by Lynn Mann
One of the other Elders opened his mouth to speak and another began to send thoughts to the younglings, but both stopped in surprise as Mother Elder streamed a flow of light towards them. If I’d been in my body, I would have jumped for joy. As it was, I directed my own flow to her alone for a few seconds, giving her as much of my love as I could.
‘We could kill the horses and leave the humans and Lacejoy unharmed,’ one youngling rasped, looking around at his companions for their reactions.
That is a decision you could make, Evansson, Mother Elder agreed, and I ask you all to forgive me that in my fear, I encouraged you to make it only a short time ago. But I would remind you that it is not our way to hunt horses who have chosen to bond with humans. We have been Aware of the many times that humans have wanted to rise up against us, to hunt us down and remove us from existence. Always, they have refrained as a result of counsel given by the Horse-Bonded, at the urging of their horses. These horses have given their lives to their humans to ensure that they do not return to the ways of The Old and they are to be respected, not seen as prey by our kind. Those younglings who choose to hunt bonded horses during their Findself are those whose only way of making decisions is to entirely forget who we are and it is the beginning of their end.
The younglings looked around at one another and from one Elder to the next. The Elders remained silent both in voice and mind, fascinated now by what Mother Elder was attempting.
As the younglings pondered and my friends and I continued to send them our light, I allowed my attention to rest with Infinity. She observed the scene with vague interest. It mattered not at all to her whether she and I returned to our bodies or not, just as it hadn’t the last time she and I had left them. I wondered what I’d do if the younglings decided to kill her body but call me back to mine. As my thought became all of ours, my friends and I pondered it together. It didn’t matter, not in truth, we all knew that. We were all one regardless of who was in a physical body and who wasn’t. But would we humans want to live the lives we had grown used to living, without our Bond-Partners? Maybe the Kindred would use it as the ultimate test for us, to see if we would still choose to love them if they killed our horses. We felt our horses’ pride in us as we realised that we would still choose love. Even in the face of the toughest question, we hadn’t forgotten everything that they had taught us, everything that they had helped us to know. Whatever happened, we would return to our bodies if the Kindred called us, and we would give them all the love and help that they needed.
The younglings and the Elders all felt our decision. Within seconds, the first youngling accepted our love. He allowed himself to know all of us. He asked for our help. Within a single instant, Lacejoy transferred all the memories she had drawn from the collective consciousness to him along with her forgiveness of them. He absorbed everything and welcomed it as part of him, and then stood up tall. What had taken us all night to go through with her had taken the youngling less time than a single breath.
We see how they do that now, my friends and I thought as one. If they call us back to our bodies, we will remember.
Lacejoy’s jubilation that her fellow Kindred had joined her in standing tall became everything to all of us, to the extent that one by one, our horses had to intervene to separate us back out from one another.
The youngling sent us his love. It called to us, beckoning us back to the bodies that lay in front of him. Bodies that may not be viable if the other younglings succumbed to their bloodlust, he realised. He redirected his love towards his brethren and to a one, they started and then gasped as they turned to him and saw that, no longer hunched, he towered over them.
They scrutinized him in their Awareness and one by one, realised the decision that he had made and its consequence. Immediately, a female youngling followed his example. She allowed us to show her all that she needed to know. A few breaths later, she stood almost as tall as her brother. She sent us her love and gratitude and then turned all of her energy towards the other younglings, another three of whom soon followed in her footsteps.
One by one, the younglings chose to heal. Their experiences accumulated in the collective consciousness of the Kindred, making it increasingly easier for their brethren to make the same choice. Soon, only five remained who were yet intent on killing. These five were younglings who would, if they had had a chance to go on their Findself, have foregone all that the Kindred were and it would have killed them. The only way they would have been able to leave behind their tendency to obey rather than decide would have been to leave behind everything of their upbringing, leaving them lost, unstable and violent. Like those who had made similar choices before them, they would have felt unable to return to their communities at the end of their Findself, knowing that the way of life they had chosen for themselves would not be accepted. They would have been content with their solitary lives, for a time. But then a sense of emptiness would have stolen over them and taken root. They wouldn’t have felt much like hunting anymore, or indeed like doing anything. They would have been relieved when the time came to leave their bodies, and then disappointed with themselves once they returned to the oneness and realised that they could have been so much more, had they made different choices.
They could make those choices this time around, Lacejoy infused them with her confidence. All of their brethren bombarded them with light, also confident that the five could make the choice to join them and to stand tall. The five became Aware that not only were my friends and I willing to leave our bodies for them, but that their kin were willing to let them kill us, rather than force them to obey. The love they felt for their brethren in that instant was all it took. They turned away from our bodies and allowed their kin to crowd around them, congratulating them on their decision. We felt them embrace who they were with help from their friends, and, finally, embrace us. When the five of them stood tall, all of the younglings focused on the humans and horses who yet supported them, and called for us to return.
