by Paula Quinn
Would he try to kiss her tonight? She wouldn’t stop him if he did. She nodded and he led her to his family’s table.
Braigh was the only one sitting at it, a huge plate of food set before him.
“Third?” Adam asked his brother, pointing to the plate while he took his seat.
“When ye train as hard as I do,” Braigh said, barely looking up, “ye work up an appetite.”
“When ye eat as much as ye do,” Adam corrected with a smirk, “ye have to train hard or we would have to roll ye to the table.”
Sina laughed softly beneath her hand. When Braigh cast her a wounded look, she returned it with a repentant one.
“Have you both seen Laurel?” she asked them while she and Adam waited for their food. “I think she resembles her father.”
“I saw her,” Braigh informed them. “She’s bonny.”
“I was waitin’ so I could see her with ye,” Adam told her.
She thanked him. It seemed she thanked him often. He was thoughtful and considerate to wait so they could see the newest MacGregor together. It was what couples did. Though he’d been forced into something he didn’t want, he was resigned to it, had accepted it, and appeared quite happy about it.
It made her go soft inside to think he could come to truly care for her, that he was the one who tempted her to let go of it all, the shame of her parents’ denial, the “correct” way to behave, dress, eat, speak—the list was endless—and be free.
He was showing her how. For though he’d been forced into marriage same as her, and though he believed he would soon be forced to be chief, he hadn’t let the weight of it tie him down.
“How was it today?” he asked her, setting his spoon into his roasted mutton with stewed mushrooms and parsnips.
“Oh, Adam.” She forgot her food and turned to face him, then blushed at his intimate smile. “’Twas thrilling. I never thought to witness such a miracle. Everyone was a part of it. I was a part of it. ’Twas a day I shall never forget.”
His eyes glittered in the light, sparking fire in her blood. She moved closer, overcome with the desire to be consumed.
“I’m glad, wife.”
His voice enveloped her like smoke. She smiled at his claim on her and felt his breath on her cheek as she turned away.
He wanted her. She could feel it in his gaze. She’d denied him long enough. A thread of heat coursed through her at the thought of lying naked in bed with him, touching him with curiosity and awe, kissing him, letting everything and everyone go. William. She could never return to him if she was bound to another man. Other than William and Poppy, what was she giving up? Living at the palace while her father ruled? Whether he claimed her publicly or not, her life would change. London would become much smaller. A family? If she had Adam’s children, she’d be surrounded by family.
Davina and the chief returned from dancing and fell into their chairs, laughing. Sina watched them. Anyone could see their love for each other, feel the chief’s utter devotion to his wife. It was lovely to witness, and heart wrenching because it was everything she ever wanted.
She’d always believed the only way to have it was with her best friend. How could she betray that because of a man she’d known for a handful of days?
Thankfully their conversation turned to the babe Laurel and her birth, which soon led to the men inviting them to dance in the hopes of avoiding any details.
The women laughed and teased that they could see blood fly in a fight but the thought of birth frightened them.
Sina’s heart clattered as Adam led her to the floor, then turned and bowed to her when they reached the center. She curtsied, not sure what the dance would be or if she would know the steps. Not caring. She smiled into Adam’s beaming face. Oh, but he was so effortless to be with. He made it so easy to forget everything…everyone else.
When the music picked up, he stepped forward and bowed. The other couples standing in her row did the same.
She did her best to keep up with Adam’s leaps and turns. After a little while, she matched each one, pointing the correct foot and lifting the correct arm. The dance was vigorous and challenging, and when it was over, she fell against him, exhausted and laughing.
It took her only an instant to realize his arms had closed around her. The music had stopped. The other dancers were leaving the floor, but Sina and Adam remained, lost in each other’s eyes. With her palms pressed to his chest, she could feel his heart beating hard beneath his léine. His breath came heavy, but not from exertion. He ran his fingertips along her jaw, over her lips, dipping his gaze there, wanting to kiss her.
The music started up again and someone pushed into them as the couples lined up once more. They separated and laughed at some of the light teasing coming their way.
They were pulled into the next dance, and the next, dancing and laughing as if they hadn’t a single care in the world.
Later, Edmund brought Laurel to the hall for all to see and coddle. The babe was swaddled in a striped wool shawl and passed around to loving arms. The women all discussed what to make for the babe and agreed to meet the next day to begin sewing.
“What will ye be makin’ her?” Maggie asked Sina while they sat at the table drinking ale and whisky.
Sina’s heart warmed at the unspoken invitation for her to join them. Should she grow attached to them all? Was that it, then? Was she resigned to staying?
“I’ll make her a gown and a matching bonnet.”
Maggie’s blue eyes narrowed. “I’ll be interested to see it.”
“She’s hard on everyone’s sewin’,” Nichola assured Sina. “Dinna let her intimidate ye.”
“I’m only hard on them who need it,” Maggie said, turning to her great-niece. “Mayhap if ye practiced yer stitches more, yer skill would improve.”
Nichola smiled and patted her thick golden locks. “I’m in pursuit of Ennis MacKinnon’s nephew, Roderick. I can sew anytime, but Roderick is only here fer another fortnight.”
