THE PETERKINS DECIDE TO LEARN THE LANGUAGES.
CERTAINLY now was the time to study the languages. The Peterkins hadmoved into a new house, far more convenient than their old one, wherethey would have a place for everything and everything in its place. Ofcourse they would then have more time.
Elizabeth Eliza recalled the troubles of the old house, how for a longtime she was obliged to sit outside of the window upon the piazza, whenshe wanted to play on her piano.
Mrs. Peterkin reminded them of the difficulty about the table-cloths.The upper table-cloth was kept in a trunk that had to stand in front ofthe door to the closet under the stairs. But the under table-cloth waskept in a drawer in the closet. So, whenever the cloths were changed,the trunk had to be pushed away under some projecting shelves to makeroom for opening the closet-door (as the under table-cloth must be takenout first), then the trunk was pushed back to make room for it to beopened for the upper table-cloth, and, after all, it was necessary topush the trunk away again to open the closet-door for the knife-tray.This always consumed a great deal of time.
Now that the china-closet was large enough, everything could find aplace in it.
Agamemnon especially enjoyed the new library. In the old house there wasno separate room for books. The dictionaries were kept upstairs, whichwas very inconvenient, and the volumes of the Encyclopaedia could not betogether. There was not room for all in one place. So from A to P wereto be found downstairs, and from Q to Z were scattered in differentrooms upstairs. And the worst of it was, you could never rememberwhether from A to P included P. "I always went upstairs after P," saidAgamemnon, "and then always found it downstairs, or else it was theother way."
Of course now there were more conveniences for study. With the books allin one room, there would be no time wasted in looking for them.
Mr. Peterkin suggested they should each take a separate language. Ifthey went abroad, this would prove a great convenience. ElizabethEliza could talk French with the Parisians; Agamemnon, German with theGermans; Solomon John, Italian with the Italians; Mrs. Peterkin, Spanishin Spain; and perhaps he could himself master all the Eastern Languagesand Russian.
Mrs. Peterkin was uncertain about undertaking the Spanish, but all thefamily felt very sure they should not go to Spain (as Elizabeth Elizadreaded the Inquisition), and Mrs. Peterkin felt more willing.
Still she had quite an objection to going abroad. She had always saidshe would not go till a bridge was made across the Atlantic, and she wassure it did not look like it now.
Agamemnon said there was no knowing. There was something new every day,and a bridge was surely not harder to invent than a telephone, for theyhad bridges in the very earliest days.
Then came up the question of the teachers. Probably these could be foundin Boston. If they could all come the same day, three could be broughtout in the carryall. Agamemnon could go in for them, and could learn alittle on the way out and in.
Mr. Peterkin made some inquiries about the Oriental languages. He wastold that Sanscrit was at the root of all. So he proposed they shouldall begin with Sanscrit. They would thus require but one teacher, andcould branch out into the other languages afterward.
But the family preferred learning the separate languages. ElizabethEliza already knew something of the French. She had tried to talkit, without much success, at the Centennial Exhibition, at one of theside-stands. But she found she had been talking with a Moorish gentlemanwho did not understand French. Mr.
Peterkin feared they might need more libraries, if all the teachers cameat the same hour; but Agamemnon reminded him that they would be usingdifferent dictionaries. And Mr. Peterkin thought something might belearned by having them all at once. Each one might pick up somethingbeside the language he was studying, and it was a great thing to learnto talk a foreign language while others were talking about you. Mrs.Peterkin was afraid it would be like the Tower of Babel, and hoped itwas all right.
Agamemnon brought forward another difficulty. Of course they ought tohave foreign teachers, who spoke only their native languages. But, inthis case, how could they engage them to come, or explain to them aboutthe carryall, or arrange the proposed hours? He did not understand howanybody ever began with a foreigner, because he could not even tell himwhat he wanted.
Elizabeth Eliza thought a great deal might be done by signs andpantomime.
