by Mia Archer
"Nothing out there for you either Jasmine," she said.
I squeezed my eyes shut and sighed. Of course she wouldn't be able to resist getting in a dig.
"You got a problem Tara?" I asked, a warning coming to my voice.
Not that she ever picked up on it. Or if she did pick up on it she decided it was just a sign whatever she was doing was working. God I hated her.
"Maybe I do have a problem," she said. "After all, I can't understand why they let a dyke like you in the changing room with us."
I looked her up and down. Put my hands on my hips. Cocked my head to the side and made a show of really examining her. Looking at her in the same way she probably expected everybody to look at her, because of course she was the center of attention. In her world, at least.
Well. Time to knock her down a peg. She thought the whole world revolved around her? That everyone was so in love with her? Well it was time to pop that bubble.
"I don't think you have to worry Tara," I said.
"Why's that? I see the way you…"
I held up a hand and she stopped. Everyone else leaned forward waiting to see what I’d say.
I didn't bother explaining to her that this was just a job. That being a lesbian didn't mean I walked into it changing rooms ogling everyone. That I wasn't in a perpetual state of being turned on just because I was around her.
I’d tried all of that before. Rational explanations and Tara didn't go together. So instead I'd go for a biting remark. Let her know exactly what I thought of her and her insinuation that I was a pervert twenty-four seven.
"Well let's follow your logic for a little bit Tara," I said.
"Okay…"
"I'm a lesbian working in a place where I'm surrounded by naked women all the time, right?"
Tara rolled her eyes. "Don't try to give me that bullshit that you're surrounded by it so it doesn't…"
"I'm not going to try and do anything of the sort," I said. "Yeah I'm surrounded by hot women all the time. And being surrounded by hot women means I have a lot of choices when it comes to who I’m checking out, right?”
"I suppose that makes sense," Tara said slowly. She looked around and it was obvious she could feel a trap closing in around her.
"So why the hell would you ever think I’d go for your chubby saggy ass?" I asked. "I'm not into cellulite."
There was an intake of breath followed by a new wave of giggles.
To drive my point home I walked over to Tiffany. Put my arms around her and grinned.
"Besides, if I'm going to go for anyone around here it would be the gorgeous Tiffany, right? What do you say? Are you ready for that walk on the wild side you’re always talking about? I could get you good and drunk first!”
"You know it baby!" Tiffany said.
We held each other’s eyes for a moment and I almost felt a little flutter in my stomach, then we both broke up in a fit of laughs. Tiffany and I had been friends long enough that there wasn't a chance I would ever dream of hitting on her. Seriously hitting on her, at least. Even if she was hot enough that I wouldn't mind hitting on her if she wasn't a friend. And she wasn't completely straight.
Which was a damn shame, but you learned to take those breaks when you were interested in the same sex.
"You're such a bitch," Tara said.
She flopped down at her table and started working on her makeup.
"Yeah keep slathering on that makeup," I said. "If you put enough on then that coupled with the dark lighting might be enough to make you attractive enough to get a few bucks."
Tara flipped me the bird. And it wasn't a friendly bird flipping like some of the other girls did when we were bullshitting getting ready for a set. No, Tara was good and pissed off. I'd hit her where it hurt right in her ego.
But that was the least she deserved for being such a jerk.
If she was going to try and use my sexuality against me then the gloves were off. I wasn't pulling any punches. Not that I ever had. I’d learned early on that it was easier to hit people head-on when they were being jerks about the whole lesbian thing.
I looked up at the clock hanging over the door to the changing room. I was on in a moment. And sure enough Jessica came walking in, her breasts bouncing in a somewhat distracting way but some money tucked under her arm along with her clothes which was promising.
Hey, I might be professional about not ogling my friends in a work environment, but I wasn't dead. That didn't mean I didn't notice a good thing when I saw it. Even if I did force myself to pull my eyes away so I wouldn't freak anyone out.
"You're up," Jessica said, hitting me with a smile.
Jessica looked down at Tara who was knocking things around on her table. Then to everyone else who was barely concealing their giggles. Finally she looked to me.
“What the hell happened in here?"
"Just Tara being a bitch like usual," I said. "Now if you'll excuse me I have a set to do."
I stepped out into the dark hall leading out to the stage and took a deep breath like I always did when I was getting ready to perform. It was go time. Time to show off and hopefully get a little bit of money.
3
Taylor
"The Lacey Garter? Are you serious?"
"Yeah!" Dan said, completely not picking up on the unspoken judgment in my voice. "Isn't it great?”
"It's something all right," I said.
The club was dilapidated and broken down on the outside. I could see a couple of bright neon lights that maybe worked once upon a time, but those either weren't working or the owner was trying to save a few bucks on the electric bill by not turning them on at night.
Everything else about the place was just as sad. The outside looked like it hadn’t seen a new paint job in at least a decade. Everything was faded and the paint was flaking away in spots.
