by Robin Falcon
“Come for me, Ry. Please, let me feel you come,” I begged her.
I felt her body tense.
“I’m coming! Ty, I’m coomminnnng!” She shuddered, in a broken whimper as I felt her body shaking in my arms as she came, sending me over the edge with her.
“Yes, just like that. Fuuuuuck.” I held her tightly, as I came down from my own release.
We stood there, resting against each other as we caught or breath.
“I love you.” I whispered against her temple and I felt her nuzzle back against me.
“I love you, too.” She responded, but the words sounded broken and emotional.
I pulled away from her, to see what was wrong and she pulled away from me completely. Pushing herself from my grasps.
She pulled up her jeans and turned towards the door.
“I’ll meet you outside.”
Was all she said, before she walked out.
Chapter 19
Ryder
I left Tyler standing there, and I felt guilty for that. However, I knew if I would have stayed, I would have convinced myself to stay.
I love Tyler. Yet, I have an entire life in a city four hours away, and he has one here. I can’t uproot all I’ve worked for and I can’t let him either. If we were meant to work, he would’ve come after me five years ago, but he didn't.
Twenty minutes later, all four of us, were sitting around a table at a diner a few miles down the road. We had ordered already and were waiting for the food to arrive.
No one was really talking, just awkward silences while Kirk attempted to make some small talk.
“So, have you guys eaten here before?” Kirk asked, trying to get a conversation started.
Neither of us answered, even though the answer was ‘yes’. This had been another very common place for us as kids. We would come after school to get milkshakes and fries. Memories that now only caused a lump in my throat.
I noticed Tyler passing glances towards me, but I avoided his attention as much as I could.
“Okay, so now no one talks at all?” Kirk asked, finally getting irritated.
I glanced at Kirk; I didn't really know what to say. Part of me should be used to leaving Tyler, but this time was different. This time we shared something that I'd been waiting for my whole life, and yet I still had to force myself to walk away again.
“Someone talk. Otherwise, I’m going to start talking about finding you two lovebirds in the treehouse.”
I kicked him under the table.
"Ow!” Kirk shot me a glare.
“So, what are the schools like up there?” Tyler asked, breaking the tension first.
“Great, you should come visit. You’d love the city.”
I kicked him again.
“Ow! What the fu…” Kirk glared at me again.
A waitress appeared with the food.
"Oh, thank God for you!” Kirk said to the waitress as she passed out our plates.
“Anything else that you might need?” She asked, passing us all a glance.
Kirk looked around the table at each of us, then back to her when she only received silence as a response.
“Sorry, I know it looks like I’m here with two other people. However, it seems they have mentally checked out for the afternoon. We are fine, thanks for asking.” Kirk answered and shot us all an annoyed look.
She laughed and walked off.
Tyler and Kirk finally ended up making small talk once they started eating, but I remained quiet. I knew once the meal was over, that was it.
I’d be leaving Tyler Watson, all over again.
After we finished eating, we paid the bill. Then all four of us made our way outside to the parking lot.
“I’ll let you two have a minute.” Kirk offered.
I shot him a pleading look not to go, but he did anyway.
“You can’t even look at me now?” Tyler asked, sounding hurt as my eyes were glued to my feet.
I gave in, regretting it the moment my eyes found his, and I broke into tears.
“I’m sorry…” I sobbed.
Then, I took in a few sharp breaths in an attempt to regain my composure. However, it didn’t come until I felt myself pressed up against a strong presence, warm and safe.
Tyler had wrapped his arms around me.
“Please don’t cry.” He whispered into my hair as his lips brushed over the top of my head.
He squeezed me tighter and I somehow felt stronger.
“I’ll be okay, I promise. Goodbyes are just hard.” I laughed, attempting to get my emotions in check.
He let me go and offered me that grin of his. “Goodbyes are forever, this isn’t goodbye.”
I smiled. Somehow, his words made me feel better.
Chapter 20
Ryder
I slept most of the drive. Which was odd since I slept so well the night before. I could only assume I was mentally and emotionally exhausted at this point. Kirk must have noticed because he didn’t complain about it.
When we pulled into the driveway to our place, I wasn't as excited as I usually was to be home either. Instead, I just grabbed my bags and hurried in, hoping I could get to my room before Sadie stopped me.
I didn’t see her as I passed the living room. So, I headed upstairs to my room and shut the door. I tossed my bags on to my bed and when I heard my phone vibrate, I picked it up.
Incoming- Ty – 2:37 pm
I hope you made it back safely.
Text me so I know you did.
I tossed my phone on my bed next to my bag.
The time to myself becoming short lived as I heard a knock on my bedroom door.
“Yeah?” I called in question to whomever was on the other side.
"Open the door, you stubborn ass.” Sadie demanded from the other side.
I rolled my eyes, before opening it. “What’s up?” I asked, hoping her intentions weren’t to pry.
She eyed me, then her eyes widened.
“What?” I asked again in annoyance.
