Love, Pain, and Madness
Ana
As soon as I stepped into the house, Cora pointed a finger to the stairs. I nodded a quick thanks before dashing up the stairs. Jace’s heartbeat was steady, making it easy to find which room he was in. I wanted to kick the door down, but at the last second, remembered my manners. Luckily, it is unlocked. Jace was peacefully sleeping in the middle of a queen-sized bed in what appeared to be a sparsely decorated guest room.
“Time to wake up, sleeping beauty.” I muttered, gathering some energy to my right hand. When I was satisfied with the blue swirling around my fingers, I walked over to his bed and smacked him hard across the face.
The shock jolted his body, and he flew up before crashing to the floor. I stood on the bed, preparing to jump down, but an invisible force threw me into the wall on the other side of the room. My body slammed hard, creating a huge sized dent to the wall.
“Oh shit! Ana, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that it was you.” Jace panicked, rushing over to me. When he was close enough, I punched him in the face, sending him back to the ground.
“Fuck! Why’d you do that?” Jace cursed, holding his jaw.
“Because you tried to kill Seb and me! You better explain now or your grandma might not make it up here in time to save you” I threatened.
I was boiling with anger. At this point, I couldn’t even tell if I was bluffing or not. Jace’s face went from shock, to confusion, to realization as if he just remembered what happened outside.
“I-I don’t know.” He confessed. “It was like I was watching it happen but couldn’t stop. When I saw you with him, I felt like I was burning alive. The fire consumed me. Ana, I couldn’t stop it. I’m so sorry if I hurt you or Seb. I would never want to hurt you, Ana”
He pleaded with tears falling down his face. My anger deflated at the sight of him like this. I believed every word he said. The guilt quickly replaced my brewing anger. Slowly, I sat on the floor next to him.
“Jace, I know you’re in pain because of me, and for that, I am sorry.” I said as gently as I could.
“Why Ana?” He asked, turning to me with tears in his eyes “I love you so much. Why him? I messed up. I know, but I was a kid then, and I’ve been trying so hard to make it right to make you see you are the one for me.”
He placed his hands on my cheeks, and I stared into his hazel eyes, momentarily at a loss for words. His beautiful eyes used to be the highlight of my day two years ago. I remembered daydreaming about hearing Jace Thompson confess his undying love to me. I fantasized about our life together as a couple. Oh, how much I used to long for his touch or even just his acknowledgement then.
When did it all change?
As soon as the question formed in my mind, the response came with it. An image of Seb filled me: his beautiful smile and fierce protectiveness, his laugh and eyes that were light when he was happy and dark chestnut when he was mad, and even the new golden ones I loved so much when he transformed.
But as much as I loved Seb, I knew it wasn’t just falling in love with him that made me fall out of love with Jace. And as I stare at his handsome sad face, I knew it was time I told him exactly when I let him go. I could only hope he would understand and let me go as well.
Slowly, I pushed Jace’s hands away as I prepared to break his heart again. A tear slid down my face. This would be hard but he needs to hear this.
“I love you Jace which will never change, but I’m not in love with you like I used to be. As much as you think Seb caused that, he didn’t. In my last moments as a human, I knew death was coming for me, and guess who I thought of in those last seconds? You. Not my mom or Simon, but you. I spent so much time craving a boy that was dating my sister that I made myself miserable. My love for you made me weak. I realized I was living a life of pain for you when letting you go could have freed me. So, as I lay on that cold basement floor waiting for a death I couldn’t stop, I said goodbye to you. I said goodbye to you because I didn’t want to hold on to you anymore. I didn’t want to leave this world still wanting someone that never wanted me. My eyes closed on you Jace, and it opened on Seb. No matter what your reason is for what you did or rather didn’t do back then, it doesn’t matter now. It stopped mattering the second I opened my vampire eyes. I was given a new chance, and my heart found a new home. Seb was there for me Jace. He made me strong when I was weak, faster when I was slow. He loved me even when everything in him said he shouldn’t. Seb took the chance you didn’t, and while I’m sorry you’re hurting, I don’t regret loving and choosing him. I chose Seb and he chose me. Seb isn’t perfect, and he made his mistakes too, but one thing he never did was abandon me.”
