by Loraine, Kim
“We were made for each other. This is what it’s like when it’s right.”
Her eyes widened at my words, and then she clenched around me, her orgasm hitting hard and fast. She cried my name, and I came like a fucking freight train, not pulling out, not caring about the .01 percent risk. This time it was me calling her name and me clutching her like I didn’t know what would happen if I let her go. If I was being honest with myself, I’d admit that I wouldn’t be able to. Not ever.
* * *
Ever
We discovered each other’s bodies until the two of us were starving, unable to exist on sex alone. Clint got dressed and went to check the horses, returning with snow on his shoulders and the bottoms of his pants, but nowhere near as chilled and wet as when we’d arrived. He hung his hat, then pulled off his boots and placed them next to mine by the door. I couldn’t stop looking at him. And when he stripped out of his coat, I wanted him to keep going. But my stomach rumbled, loudly, and he chuckled and tugged me to my feet. “Come on. Chili’s ready.”
We sat together at the small dining table in the kitchen, eating dinner, drinking whiskey, and talking about everything and nothing. The conversation wasn’t earth-shattering, but somehow it was the most important thing I’d done today. The small pieces of learning someone made up the whole of who they were.
“What’s that scar from?” I asked, reaching across the table and brushing my fingers over the faint white line on his collarbone.
“That’s why you never get behind a horse without letting ‘em know you’re there.”
My eyes widened. “You got kicked?”
“Sure did. I was eight. Lucky she got my shoulder and not my head. I wouldn’t be here if she had.”
A chill ran down my spine. “You were so little.”
“Snapped my collarbone, damaged my shoulder. I needed surgery to repair it, and Mama thought I’d never touch a horse again. But ranching’s in my blood. I was back out there before I was out of my cast.”
“I’m not surprised. You’re the kind of man who doesn’t let go of something they love. It’s obvious how much you love this ranch.”
The intensity in his gaze hit me square in the chest. “You’ve got me figured out. I’ll fight tooth and nail for things that are important to me. For instance, this reality show. I’d never have considered something like that, but when I was at risk of losing everything, it wasn’t much of a question.”
“Wait, you needed all that convincing. You had to have your lawyer look over the contract and revise it. You needed me to come here and—” I stopped mid-sentence. “Did you trick me?”
His expression turned apologetic. “No. No. I didn’t trick you. It was important for you to come here like this. But I probably would’ve signed even if you hadn’t agreed to come learn the ropes.”
I didn’t know how I felt about that. This had been one of the best experiences of my life, and honestly, my entire world had been turned on its head because of Ryker ranch. In a good way. The best way. I stood, clearing my place at the table and washing my dishes in the cold water.
Clint’s big body nearly engulfed mine from behind as he wrapped me in his arms. “Don’t be mad.”
I shook my head. “I’m not…mad. I’m confused about how I feel and what’s happening here.”
“What’s confusing about the two of us finding each other?”
“You said it earlier. We’re from two different worlds. I’m just a visitor. I couldn’t ever be the rancher’s wife.”
“You could be mine.”
The bottom dropped out of my stomach at those words. “Yours?”
“I know it’s crazy. But, fuck, Ever, this is real. I can feel it in my bones. You and me, we’re two halves of the same whole.”
“What are you saying?”
“Stay. Be mine in whatever way you want. Just as long as you’re my forever.”
My chest tightened. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t leave my job, my shitty apartment, my life. Even if it wasn’t ideal, it was mine. I’d done it all on my own and didn’t have to rely on anyone to make it work. If I came to be with him, if I was his…I shook my head. “No. I can’t.”
“Why not?”
I strode across the small cabin and grabbed my clothes, now mostly dry, and started dressing. I had to get out of here. I couldn’t breathe. When I was dressed, I pulled on my boots and grabbed my coat and gloves.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Clint’s voice was filled with angry confusion.
I didn’t answer him. Instead, I put on my hat and opened the door to heavily falling snow but only a light breeze. I could probably make it back to the main lodge now. I had to. I couldn’t spend more time in this fantasy bubble with Clint where he’d always be there for me, and we’d always be happy.
“Ever, Jesus, what are you doing?” He grabbed me by the arm as I stepped outside.
“Let go of me, Clint. I need to get out of here.”
I wrenched my arm out of his hold and stumbled through the thick snowfall toward the stable. The cold made my teeth ache, but I kept going. This wasn’t so bad. I could make out the horizon in the soft cloud covered moonlight. It’d be fine. But I stepped in a damn hole and fell face-first into a snowdrift. The snow filled every opening between my clothes and my body and numbed my fingers and toes more rapidly than I expected.
“Goddammit, Ever, stop.” Clint caught up to me, of course. “You’re gonna get yourself killed out here.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“No. You won’t. And neither will Lily if you take that horse out in this weather. It’s gonna get worse before it gets better.”
“Call Buck; you have to have some kind of snowcat or something. I need to get away from this place.”
He gripped my shoulders. “What the fuck happened? What happened between the best sex of my life and now? Why are you running?”