Adam and Peace peeled themselves away from the rest of us, pleased to have played their part. Aleks held to them briefly to ensure they knew of his gratitude and then they were suddenly somewhere distant. My friends and I let them go, knowing that they had done what they could to make it easier for us to return to our bodies. As one, we were hesitant. Much as we could be Aware of one another’s thoughts and feelings when in our bodies, here, we felt everything as one. We rejoiced as one. We pondered as one. We decided as one. It wasn’t possible to be any other way and we felt the bliss of it as one. We should return. We would return. And yet, we lingered.
Infinity made her presence known as a purposefully discreet entity as she wove herself around me and directed me to the cord that connected me to my body. It pulsed very faintly now. It was time. I imagined following the cord back to my body and instantly, I was there.
My throat was dry and my breathing shallow. My eyes felt crusty as I opened them to see that a fire burned nearby. I breathed in deeply a few times and felt my breathing reset itself to a healthier depth and rhythm. I sat up, coughing, thirsty and ravenous. Infinity was a short distance away, sitting up and then heaving herself to her feet and taking a long draught of water from a bucket that had been placed close by. She had lost weight.
‘Your horse yet looks after you. Any longer and return would have been impossible. Drink this.’ Mother Elder held a wooden beaker of water in front of me.
‘But we weren’t gone that long, the younglings called us back after only an hour or so, surely?’
‘They called you back and you were coming, but then you didn’t. That was three weeks ago. A lot has happened while we’ve been waiting for you to return.’
‘Three weeks...’ My voice was almost as raspy as Mother Elder’s and I had a bout of coughing, during which I remembered that time passed differently in the greyness. ‘I’m so sorry. We took our attention away from here for what seemed like only a few minutes. I need to stand up.’
‘You are weak. Let m
e support you.’ Mother Elder put a hand under each of my elbows and easily drew me to my feet, steadying me on my trembling legs once I was standing.
As I turned to thank her, I saw that she stood tall. ‘You’ve done it!’ I said. ‘How many of the others?’
‘All of them.’
‘ALL OF THEM?’ I was unable to prevent my shock and delight from making me shout, and subsequently set myself off on another bout of coughing.
All of them. Forgive me, I will use mindspeak, as my voice has become more and more difficult to use comfortably in recent years. The Elders followed the younglings’ example and forgave our past. They returned to their communities to share their experience and as more and more of the Kindred chose to forgive, it became easier for more to do the same. And now we all know the details of our history and we have all forgiven all of it. We all stand tall, thanks to you, your horses and Lacejoy. She is still a youngling in age but she has unanimously been raised to Elder in her absence. And now, I see that she too has returned. I am much relieved.
I saw Fitt sitting up next to where Flame was lurching to her feet. She was immediately offered water by another Kindred. The rest of our friends were either sitting or being helped to their feet at other campfires dotted throughout the clearing.
We knew you would want to be with your horses if you ever woke up and we didn’t like to move them, so we have kept you all safe and warm out here. Your human bodies don’t retain heat as well as your horses’ bodies though, so we had to move the humans close to the fires, Mother Elder told me, apologetically.
Thank you. As I conveyed my appreciation to Mother Elder for the Kindreds’ thoughtfulness, I felt her embrace the touch of my mind upon hers. She wanted me to know everything about her and about the Kindred. Her eyes widened slightly in the firelight as she sensed that, as a result of being completely at one with Lacejoy in the greyness, my mind could now accept how the Kindred transferred so much information so quickly. It had merely been a case of stepping aside from the need to have thoughts in a linear form, allowing even the concept of linearity to melt into nothing, just as when accepting the non-linear nature of time. Mother Elder transferred everything to me and within seconds, I knew.
I knew that in a conscious attempt to honour the only members of The Old who had resisted the regime – a criminal underground of women who had called themselves the Kindred – the present Kindred named both their species after them, and themselves down the female line. The Kindred of The Old had helped those who would become the founding fathers of The New to escape, incited protests whenever new controlling measures were introduced, including the creation of the Enforcers, and had tried to befriend Enforcers whenever they came across them. And in return, the Enforcers had been compelled by their controllers to kill the only humans who had seen them for who they really were and tried to help.
Mother Elder’s family originated with a female who had taken the surname of a woman called Hob, so she was Hobday, and her cousin was Hobson. Her mother was Hobtidy and her aunt was Hoblove but her father was Dayknow, since all of his mother’s line were Days.
I knew that Mother Elder had no mate and no children. I also knew that the Kindred were neither very fecund nor as long-lived as humans, so their communities remained small. Younglings were treasured and yet were encouraged to go on their Findself, even with the knowledge that some would never return; the Kindred knew that it was essential to the survival of their species that their inbred instinct to look to others for instruction rather than to think for themselves, be constantly, vigilantly, overcome. Until now. Now that they had forgiven their past and cleared all holds it had had over them, their understanding of everything they could sense within their Awareness was finally unencumbered. They were free.
I was vaguely Aware that Mother Elder was lowering me back to the ground and covering me with a blanket, but she did not try to disturb me as I sifted through all that I now knew.