I stopped there because my own tears were blurring my vision. I was hurting because I knew Jace was hurting too, but I was also happy because what I had with Seb was so beautiful and precious, and I was so thankful he was mine. I loved him so much. He was my soul.
“Ana, please…” Jace begged.
I gently wiped the tears from his face.
“Jace, you have to let me go. If you love me, please set me free. This, what your doing, is only going to hurt us both.” I explained firmly.
He shook his head. “I can’t. I won’t. You are meant for me. I will not give up now.” Jace declared.
I stared at him, realizing the Jace before me, was not the same boy I grew up with. The crazed desperate look in his eyes scared me to my core.
How could I reach him? How could I pull reason out of someone who was feeling so unreasonable?
I stood up, putting some much needed distance between us, but Jace jumped to his feet and grabbed my hands.
“Don’t leave me, Ana. When your close, the fire doesn’t burn inside me.” He choked. I didn’t know what to say or do. I wanted to help him, but I couldn’t save him from himself. I tried to pull free but he held on to me tighter.
Suddenly, I felt pressure in the room. Items around the bedroom lifted into the air and began circling us. Lamps, pillows, books, and even pictures from the walls all swirled around us like a tornado, and we were in the center of it.
Jace was causing this.
My eyes met his, and I nearly screamed. His eyes were hollow; empty. Outside, when I thought they were void of emotion, I was mistaken. His eyes were gone. Where they should have been was nothing but a deep endless darkness; completely different from the black eyes of an angry vampire, but at least they still had eyes.
“Jace?” I tried to find him somewhere inside the empty person before me.
No response. There was only a blank stare.
The pressure of his hand on my wrist increased, until I heard the bone in both of them snap.
***
Seb
Letting Ana go inside the house alone was not something I wanted to do, but Marie needed me more than my mate right now.
“So, Seb-ster, you know what they say. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in baby car-uh-seat or something like that.” Lily laughed.
I still didn’t understand her, but I was starting to like her off-the-wall humor.
Marriage and babies with Ana were something he hadn’t thought about yet, but I wasn’t opposed to idea in the future. However, he would think about all that after all this mess was sorted out.
“Let’s take a walk.” I said to my sister, pointedly eyeing Lily not to follow.
She stuck her tongue out at me but got the message.
I walked in silence down the road with my sister. I would wait for her to say what was bothering her. She kept stealing glances at me as if I would burst into a wolf at any second, but I wasn’t bothered by it. I knew my sister was scared, and I would comfort her when she was ready.
“How did it happen?” She asked, finally breaking the silence.
“I think I was born like this, but the wolf was trapped inside, hiding or sleeping, I don’t know, but it was always there. When I saw Ana dying, something inside me knew I needed my wolf to save her. So I let go of me to allow the wolf a
chance to takeover.” I explained as simply as he could.
Marie stopped walking, taking in my words.
“Did it hurt?” She questioned, a frown on her petite face.
“Yes but only the first time. Now, when I change, it’s just like stretching out the bones and muscles I don’t use regularly. It feels sort of good.”
Marie stared at me as if I wasn’t the same person. That caused an unpleasant ache in my chest. “Little sister, I am still me, not a wild animal. I have all the same thoughts and feelings as I did before. The only change is I can turn into a big wolf whenever I want. But even as a wolf, I can still understand and think clearly.”
Marie only continued to stare at me with an expression I couldn’t quite understand. There was something else she was worried about, but I didn’t know what it could be.
“Am I going to be like you?” She asked shyly, not meeting my eyes. So that was the thing that bothered her the most.
