by Lynn Mann
‘It’s just so satisfying seeing you all on the receiving end of your own jokes,’ Rowena said one evening as we relaxed around our own campfire in the clearing while our horses rested nearby.
‘We should show the younglings how to be bossy next, and see how funny you think that is,’ said Marvel.
‘I’m looking forward to letting them loose on my brothers,’ I said.
‘It’s just good to see them all laughing,’ said Fitt. ‘And it’s not just the younglings now, my mother saw Harrisbud ignite a fire just as Aleks was about to step over it, and she laughed so much that she actually cried.’
‘We just need to hear them all laughing now,’ said Holly. ‘It’s time to use tissue-singing as it’s never been used before, and get their voices back.’
We’d been mulling over how best to go about using tissue-singing to remove the thickened skin of the Kindred, and had decided that to begin with, we’d work together, as we’d done when we healed Flame. Holly would be the lead Healer and the rest of us would lend our strength whilst observing and making any suggestions should they occur to us. It would be a dangerous procedure the first few times, whilst we judged how much skin we could safely cause to break up and disperse without causing the body problems.
‘We haven’t decided how to go about asking for our first volunteer,’ said Marvel.
‘No need, it’ll be me,’ said Fitt. ‘I’m the perfect choice. We’re all closer than it’s possible for anyone else to be and since I trust you all implicitly, I have absolutely no reservations. My body will follow your suggestions instantly, just as if you were healing yourselves. And while the horses will support you all and your volunteer while you attempt this anyway, one of those horses is mine. I will be able to make more use of her support than any other volunteer could.’
‘Your skin thickening isn’t enough to inhibit you much, but it is there,’ said Holly thoughtfully. ‘And if we worked on your throat, maybe we could help your voice to be a bit stronger.’
We all nodded. Fitt was right, she was the obvious choice. Flame appeared just behind where Fitt sat and nuzzled her shoulder. We felt her energy weave its way into Fitt’s body, bolstering their sense of themselves as one immensely strong, determined being.
‘Right now?’ Rowena said.
Sonja chuckled. ‘This is Fitt and Flame we’re talking about. How could it be at any other time?’
As we felt our horses steady us all, Holly tuned into the tissues in Fitt’s throat, taking us with her. We felt our way around and found that, due to the animal genes she carried, Fitt’s throat structure differed markedly from our human throats. And that was okay. Her body had followed its genetic blueprint and it was content to be that way. Her voice would always be limited in its range, but she would always have a voice if we could take away the layers of skin that were already beginning to accumulate where there was no need for them to be.
Fitt’s fascination almost distracted us, but Flame pulled her attention away slightly. The rest of the horses steadied us while we refocused. Holly took us to the uppermost layer of new internal skin. Being the newest layer, it had a different vibration from those underneath it and Holly immediately resonated with it with all of herself and with all of us. There was no need for singing out loud. We strengthened her intention for it to separate from the layers beneath and break apart and we observed as the layer of skin, one cell thick, duly dispersed.
Holly pulled us back and we waited while the waste products of our healing dispersed. It worked! We were jubilant – as long as we didn’t take off too much skin in one go and cause a build-up of waste, clearing the Kindred’s throats would be easy. As would clearing the skin that was building up internally elsewhere in their bodies, we realised. The fact that the different layers of skin vibrated differently according to their age, meant that we could easily isolate them and disperse them as they formed, and the waste would be taken away with the fluid that bathed all cells, just like any other waste. And the Kindred would learn to perform the healing on themselves. Fitt had been correct that it would be too late to reverse all of the thickening that the older Kindred had undergone – once the skin layers were old and compacted, separating them would be impossible and they would end up being broken up in chunks too large for the body to deal with – but this healing would at least halt the process so that any Kindred alive now needn’t die as a result of accumulating more skin.