She laughed. “You hooked up with him.”
“What are you talking about?” I barked back at her.
“You and the golden boy, Tyler Watson.” She grinned. “I can tell.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“I’m right, aren't I?” She pressed again.
“Why does it even matter?”
“I knew it!”
I rolled my eyes. “Can you go now?”
“So, five years of Tyler watch was all for nothing huh?”
“I’m fine. I actually found out he was never with Crystal that night. Plus, he asked me to stay, and I said no.” I swallowed down the emotions that attempted to make an escape.
She grew quiet.
“I’m fine.” I repeated.
She gave me a knowing look and opened up her arms, ones I happily walked into so she could hug me.
“It will be okay. I know it's hard, but you have worked so hard to be where you are. I like Tyler, you know that. Hell, I was ready to move here with the both of you, but he didn’t come. He could have, even after you ignored him. He let you go, Ry.”
She always gave me the truth. It’s why I respected her advice so much. I hugged her tightly and then finally let her go, smiling my first honest smile since I left my hometown.
“You're right. If he wasn’t willing to fight for me, then I’d be stupid to think things could work now.”
She smiled. “You still have us.”
Kirk was walking by and peeked in. “Who?”
Sadie elbowed him. “She still has you, and I.”
“Ow, you guys are becoming more abusive then I remember.” He teased. “However, she is right. You always got us in your corner. I like the guy; he obviously loves you. The problem is, love isn't always enough. He had a chance to fight for you, and you've waited your whole life for him. Maybe it's time for your happily ever after to be about more than just Tyler.
Sadie smiled. “I hate saying it, but Kirk is right.”
>
Chapter 21
Tyler
It had been a week since Ryder left. I wish I could say that I got in my car and chased after her the very day she left, but I didn’t.
I went home and did my best to get back to my normal life. The problem was, my life wasn’t normal. It hadn’t been since Ryder left the first time.
To make matters worse, this time was much worse. I couldn’t concentrate, or sleep. All I kept thinking about was, Ryder. The way it felt having her next to me when I fell asleep, and how it felt to have her next to me when I woke up. Everything about her suddenly occupied nearly every thought in my mind.
Maybe that’s what brought me here.
My grip tightened on the steering wheel of my car rental as I pulled off the highway at one of the rest stops. I’d been driving for the last hour, left only with my thoughts.
I was invited to a teacher’s retreat in a city about an hour away from Ryder's, and part of me wondered if I should make the extra hour drive to see her.
I pulled out my phone to check if I had any missed messages from her, but I didn’t. She’d yet to respond to any of my text messages or calls from the moment she left, just like she did the last time.
I sat in the car a moment, thumbing through all my unanswered messages. Trying to consider if she would really even want me to stop by.
Sent – 2:37 pm
I hope you made it back safely.
Text me so I know you did.
Sent – 9:09 pm
Hey, I’m worried about you.
Sent – 9:02 am
Kirk messaged me to let me know
You both were back. Are we not
talking now?
Sent – 6:15 pm
I miss you.
Sent – 8:25 am
My school is having a teacher's
retreat. It’s not far from you.
She never responded to any of them, which seemed like an obvious sign not to come by. So, I tossed my phone in the glove department and started back on the road towards the retreat.
It was two hours later, and I wasn’t sure how I ended up here. Yet, here I was parked out in front of the address I’d squeezed out of Ryder's parents.
She didn’t want me here; she’d made that obvious. The problem was, I needed to know why. Why didn’t she want me here?
When were younger I’d come to terms with why she left. She thought I didn’t love her, and she thought I’d betrayed her by hooking up with Crystal.
However, this time I not only told her I loved her, but that I wanted her to stay. I even offered to go back with her, but she said no.
I sat in the car for about twenty minutes before I heard a tap on my car window. I looked over to find Kirk standing outside my car door.
I opened the door and stepped out of the car.
“Hey, man.” Kirk greeted.
“Hey Kirk.” I nodded in return. “She know I’m here?”
Kirk shook his head. “Nah, she’s at work for another two hours. It's just Sadie and I. Do you want to come in?”
I thought about it for a second. “Does she want to see me?”
He smiled. “Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t need too.”
I laughed. “What about Sadie?”
Kirk glanced back at the house. "That's an entirely different question.”
We both laughed.
“She still hates me that much, huh?”
He shook his head. “Nah, she is just insanely protective of Ryder. She doesn’t think you will stick around.” He paused, as if assessing me, and my intentions. “Is she right?”
“It’s not really up to me.” I admitted.
He contemplated my answer for a moment, before changing the subject. “Nice car.” He gestured for me to follow him in.
“Thanks, it’s a rental.”
I followed him in.
“Probably a good idea. Now she won't notice the car and bail.”
I smirked. Kirk’s dry sense of humor was growing on me.
When he opened the door to their place, I instantly locked eyes with Sadie. She was standing at the window near the door. She’d probably been watching us the entire time.
“Hey, Sadie.”
