,” she called up at me, ignoring my warnings.

  I swear if that fool touched her…

  Chapter 5

  Tyler

  *************************

  It’d been nearly twenty-four hours since I’d last seen Ryder, and it wasn’t sitting well with me.

  She’d been spending more time with our other friends, which wouldn’t have bothered me so much if it was just Sadie. However, sometimes it was just with Joey and Tyson, and in doing so it seemed she didn’t have much time for me anymore.

  She was sixteen now, and it’d been months since I kissed her that night in the treehouse. In fact, after that date with Joey she went on several more after, and not always with Joey either.

  I did my best after that night to take up most of her time. That included movie nights at my house, weekend trips together, and even nights in the treehouse just talking.

  I even tagged along with her and Sadie sometimes, when they let me. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was trying to spend less time with me on purpose.

  Tonight, Ryder and I's parents were out of town. Weeks ago, we’d both planned for our friends to come over for some drinks, and a swim in my pool. Yet, when the night rolled around, Ryder was still a no show.

  Sadie arrived around ten o’clock, and we teamed up to play some beer pong. I guess a better description would be that we annihilated some seniors at beer pong.

  Over the years I’d actually grown to like Sadie, even though she enjoyed busting my balls sometimes. Our friendship, with Ryder, seemed to be enough to build off of because sometimes we didn’t mind each other’s company.

  She was actually pretty cool.

  Ryder did finally show up, at midnight, about thirty minutes after Sadie had already left with her boyfriend for the night. Ryder didn’t arrive alone though, she had Joey and Tyson in tow.

  I didn’t say anything to them when they first arrived. Instead, I grabbed a trash bag and started picking up around the pool.

  I saw her an hour or so later, sitting at the other end of the pool with Joey as I finished cleaning up. I wasn’t sure where Tyson had gone for the night, but I wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t stuck around to make sure Ryder got home okay.

  That’s why I didn’t trust any of these idiots.

  It also didn’t take me long to notice that Ryder’s hand was resting over Joey's. At that point, I stopped paying attention to much else really. Instead, all I could focus on was the sound of her fake laugh as it carried across the length of the pool, to me.

  I rolled my eyes, unamused. I knew that wasn’t Ryder's real laugh.

  Luckily, by this time, everyone had already started to leave with their sober drivers. Soon, the only people left at my house were Ryder, Joey, Katie, and myself.

  “How are you all getting home?” I asked, noting that Ryder and I had both had a few beers.

  “Well, I live right there.” Ryder pointed at her house, and grinned. “So, I think I’m good.”

  “Smartass.” I muttered.

  The other two laughed.

  “I didn't drink anything; do you need a ride home?” Katie offered, to Joey.

  I grinned. “Perfect, because I have to start picking up. It's already two a.m.”

  “What?” Katie yelped before pulling herself out of the pool and making her way to check the time on her phone, which she'd left on the patio table. “Joey, let’s go! My parents are going to kill me.”

  “Need me to walk you home, Ry?” I asked.

  “I got it, man.” Joey interrupted.

  I shot him a warning glare.

  He hesitated. We’d been friends for a long time and he knew he was already on thin ice with me, due to him and Ryder.

  “Actually, I better run. Katie looks frantic.” He said, offering me an irritated look before turning to help Ryder to her feet. “Call me?” He asked.

  “Of course.” She grinned, before leaning in to kiss him.

  The second her lips pressed against his, I felt like she had hit me in the gut with a closed fist and I looked away.

  Logically, I knew they’d probably kissed before. Emotionally, I felt like this was the first time she’d kissed anyone but me, and I hated it.

  I was always very careful, prior to now, not to be affectionate to girls in front of Ryder. It always felt wrong, like I was cheating on her. It was nearly impossible for me to get physical with anyone when Ryder was on my mind.

  So how could she do this in front of me?

  When he pulled away from her, he gave me an apologetic look. He knew he would pay for that kiss later. So, I hope it was worth it.

  Who was I kidding? I knew from experience; it was worth it.

  Ryder looked over at me now with a matching glare of her own. I could only assume it was something I did, or didn’t do, that had her mad at me.

  I rolled my eyes and turned to watch him rush off to meet up with Katie, who was already storming towards her car. She’d broken her curfew, and nothing was slowing her down at this point. He was lucky she was still willing to take him home.

  “You aren’t even going to tell your girlfriend bye?” She asked with an attitude, obviously annoyed with my showdown with Joey.

  “She isn’t my girlfriend.” I muttered in anger before walking off towards my house.

  “Wait, what? What happen?” Her glare faded and her voice took on an empathetic tone.

  That’s how Ryder was. No matter how mad she was at me, if she thought I needed her, she forgave me instantly.

  I walked into my house and she followed behind me, shutting the patio door. She must’ve grabbed a few things on the way in because I heard her dropping a few empty beer cans into the recycle.

  “I’m fine, I broke up with her. You'd know that if you wouldn't have been so busy with your tongue down Joey's throat.”