“I dinna like him,” Maggie muttered.
“Ye hardly know him!”
“He should be pursuin’ ye, not the other way roond,” Maggie told her. “I’ll speak to yer father aboot it later.”
“Nae!” Nichola protested, her smile vanishing. “Aunt Maggie, ye know he’ll listen to ye and ferbid me to see him!”
“I shall reconsider if ye come and sew with us tomorrow.”
Sina smiled behind her fingers and turned to Adam sitting beside her. “She’s adorable and ruthless.”
He nodded, setting down his cup. “And an extra mother to us all.”
“Two mothers,” she sighed, and rested her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand. She closed her eyes. She’d had too much to drink. “I barely had one.” Until she met Anne. And then she betrayed— She sat up straight and looked at Adam. Had she ever been here? If she’d been here…if she knew them, it might explain why she sent Sina to live among them.
Of course Anne hadn’t been here. She would have told her. Besides, she could barely walk when Sina met her.
“Dinna worry, love,” Adam said, bending to her. He took her hand and held it between them before he kissed it. “Ye’ll have plenty of mothers here.”
She watched him lift his lips from her knuckles, and she knew he was stealing her heart from William…stealing her from everything she knew.
Chapter Seventeen
Adam carried Sina to bed. He’d lost count of how many times he’d done it already. He didn’t mind. In fact, he’d be happy to do it every night. He’d like it better if she were awake though.
He didn’t blame her for passing out. They’d danced and drunk well into the night. By the time everyone had left, Adam could barely make it up the stairs, but he’d managed, carrying his wife in his arms and smiling proudly at Goliath when he made it to the top without wavering.
He wasn’t as drunk as his wife. Poor wee lass couldn’t hold her whisky. She would learn to.
He pushed the door open wi
th his shoulder and shushed Sina when she let out a little snore in his arms.
Hell, he was falling in love with her. He knew it was love because he’d never felt anything like it before. He’d admit it was a bit disturbing how happy it made him feel to look at her, but everything else he could get used to.
He knew he was a fool. She would never truly be his. But what could he do, ride to England to rid her of William once and for all? The thought had crossed his mind, but he wasn’t a damned savage.
He laid her in bed and leaned down to plant a brief kiss on her lips. “What have ye done to me, lass?”
She changed everything, set his life on a course for which he was destined. He wanted her there at his side for the journey.
All his life he’d sought freedom from duty, from his destiny. When he walked out on his lessons, he thought he was finally free, but he’d worked just as hard to be someone he wasn’t.
Only when he met Sina had everything changed. His duty, the most important duty of them all, had been forced upon him. When he faced it in the church and took a wife to keep the clan safe, it frightened him, but it also made him realize he was prepared to be chief. He still hadn’t wanted the burdensome title, but it was done, and he could finally stop hiding. But it left him vulnerable, open to her and to others.
He thought visiting with his kin and stopping to speak to the villagers was for her benefit, but it helped free him of the weight of caring for many and changed it to a desire to keep Camlochlin the way it was.
He left her dressed and climbed into bed next to her, too drunk and too tired to care about his clothes.
He lay awake for a while, watching her sleep, thinking about waking her. He wouldn’t. He’d wait for her.
But while he waited…
He closed his arms around her. She snuggled closer, fitting her knee between his thighs. He smiled at the feel of her, the scent of her, the rhythm of her breath.
He fell asleep holding her, wanting her and denying himself, knowing that if anyone tried to take her, he would kill them.
* * *
Sina came awake, aware of Adam’s heavy arm across her waist, his sleeping face so close to hers. She didn’t move. She remained still in his arms, their bodies close but not touching. She could feel his heat, his breath. She wanted to move closer, but she didn’t want to wake him. They were both dressed. She even wore her shoes. They’d been drunk and had been having such fun at the table with everyone they ended up staying until she didn’t remember leaving.
Had he carried her to bed again? Fallen into it beside her? She smiled at him. How was it possible that a man could make her feel the same way she did when she read her favorite poems? Warm and hopeful and breathless?
How was it possible that, despite what she felt for William, she’d had the best day of her life with Adam?
But in the light of a new day, she realized what she was doing. Whom she would be hurting.
If she stayed, she had to find a way to see William and bid him farewell the way he deserved.
Oh, how could she bid farewell to William?
She suddenly felt as if she couldn’t breathe.
She looked toward the windows and was surprised to find that the sun hadn’t yet come up. She hadn’t slept long. It must be why she felt a little ill.
She moved away from Adam slowly, reluctantly. But she needed air. She needed to consider what she was thinking of doing.
Adam didn’t stir as she slipped out of the room with Goliath at her heels.
“You don’t have to come with me,” she told the hound as she made her way quietly down the stairs. “I think ’tis safe enough here.”
He remained with her as she approached the castle doors. She was stopped by a guard who thankfully recognized Goliath and let her out after he sent word to the patrols that she’d be outside.
The first thing that hit her when she stepped out was the vast sky painted in streaks of indigo and crimson on the brink of dawn. It stopped her breath and urged her further along, wanting to climb higher, closer to it.
