Stay close to Harrison, OK? There are many things about his life that only you can teach him. He needs you. And I know you are a very old spirit by now, but please—stay close to me. I need you, too, and I will look for you wherever I go.
Harrison, this is where she lives in me. Do you see her, too? Come closer. I want us to walk out of this field together, but first let’s wait one moment more.
Do you see the sky? Do you feel the cool air? It’s wonderful, isn’t it?
Are we ready?
Take my hands, guys.
OK, let’s go.
acknowledgments
Even in our darkest times, Stacy and I were held aloft by too many to count. It would be impossible to thank everyone by name, but every single act of kindness sent our way, no matter how small, sustained us.
Profound thanks to my agent, Anna Sproul-Latimer, for the ferocity of her belief and for the personal connection she forged with Greta through these pages. Thank you to Howard Yoon and Gail Ross for shaping the book in its earliest stages. Thank you to everyone at Knopf—especially my editor, Jordan Pavlin, who treated both me and this material with extraordinary sensitivity, kindness, and care. I am forever grateful.
My Pitchfork family cared for me and gave me purpose at a time of great need. Special thanks to Mark Richardson, Ryan Schreiber, and Chris Kaskie for allowing me space to grieve. For advice, encouragement, support, presence, and friendship, at Pitchfork and beyond: Stacey Anderson, Ryan Dombal, Corban Goble, Lindsay Hood, Jessica Hopper, Joe Keyes, Claire Lobenfeld, Kevin Lozano, Jill Mapes, Quinn Moreland, Puja Patel, Jenn Pelly, Amanda Petrusich, Amy Phillips, Matthew Schnipper, Brandon Stosuy, Lindsay Zoladz, and Charlotte Zoller.
Thank you to our Ditmas parent community, Greta’s friends and loved ones, who brought us hot food, sheltered us, cried with us, and never once flinched. Special thanks to Jenna and Brock, to Jeff and Sam, to Amanda and Aaron, to Jen and Lev. Thank you to everyone at Michelle St. Claire daycare, who Greta loved deeply. She flourished immeasurably in your care.
Thank you to the Upper West Side community for the love and support you provided Susan.
Thanks to Liz and Anna, sisters to us in all but name, for seeing us through the worst, for working tirelessly even in deep grief to honor Greta’s life. To Andrew and Andy, who supported them and us in turn. Thank you to Helane Anderson for the spiritual guidance.
Thank you to Danny and Elizabeth—our friends, our family, and our first responders forever. Thank you to Vicky Gold, for Greta’s beautiful hand-thrown urn; to Clara, for keeping Greta’s memory alive and for her devotion to Harrison; to Caitlin Hurd for our beautiful painting of Greta. To Chris and Randy, for offering us a home between homes.
To Nils Bernstein, who rallied hundreds for a fund to plant a tree in Prospect Park bearing Greta’s name, and to everyone who contributed. More than $19,000 was donated to the PICU at Weill-Cornell in Greta’s name, and we are grateful to everyone who made that possible. Special thanks to Ben and Giorgia for setting up a GoFundMe in our names and for everyone who gave.
Thanks to William LoTurco and Kate Mack, for encouraging me to go down this path in the first place, and to Nancy Rawlinson for her crucial feedback. Thanks to Maris Kreizman for believing in me early and always making time.
Thank you to David Kessler and team, for generosity of time and of spirit. Thank you to everyone at Golden Willow, and thank you to Tom Hart and Leela Corman, for the inspiration.
Thanks to all our yoga teachers—Martha, Mimi, Michelle, Liz, and everyone at Third Root.
Thank you to all fellow grieving parents who provided solace and inspiration. Special thanks to Jo and Bill and the memory of their beautiful son Jack.
Thank you to our family. To John, Melissa, Nik, and Ana; to my mother, who told me I should consider writing a book. To my father, who taught me what selfless devotion looks like. To Susan, Jack, and Lesley, who trusted me with their story and offered their unconditional love. To Diane, for her eagle-eyed proofreading.
But most and above all, thank you, Stacy. You watched over this book carefully and made sure it was true. This is your story, too, and I am honored that you trusted in me to tell it. Words can never do justice to the wife, mother, and partner that you are. With your innate wisdom, your emotional intelligence, and your capacity for empathy and love, you are my compass in the world, forever and always.
A Note About the Author
JAYSON GREENE is a contributing writer and former senior editor at Pitchfork. His writing has appeared in The New York Times, Vulture, and GQ, among other publications. This is his first book. He lives in Brooklyn with his wife and son.
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Once More We Saw Stars Page 20
