by Lynn Mann
Infinity walked, trotted and cantered, responding instantly to signals when I gave them to her. The wild herd shifted around as they watched and felt what we did, unsure of being around such strangeness but unable to tear themselves away. Holly and Serene joined us. There was more shuffling around and jostling for position in the wild herd as they took in the additional horse and rider. One by one, Sonja and Bright, Rowena and Oak, and then Marvel and Broad joined us, keeping Serene and Infinity between them and the herd in order to help the stallion to remain relaxed in the presence of our stallions. Once we felt that the mature horses of the herd understood what they would need to do, we separated and came to a halt. We unharnessed our horses, who left us to go and wait with the rest of our group.
All five of us were available to help any of the horses who wished it. The choice was up to them.
The lead mare of the wild herd edged past the stallion. She would go first. She was strong, decisive and accustomed to being in charge. She needed help from someone who was experienced and confident enough that the mare wouldn’t feel the need to take charge, whilst being sensitive enough to her high ranking within the herd that the mare need not give up who she was in order to take instruction. She was so like Infinity that it was no surprise when she chose me.
She circled around me and approached from the side, every now and then stopping to sniff my scent from the air and moving her head to adjust her view of me before coming closer. I held the back of my hand out for her to sniff, which she eventually did. I held firm to my intention to give her the help that she wanted from me. I felt her eagerness fast overtaking her wariness. She dropped her head down to sniff Infinity’s saddle at my feet. She wouldn’t be wearing that. She was not bonded. My heart tried to plummet but I caught it and centred myself. Despite my lack of prowess as a bareback rider to date, this would be the day that I would master it. Everything happens as it should. I hadn’t been riding Infinity with her bridle on, so that was one less piece of harness to move to one side, as I knew the mare wouldn’t have countenanced wearing that either.
The black mare let me know that she was ready for me to mount. I climbed onto a pile of boulders nearby and in my mind pictured putting a leg across the mare’s back from there. The mare obligingly moved alongside. I felt Rowena’s total confidence that I would be able to ride a wild horse without harness and I shot a quick grin at her. Marvel’s confidence quickly made itself known, followed by Holly’s and Sonja’s. I was Aware of Vickery’s shock at what I was about to do and also that Aleks’s mental torment had abated slightly as he watched in disbelief.
Complete confidence. I knew that I was strong and capable. I knew that although carrying a rider would be a foreign sensation to the mare, she would feel as if I’d always been there. I put my leg across her back and lowered myself into a sitting position. The mare stiffened beneath me and then relaxed.
I rode her exactly as if she were Infinity. She remembered all of the signals she had felt me use when I rode my own mare and she responded to them only a fraction slower than Infinity did. I loved her fierce intelligence and her willingness to focus all of herself on what we were doing. I could feel how readily she would have questioned the instructions my body gave to hers had I been even a fraction less sure of myself, but as it was, her quick responses and eagerness to change ensured that we made rapid progress. Within the first hour, she was moving as well with my weight as she had without. After a further hour and a half, she was responding to my signals as quickly as Infinity would have and we were nearly there. She was now able to move straight, since I had corrected her tendency to hold her body on a slight right bend. She could lift from my lower leg and engage her hindquarters more and my thighs were burning from holding her back every time she was on the verge of losing her balance forwards with no bridle to support her. My back muscles were tired, but I knew we could do it. Just a little more engagement of her hindquarters and she would be there. I nudged her with absolute knowledge that this would be the final adjustment she would need to make. She was tired and sore from all the changes she had made but she responded instantly... and she was there. Each and every part of her body slotted into an alignment that allowed her to move with maximum power and grace. Her ecstasy rang out into the ether.
Her stallion whickered to her but she was too caught up in her achievement to notice. I nudged her to a trot and then to a canter, easily helping her to maintain her balance. I felt the negative memories within her begin to swirl around as their refuges in places of previous imbalance disappeared. I almost braced myself for what must come, but then relaxed. Everything happens as it should. The mare slowed gracefully to a halt. She needed me no longer. I slid off immediately and stepped back just as she began to scream.
They all lived it. They were one. The whole herd, including the foals, shed the lead mare’s negative memories with her. They galloped and bucked and shied and spun and when they all came to a stop, the whole herd felt lighter.
The stallion stepped forward, his white neck arched and sweaty and his sides heaving. He also had no intention of wearing harness. He required a rider who, if they had incarnated as a horse, could have challenged him for his herd. He needed a rider with a strength of character he could respect but with a softness that would stop him short of wanting to fight. My friends and I all looked to Rowena even before he had taken his first step towards her. I made my confidence in her my primary thought and felt Sonja, Holly and Marvel do the same. I felt a wave of love for her as I felt her confidence in herself mirror ours.
