“Oh God.” Rowan’s hands shook as she reached for Pixie. She thought twice about it and decided to let her snooze. She didn’t want to let the best part of the day pass, didn’t want to admit how broken this made her feel. “I was just about to tell him that she...”
She wiped her eyes on the back of her hands and groaned loudly.
“Shall I put her in her cot until tea time?”
“Thanks, but I’ll do that. Sorry I’m such a mess, Nan.”
Nan put her hand on Rowan’s shoulder and then pulled her into a cuddle. “Take your time, sweetheart. We don’t know much about his situation, he did say he only wanted a bed for the night.”
Groaning aloud again, Rowan pulled free of the cuddle. “Yeah, yeah, and I suppose I should be grateful I got today.” And last night, she added silently, wistfully.
“I’ll put the kettle on.”
Pixie began waking up, making grizzly noises when she found herself trapped in the buggy.
When Rowan saw her upturned face, it was even harder not to see her mind image of Sean. It’d always been the case, ever since Pixie first opened her eyes. She was cursed for the rest of her life. She would look at her child, and see the father who couldn’t hang around for more than one night. The tears came, and she couldn’t hold them back this time. She went to Pixie, lifted her into her arms hugged tightly. “Mummy’s here, sweetheart. Don’t fret, Mummy is here.”
Without another word to Nan, she carried Pixie upstairs to her room.
Stepping over to the infant’s familiar cot, she sat down on the nearby nursing stool, and rearranged Pixie on her lap. Pixie was still sleepy, although she was fighting it and Rowan looked down at her, smiling through her tears. “Your dad might be a complete loser, but at least I have you.”
Pixie cooed at her.
Grateful at least one of them was happy, Rowan mustered a smile.
Pixie started wriggling in her arms, trying to reach out for something. “Which one do you want?”
Rowan looked back at the cot and there, amongst the cuddly toys, she saw a white envelope with her name scrawled on it in Sean’s handwriting.
Letting Pixie loose in her playpen, she reached for the envelope. A note, he’d left a note. She silently mouthed a string of curses. “Some feeble excuse about catching up with the guys, I suppose.”
She stared at the envelope but fury forbade her to read whatever was inside and she dropped it on the floor. With her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands she stared down at the abandoned envelope. Several long moments crept by, and her curiosity built. She fought it, but she could see words scrawled on the page inside.
Time passed, how long she didn’t know. All she could feel was pain, her mood oscillating between desperation and unhappiness, loss, and rage. Her emotions dipped and bulged and tangled.
Her heart had just begun to unlock. She’d decided to believe what he was saying. She glanced at the open doorway, the guest room beyond. All that crap about needing her naked so that he could tell how much she wanted him and needed him, it was all bollocks. He just wanted a cheap striptease to mark his first night out of his jail cell. And she’d fallen for it. Stupid, stupid woman.
Staring at the floor in a desperate stupor, the noise of Pixie playing with toys was the only thing keeping her detached from reality. Eventually, and reluctantly, she reached for the torn envelope and pulled out the sheet of paper inside. Smoothing the torn page out on her lap, she took a deep shaky breath and began to read.
Rowan,
I know you’ll be angry with me right now. Don’t be upset, this isn’t what I wanted to do. I need to be quick, but I need to explain. When I was inside, a guy found out about my coding skills. I have to do a job for them, and I’m leaving to keep you and Pixie safe. Hang tight, lover. I’ll be in touch as soon as it’s safe to do so.
Yours always
Sean
At first it was relief she felt, and she almost got annoyed with herself when she realized she hadn’t given him the chance to explain. He’d come in here to leave the note, he’d found Pixie’s cot. Her heart missed a beat. Was that because he knew she’d come here first, or did it indicate something else?
“If Gladys or Nan has told him our secret,” she said to Pixie, “I will personally throttle the both of them.”
She re-read the letter.
“Oh God,” she muttered. He was doing anther hacking job, after saying he wouldn’t ever go there again, and this time it was for some bloke he’d met in prison.
This was even worse than the last time!