Tears burned in my eyes, but I willed them away. “You want something I can’t give you. I’m not a forever girl, never have been. I don’t believe in soul mates or destiny. I believe in self-reliance and independence. You’re right, Clint. I’m not a rancher’s wife. I’m not yours, and you’re not mine. We shouldn’t have done this. I’m risking my job, and you’re risking your ranch being here like this.”
“What are you talking about?”
“There’s a no-fraternization clause in that contract you signed. We both broke it. If they find out, they’ll fire me, maybe even pull the plug on the show. And that advance you got? Kiss it goodbye.”
He closed his eyes and took a long breath. “Fuck.”
“Exactly.”
14
Clint
“Lone Eagle said they lost three hundred head of cattle in the storm,” Tristan said three days later. “They’re gonna have a rough season.”
I nodded, staring out the kitchen window in the main house while I sipped my coffee. “We’ll offer what help we can.”
“Roads are finally clear.”
“Yep.”
“Means the airport is open.”
The knife Ever had embedded in my heart that night in the snow twisted. “Yep.”
“Ever’s leaving.”
Twist. Twist. Twist. “It’s time for her to go back where she belongs.”
Tristan scoffed. “Coward.”
I rounded on my little brother. “Excuse me?”
“He called you a coward. And he’s right.” Sera stood in the doorway, fluffy slippers on her feet, her dark hair a rat’s nest from sleep.
“What do you know about it? You barely know her.”
“But I know what love looks like. You’re in love with her.”
Fat lot of good that did me. “It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t want this. Doesn’t want me.”
Tristan groaned in frustration. “That’s a load of horse shit.”
“You weren’t there. You don’t know what she said.”
“Then tell me, because the way the two of you look at each ot
her, I’m surprised you’re not married already.”
There was the twist of that knife again. “I told her I wanted her to stay. I’d give everything I own to relive that night we had in the cabin because it was the best night of my entire life. Until I offered her forever, and she turned me down cold.”
“Did you tell her you love her?” Sera asked.
Did I? Did I say those exact words? No. But they were implied. “I thought the whole be mine forever thing took care of that.”
“You’re a fucking idiot.” Tristan laughed and brought his mug to his lips, but Sera hit the bottom of it and sent hot coffee down his front. He jumped back and scowled at her. “You’re gonna pay for that.”
Sera ignored Tristan’s threat and leveled her gaze on me. “You might be able to catch her before she leaves with Buck.”
My chest tightened, and anticipation built in my veins. I grabbed my hat and pulled on my boots before stepping outside. It was still snowy, but nowhere near as cold as it had been the day of the blizzard. I jumped into my truck and started it, my hands shaking with nerves. This was my chance to play my last card. It was up to her whether she’d take the leap or not.
I barreled down the long road to the guest house, flashes of pain hitting me with every minute that passed. This house was mine. It was built to be the place I lived with my own family until one day, I took over the main lodge, and my parents moved in. Instead, it had stood as a reminder of betrayal, as a ghost of what could have been, and as one of the reasons my dad died. Now all I saw when I looked at it was Ever. She’d replaced betrayal with a smile, banished the ghosts of possibilities and replaced them with new hope, and helped me move past my dad dying in a way no one else had been able to.
The Jeep was parked next to the house, but there were no lights on inside the home—no sign of her. I leapt out of the truck with the engine still running, only returning to shut off the engine because I needed keys to get inside if she didn’t answer. I knocked louder than was polite, but dammit, this was my future hanging in the balance.
No one answered the door.
Twist, Twist, Twist, went the knife, a little deeper.
Key in the lock, I turned it over and opened the door. “Ever, you still here?”
Nothing. Not a sound. It still smelled like her and I wished I could figure out what combination of scents she wore so I could bottle it and keep her with me all the damn time. “Goddammit,” I shouted after searching the rooms. I slammed my fist down on the kitchen counter and turned to face the fridge. A piece of lavender colored paper fluttered from where it was stuck to the center of the stainless steel. Crossing the floor, I took the paper and pulled it free of the magnet holding it in place.
Clint,
I know you won’t understand why I had to leave. It’s hard to explain, but the truth is, we’re not supposed to be together. You’re going to find someone who can give herself to you completely without fear. That’s not me. This is the last you’ll hear from me. I’m asking to be taken off your show because I’ve compromised our working relationship.
Thank you for showing me what it means to live in the beauty of Montana. To watch the painted sky turn dark from the vantage point of the saddle, to ride into the wind, and to drink whiskey to keep warm. I’ll never forget my time at Ryker ranch. Or you.
Ever
I almost crumpled the note in my hand as her words sank in. This wasn’t anything other than a Dear John letter. She was ending it before it had a chance to be something special. I should have listened to my fears and stayed away. She was more like Jess than I’d wanted to admit. She didn’t want this life with me, and I couldn’t force her into it.
That didn’t make it hurt any less.
* * *
Ever
“So, how was Montana?” Georgette asked, a grin splitting her too red lips. “You’ve been quiet about it for a solid four days. Time to spill.”
“Educational. I think it’ll make for a great show.”