In short, it didn't look like best strip joint in town. I didn't care what Dan said.
Jason popped up and grinned. “Oh man I can’t wait to get in there. It’s been a few years since I’ve been to the Garter.”
I turned and eyed him, trying my hardest to play nice. I was pretty sure the only reason he got an invite was because Stephen couldn’t very well have a party where he only invited some of the guys, but it still irritated me having him nearby.
“You talk about this like you’re some connoisseur of strip clubs or something,” I said.
“I mean I don’t want to brag, but I’ve been to just about every club in the city so I know what I’m talking about,” Jason said, puffing his chest out like that was something he should be proud of or something.
“Yeah, you might not want to brag about that,” I said.
"Come on," Stephen said, elbowing me in the side. "You said you were going to come out and have a good time, and you're not acting like you're having a very good time."
I looked at him and grinned. "I said I would come out with you guys. I never said anything about having a good time."
“Disregard the sourpuss in the back seat," Dan said. "This is the best place in town and we’re going to have an awesome time!"
I looked at the club again. It looked at some of the guys streaming in. It was a sad assortment of men with loose ties and button up shirts. The sort of guys who looked like they’d either never had a relationship, had a relationship that was on the rocks, or they were divorcees.
Okay, so I was probably being a little to judgmental tonight. It was a byproduct of the irritation I already felt at being dragged out here in the first place.
Coming here was a bad idea. They'd been looking at me expectantly whenever they talked about lap dances and I just knew that a part of the reason they wanted me along was the hope of seeing some of that girl on girl action Dan mentioned earlier at the office.
Nothing irritated me more than having my sexuality being exploited by a bunch of straight boys who wanted to get off on it.
I didn't mind the hot girl on girl action, just when it was being used to service a cro
wd of guys. I'd avoided situations like that pretty easily since college, and I didn't like being stuck in that situation again tonight.
“So when was this the best strip joint in town?" I asked. "Are we talking like the ‘80s? The ‘70s? It looks like they haven't slapped a new paint job since one of those decades."
"Hey now," Dan said. "Some of the best stuff was made in the ‘80s. That's when we were all born, after all!"
I sighed at the ridiculous joke, but I couldn't help but smile just a little. These guys might be irritating sometimes, but they were still my work buddies and there were still times when even Dan's lame humor could be worth a smile.
"Come on," I said, opening my car door. "Let's get in there and get this over with."
Stephen fixed me with a look that said I was ruining his fun. So I forced a smile.
"I mean let's get ready to have an awesome time!"
"That's more like it!" Stephen said, some excitement coming to his voice.
I smiled. The guy seemed like he was genuinely looking forward to this. Then again he'd never struck me as the type to go out and get too wild. This was probably the most excitement he'd had in a good long time, and I hoped that he didn't piss off his fiancée by doing this.
It wouldn't be the first time I'd heard of a marriage going south before it even started because things got a little out of hand at the bachelor party.
We stepped through the door and I prepared myself for the worst. The place didn't look all that great on the outside and I figured there wasn't a chance they were taking care of it on the inside either, but once I stepped through that door it was like I stepped through a doorway to Wonderland.
If Wonderland was a place where women walked around topless, their breasts jiggling hypnotically, and a girl danced onstage to a Motley Crue medley.
Could you get more clichéd?
Still, the point is the place wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be from looking at it on the outside. Inside it was decked with white flashing Christmas lights that added to the mood. And I had to admit the girls walking around were pretty hot.
I guess it didn't matter what a place like this looked like on the outside as long as the offerings on the inside were up to snuff, and looking at these girls they were definitely pretty good looking.
I liked to think of myself as a connoisseur of the female form. I’d been around girls my entire life and I'd had plenty of time to figure out exactly what I liked. Not too thin, not too thick, and I liked a girl who obviously took care of herself. Who was fit. And most of the girls here fit that bill.
Of course I had to wonder whether or not that was because they worked out, or because they took part in some of the illegal activities that you heard about from these places.
Not that it mattered. It's not like I was going to date any of these girls. I was just ogling them for a little while.
I figured there was no harm in enjoying the view. Especially when the view was as nice as some of the girls I saw walking around the place. They were all probably working their way through nursing school or something.
Yeah, that seemed to be the story with all the girls at places like this. Again, not that I was going to knock it. They were doing what they had to do to get by in the world. Far be it for me to get all judgmental about that. I’d never been in a situation where I thought taking my clothes off for money was actually a viable option, and I wasn't going to look down on some poor girl who did find herself in that situation.
“Hell yes this is what I’m talking about!” Jason said. “Would you look at all this tail?”
He elbowed me in the side and looked over with a grin. I regarded him with a flat stare.
“What makes you think that’s okay to say to me?” I asked.
“Yeah, sorry. Forgot who I was talking to,” he said.