We were Aware of Fitt’s desire for more skin to be cleared from her throat and now she wanted to do it herself. Holly took her with us as we tuned into the next layer of skin to be removed. We resonated with it with all of ourselves and then all of us except Fitt and Holly withdrew. Fitt matched Holly’s intention for the skin layer to disperse and then when it did, Holly withdrew, leaving Fitt to judge when to disperse the next layer. Flame was there with Fitt at every stage and we were intimately Aware of her pride in her Bond-Partner as Fitt systematically healed her own throat.
When she had taken her throat back to its blueprint for health, we all withdrew. Fitt, however, wasn’t finished. She moved on to other areas of her body where she could feel that thickening had begun. Flame continued to stand over her, supporting her in her quest to be rid of that which, if left, would shorten her life.
‘Should we help?’ Aleks whispered.
‘I don’t think so,’ said Holly. ‘We might hold her back. None of us can match the determination that defines Fitt and Flame once they’re on one of their missions, so they’re probably best left to it.’
We all knew that she was right. My heart felt like it would burst with affection for the tall, chestnut mare who was so dear to me, and her Bond-Partner. Flame would support Fitt while she healed her body and then Fitt would transfer the knowledge of how to do it to the rest of the Kindred. She would show them what she had done to her own body and then they would use her knowledge and confidence to know what to do with their own.
Perfect, I thought.
I realised, vaguely, that there had been a time when I hadn’t been able to see the perfection in everything. I couldn’t seem to remember when that was. I frowned.
You are too far removed from the person you were to be able to identify with her memories. Many will be lost to you now that they are not needed, observed Infinity.
As we no longer need any of this, I mused.
No longer need. Chose, Infinity reminded me.
I snapped back to myself and saw that Justin was looking at me, knowingly. He winked and grinned and I remembered that being here was okay.
‘It’s more than okay, it’s wonderful!’ said a voice that I didn’t recognise.
Fitt was grinning from ear to ear as she looked between us in the firelight, her fangs looking almost out of place as they never had before. Flame breathed in and out deeply, with a sense of satisfaction, and then wandered off.
‘Fitt, your voice is so much stronger!’ Holly said. ‘And a bit smoother, how does your throat feel?’
‘A bit tender, but now I remember that it feels just like it used to when I was little,’ said Fitt. ‘I hadn’t realised how much it had changed, it happened so gradually, but I can talk without straining and look how much more I can move my head! And I’ve removed the thickening from around my hips and knees, look how much longer I can stretch my legs!’
We all took it in turns to hug Fitt and congratulate her on her achievement.
‘We’ll be able to make a start first thing on the next volunteers,’ said Aleks.
‘They’ve already started on themselves, witness for yourselves,’ Fitt said proudly. She showed us how she had brought Mother Elder in to witness what she was doing after we left her to it, and how Mother Elder was now excitedly broadcasting the intricacies of her achievements to the rest of the community at Shady Mountain, as well as to the Elders from all of the other Kindred communities. ‘Nobody’s going to be getting much sleep tonight!’
While I could sense the truth of her words from the Kindred communities, I co
uld also sense that there were those who were more confident to press on with the healing than others.
‘We’ll help any who need it tomorrow,’ Justin said, yawning as he lay down in his bedding, holding his arm out to one side for me to snuggle up next to him.
‘We should offer it now,’ said Fitt.
‘We should sleep. You too, Fitt,’ said Rowena. ‘Even Flame knows it’s time to stop and rest for a while, see, she’s lain herself down over there with Infinity and Oak. Tomorrow will come soon enough.’
‘The oracle has spoken,’ came Marvel’s muffled voice from under his blanket, and then, ‘oooof!’
Sonja giggled and said to the mound that was Marvel, ‘you can’t have thought that your blanket was any kind of hiding place to tease Rowena from?’
‘He barely thinks at all, Sonn,’ said Rowena, ‘that’s why...’
I fell asleep to the sound of my friends’ teasing. Justin and Gas were with Infinity and me as we wove our way up through the trees and then carried on up towards the mountains. We wove our way in between the peaks and then aimed ever upwards, towards the stars. We lost sight of them long before we reached them, finding ourselves instead floating in greyness.