  I felt an empty can hit the back of my head and I turned to face her. “Ow, what the fuck?!”

  “Don’t be an asshole, Tyler.”

  She always used my full name as some sort of sick game of punishment, and it worked.

  “Oh, now I’m Tyler?”

  “When you're being an asshole, yes.”

  “How am I being an asshole? You haven’t spoken to me all day and then you show up, and you’re all over Joey?”

  “I was not!” She yelled in defense. “Plus, why do you even care?”

  “I don't!” I yelled back.

  The kitchen fell silent and we stood there staring at each other for a moment. Finally, she took a few steps closer to me so that we both were leaning against the same kitchen island, only a few feet apart.

  “I just wanted to get better.” She whispered in embarrassment.

  I glanced up at her. “What?” I scoffed.

  I was still angry, and bothered, by the image of her kissing Joey. Worse than that, I was now fighting the urge to kiss her again myself.

  “Kissing.” She said softly, as if, mortified by the word itself.

  “Why the fuck do you need to get better?” I asked in disbelief, remembering our kiss in full detail.

  “You said I was only, ‘alright’.”

  I was so worried she’d read into my reaction that night, that I overshadowed it by making her feel insecure.

  I was the worst kind of friend.

  “I lied.” I admitted.

  “What, when?”

  “That night.”

  “What are you talking about, Ty?”

  I couldn't stop focusing on her mouth. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to erase Joey off those lips and remind her of what it was like to
kiss me, her best friend.

  I stepped closer to her and moved my hand to her cheek, brushing my thumb lightly over her bottom lip.

  “That kiss, it was mind blowing.” I admitted, and I saw her breath hitch in her chest.

  “Ty?” She questioned hesitantly, heat flushing her cheeks.

  “Can I kiss you again?” I asked, terrified she’d deny me the one thing I was dying for.

  I briefly remember seeing her nod before I leaned down and brushed my lips over hers, familiarizing myself with her warmth. Then, I gently nudged mine against hers until they parted, my tongue seeking hers out desperately to taste her again.

  I barely heard the sound of her whimper before the sound was claimed by our kiss.

  I tucked my hand behind her neck and pulled her deeper, my other arm circling her and pulling her up against my chest. I was powerless to contain the painful groan that erupted from my chest is desperation, temptations I’d kept at bay for years were suddenly spilling over, and they felt impossible to ignore.

  I grabbed her waist, yanking her against me, grinding my hips into hers until she gasped.

  I broke our kiss to breath heavily along her neck. “I want you, Ry.”

  I felt her fingers tangle in my hair, pulling me back to her mouth, and I nearly lost all control.

  I kissed her again, pinning her body between me and the kitchen island. I thrust my hips against hers again and I couldn’t stop the loud growl that barreled out of me, her own moans reaching my ears in soft innocence pants.

  God, the sounds she made drove me mad. I had never wanted someone so desperately in my life, and yet denied myself of them for so long.

  “Ty…” She whispered against my lips, and I was instantly brought back to reality.

  I sucked in a sharp breath and gripped the edges of the counter that rested behind us.

  Stop, Tyler. It's Ryder.

  I ripped myself away from her. “You should go.” I gritted out.

  Her eyes popped open and I could tell she was just as consumed by the moment as I was. She wore the look in such a way, that I groaned with need again. Slamming my fist on the counter, to gain control of myself.

  “Why? I want to stay.” She argued.

  “Ry, we've both been drinking. Let's call it a night. I don’t think either of us are thinking clearly, and I don’t want to do something we’ll regret.”

  I walked her home in silence that night, and we never acknowledged that night again. In fact, I didn’t touch her again after that. At least, not for a few more years.

  Chapter 6

  Ryder

  *************************

  After the night at Tyler’s house, things went back to normal. I’d come over and we’d cuddle on the couch and watch movies, all of which was routine for us. Then we’d end up laughing and making fun of the storyline together, before getting lost in our usual popcorn fight.

  For us, that was a normal friendship between a guy and a girl. It was like a relationship, without the sex.

  Our friendship was created before we were even born, and sometimes I hated our parents for that.

  Now that we were older, it was too complicated to try to untangle our friendship from our newfound attraction to each other. Especially, when we weren’t sure if it really meant anything.

  So, we just pushed on as normal.

  Half way into my junior year I was nearing seventeen, and Tyler was finishing his last year of high school as a legal adult.

  When prom rolled around, I knew Tyler wouldn’t be skipping it like he did last years, because he’d started dating a girl named Crystal earlier in the year.

  So, when my mom found out all my friends had dates, she was quick to try setting me up with a coworker’s son.

  Luckily, for once, Tyler and I agreed on something. Neither of us wanted me to go on a blind date with someone neither of us knew.

  Instead, we agreed our friend Zack, who had just gotten out of a pretty serious relationship, would take me.

  Zack also offered the idea that we could pretend to date and get my mom off my back all together. At least, for the school year.

  Joey and Tyson weren’t too happy about it, nor was Tyler, when it started getting a little real between Zack and I.