I knew that the Kindred lived in discreet communities, which travelled between homesteads in different seasons and different years, to allow plants and prey to recover and support their hunter-gatherer way of living. They moved up close to the mountains – just below which we were now – in the hotter months, since their tough skin prevented efficient heat loss. As the weather got colder, they moved to homesteads further south, nearer to human villages. They were always careful to avoid humans, both their villages and anywhere they were likely to travel. Every now and then, younglings on their Findself would encounter humans and usually, little came of the encounter. Occasionally though, as when Infinity and I had been hunted, the youngling made a decision that involved relinquishing the morals and integrity of the Kindred, to his or her eventual cost. I searched my Awareness for the youngling who had left an imprint on my mind as a result of hunting Infinity and me, and found that she was indeed now a discarnate soul. I sent her my love and hope that in her next incarnation, she would fare better.
I realised fully how desperate the Kindred who attacked The Gathering must have been to kill not only bonded horses but, inadvertently, humans. My heart went out to those who had been involved as I found them in my Awareness and let them know that the sorrow they yet carried was groundless. Without their desperate attempt to feed their families as they starved in that unforgiving, relentless winter, none of us would be where we were now. Everything had happened as it should. I felt their gratitude for my thoughts and also for what had been achieved over the last few weeks. A warm feeling stole over me and Infinity and I enjoyed the feeling of a circle closing.
Infinity and the other horses grazed from the surrounding branches now as they made their way to a patch of grass that they could smell in a nearby clearing. I almost felt bad for them that we had kept them from their bodies for so long – it was only due to their intervention that we had all made it back to our bodies at all – but then I found that I just didn’t seem to have it in me. Everything was as it should be. Infinity’s approval was mine and mine was hers. We didn’t think thoughts to one another much anymore, I realised. There would be as little point as if I talked to myself. We were one. We returned to what we knew.
The Kindred had long been adept at healing with herbs. Being Aware, they had known of the Skills since the time that humans first remembered them, but until recently, they hadn’t been able to perform them due to their limited vocal range. Their frustration at their inability to sing had disappeared in an instant once I had shared with Mother Elder my newfound ability to heal from a distance. She had instantly made the knowledge available to all and the Kindred were all now practising multiskilling in silence and wondering at the uses to which they could put their new Skills.
I decided that farming was an option for them now that tree-singing and earth-singing could provide the means to grow and harvest. Like Lacejoy, the Kindred tended to frown upon weather-singing as an indulgence of the few at the potential cost of many and whilst I could see their point, I felt that if we could persuade them to use it in moderation, as we did, their future farming efforts would be greatly aided. As would they be if the Kindred could tolerate going back to the vicinities of the cities of The Old – they could harvest metal in the same way as did our Pedlars, and then use metal-singing to make their own tools. There was so much we could teach them, so much with which we could help them.
I felt Mother Elder’s amusement as my thoughts tried to run away with me, and I refocused on my information sifting.
I knew that the Kindred were Aware to varying degrees from birth, as a result of their animal heritage. Many younglings had no concept of being anything other than Aware of the thoughts and feelings of others, and mindspeak was so easy for them that they had to be strongly encouraged to use their voices at all. Others were born with a lesser ability to mindspeak and able to sense only the most pressing thoughts of those in their immediate vicinity. Often their abilities grew as they matured, but these Kindred tended to prefer to talk out loud, even as they aged and their voices grew more
strained. Some Kindred were born with very little Awareness at all – throwbacks to their human heritage, I realised. These never developed the ability to mindspeak or to know what their peers instinctively knew about one another, without help from an Elder. My interest peaked as I realised that the Kindred had a way to open them up to their Awareness and then a surge of excitement shot through me as I realised that I knew how they did it.
If a Kindred youngling hadn’t shown any signs of being Aware by the time they were five years old, the parents would request help from their Elder, knowing that the help would need to come from someone familiar, but not close to the youngling – someone who could be dispassionate about the outcome of the proceedings and so not apply any kind of mental pressure, yet someone from whom the youngling would not shy away. The Elder would reveal her essence to the youngling, in the same way that our horses had done for us when we bonded. The Kindreds’ animal ability to resonate and connect with others, particularly with those of the same human descent as themselves, made them a potent force when it came to transferring a sense of themselves, as my friends and I had all discovered when we knew things about the Kindred we had met even before we were Aware. Once the youngling’s mind accepted the Elder’s essence, the Elder would lead it to experience Awareness of other essences and then the youngling couldn’t help but awaken to their connection to All That Is. As with the Kindred whose Awareness had awakened naturally, some of those awakened by Elders found that their abilities strengthened as they matured and some found that they would always be secondary to the five physical senses, but all of the Kindred were Aware to some extent.
This was how the Kindred could help my fellow humans. Where the horses had managed to alter their thought patterns enough to reach some of us with their minds, the Kindred’s thought patterns resonated easily with ours and so they would be able to reach everyone. They did it instinctively, it was a part of who they were. They could awaken humans to their oneness with All That Is in the same way that they did with some of their younglings, and once humans were Aware, they could never return to the ways of The Old. They would know the Kindred for who they were and they would welcome them to be part of our way of life. They would help them to live an easier life, one where they would never face starvation again.