We were thought without limit. We created ourselves anew in a thousand different ways, each version of ourselves merging flawlessly into the next the instant it occurred to us. We were colour, then we were grey. We were mist that hung motionless and then we were waves of energy, undulating through the infinite and then smoothing out to stream ever onwards. We curved around to one side and dispersed into a million droplets. Each one was us and we revelled in them colliding back together and merging to form an arrow that aimed itself at impossible speed at a massive circular target, becoming one with the target once it hit. We spread out as thinly as we could, forming a sheet, the corners of which gathered, enveloping the greyness within. We rejoiced as we furled ourselves into a ball, trapping the oneness within but knowing that it wasn’t trapped for it was us. We hurled ourselves through the limitless. We were Infinity!
All the time that we gloried in our pure, unadulterated oneness, Infinity and Gas never let me or Justin forget ourselves. Our draw to visit home had taken us there, but we were merely visiting and we would be returning to the dream. Eventually, Adam and Peace joined us, understanding our presence there but pushing us gently as Infinity and Gas drew us away.
‘They’re so sweet,’ whispered Sonja. ‘Just look at them, we can’t possibly wake them.’
‘Trust me when I tell you that Justin will not appreciate you referring to him as sweet,’ said Aleks.
‘One of these days, you’ll learn to whisper, Aleks, and the rest of us will think we’ve gone deaf,’ whispered Rowena.
I felt Justin shaking with laughter as I lay sprawled across his chest. Do we admit we’re awake? I tried to make my thoughts small enough that only Justin would notice them.
‘Do you honestly think you can hide it from us, Am?’ Rowena said.
Justin sighed and then his voice rumbled from beneath me. ‘There are advantages to having friends who know your thoughts, and there are drawbacks. Right now, Rowena, you count as a drawback. Yes, Am, I think we admit that we’re awake.’
‘I call her the oracle and I get booted in the shins. Justin sleeps in, misses all his chores and then calls her a drawback and... nothing,’ said Marvel.
‘It’s like we never fell asleep isn’t it?’ Justin grinned up at me as I sat up and smoothed my hair away from my face.
We both remembered where we’d been and I saw that the look in Justin’s eyes mirrored my own homesickness. Infinity and Gas made their presence known in our minds, reminding us of who we were and why we were here and then they backed it up with their physical presence. Gas leaned down over Justin and nuzzled his forehead as Infinity’s face appeared in front of me, her blue eyes holding mine. We knew where home was. It had always been there and would always be there. For now, we were here and we had work to do.
‘Thanks Fin, I know,’ I said, smiling gratefully to Holly as I accepted the bowl of stew she was holding in front of me.
Justin sat up and thanked Holly as he accepted his own bowl. ‘Maybe we shouldn’t do that again, not while we still have things to do here,’ he said quietly. ‘The horses can be there or here or both whenever they want and with no ill effect, but it’s harder for us.’
‘Maybe that’s just because we have less practice? The horses are born that way but we aren’t – maybe we just need to go back and forth more and then it will be easier for us to tear ourselves away?’ I said.
Justin was thoughtful and for once, Infinity was quiet. She didn’t know either. We were pushing what it was to be human beyond the boundaries that had previously existed. Who knew where we would end up?
‘Still finding it hard being back here, huh?’ Aleks said, crouching down with Justin and me as we ate. ‘I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Things happen the way they should and they always will, so I think you just have to trust the process.’
Justin and I looked at one another and then nodded in unison.
‘Thanks, Aleks,’ I said.
‘Spot on. Thanks mate,’ Justin said.
‘Any time,’ Aleks replied. He fetched his brushes and went to groom Nexus.
‘The counselled becomes the counsellor,’ Justin murmured.
‘Everything comes into balance,’ I murmured in reply.
‘And it’s good that it has. You’ve achieved most of what you wanted to on this mission, you can relax a bit now,’ Justin said.
