But after Linsey, he’d never even kissed another woman until Miya.
He finished pressing and opened the back door that led to the olive groves. Maybe a walk would clear his head.
So he tossed his soaking wet, sweaty shirt into the laundry and headed out in his sweatpants. It was his property and no one would smell him out here.
The air was warm here, which didn’t help him settle into his skin. Back home would be cold and crisp, making his skin sensitive to the touch right away. But in the warm and sweet-smelling air that had a tinge of distant lemon trees, every part of his body still bloomed alive.
And Miya’s kisses still tingled in his mind and on his lips.
This wasn’t how he had planned his life.
His phone rang while he followed the path and he glanced at the number. Home. Perfect. His daughter, the one good thing he had in the world. He answered fast and said, “Christine, hi.”
Her voice was so excited and happy as she said, “Papa, Dieu and I were looking for deer.”
Good. With Dieu and Miya around, his brilliant daughter wasn’t quoting him math problems for a change. He laughed and asked, “Did you find any?”
Miya quipped, “She says reindeer bring better presents.”
He threw his head back and let the warm sun soak into his soul.
For better or worse, Miya was in his life now. He asked, “Do you … Are you happy?”
Christine said, “Papa, I love Dieu and Miya. Come home.”
Her words made everything so simple. But he wasn’t capable of love. He’d been honest with Miya.
And Miya had said breakup, which meant she took that extremely seriously.
She’d even hugged her waist earlier, like she held something back from him. He massaged his forehead and stopped walking when he asked, “You love Miya?”
The smartest girl on the planet again made him feel foolish when she said, “Yes. She’s … fun.”
Fun was all Miya. She was the light that burst into the door of his house, and he’d tried to stop it. He glanced ahead of him and he thought he saw Miya’s figure in the distance. He took a step to follow her and said, “Right. We’ll see you soon.”
“Bye,” Christine said.
His sweet tiny girl went from baby to brilliant in a second, but it was only now that he was seeing her bloom with happiness.
He’d been doing the same thing.
Until he’d stopped it.
The wind brushed against him and he glanced at the path. He was alone, and he said to the trees, “Linsey, I promised you to never love another.”
The memory of her holding his hand until she lost consciousness hit him.
But then his mind flashed to the day he had first seen Miya, waiting for him in his library.
Until that moment, he’d been only half alive, but feeling dead, too.
Not even Christine made him relax. He’d been so concerned with her security.
Life suddenly had colors again with Miya around. He put his phone away and said out loud, “Guess trees don’t talk and I’m the crazy one today.”
Again he saw an outline of a woman and this time he was sure of himself. He picked up the pace and called out, “Miya?” The figure continued moving and he said louder, “Wait!”
If she was here, he wanted to see her again. He ran to catch her, but she was nearing the house. When she saw him, she held up her phone like it was a shield and said, “I have to answer a few messages. Later, Rico.”
Should he follow her?
She rushed back into the house. He began to chase her, though he knew he shouldn’t, but his phone rang again. If Christine needed him, he had to stop. He dug his phone back out. But instead of Christine he saw it was the CEO he’d texted for Miya.
His heart lifted. Perhaps whatever Jeff might say would be something to talk to Miya about. She’d have to see him. So he slowed on his path and answered, “Jeff, hi.”
“So you married Miya MacCloud who worked at Scot and Scot?”
His gaze narrowed. He hadn’t explained any of that in his text as he said, “Yes. Why?”
“I just got a call from Scot and Scot about the account manager change and I remembered your message. Tell Miya I’m prioritizing her meeting for New Year’s Day, at noon.”
This was news. His brain was sharp and on point. He glanced at his house and said, “She’ll be excited.”
Jeff said, “She was the brains of that company. Prep boys running the show only understand beer and chips, but my store is the everything store now.”
Perfect. She’d be thrilled that she was on track to get her main goal. He placed his hand on his heart and said, “I’m a lucky man to be married to her.”
The truth struck him as if he’d let out a secret he hadn’t meant to say. He squared his shoulders. Unlike Linsey, he had married Miya, and marriage wasn’t about running away.
Not the kind of marriage he wanted. The kind where Christine and he were happy.
Only Miya brought her brand of happiness that was better than luck.
His mind raced as Jeff said, “A smart woman is worth her every quirk. I’d not be the richest man in the world if I’d married anyone else.”
He stopped walking. Divorce had to be hard, but so was the future he’d offered Miya, where they lived together but never spoke except through email, which was what she’d hinted at this morning. He leaned back against a tree and rested his foot on the trunk as he asked, “So you regret?”
“Every day. I was the name, but she was the heart of my business.”
He had never thought of himself as anyone’s counselor, and they weren’t exactly friends. Jeff must be lonely, and hopefully this could be solved. He massaged the back of his head and said, “You could apologize for … cheating.”
Jeff coughed but then said, “I screwed up my life, but I’ll be fine. But if I can give you some marital advice?”
This would be a first. He hadn’t expected that, but he nodded and asked, “What’s that?”