Solomon John and the little boys began to show how it might be done.Elizabeth Eliza explained how "langues" meant both "languages" and"tongues," and they could point to their tongues. For practice, thelittle boys represented the foreign teachers talking in their differentlanguages, and Agamemnon and Solomon John went to invite them to comeout, and teach the family by a series of signs.
Mr. Peterkin thought their success was admirable, and that they mightalmost go abroad without any study of the languages, and trust toexplaining themselves by signs. Still, as the bridge was not yet made,it might be as well to wait and cultivate the languages.
Mrs. Peterkin was afraid the foreign teachers might imagine they wereinvited out to lunch. Solomon John had constantly pointed to his mouthas he opened it and shut it, putting out his tongue; and it looked agreat deal more as if he were inviting them to eat, than asking themto teach. Agamemnon suggested that they might carry the separatedictionaries when they went to see the teachers, and that would showthat they meant lessons, and not lunch.
Mrs. Peterkin was not sure but she ought to prepare a lunch for them,if they had come all that way; but she certainly did not know what theywere accustomed to eat.
Mr. Peterkin thought this would be a good thing to learn of theforeigners. It would be a good preparation for going abroad, and theymight get used to the dishes before starting. The little boys weredelighted at the idea of having new things cooked. Agamemnon had heardthat beer-soup was a favorite dish with the Germans, and he wouldinquire how it was made in the first lesson. Solomon John had heard theywere all very fond of garlic, and thought it would be a pretty attentionto have some in the house the first day, that they might be cheered bythe odor.
Elizabeth Eliza wanted to surprise the lady from Philadelphia by herknowledge of French, and hoped to begin on her lessons before thePhiladelphia family arrived for their annual visit.
There were still some delays. Mr. Peterkin was very anxious to obtainteachers who had been but a short time in this country. He did not wantto be tempted to talk any English with them. He wanted the latestand freshest languages, and at last came home one day with a list of"brand-new foreigners."
They decided to borrow the Bromwicks' carryall to use, beside their own,for the first day, and Mr. Peterkin and Agamemnon drove into town tobring all the teachers out. One was a Russian gentleman, travelling, whocame with no idea of giving lessons, but perhaps he would consent to doso. He could not yet speak English.
Mr. Peterkin had his card-case, and the cards of the several gentlemenwho had recommended the different teachers, and he went with Agamemnonfrom hotel to hotel collecting them. He found them all very polite,and ready to come, after the explanation by signs agreed upon. Thedictionaries had been forgotten, but Agamemnon had a directory, whichlooked the same, and seemed to satisfy the foreigners.
Mr. Peterkin was obliged to content himself with the Russian insteadof one who could teach Sanscrit, as there was no new teacher of thatlanguage lately arrived.
But there was an unexpected difficulty in getting the Russian gentlemaninto the same carriage with the teacher of Arabic, for he was a Turk,sitting with a fez on his head, on the back seat! They glared at eachother, and began to assail each other in every language they knew, noneof which Mr. Peterkin could understand. It might be Russian, it might beArabic. It was easy to understand that they would never consent to sitin the same carriage. Mr. Peterkin was in despair; he had forgottenabout the Russian war! What a mistake to have invited the Turk!
Quite a crowd collected on the sidewalk in front of the hotel. But theFrench gentleman politely, but stiffly, invited the Russian to go wi
thhim in the first carryall. Here was another difficulty. For the Germanprofessor was quietly ensconced on the back seat! As soon as the Frenchgentleman put his foot on the step and saw him, he addressed him insuch forcible language that the German professor got out of the door theother side, and came round on the sidewalk, and took him by the collar.Certainly the German and French gentlemen could not be put together, andmore crowd collected!
Agamemnon, however, had happily studied up the German word "Herr," andhe applied it to the German, inviting him by signs to take a seat in theother carryall. The German consented to sit by the Turk, as they neitherof them could understand the other; and at last they started, Mr.Peterkin with the Italian by his side, and the French and Russianteachers behind, vociferating to each other in languages unknown toMr. Peterkin, while he feared they were not perfectly in harmony, sohe drove home as fast as possible. Agamemnon had a silent party. TheSpaniard by his side was a little moody, while the Turk and the Germanbehind did not utter a word.