He disappeared into the crowd making a grasping motion at some stripper’s ass as she walked past. I almost wanted to see him do it so I could enjoy watching the bouncers coming out and giving him hell, but he was gone before it happened.
Good riddance. I couldn’t stand the guy. No one in our department could. It was a wonder he hadn’t been fired yet the way he managed to piss everyone off daily.
"So what do you think?" Dan asked.
"I think the view is pretty nice here," I said, more because I figured that’s what he wanted to hear than anything else.
"I knew you'd agree once you got here!" he said. "You aren't going to be able to resist these ladies!”
I rolled my eyes. “I told you no lap dances and…”
I trailed off because the lights went low as the girl on stage stepped off and the announcer spoke up. He had the sort of voice you’d expect from an announcer at a strip club. Deep and sort of like a radio announcer, but not quite which is probably why he was at a strip club instead.
"Are you ready? Let's give a Lacy Garter welcome to the one, the only, Jasmine!"
I rolled my eyes. Jasmine? Whoever was about to come out on stage really couldn't think of a more original name than Jasmine? Seriously?
The lights came on and another Motley Crue song started to play. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes this time around. Mostly because I was worried that I was going to pull a muscle or something from rolling them too much.
Really? Another Motley Crue song? The one you think about every time you come to a strip club? Yeah, that's what she was marching out to.
Whoever this Jasmine girl was, she wasn't very original.
Then she stepped out onstage and all thoughts about originality fled from my brain as I got a good look at her. Damn. And when I say damn I mean damn.
She had dark hair that came down almost to her shoulders. She had makeup done up to look nice without making it look like she was in clown makeup or something. But more than that there was her body.
She hadn't started taking her clothes off yet and already I could tell she had a dangerous package under her outfit. She wasn't done up like some Middle Eastern princess which would be in keeping with her name, but even from a distance I could tell she was fucking hot and pretty.
She had the kind of body that it made you want to sit up and beg for more. She had a way of moving that body that made me want to get a private lap dance, and I didn't give a damn what I'd told the guys about the chances of hell freezing over before I got a lap dance.
I found myself moving up towards the stage. I couldn't resist. It was like her undulating body was a siren call drawing me closer and closer. I couldn't help myself. I had to be near her.
I had to be near her and I was going to be near her. I ignored the catcalls from the guys as they realized what I was doing. I didn't give a damn about them or their catcalls. All I give a damn about was getting to know this girl better.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I told myself I was being ridiculous. I didn't have any more of a chance with this beauty than any of the other guys shoveling money at her, but I couldn't help myself. I was under her spell.
Some hypocrite I was. All that talk about how I wasn't going to enjoy the strip club, how I wasn't going to entertain the idea of getting a lap dance, and the first time I see a girl who takes my breath away what am I doing?
That's right, walking right up to the stage like a moth to the flame. I was acting like an idiot, and I didn't care.
I got up to the stage and looked at all the guys surrounding me. Realized I didn't have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting this girl's attention. I hadn't even bothered to take out some small bills before we got here so I could attract the attention of the girls on stage. I didn't think I’d need to attract their attention. No chance of that now either. I saw the ATMs helpfully positioned at the entrance. A five dollar fee to withdraw money from my bank account.
No thanks.
"You need some money?"
I turned to see Dan grinning at me. Like he knew exactly what I was thinking, and damn it I was going to take him up on his offer.
"You've been looking f
orward to this all night haven't you?" I said, trying my best to sound irritated but not doing a very good job of it.
Dan smiled and held his hands up in what I was probably supposed to take as an innocent gesture.
"What can I say? I figured if we got you out here…"
"So do you have any singles or not?" I asked.
"Here you go," Dan said, handing over a neatly stacked wad of cash. The boy came prepared tonight. It looked like there was at least $50 worth of Georges here. My eyes went wide.
"Damn. You really prepared!"
"I'm not going to plan a bachelor party and do it the wrong way," he said.
He sounded almost hurt at the implication that he would ever do a bachelor party "the wrong way." I smiled and shook my head. I might've been irritated at being dragged along, but now that I’d had a good look at the beauty up on stage I was more than happy they'd dragged me along.
Even if I was a pretty much proving them right by getting hot and heavy over this girl. Oh well. I wasn't too proud to admit when I was wrong.
"I'll pay you back on Monday," I said.
"Consider it a gift," he said. “Being proved right is all the payback I need."
I stuck my tongue out but left it at that. There were a few other rude gestures I could have made, but I was far more interested in looking at this girl onstage. This Jasmine who was so alluring. So enticing.
I don't know what it was about her exactly, but there was something that got me going. That made me want to know her better.
And so I risked looking like all the other guys out here to get a stripper's attention. Although I was at least unique being the only woman around the stage.
Not that I figured a stripper would actually be interested in a client, but this might be fun for a short little while.
So I held my dollars up right along with everyone else trying to get her attention and thinking what an idiot I was being the entire time.