“Do what your wife says. The old saying ‘Happy wife, happy life’ has merit in it, but I’m going to add that a smart, capable woman who’s in sync with you and your own dreams can create a force more powerful than electricity. Honor that.”
Now that described his wife. Exactly. She’d already made his life happy, and he’d returned that by making her miserable and pulling away. He nodded as a light wind brushed against him and said, “Thanks. I should go. See you soon, Jeff.”
After fast goodbyes, he pocketed his phone and headed toward the house.
Perhaps he needed a shower so he wouldn’t smell like sweat if he wanted to talk to his wife.
But if he asked Miya to be closer, was he betraying Linsey’s memory? Was he supposed to live forever alone?
The walk and fast shower didn’t stop the questions.
And he dressed, still unsure of the answer.
He’d only kissed two women in his life. His father had married the first woman he’d met, and his grandfather before him. Linsey dying had changed his own plan to follow the same path.
And right now he wanted to fix things with Miya. A breakup wasn’t good.
Hopefully, Linsey would have approved. He checked himself in the mirror to ensure he was presentable and headed out of his room.
The warm red glow of the last moments of the day shone through his windows. Soon dusk would fall. As a boy, he’d enjoyed waiting and watching for the moon to appear above the olive trees.
Life had been peaceful then. On the first floor, his footsteps echoed on the marble floors as he headed toward Miya’s office. He squared his shoulders and knocked as he opened the door.
She wasn’t there. Her desk was empty.
Had she left? He didn’t blame her, though his heart raced.
He headed toward the front of the house and this time heard some shuffling outside.
He stepped onto the veranda and saw Miya there, laughing with the waitress.
The waitress i
mmediately stiffened as he approached. His palms were sweaty, despite the shower, as he came closer and said, “Miya, there you are.”
She jumped out of her chair like she wanted to avoid him and headed to the buffet with her plate. “Can I fill a plate for you, Rico?”
He grabbed his and followed, saying, “I’ll get my own …”
She turned to him as she lifted the lid from the serving tray of chicken and met his gaze. “Of course you will.”
He added vegetable medley next to his chicken and sat down again. She piled everything on her plate again so she didn’t need to get up for seconds. As she settled, he opened the white wine bottle and asked, “Would you want wine?”
Her gaze narrowed and her lips thinned. “No … I don’t trust myself with wine and you.”
He froze. Had he hurt her that badly? He placed his hands on the table and said, “I’ll be honorable.”
She sipped her water and shrugged, “I know you will. It’s me I don’t trust here.”
Miya was the most interesting woman he’d ever met. His face felt hot as he wondered what she didn’t trust in herself. He never should have taken her to bed. But he poured himself wine and left a small glass for her in case she changed her mind later.
“Well,” he said, “I have news and thought you’d want to celebrate.”
She stared at him as he sipped his wine and then asked, “Business?”
So they weren’t trying to be friends. Got it. He nodded and said, “Yes.”
She turned toward her meal and picked up her utensils as she said, “Email me that. I’m just hungry.”
The word breakup hit him again, hard.
Never in his life had his throat closed up like this. He took another sip and put his glass down as he said, “Miya, I’m truly sorry, you know.”
She finished her bite and then met his gaze again. “Why are you sorry?”
He’d taken her lightness and fun and good nature and then pushed her away.
He should have been … better. He said, “I used you. And you’ve been nothing but good to me. You deserved better.”
She blinked like he had just said something strange, but then she reached for the wine he’d left for her. “What are you talking about?”
The idea of falling in love with Miya was potent. She was a force of nature unlike anyone else he had ever met. He pushed his untouched food away, folded his hands and said, “I had no right to be upset over an email that Cassidy sent to both of us. I had considered using her services, the same as you.”
She snorted and emptied her wine glass and then said, “Except I paid the money to find true love. And made the decision to fly to Avce to see what you were like, without telling you. But it was either do that or head home to Deerrun. Either way, I had to leave New York.”
He gulped his wine and then poured them both some more while he asked, “Why so drastic?”
She accepted the glass and said, “I was fired, and I’d already spent all that money where I shouldn’t have. And the funniest thing of all is that I never believed in love. I just wanted to be married and not … be pitied. And I was facing total humiliation back in New York.”
He slid his plate back closer to him and cut his chicken as he asked, “Total?”
She picked up her silverware again and stared at her plate. “I’d lost my job. I had no boyfriend, only multiple, horrible, short-term relationships. And I had to leave my apartment—where I literally knew none of my roommates well anyway. I followed a dream when I went to New York, and I followed a fantasy that brought me here.”
Maybe she didn’t want to be stuck with him forever. He’d have to face the consequences, but it was better to ask now, so he was clear. He put his fork down again. “Do you want a divorce?”
“No, I just want to win,” she said, and took a bite of her food like she was conquering the world. But then she finished and glanced at the table as she said, “And being a stepmother means I didn’t completely fail in the eyes of society. I just failed in the search for something I’ve never had … love.”