I gently lifted her chin.
“I don’t know. You smell like me, but it’s up to if you want to shift. It’s between you and your wolf. Whether you do or don’t doesn’t matter. I will always love and protect you, and if you choose to free your wolf, I will be there every step of the way. The same goes if you don’t.” I smiled.
A slow smile stretched Marie’s face, and she threw her arms around me, engulfing me in the hug I was waiting for.
“Thank you. I was so scared you’d be different or try to make me change, and I just don’t think I can do that Seb.” She cried on my shoulder, and I held her tighter.
“Sshh, don’t cry, it’s okay. I would never make you do anything you didn’t want to.” I promised
“I know. I’m glad you’re back and safe. I love you big head.” Marie teased and let me go.
“I love you too, cry baby.” I teased back.
Marie playfully shoved me.
“There is something else I wanted to tell you.” I burst out excitedly. I remembered the photo in my pocket I’d been holding on to. I wanted to share the news about our mother with my sister before I told Ana. It only seemed right.
As I reached into my pocket, a sudden pain in my wrist shocked me into stillness.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Marie worried as she saw the change in my demeanor.
I glanced at my wrist, expecting to see some bruise or something, but there was nothing there. I could still feel the pain, and it only took me a second to realize it wasn’t my own.
“Ana…” I whispered before charging back to Cora’s house.
***
Ana
I bit down hard on my bottom lip to keep from screaming as Jace broke both my wrists. The air whipping in the room grew louder, and all signs of Jace disappeared. I wanted to lash out. but I kept still. Jace was fighting something I didn’t understand, but I knew I had a part in it. The guilt of that kept me from fighting back. For now.
“Jace, please come back to me.” I coaxed. “Jace, I know you’re in there. Please.”
The items swirling around us slowed, and I could see a tiny light in the darkness of his eyes.
Good! It was working. I opened my mouth to say more, but I heard a distinctive growling behind me.
Seb was here.
The force Jace created picked back up times ten, sending Seb flying with the bed following behind him until he hit the doorway.
“SEB, STAY BACK!” I yelled. His presence was angering Jace, and I didn’t want a repeat of what happened only a little while ago. This time, I was with Jace, and I was going to try reasoning with him. Jace was still in there somewhere. I was sure of it.
“Jace, if you can hear m…” My words were cut off by one of his hands wrapping around my throat. The strength of his grip shocked me, and all coherent thoughts flew out the window. I began struggling against him. I couldn’t believe he was this strong. Jace was going to break my neck if I didn’t fight back.
I tried to focus my thoughts to call on my ability when suddenly, everything went still.
The lamps and books froze midair around us. I glanced at Jace, hoping he’d come to his senses, but he was still blankly staring as if he was frozen too. It was only when Helia stepped in front of Jace that I realized she was the one in control now. The crone grabbed her grandson’s face, yanking his mouth open, and poured a red liquid that smelled strangely like hydrangea.
Almost instantly, Jace’s hazel eyes popped back in his head, and he looked like himself again. Jace glanced around, slightly confused. When he got to me and saw his hand around my neck, he dropped it so fast, you would think my skin was a flame. The shame and guilt washed over his tortured expression. His eyes watered and my heart broke. Jace was mortified by his behavior. Seb stepped beside me, snarling. His ears were flat against his head, and I knew he was ready to attack Jace.
Jace barely glanced at Seb.
“I’m so sorry, Ana.” He whispered before turning, opening the window and jumping out.
“Jace!” I screamed, running to the window. I got there in time to see Jace running off in the back yard as fast as his legs would carry him.
“What’s happening to him?” I asked, turning to Helia.
She shook her head sadly. “I gave him a magic suppressant. His emotions are controlling his growing powers, and he’s losing himself in the madness. I’ll have to give him a daily dose until he gains control again.”
Helia turned to leave.
“That doesn’t explain it all? Is it me?” I questioned, my heart breaking.