At last they reached the house, and were greeted by Mrs. Peterkinand Elizabeth Eliza, Mrs. Peterkin with her llama lace shawl over hershoulders, as a tribute to the Spanish teacher. Mr. Peterkin was carefulto take his party in first, and deposit them in a distant part of thelibrary, far from the Turk or the German, even putting the Frenchman andRussian apart.
Solomon John found the Italian dictionary, and seated himself by hisItalian; Agamemnon, with the German dictionary, by the German. Thelittle boys took their copy of the "Arabian Nights" to the Turk. Mr.Peterkin attempted to explain to the Russian that he had no Russiandictionary, as he had hoped to learn Sanscrit of him, while Mrs.Peterkin was trying to inform her teacher that she had no books inSpanish. She got over all fears of the Inquisition, he looked so sad,and she tried to talk a little, using English words, but very slowly,and altering the accent as far as she knew how. The Spaniard bowed,looked gravely interested, and was very polite.
Elizabeth Eliza, meanwhile, was trying her grammar phrases with theParisian.
She found it easier to talk French than to understand him. Buthe understood perfectly her sentences. She repeated one of hervocabularies, and went on with--"J'ai le livre." "As-tu le pain?""L'enfant a une poire." He listened with great attention, and repliedslowly. Suddenly she started after making out one of his sentences, andwent to her mother to whisper, "They have made the mistake you feared.They think they are invited to lunch! He has just been thanking me forour politeness in inviting them to dejeuner,--that means breakfast!"
"They have not had their breakfast!" exclaimed Mrs. Peterkin, looking ather Spaniard; "he does look hungry! What shall we do?"
Elizabeth Eliza was consulting her father. What should they do? Howshould they make them understand that they invited them to teach, notlunch. Elizabeth Eliza begged Agamemnon to look out "apprendre" in thedictionary. It must mean to teach. Alas, they found it means both toteach and to learn! What should they do? The foreigners were now sittingsilent in their different corners. The Spaniard grew more and moresallow. What if he should faint? The Frenchman was rolling up each ofhis mustaches to a point as he gazed at the German. What if the Russianshould fight the Turk? What if the German should be exasperated by theairs of the Parisian?
"We must give them something to eat," said Mr. Peterkin, in a low tone."It would calm them."
"If I only knew what they were used to eating," said Mrs. Peterkin.
Solomon John suggested that none of them knew what the others were usedto eating, and they might bring in anything.
Mrs. Peterkin hastened out with hospitable intents. Amanda could makegood coffee. Mr. Peterkin had suggested some American dish. Solomon Johnsent a little boy for some olives.
It was not long before the coffee came in, and a dish of baked beans.Next, some olives and a loaf of bread, and some boiled eggs, and somebottles of beer. The effect was astonishing. Every man spoke his owntongue, and fluently. Mrs.
Peterkin poured out coffee for the Spaniard, while he bowed to her. Theyall liked beer, they all liked olives. The Frenchman was fluent about"les moeurs Americaines." Elizabeth Eliza supposed he alluded to theirnot having set any table. The Turk smiled, the Russian was voluble. Inthe midst of the clang of the different languages, just as Mr. Peterkinwas again repeating, under cover of the noise of many tongues, "Howshall we make them understand that we want them to teach?"--at thisvery moment the door was flung open, and there came in the lady fromPhiladelphia, that day arrived, her first call of the season!
She started back in terror at the tumult of so many different languages!The family, with joy, rushed to meet her. All together they calledupon her to explain for them. Could she help them? Could she tell theforeigners they wanted to take lessons? Lessons? They had no sooneruttered the word than their guests all started up with faces beamingwith joy. It was the one English word they all knew! They had come toBoston to give lessons! The Russian traveller had hoped to learn Englishin this way. The thought pleased them more than the dejeuner.
Yes, gladly would they give lessons. The Turk smiled at the idea. Thefirst step was taken. The teachers knew they were expected to teach.
The Peterkin papers Page 18