“I heard they’re expecting a thousand auditions for the show. They’ve already had three hundred applicants, and it’s only been open for a day.”
Alarm shot through me. “What? I didn’t know they were opening applications already.”
“Well, with the footage Joey brought home from your first visit, it wasn’t hard to make a promo video to drum up some interest.”
“Show me this video,” I demanded.
She came around my desk and sat on the edge. “Just look it up. Search the show’s title on YouTube. It’ll be the first thing you see.”
I typed in Saddle Up, and sure enough, there it was. In particular, there Clint was. My belly fluttered at the sight of him astride his horse, loping toward the camera with a concentrated scowl on his handsome face. The whole video was basically a thirst trap for anyone with a thing for cowboys. Somewhere in there, it advertised the show and the website for applications, but I was too focused on the man who’d tried to give me his heart.
My lower lip trembled, and I took a shuddering breath. Eyes brimming with unshed tears, I sniffled and reached for a tissue, but Georgette handed me one before I got to the box. “It’s not that beautiful,” she said.
“Shit,” I whispered.
“Oh, honey. What happened?”
“I think I made a mistake. A really big one.”
I couldn’t tell her everything, not without admitting Clint and I broke the no-fraternization clause and risking the ranch’s livelihood. So, I told her a little white lie. “I fell in love with a cowboy from the area. But I chose to come back instead of stay with him.”
“I don’t blame you. Horses smell.”
I laughed. “You get used to it.”
“Is that really something you want? To give all this up for a cowboy?” She looked around at the gray carpet and fluorescent lighting. “I mean…who wouldn’t want to live and die in LA?” The sarcasm was thick in her voice.
“I think…I was really scared of giving up my independence. Of relying on another person.”
She nodded. “I get it. You’ve always been on your own. It’s part of who you are. You don’t let anyone get too close.”
“What if I shut down the man who was meant to be my true love?”
She laughed and put a hand on mine. “If he’s meant to be yours, he’ll still be there when you go back.”
“When I go back?”
Her left brow arched so high I wondered if she had some kind of superpower. “You’re not serious? You have to go back and tell him you love him. All life’s problems can be solved with an admission of love. If Prince Eric had just kissed the girl, he wouldn’t have almost married a sea witch. If Belle had told the Beast she loved him when he gave her that fucking library, he wouldn’t have had to get shot. If—”
“I get it. But life isn’t a Disney movie. Love doesn’t solve everything.”
“No, but it’s a good jumping off point. Love is the leap. Life is what you build.”
Nodding, I pushed back my chair and stood. “Can you take my meetings today? In fact, I think I’m going to need you to take all my projects.”
A smirk turned up her lips. “What are you up to?”
“I’m going back to Montana. After I resign.”
“Does this mean I get to come visit the ranch and find my own sexy cowboy?”
I winked, a flutter of excitement in my belly. “If you have them rewrite the no-fraternization clause.”
I grabbed my coat and purse, then walked down the long hall, past cubicles and open office doors until I reached the closed door that would lead to my boss’ office.
“Is he in there?” I asked his assistant, a young man named Karl who hated pretty much everyone.
“Yes, but he’s on a call.”
I didn’t care. I wasn’t about to wait for him. This was my entire future. I opened the door even as Karl got up from his chair and told me to stop.
Maxwell Gresham sat behind his desk, brow furrowed as he listened intently t
o the person on the other end of the line. He looked at me and held up a finger. “Mr. Ryker, I understand, but—”
My blood ran cold.
“She’s not…yes…there’s nothing to say that can’t be amended.”
Stomach churning, I swallowed back the unease clogging my throat.
“I’ll tell her. Yes. I’m sure she’ll understand.” He looked at me. “She’s standing right in front of me.”
My heart lurched. He was definitely talking to Clint and definitely about me. When he hung up, he looked at me with concern on his features. “Do you have anything you need to tell me about your time at Ryker ranch, Ever?”
I took a breath and opened my mouth, but he continued.
“That was Clint Ryker. Whatever you did, you convinced him to sign the offer I sent yesterday for a second season.”
Surprise hit me in the gut. “Second season?”
“Yes. The response to the teaser has been so good, we’ve been given the green light for two seasons in a row. We’ll have a spring season and a summer. It’s going to be the biggest thing since Survivor. And you’re at the helm.”
“Me?”
“It was part of the deal. Mr. Ryker insisted you be given top producer billing. This is your big break, young lady.”
Did Clint not want me with him after all? He’d just single-handedly signed a contract that would keep us apart as long as we were attached to the show. A show which was now likely going to go on for quite some time.
“I…”
“Aren’t you excited? This is huge for you.”
“I…” I forced myself to gain control of my words. “I quit.”
15
Clint
I fucking hated flying. The seats were cramped, people were too loud, and the air was recycled. But as the plane touched down at LAX, I couldn’t have been more grateful for the short travel time. Grabbing my hat from the under the seat in front of me, I got off the plane and made my way straight to the rental car kiosks. In less than an hour, I was on the road and on my way to Ever. At least, to her office.