Illuminated beneath the soft purple glow, the small kingdom of Camlochlin was quiet. Thin plumes of smoke rose up from various chimneys in ribbon swirls. An eagle flew across the jagged line of mountain ranges cutting through the mist.
The stillness of the world perched on waking was so complete that she could hear the soft wind like music to her ears.
Sina’s heart soared in the midst of it all.
“Oh, Goliath,” she whispered on a shaky breath, “do I dare let it all go?”
The hound took off running.
Sina smiled, lifted her skirts, and followed. She hadn’t realized the castle was built on a slight incline until she picked up speed running past manor houses and cottages.
The sky grew lighter, and she could see Goliath already making his way up the vale toward the crest.
She kicked off her shoes and let her laughter ride the wind. Somewhere, a dog who wasn’t Goliath barked. She held her hands over her mouth and ran faster, not wanting to wake everyone.
By the time she reached the heather, her breath came in pants. Holding her side, she took a moment to rest and fell into the lavender sprigs.
When she felt Goliath’s cold nose against her neck, she laughed and rolled away, then sat up. The hound sat beside her, facing Camlochlin.
She turned to it as the sky burst into splashes of bronze and yellow. Golden rays of light filled the mist descending on the castle.
“Camelot,” she said, catching her breath. “Who knew outlaws and savages could build such a place? Is this what I’ve always dreamed of? Is Adam…What about William? Oh, I’m so confused!” She dropped her head into her hands, but before she had time to think, Goliath barked and took off running again, this time back toward the vale.
Sina watched him find Adam, who was exiting the castle. She thought about what she would say to him. Why she was out here alone at the break of dawn. Should she tell him she was falling in love with him and it was killing her? No matter how much she ran, the truth remained. How could she be free—be with Adam when part of her heart was still in England?
She kept her eyes on her beautiful husband as he grew closer. She was certain she couldn’t hide the unrest in her eyes, but he smiled, calming her as he sat next to her.
“This is the best time of day,” he said, spreading his blue-gray gaze over the vale. “Before everyone awakens, which will likely give us five or six more hours after last eve.”
She smiled, agreeing with him. He could make her smile, even when she felt so torn.
He pushed his shoulder into hers a little. “What keeps ye awake, lass?”
“My heart is troubled,” she couldn’t help but tell him. She had to tell someone. “Staying here means staying hidden in the Highlands with your clan, most likely never seeing anyone from my past again. Is that not true?”
He looked into her eyes, and she had the feeling that he wanted to say so much more than he did. “Aye, ’tis.”
She wanted him to understand it was about more than William.
“Even though my parents weren’t in my life as much as I would have liked, I will miss them. ’Twill be as though they died if I can never see them again.”
His gaze softened on her. “No one would stop yer parents from visitin’.”
She looked away from him—from Camlochlin. “I cannot imagine my father ever traveling here.”
“I know kin who have done it.”
Did he say king or kin? She turned back to him and he smiled again. Damn him for making this so much more difficult!
“What about the others? What about William and Poppy?”
His smile faded and it made her angry. “Adam, William was…is a big part of my life whether you like it or not. You cannot expect me to simply forget someone I’ve known since I was eight because you are jealous.”
He snorted. Goliath whined and lay down in the heather. “I’m not jealous!”
“Of course you a
re,” she insisted, lowering her voice. “You sulk every time I mention him.”
“Sina, I dinna know who ye’ve been livin’ with since ye got here, but it hasna been me if ye think—”
“I see,” she cut him off and folded her arms across her chest. “You don’t care about me. I was wrong, then.”
“Ye werena wrong,” he corrected on a low, thick voice and severed their gaze. “I care aboot ye. Ye’re my wife.”
“And if I weren’t your wife?”
“The question is no’ if ye werena my wife.” He met her gaze again. “The question is what if ye didna love another man?”
She felt the sting of tears in her eyes. Indeed, that was the question. She didn’t have the answer. There were so many unresolved things with William. She hadn’t seen him in three years. Did he still love her? Need her? He said he did when he’d returned, but she hardly knew him anymore. Did she still love him? Was it enough?
Did Adam love her? He’d told her he had never been in love before. Was she just his duty now?
“How did you keep from loving any of the women you’ve known?”
He pushed himself off the ground and stood to his feet over her. “I never got to know any of them.”
Sina looked up at him, her heart hammering in her chest. He’d defied being chief by becoming a careless rake. But he was so much more than that.
She held up her hand and he pulled her to her feet. “You’re getting to know me,” she pointed out, stepping closer to him.
“Aye.” His voice sounded like distant thunder as he closed his arms around her waist and dragged her closer.
“How is your armor holding up?” she asked softly, tilting her face to his and smiling at the closeness of his mouth.
“No’ too well, I fear.”
She closed her eyes as he dipped his face to hers. “Don’t be afraid.”
She caught her breath as her nipples hardened beneath her gown and his hungry mouth covered hers.
His tongue inside her was nothing she’d ever experienced before. Every intimate stroke made her weaker against him until she had to coil her arms around his neck.