  The ruse ended right before prom though. Tyler caught us kissing behind the school, while Zack’s hand was up my shirt.

  Zack ended up with a black eye.

  Apparently, at lunch, Tyler had overheard Zack telling the other guys he’d taken my virginity. So, Tyler came looking for us.

  It was obviously a lie, but that was still the last time Zack hung out with any of us.

  Tyson ended up taking me, since his girlfriend broke up with him a week before prom.

  We had a good time, even with all the chaos of finding me a date. Yet, Tyler still somehow managed to be the one who took me home that night. He said he didn’t trust Tyson to get me home safely.

  “Why didn’t you just let Tyson take me home? Aren’t you supposed to be meeting up with Crystal?”

  “I don’t trust him; Ry. High school guys are idiots.”

  “You’re a high school guy.”

  “Exactly.”

  I rolled my eyes. “So, you get to go meet up with your girlfriend at some hotel, and I get to go home alone?”

  He went silent, a scowl on his face. “I’m an adult, Ry.”

  “Seriously? You’re only a year older than me, Ty. What if I don’t want to wait another year?” I sighed before reaching for the door handle.

  “What, so you want to sleep with Tyson?” He finally asked, stalling me from my exit.

  I shrugged. “Maybe, I don’t know.”

  His grip on the steering wheel tightened. “What can I do to change your mind, to wait?”

  I rolled my eyes. “I need things you can't give me.”

  He swallowed. “Such as?”

  I glanced at him, nervous to even bring anything like this up. It was always an unspoken rule to avoid conversations like this.

  “I want some kind of experiences before I start college, Ty. Things you can’t show me.”

  "Like sex?” He finally cut to the chase.

  “Among other things, yes.”

  He caught me off guard, startling me, as he struck the steering wheel with his fists.

  “Fuck, Ry! I can’t be that for you and I’ll be damned if your first time is with someone who doesn’t deserve it.”

  I paused at first, shocked by his reaction. “I never asked you to be anything for me, and I’m perfectly capable of deciding who deserves my time. It would just be nice if you didn’t try to stop it from happening every chance you got.”

  He rested his head in his hands. “I can’t stop being who I am. It’s my job to protect you.”

  “No, it’s your job to just be there for me, and support me. You don’t think I hate the way some of your girlfriends treat you? That I don’t want to veto them the second you ask about them?”

  He eyed me quietly. This was the first time I’d admitted to not liking the fact he dated.

  “I didn’t know, Ry. I would never be with anyone that upset you.” He looked hurt, as if he knew exactly how it would feel to be in my shoes.

  “That’s the difference though, I don’t want to stop you from finding happiness.”

  “The last thing I ever wanted was to keep you from happiness, Ry.”

  “Then next time, let Tyson take me home.”

  I didn’t give him a chance to respond. I was mad at him, and not because of Tyson. I was mad because I wanted to share those experiences with him, and yet all he did was remind me of the fact he couldn’t be that guy for me.

  Tyler wasn’t mine to have.

  After prom things went back to our normal again, just as they always did. We finished the school year and then spent the summer at the beach and camping with our friends.

  He kept seeing Crystal, even when he started at the community college that next year. It was the first girlfriend
he’d stayed with long term, and I was faced with the realization that one day a girl would become a permanent fixture in his life.

  Tyler had taken me to school every morning since his seventeenth birthday. His parents got him an old Camaro that year, and he demanded I let him take me.

  Today, was no different.

  Even though he was nineteen now, and going to college, he still insisted on taking me to school each morning.

  Except this time, when we pulled in, he parked the car and got out with me.

  “Walking me in today?” I asked with a smile.

  “You better believe it. I need to do my monthly assessment and make sure the losers are kept at a distance.”

  I laughed. It was true, Tyler did ward off most of the guys at school still. Sometimes with intimidation, and other times by just making them assume I was taken, by him. In the past it had made me mad, but now I enjoyed playing into the fantasy that I was his.

  We walked down the hall once we made our way into the building and several of the girls who knew Tyler from last year, came up to make small talk. In true Tyler nature, he just put his arm around me and ignored them.

  They all waved bye to him, as we walked away, oblivious to the fact he’d brushed them off.

  “How you have friends, or girls, that flock to you...I'll never understand. You're such a jerk.”

  He grinned as we reached my locker and he leaned his back against the others next to it. “Hey, I am a nice guy.” He argued with an unconvincing smirk.

  “Only to me, or to others when you want something.” I laughed.

  “Who says I don’t want something from you?” He asked, and chuckled.

  I shot him a glare as I shut my locker. “I have to get to class, Ty.”

  “I’ll walk you.” He offered.

  “I don’t want you getting in trouble for being here.”

  “It will be fine. The teachers haven't even noticed me yet. I blend in.” He grabbed my books and moved his hand around my waist.

  I knew he was doing it to place a fake claim on me, but I didn’t mind. So, I tucked myself under his arm and leaned against him as we walked, playing into the illusion of us being a couple.