“No, dear, this isn’t you. This is far worse than any of us are prepared for.”
Chapter 51
Decisions, Decisions
Cassius
“Yes. Catalina the snake has a mate and the best part is he’s a weak vulnerable human.”
I had never told anyone my sister’s biggest secret, but now I didn’t care. My mother was dead. My mate rejected me. The rage burning inside me was the only thing I could focus on. The world was not a fair place, and I would play my part in making those who crossed me suffer.
But I was smart. I knew how to keep my anger in check to accomplish what I set my sights on. Thanks to the information that Gwyn gave me, my sights were set on something even better now. I could barely contain my excitement to set my new plan in motion. First, I needed to clean up, do some research and pay a visit to my little ex-mate.
“Who is the boy? Where can I find him?” Gwyn asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I admired the cold vamp for changing so quickly and pursuing her revenge. It would work out for me even better if she could take care of hurting Catalina. It was one less thing I had to do. However, I had my own path to follow, and I didn’t have time to babysit her.
“Do some leg work. I gave you the information you need. Now, use that brain of yours and find the damn boy.” I snapped.
Gwyn huffed in annoyance.
“I gave you the exact address to find your mate. The least you can do is give me a name or something.” She pushed. Once again, Gwyn showed her determination, and I liked it.
“I haven’t followed up on it in years. By now, the boy is seventeen or eighteen years old, but I do remember the town where the park was: Bellfield. It’s a small town hours from here. You can start there.” I stated and turned to leave.
“That’s all? How the hell am I to find one boy in a town? I have no name or picture?!” Gwyn shouted, getting angrier by the second.
“You like running to witches so much, ask them for help.” I smirked.
Gwyn bared her fangs. I was unbothered. It may not be fair to withhold the name of the boy, but who cared about being fair. War was coming, and if Gwyn wanted to survive it, she would have to learn the hard way who to trust. I tipped my head and began walking away from her. I barely got five steps before she spoke again.
“I’m curious. Your mother had a vision of how you all would die. How did she say you would die, Prince?” I spat.
I paused. I remembered the day as a young vampire w
hen my mother told him that story. I remembered how beautiful she looked; how good she smelled, but I remembered nothing more than the fierce look in her eyes when she told me my fate.
“I don’t.”
***
Ana
Seb and I showered and changed into clean clothes Cora provided for us. The whole time, I couldn’t take my mind off what happened with Jace. Helia refused to say more even though it was clear she knew exactly what is going on. Guilt tore at me because I knew that my rejection played a part in Jace’s behavior.
Seb and I drifted down the stairs in silence where all my friends plus the three witches were gathered, quietly waiting on us. There were all of them but Jace who still hadn’t returned.
“I guess I’ll get started.” I spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
I turned to face Helia who was sitting in a rocking chair next to Cora and Zara on the loveseat. “I met the King and his children while I was at the castle. Ill begin with Ferox. He is extremely powerful and told me some disturbing things I need to verify with you. For one, he said Erebus was married to my mother. Is that true?”
Helia watched me carefully and slowly nodded a confirmation. There were a few gasps around the room.
“Don’t you think you should have told me that?” My voice came out more accusing than I wanted it to, but this was upsetting news.
“I told you what you needed to know at the time. Your mother had a long complex history.” She replied, folding her hands across her lap.
“What about my father, Theron? He was a witch that you failed to tell me anything about.” I continued. I wanted to know about my parents mainly because I would never get the chance to meet them, and because their past was now my present.
“Analise, dear, you are focusing on the wrong things at the moment. There will be time to learn of your parents’ history, but now, you should hear Cora’s latest vision.” Helia responded.
I turned my attention to Cora. The olive-toned witch closed her two different colored normal eyes and slowly opened the third one sitting in between her brows. Just like the last time, her milky blind eye moved rapidly as if it was seeing something.
Pure: A Paranormal Romance Page 56