The one thing he could never offer.
Or he would break his promise.
Adrenaline rushed through him again, but he ate a few bites and let the silence drown it out. When he felt calmer, he said, “Speaking of winning, Jeff called me.”
“Yeah?” she asked, and finished her last bite.
He wiped his lips with his napkin and then said, “He said he was prioritizing your meeting for New Year’s Day at noon. And he knows you were fired from Scot and Scot.”
“Of course he does,” she said, like everything was matter-of-fact.
He reached out and patted her arm, and an electric shock rushed in him. He said, “He remembered you. He says he doesn’t want prep boys who only know beer running his ad campaigns, and he thinks you’re smart. You have a real shot.”
Her face brightened and she said as she stood, “Well then, hopefully Coral and I will wow him. Good night.”
She put her napkin on her plate and walked away. He called after her, “Good night.”
She waved and disappeared. He finished his last few bites but nursed his wine. He had no right to talk to her, but nothing felt right, even as the moon rose over one horizon while the sun set on the other.
Chapter 17
Miya brushed her teeth for the second time but that didn’t make the taste of lead in her mouth disappear.
Until today she’d never lied.
And she’d never been so afraid to go after what she wanted.
As she stared in the mirror, she saw a person she didn’t like. She was weak.
And she needed to fix this. Fast and now.
But as the moon shone in her window, she also remembered a second promise … to not knock on his door in the middle of the night.
She pulled her lounge pants on and zipped her yellow jacket, as the night was cooler than the day, and headed out.
Tomorrow she would set the record straight. Before breakfast.
Tonight she … needed to figure out how to sleep. And a walk through this huge villa might help.
The room next to hers had a Renaissance painting of a young, gray-haired woman with a huge smile. She was infectious, actually, in her white and blue trimmed outfit—not really young, but defying her age in style as she swung under a tree.
Whoever she’d been, she must have been marvelous.
Every room on her floor had something to stare at for hours.
Outside the villa almost nothing stirred. The air still smelled fresh as she made her way down the stairs to the first floor. She wasn’t quite ready to head to her office, but light coming from underneath one of the doors at the end of the hall captured her attention.
For a second she hoped she’d see Rico, but he was probably asleep. Maybe one of the servants was up. She knocked and opened the door to find out, and was surprised to find herself in a library.
A fire was roaring and she could see Rico’s sock feet resting on an ottoman.
This was like their wedding night in many ways. Even the rug near the fire looked thick and soft like the rug in his room in Avce. She ignored the choke in her throat. She’d not cry as she met his gaze.
He was still ruggedly handsome, even in a white t-shirt, black socks and boxers.
She checked that her sweatshirt was zipped and said, “Rico, I didn’t expect to see you.”
He dropped the book in his hand onto his chair as he stood up and walked over to her.
“I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “We have a selection of English books over here, if you’d like something to read.”
She took his hand and let the spark that raced through her go to her heart. She didn’t need to wait till tomorrow. He was here now. She stopped him from guiding her and said, “I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t want to bother you at night, but I wanted to be honest with you.”
He crossed his arms for a moment but then let them drop, bouncing a little as if he was nervous. “Miya, I�
�ve been miserable since you said we broke up. And then you ignored me today.”
True, but only because she’d not been sure how to act or see or think. She held her head up and those green eyes of his slayed her heart and made it like jelly as she said, “I said those things because I didn’t want to be hurt.”
He motioned for her to sit down in one of the chairs and said, “I’m not trying to hurt you.”
This was it. She might as well start this where it started, so she pointed instead to the fire and then settled herself on the rug near it.
It took him a second, but he planted himself beside her and it was almost like that first night in his room again.
“I know,” she said, “but you’re honoring a promise to your dearly missed fiancée. I can’t say I understand, as I never had anyone so dear to me, but I can empathize with loss. I never knew my dad as he abandoned us before I was born.”
His eyes softened. “I remember. I’m sorry.”
She relaxed her body and their knees touched as she continued. “My mom spent years being sad, so I know what it’s like to be Christine.”
His face flushed and he glanced down at the ground as he asked, “Is that why you said you’d stay married?”
“Yes.” She waited for him to meet her gaze. Once he did, she reached out and patted his knee. “But maybe you won’t want me as your wife once I say what I need to say.”
His body stilled and he asked, “What’s that?”
She pressed her hand to her heart like she needed to grow strength there, but once she was certain she’d be okay no matter what, she sighed and said, “I don’t want to be afraid. I don’t want to live my life looking at fear in the mirror and shying away.”
He pressed his hand on her shoulder and said, “You shouldn’t be afraid.”
She sucked in her lips. Time to be brave. She swallowed and then said, “Good, because I lied to you.”
His gaze narrowed. “You what?”
She shifted so she was facing him. She’d not hide away. It was time to face facts and deal with actual consequences. “I lied when I said I wasn’t in love with you. I said it like I was selling horrible peanut butter, and you believed me.”
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