She simply couldn’t allow him to do another hack, whatever he said the reason was. She knew what was behind it. Fake glory. Back when they were all one family the three lads loved egging each other on in their hacking games. Sean had gone too far down that path. Now it looked as if she were the only who would stand in his way and stop him making an even bigger mistake than before.
Whether he’d come here for love or a quick shag was now beside the point because she knew she would never escape him in her heart. It meant she had to do everything she could to keep him from going down the same dark path he’d just spent the last year and more on.
“You idiot, Sean Rattigan. I will never forgive you for this. As for me staying safe, get lost!” She threw the letter on the floor again, scooped up Pixie and marched down the stairs with Pixie in one arm.
In the kitchen she found both of them, Aunt Gladys washing and Nan drying dishes. A task they didn’t usually do until much later in the day. Diversion tactics? Rowan had the suspicion one of them had talked to Sean, probably while she was at the shop, spilling the secret, or worse still ordering him to at least leave the poor girl a note, she could just picture it. Nan had been open to him changing, but Aunt Gladys had a notoriously strict moral code.
Annoyed, she pulled the drying towel from Nan’s hands and handed over Pixie. “I’ve decided to take your advice and visit Sky and Rory, if you’re good with your promise to look after Pixie while I’m gone.”
Nan’s eyebrows rose, but she gladly accepted the infant from Rowan’s arms. “Well I thought you should take up the invitation, and get a break from this place.”
“What about your classes Rowan?” Aunt Gladys asked. “You don’t want to miss anything important. You might mess up your second chance.”
“I’ll just have to miss a few days, but I’ve got it covered. There are two other single mums taking the same classes. We made a pact when we met, we’d make notes for each other if we had to be away because of our kids.” Or to hunt down absentee dads, she silently added.
“I’m guessing this means Sean has gone to London, and you’re going after him?” Aunt Gladys asked, frowning.
“I am not running after him!” Rowan declared loudly, trembling with rage. “If I ever see that man again I will box his ears for being so stupid. He’s off on some dubious job that’ll probably land him right back in jail.”
Nan’s eyebrows hadn’t lowered. “Oh…okay.”
Rowan sighed. “All right, I admit it. I’m going there because I think they probably know where he is. But he can’t just do this to me, not again, he needs to know he’s got a child now.”
She reached out and stroked Pixie’s hair, but kept one eye on the ladies to see if they let anything slip. “If he can’t handle the facts of life, I’ll give him a piece of my mind.”
“Maybe he guessed she was his,” Nan offered.
Rowan stared at her. Nan was speaking in that voice she used to calm people down. All it did for Rowan was set off alarm bells in her head.
Aunt Gladys mumbled in agreement in the background.
Rowan turned and looked at Gladys. “Please tell me you didn’t…?”
Gladys quickly shook her head. “I didn’t tell him, but as Nan said, he might have guessed…”
Rowan’s entire body went hot and cold. That’s what happened. He’d guessed.
So why hadn’t he said anything? Cowardice?
What the fuck?
Yeah, and then he’d taken off, without even saying goodbye.
So much for the excuse in the note. He’d just baled on them because she had a child, and it was his. Bastard!
“In that case,” she replied, her voice raising several octaves, “all the more reason why he shouldn’t have done this!”
If it was the last thing she ever did, she was going to hunt that man down and make him regret he’d ever set foot back in Prestatyn.
Chapter Twelve
Sean didn’t want to be in London. Not yet.
This wasn’t the plan. He wanted his time out with Rowan in Wales. If he could find a good job there and stay by Rowan and Pixie’s side, he’d never leave.
He grasped the metal cap on the bottle of beer Rory had put in his hand and twisted it off with his palm. Leaning back in the kitchen chair, he rested one ankle on the opposite knee, staring at his motorcycle boots thoughtfully.
“So what are you going to do?” Rory asked.
Sean shrugged. He wished he could really shrug it all off. He really didn’t want to have to make a decision about this one. Not now. Not ever. But Rowan’s safety was at stake. He’d been trying to figure his way out of it all the way from Wales. A journey that wrenched him apart. “I vowed never to hack again, but it may be the only way out of this.”