“Hey, Asshole.” Her tone offered no hint of playful banter, or anger. One might have been convinced that, it was my actual name.
“It's good to see you too.” I offered my best grin, and I caught her demeanor alter a bit.
She smirked. “Break her heart again, and I won't forgive you.” She warned.
“Sadie, enough with the dramatics. The guy is here, isn’t he?” Kirk defended me and she punched him in the arm. “Ow!” He glared.
I laughed. “What if she breaks mine?”
Sadie opened her arms up for a hug, one that was long overdue and I wrapped my arms around my old friend.
“Then you two will be even.” She winked.
I’d forgotten how much I missed Sadie too. She’d been such a thorn in my side all those years meddling in my friendship with Ryder. However, she’d actually become a good friend of mine over the years as well.
I squeezed her tightly in a hug then let her go. “I kinda missed you.”
She smiled. “I guess I missed you too.”
Kirk rolled his eyes. “Poor guy, you’re stuck with both of them now. I should’ve told you to run.”
I laughed before Sadie elbowed him again.
“Ow! What is it with you two!” He growled rubbing his side in pain.
Chapter 22
Ryder
When I pulled up to my place after work there was a car already parked in my spot. So, by the time I reached the front door, I was already annoyed.
“Who's in my spot?” I drilled them both as I closed the door behind me.
Kirk and Sadie barely acknowledged me, other than with a shrug to my question. I eyed them both suspiciously, knowing something was off.
“You guys!” I muttered in annoyance. “Who’s here?” I pressed.
Sadie smiled. “Some cute guy stopped by looking for you, he’s upstairs.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. It wasn’t uncommon for Sadie to encourage me to move on quickly from Tyler, but it had only been a week and the thought of another guy in my room made me uneasy.
“Is she serious?” I aimed my question to Kirk.
It was hard to believe Kirk wouldn’t have stopped her. He was usually the voice of reason when she had bad ideas, with good intentions.
“Yeah, and for once I have to agree with her on this one.
“You two are unbelievable!” I growled out in anger before I stomped off upstairs. “Next time do me a favor and butt out of my life!” I grumbled back at them before I finished my way up the stairs.
I hesitated outside my bedroom door as I considered who it might be, and how I’d get them to leave.
Damn it, Sadie.
After a few minutes I took a deep breath and opened the door
“Hey.” Tyler smiled.
It took me a second to register that it was really him in my room, sitting on my bed.
“Why are you here?” I sounded cold, unintentionally. His presence had just caught me off guard and left me overwhelmed.
He just stared at me, his smile fading.
“I’m sorry, I can go.”
He stood to leave and I didn’t stop him as he passed by me, heading towards the stairs.
I saw him stall at the first step, and he turned to face me. “I don’t understand.” He said in an emotionally strained voice.
The sound of it threatened the very strength I was using to let him walk away. I didn’t want him to be angry at me, and I didn’t want to hurt him. I just didn’t know how to be his friend anymore.
“Understand what?” I asked, trying to sound disconnected.
His eyes caught mine. “I thought you loved me.”
His words struck my heart so harshly, that I remained silent in fear of breaking down if I spoke.
“I
love you, Ry.” He said with a genuine conviction, leaving no doubt in my mind that he meant every word. “Do you love me?”
I looked away from him. The pain I saw in his own gaze was just too much for me to bare.
“Ryder! Look at me.” He demanded.
I returned my gaze to his and I felt my eyes well up instantly.
I nodded.
“Say it, Ry.” He urged me; his eyes still locked with mine.
“I love you.” I admitted softly, a tear slowly breaking free and gliding down my cheek.
He took a step closer to me.
“Then why does it feel like I’m the only one who suffers every time you cut me out of your life?” He questioned. “Why are you doing it all over again? As if, it doesn’t even faze you.” He raised his voice a little, the anger doing nothing to hide the pain behind his words.
“You don’t understand!” I finally yelled back, more tears spilling free as I lost the strength to keep it together.
“Then explain it to me, Ry!” He demanded. “Explain to me how you can walk away from me again!” He choked out.
“I left the first time because you said you couldn’t love me like that! I didn’t know how to be just your friend, not without being stuck in the vicious cycle of hoping that one day you might change your mind and love me back.” I sobbed.
He closed the space between us, resting his hand against my cheek.
I nuzzled it, the warmth of his palm offering me comfort.
“I was such an idiot back then, Ry. I was a kid who thought he was doing right by you. I thought you deserved better. Fuck, I still do.”
“Ty…” I started, shaking my head.
He cut me off. “I should’ve told you how I felt back then.” He continued. “I should’ve came after you, but I didn’t. I understand that I share the blame for all those years we missed out on. I’m here now though, doesn’t that count for something?”
I looked up at him. “It does,” I admitted. “But we live four hours away from each other, Ty. You have your dream job, you bought a house, and that place is your home. I know you’ve always talked about started a family there. It’s just, too late now.”