‘I still think you’re the best at leading us into messes though, Am,’ Marvel said.
‘That’s just because we haven’t yet seen what you can do in that department, Marv,’ said Justin. ‘I’m willing to bet that, given the chance, you could be the destruction of us all that Am has so far avoided being.’
‘Agreed,’ said Vickery.
‘Agreed,’ said Rowena.
‘Heartily agreed,’ Aleks called over.
‘Sorry Marvel, I do have to agree to that,’ said Holly.
Fitt laughed a hearty laugh. ‘I agree,’ she said.
‘Then we’re agreed that Am is still in charge of driving this little adventure of ours to its conclusion?’ Sonja said.
At the smiling nods, including Marvel’s, I said, ‘okay, well we have another couple of weeks here to allow everyone to heal their bodies as much as they can and so that the Kindred can decide who will be travelling with us in their advance party, and then I think we should leave for Rockwood. We’ll arrive there in mid-winter, which will be perfect timing.’
‘For what?’ Rowena said.
‘Why Rockwood?’ Aleks asked.
I shared my thoughts with them all and saw understanding dawn.
‘Katonia,’ breathed Holly.
I nodded. ‘We need to go to Rockwood, because that’s where my sister is.’
Twenty-Five
Rejoice
We left Shady Mountain nearly three weeks later, joined by seven Kindred – eight if Fitt were included in the count, although none of us ever did; since she was Horse-Bonded, to us she was no more Kindred than the rest of us were human. We just were.
Mother Elder was, of course, with us, and so was Fitt’s mother, Lacemore, who had been overjoyed to have been able to argue vociferously – as a result of her newly healed throat – for her inclusion in the group. She had successfully pointed out that as the mother of one of the Horse-Bonded, her acceptance by humans should be easier. She had also admitted to feeling pride in her daughter’s achievements and to her wish to be able to observe first hand this next instalment of Fitt’s journey. Her arguments had succeeded in winning her mate’s place on the journey alongside her and Fitt’s father, the physically imposing, black-pelted Ashwell, was equally delighted to be accompanying us.
The first two younglings who had stood tall in the clearing – a rare brother and sister – had also requested to come with us and Mother Elder had ins
tantly included them in our group. Harperlake and Harperleaf were very alike and only easily discernible from one another by Harperlake’s greater height – as with all Kindred, their genders weren’t physically obvious despite their lack of clothing, since their Enforcer ancestors had been bred with their genitalia hidden behind folds of toughened skin so as not to present a point of weakness – both having pelts of such a light brown as to almost be blond and eyes of the darkest blue. Both were quiet, thoughtful characters to whom decision making had always been less troublesome than most Kindred found it to be; both would have thrived during their Findself experiences had they had a chance to undertake them.
The Sixth addition to our group was Levitsson, a tawny-pelted Kindred who had been elevated to adult status on his return from his Findself, shortly before our arrival at Shady Mountain. He was young enough not to have chosen a mate but old enough to be leaving his parents’ shelter. He had no responsibilities and was eager for the challenge of attempting to integrate into human society so that the rest of his community could follow. He had been one of the first to both understand and join in with the humour of our group and had an easy-going nature, so we were all very happy when Mother Elder chose him to accompany us.
The last of the seven was Foxstep, the oldest member of the Shady Mountain community. A few years older than Mother Elder, his skin thickening had been causing him considerable pain and discomfort in recent months and if it weren’t for the healing with which Fitt had helped him over the past week, he would have chosen to remain in the north this winter. Whilst Fitt had reduced his skin thickening as much as she could, it still prevented him from straightening all of his joints, causing him to be a little stooped, but he stood tall along with the rest of the Kindred in the way that mattered. Though his black pelt was streaked with white and his fangs were dark yellow with age, he could use his voice once more and he could swing through the trees almost with the best of them. Mother Elder had felt that having another elderly Kindred accompany us as well as herself would be of benefit in convincing the humans that they were no threat.