Draco, their stepbrother—and Rowan’s full brother—shook his head and loosened his tie.
Sean eyeballed the flashy suit Draco wore with suspicion. What the hell had happened to him? Their stepbrother was dressed like a business man. He stood in the doorway of Rory’s kitchen, while Rory and Sky sat either side of the kitchen table, each with a bottle of beer in their hand while they contemplated the situation Sean had found himself in. A cat observed, occasionally strolling around, looping its tail around Rory’s legs.
The reunion reminded Sean of the days back when their two families had been hitched together, like a bunch of abandoned railcars set on a new track. They used to hang out in Shelley’s kitchen back in Rhyl. Except Rowan wasn’t with them now, and Rowan was always the key ingredient for him.
Rory had a great set up here though, home and job, and Sean was glad of it.
The house dog—a shaggy wolfhound called Oscar—loped over to him and nudged his hand from his knee, seeking a fuss from the newest arrival. Sean ruffled the dog’s ears and rubbed his back. They used to have a dog when they were kids, but their dad had sold him on because he was a good rat hunter. Sean missed that dog, always had.
“I just can’t figure out how they found me,” he said, thoughtfully. “I knew it might happen, so I took off fast and detoured during my drive to Wales. I kept checking, but I was pretty sure there was no one on my back or I’d lost them early on. I could kick myself. I shouldn’t have gone directly to Rowan.”
“You had to see her,” Draco offered. “We’ve all been there, buddy.”
“Jesus, hark at you. What happened to ‘get your hand’s off my sister’?” Sean gave a wry laugh. It amused him to see Draco so chilled. He’d changed. It was kind of intriguing. And Sean was curious about this woman Draco was seeing. That and the whole businessman angle.
Draco smiled. “Let’s just say I’ve met worse guys. I’m willing to let you see Rowan.” He paused, and locked eyes with Sean. “As long as you get your shit sorted, and soon.”
“It’ll happen. First meet is tomorrow, the hack is Friday.”
“Oh shit.” Sky pushed back her chair. Her eyes were wide and she’d tensed. “I just remembered, some guy came into the workshop day before yesterday and asked for you.”
“What did he look like?”
“Tall and heavily built, leather jacket, hair cropped at the sides, long on top.”
Sean nodded. “That’s the guy, the gopher. He works for a big time hustler I met inside, name of Delahane. He’s into everything, theft, extortion, trafficking, money laundering. Serving time for armed robbery, attempted murder and actual bodily harm. Rumor is murder should be on the list but they couldn’t pin it on him. He’s got another fifteen years in the clink, but he’s still operational on the outside and let’s everybody know it. Got a team who do his bidding on his patch, carrying out his orders. The guy looking for me is one of his. Delahane found out I was a hacker and warned me I’d get a call.”
It was a bit more complicated than that, but Sean didn’t want them to know more than the bare minimum. Delahane’s name served as a warning in case they heard it again, and Sean omitted details that might incriminate or endanger any of them. The truth was Delahane was a gangland lord, a violent and brutal sadist. You learned to steer clear of him inside or fell fowl of his scheming. Sean thought he’d managed to steer clear, but someone spilled details about his hacking skills, gaining him Delahane’s attention in those last couple of months.
“Oh my God,” Sky’s face flushed. “It’s my fault he knew where to find you, has to be.”
Sean shot her a glance. “Chill, Sky.”
It really was too late to fret over how it’d happened. He should have warned Rory though.
Sky looked from Sean to Rory and back again. “I just said you weren’t in the city yet. Said call back in a few days. You’d be here in London by then.”
“They didn’t want to wait that long,” Sean muttered under his breath. If only he hadn’t gone to Wales. An image of Rowan had lodged in his mind. Rowan, fierce and strong, giving herself over to him while holding him back every step of the way.
Tension drummed at his temples.
Rory was speaking. “I remember Sky mentioning it. I thought it was someone you’d hooked up with inside, or a mate who wanted to get in touch.” He looked across the table at Sky. “You sure you didn’t mention Wales?”
She shook her head. “Positive.”