Since his lead mare had opened the way and made it clear for the rest of her herd, the stallion was primed for the feel of Rowena’s weight on his back and for what would follow. Rowena rode superbly. I could have cried with pride in my friend as I watched her sit the proud, powerful stallion with relaxed self-assurance, her timing perfect whether she was asking him to follow her instruction or whether she was responding to his need for her body to support his while he adjusted his balance. Both her concentration and his were absolute. They knew where they were headed and after only an hour or so, they arrived there. The stallion sat down on his hind legs and lifted his front legs in the air, striking out as he bellowed his newfound power. Rowena leant forward, clasping him with her arms and legs and grinning from ear to ear. Once he had allowed her to slide to the ground, he took off by himself, exploring all that his body could now do. His herd stood watching until his memories, bereft of anywhere to hide, came to the surface for release and then once again, the herd discharged the negative energy as one.
The two colts who were nearing maturity stepped away from the herd. They knew they would be leaving the herd soon as neither was strong enough to challenge the stallion. They would do this before they left. The one who would likely have the strength and presence to have his own herd one day approached Marvel and the one who would always be a follower, whether of a bachelor herd or of a herd whose stallion would tolerate the presence of an unthreatening male, approached Sonja. I could feel the ease with which both colts accepted their riders and their willingness to follow the path that their sire and lead mare had cleared before them. With the help of their riders, they followed the path with ease and in no time at all had reached their destination. As the herd released everything that had previously held the colts back from the total power that was now theirs, I could feel the collective consciousness of the herd changing. It was not only lighter, it held within it the impression of perfect balance.
The next to step forward was a tall brown mare with a brown and white filly foal at foot, who was near to weaning. We all knew she would approach Holly, and I began wondering if the horses had selected us in turn on purpose, before I remembered with a grin mirrored by Rowena as she wondered the same, that everything happens as it should.
What happened next was a beautiful sight to behold. Holly was as gentle and sympathetic as she was focused and determined, and it was as if the mare were just waiting for her signals before she leapt to res
pond, immediately and accurately, as did her foal who emulated every step beside her. The collective consciousness of the horses was made visible. When the mare achieved perfect balance, the foal absorbed the pattern for it from her mother. As she matured, her body would follow the pattern that had settled within it and she would never experience anything less than absolute strength and elegance.
The effect on all of us was profound, both those of us who were Aware and those who were not; Aleks’s sobbing rang out across the plains despite Vickery’s efforts to quieten him. I smiled with relief, Aware that the sight of the foal achieving what she had, had reached Aleks in a way that none of us had been able. He was deeply moved to the extent that Nexus was able to get through to him and explain exactly what it was that he had just witnessed.
Sonja, Holly, Marvel, Rowena and I spent the rest of the day riding our way through all of the herd who were mature and strong enough to carry a rider, each of them following the pathway made wider and clearer by those who had gone before them and achieving their objective increasingly quickly as a result. Those who weren’t yet strong enough worked alongside their mothers, from young foals like the first one, to the older colts and fillies.
Aleks and Vickery brought us water and mouthfuls of food to eat in between rides, massaged our tired, aching muscles and kept up a constant stream of encouragement, Aleks almost manically so. Whenever a mare with a foal at foot was ridden, he watched from as close as possible, the delight on his face a joy to see after the dark terror that had been gripping him so relentlessly.
We were all exhausted by the time we had made our way through the whole herd. The wild horses were physically tired, but energised by what they had achieved. They cantered around us, joyfully, powerfully, gracefully and so light on their feet that the sound of their hooves on the ground belied their number. They were a magical sight to behold as the black mare lead them back in the direction from which they had come. They offered no gratitude and none was necessary. Everything happens as it should. I lowered myself down to the ground with a groan.
‘I won’t lie, what you lot just did was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen and I’m in awe of you all,’ said Vickery, ‘but if any more of you sit down, I’ll flick you with horse dung. Sonja, don’t think I won’t do it, stay on those two feet of yours. I know you’re tired, but we need to get back to camp so Aleks and I can feed you all and that means we need to saddle the horses and get going. Marvel, there’s a pile right here with your name on it unless you get moving right now. Aleks, saddle as many as you can and I’ll do the same, and we’ll get these weary heroes on board. Move this way everyone, you too Am.’ She extended a hand and pulled me to my feet.
‘Thanks Vic, I can’t remember ever having been this tired,’ I said.
‘I’m sorry I haven’t got my act together enough to be in a position where I could have helped you all,’ Vickery said.
‘Well if you had, we’d be having to rely on Aleks to cajole us home now,’ I said. ‘We need you exactly as you are, Vic, you’ve been brilliant today.’
‘Something happened to Aleks today, didn’t it? He’s calm and almost his old self,’ Vickery said.
I nodded and explained what had happened, as we followed the others to where our horses grazed. ‘It’s a relief that Nexus has finally been able to reach him again.’
‘That’s not the only thing that Nexus has been able to do, by the look of it,’ said Vickery.
We stopped in our tracks to watch Nexus sitting her weight onto her hind legs as they propelled her upwards and forward in an immensely powerful but totally controlled, elegant trot around an open-mouthed Aleks, who stood holding her saddle and bridle. She moved with an effortlessness that could only mean one thing.