Sean waved his hand, dismissing the issue. “Process of elimination. You try not to let it happen when you’re inside, but things slip when you’re talking, things that get used against you. This hack is payment owed, nothing to do with you guys, okay?”
Sky gave a slight nod, but looked fretful nonetheless.
“I’ll sort this. Rowan won’t even know what’s been going on.” He noticed Sky’s eyelids dropped. Was she already passing information back and forth? “Better that way,” he said insistently. “You understand, Sky?” He paused until she met his gaze. “That it’s safest for her and Pixie, and our special ladies, if she hears nothing.”
Sky nodded. There were patches of color on her cheeks.
He eyeballed her, making sure she understood how serious it was.
“We’ll figure something out,” Rory said.
“No, I’m dealing with this alone. It’s my problem, I’ll sort it.”
Sky leaned forward, looking at him earnestly. “Please, Sean, let us help. We sorted that bloke Jackson together, didn’t we Rory?”
“Jackson? Is that loser still around?”
Rory shook his head at Sky. “Jackson was small fry. Don’t underestimate the situation.”
Sean nodded at his brother. “What happened with Jackson?”
Rory shrugged. “It was no big deal. He wanted my hacker kit.”
“Between us, we jinxed him.” Sky brightened up considerably as she filled him in. “We let Jackson think he’d got me as security. Rory handed over the hacker kit, but he’d programmed it to self-destruct after we got out of there.”
In the background, Sean noticed Draco shaking his head, but he was smiling too, clearly amused by a story he’d heard before.
“Nice one,” Sean commented.
Rory’s mouth quirked, but again he shrugged. “It’s not really comparable though, is it?”
Sean took a swig of his beer.
The dog got up and headed to the door. Sky stood up to let him out.
Sean took his chance and leaned over the table to get closer to his brother. “You could have given me a heads up about ‘the ladies’ and the fact there are now four of them.”
Rory shifted uneasily. “Sorry. Sworn to
secrecy, Bro.”
Sean sighed aloud. He knew how stubborn Rowan could be, first hand. “I realize you had to respect Rowan’s wishes, but…Christ, I went there and immediately put my bloody big foot in it.”
Draco chuckled. “I wish I’d been there to see it.”
“This hack…if we don’t think of a get-out for you by Friday,” Rory continued, lowering his voice to exclude Sky, “we’ll help out with the job, get it over with as quickly as possible.”
“No way. I’m not getting you involved. I’ll go it alone”
Draco moved to the table and lifted his bottle of beer, pointing it at Sean. “You’ve done that once too often. We’re in this together. Once we sort it, we’re all clean.”
“There’s the rub,” Sean replied. “With this guy, there’d be no end to it. If I do as they ask, you can bet your last penny they’d want more. If I say no, they’ll deal out a hard lesson.”
Sky came back from the door, and looked at him, aghast. “You mean they might still keep the threat hanging over you, even if you did the hack?”
The awe in her eyes hadn’t entirely disappeared, even if she did look all grown up now. Sean gave a wry smile. “These guys are real criminals.”
“How about jinxing the job, like we did with Jackson,” Rory suggested. “If we could create enough angst for them they won’t want to use you again.”
“Too dangerous.” Sean was beginning to regret opening up. Ideas he could accept. Involvement, not so much.
“Hold that thought.” It was Draco who commented, and his eyes narrowed, as if his mind was whirring ahead in that way of his. “Did they mention the name of the place for the hack?”
They had, but Sean had been seething and had to scrabble to recall it. “Kerridges? Something like that.”
Draco fished his phone out of his pocket and started scanning info. “Going big time, huh?” A sly smile crossed his face. “When are they next getting in touch?”
There was a businesslike attitude about him that matched the fancy suit he wore. Sean still couldn’t get over it. Draco looked like a city gent, and he was chilled and confident too. He looked good. They were all so familiar, yet changed somehow. He supposed he was too. The four of them had gelled instantly when they’d come together here in Rory’s place earlier that evening, but they each brought new things to the table. “They want me in situ tomorrow afternoon in order to get the lay of the land and timetable for Friday.”
Sean: A Stepbrother Romance (Coded for Love Book 3) Page 9