‘Aleks got her to a place where she was so close to achieving perfect balance before he had his breakdown, that she had only the smallest of adjustments to make to achieve it, and the collective consciousness of the wild herd carried her along with it to make them! It’s just as Infinity said it would be!’ I said.
I made my tired legs run alongside Vickery to where my friends all embraced Aleks, who stood, still holding Nexus’s harness, with tears making flesh-coloured tracks down his grimy face. ‘She’s done it,’ he was saying over and over. ‘She’s done it.’
Marvel clapped a hand on his shoulder. ‘She has. And now, mate, it’s all up to you.’
Fifteen
Perfection
I was glad that Infinity only needed me to keep my own balance in order for her to maintain hers whilst she carried me over the flat, unchanging plains, as I had neither the energy nor strength to be able to offer her anything more. My exhaustion, however, and that of my friends who had ridden alongside me that day, was lifted by the happy chatter of Aleks and Vickery as we made our way back to camp.
Aleks was walking alongside Nexus, refusing to ride her lest he disrupt her body’s newfound balance. He kept up an almost constant narrative about everything he had belatedly picked up from her; how she had been walking from one patch of grazing to another when she had felt herself lifted by the experiences of the wild herd nearby and how she had then suddenly felt herself wanting and able to move in a different way. She had proceeded to release the few negative memories lodged within her with so little problem that even Aleks had been unaware that she was doing it, caught up as he was in his delight at the antics of the foals. Aleks was proud of Nexus and delighted for her, but ashamed that he had neither helped her to achieve what she had so desperately sought, nor been there for her when she released the negative energy that she had been carrying. He was excited, though, as he felt his horse revelling in her achievement, and his excitement was infectious.
Vickery walked, trotted and cantered a very bouncy, happy Verve around us as he and she delighted in the improved way of going that he had found as a result of also being carried further along the path to perfection by the achievements of the wild horse herd. She compared notes with Aleks and every now and then stopped to ride next to the rest of us, thanking us over and over for what we had done that day. When she wondered out loud how many other horses would have made as much change as Nexus and Verve, it dawned on my tired mind to wonder the same thing.
Why wonder when you can know for yourself, or even just find out the easy way by asking? Justin’s thoughts were for all of us. I heard Marvel chuckle.
Okay wise one, what’s happened? I asked Justin.
Quinta burst into my mind not ten minutes ago with the news that our top four students’ horses all achieved perfect balance this afternoon, and their riders were so moved by what they felt from their horses that they threw all caution to the wind, blasted past whatever had been blocking them from getting there, and achieved it too! And that was just as a result of you lot helping one herd!
And there are more coming to find us, I knew all of a sudden as I sensed more horses turning their attention to our group.
My friends who were Aware of Justin’s and my conversation looked around at me and then they and Justin read the information they needed from my mind.
Marvel related Justin’s news to Aleks and Vickery, finishing with, ‘and there are more herds heading our way. They know what happened today and they’re on their way to find us.’
I hope I can get there in time to help with some of them, Justin’s thoughts reverberated with his excitement, two weeks and I’ll have caught up with you.
Two weeks? There’s no way you’ll get here that quickly, we’ve been travelling for months, I argued.
And you’ve made detours to visit your family and all the villages you’ve stopped to help at along your way, you’ve delayed to spend time with Fitt, you camped for weeks in order to help Flame and unless a lot has changed since I last saw you all, there will have been even more time wasted chatting, eating and in Marvel’s case, snoring.
‘Oi!’ Marvel said out loud.
Gas and I stop long enough for him to graze his fill while I grab a bite and have a sno
oze and then we’re off, continued Justin, and we’re moving at Gas’s pace, not the leisurely amble that you will have been enjoying. Two weeks, tops.
‘I’ll give him leisurely amble,’ grumbled Rowena as she rubbed her back. ‘We wouldn’t have been fit enough to do what we did today if that was all we’d been doing.’
We all felt Justin’s satisfaction that his teasing had hit home, before Quinta came blasting excitedly into our minds with the same news that Justin had already told us. When she demanded to know what we’d all been up to in order for the phenomenon at The Gathering to have occurred, we were grateful that we could merely leave her to find the answers she needed from us, rather than having to find the energy to relate it all.
We arrived back at camp to find that the fire, which we had left banked and smouldering, had gone out. Marvel groaned and set about relighting it whilst Rowena saw to Broad alongside Oak. Vickery tended to Verve and then set about preparing dinner and Aleks quickly unharnessed Nexus and then helped the rest of us to see to our own horses. As he rubbed Infinity down, I leant against her, tiredly, and stroked her neck. She turned and nuzzled my hand, enfolding me in her energy as she had done so many times before. We were Infinity. We were happy and proud of what we had done today.
We remembered back to the out-of-body experience we had shared the previous year and we remembered the satisfaction we had felt at having accomplished what we had set out to do in this lifetime. And now, we were doing more, all the while becoming so closely interwoven that it was impossible to imagine ever being able to separate out which bits of our essence were me and which were her, in order to be able to incarnate into future bodies and lives.
That situation will not arise. This will be the last time we will enter the dream, Infinity informed me.
