by Alex Hayes
“Cadi, this isn’t crazy. The only thing that’s crazy is how much I love you. Dad fronted me the money against my advance from the record company.”
I gasp. “You got an advance? They signed you?”
He grins and nods.
Clutching the box, I throw my arms over his shoulders. “I’m so happy for you. God, we’ve so much to celebrate.”
He pushes me away, and says, eagerly, “Try it on.”
“But…”
“No, wait.” He takes the box out of my hand. “I’ll put it on.”
I bite my lip as he extracts the ring.
“Hold out your left hand.” He slips his palm under mine and slides the ring onto my ring finger. A perfect fit.
“Idris, you’ve just put your ring on my—”
“I know. It’s an engagement ring, Cadi.”
My eyes can’t pull away from the bright green gem resting on my finger. This is a promise. A commitment to spend the rest of our lives together. Not that I ever doubted we would, being bonded and all, but still, he’s asking me to…
My eyes narrow and doubt crowds in. “Aren’t you supposed to, sort of, ask me to… you know… to—”
He grips my fingers tightly. “Marry me, Cadi. Please.”
I can’t help staring at him, open-mouthed. His proposal—as uniquely Idris as it is—confounds me. “I…”
His eyes shine with anticipation, then worry. “Cadi?”
I laugh. “Of course I will. But aren’t we already, sort of… engaged?”
He lifts one shoulder. “Yeah, but I thought we ought to do the human thing too. I mean, there’s no rush to go through a ceremony or anything.”
“But why now?” It’s not like we’ve ever talked marriage before.
He shrugs. “I’ve been thinking for a while that the day you turned eighteen would be the perfect day to do this. You’re legal now and can make your own decisions.”
“And your dad went along with it?” I’m amazed.
“Why wouldn’t he? He knows we’re both from another planet and bonded to boot. What’s he gonna say?”
I bite my lip. “And your mom?”
“Yeah, well, Mom’s another story, but she’ll come around.” He scoops up my hand and shifts it so the light catches the polished stones.
I stare at the ring. “It’s beautiful, Idris. Thank you.”
“Green.” He smiles. “Like the color of your eyes… and your skin.”
“Do you…” My cheeks flush hot. “Do you think we should…”
“Make love in our natural form?” he suggests, eyes sparkling.
My heart pitter-patters like webbed feet on wet pavement. The risk is small, virtually nonexistent, as long as I shift back within a few hours. I pull in a breath. “Yes.”
In the blink of an eye, Idris changes into a Livran. In another, I shift, too.
We stare at each other, eyes saying a thousand things at once.
My hormones kick in, but I push back. You’ll get your way tonight, but we’re doing this at my speed.
I mosey up to him, slowly, slide my arms over his shoulders and skim his neck with a pointy fingernail.
He shivers at my touch, his smile widening. “You are the sexiest lizard girl ever.”
I chuckle. “You’re not so bad yourself, Lizard Boy.”
He leans in, lips brushing a sensitive spot on my neck, and my whole body hums and starts to melt.
Buttons yield with a bit of effort, given our long nails, and I suspect Livran tailors must’ve avoided them on our homeworld.
Clothes slide over silken scales, piece by piece, without hurry, both of us aware of how special and important the “first time” is. As humans we followed the same, mindful pace, but a deep awareness tells me this time is going to be so much better.
As a flame of anticipation flickers in my chest, I consider that sex in Livran form with my bond mate is going to be a thousand kinds of amazing.
My fingers draw back the bedcovers as Idris clicks the bedside lamp down low. The emerald on my finger catches the light and glistens, bright green like the scales on our skin.
My Livran sight makes Idris’s body glow like some ethereal creature.
“You look like an angel,” he whispers, reading my mind.
The first time I saw him, really saw him, I said he was beautiful. The intense colors and detailed markings on his skin are incredible.
God, he brings me to life, makes me aware of who and what I am. Something wondrous.
My scales slip smoothly across cotton sheets. The mattress cradles my weight. His body slides close and the subtle musk of his skin vitalizes my senses. Flesh meets flesh. Crystals quiver in synchrony. A soft melody ripples through my ears and into my brain, enlivening nerve endings and stimulating my core.
Warmth and joy, tenderness and love, comfort and the sweetest music permeate every cell of my body, soaking deeper and deeper until they saturate my soul.
This is what it means to be. I am. He is. We are. One. Joined by an eternal thread that will never be broken.
Together, we are the manifestation of love.
Batteries. I wake up, eyes wide. I’ll go early, before anyone else is up, I told myself last night. Crud.
The bedside light is still on. Idris curls like a cone shell around me.
I’ve no idea what time it is. The bedroom in the Thorny Rose basement has no windows. It could be noon for all I know, and with my birthday…
“Idris?” I shake his arm. “I need to go.”
He mumbles and his hand curves over my hip. The effect of his touch sends those hormones jumping all over again, and I realize we’re still in Livran form.
Holy crap! How long did Mr. Scrim say it took for fertilization to occur? Hours to days? It doesn’t matter. I shape shift back to human.
“Idris, wake up!” I twist in his embrace, then grab his wrist and check his smartwatch. Four a.m.
Four hours. Jeez. Let’s hope we didn’t reach the short end of that fertilization window.
I shake him.
“Cadi… God, I’m so tired.” He buries his face into my naked chest. “How many times did we…?”
Yeah, Livran sex is beyond amazing, and addictive when you’re a girl in heat. Meaning, I lost count of how many times.
We used protection, at least. Most of the time.
Ugh, don’t think about the biological side of it.
“Idris, I need to get back to the crystal tree. The batteries need replacing in the monitoring device.”
He sucks in a sleepy breath. “Isn’t it like the middle of the night?”
“Not for much longer. I should have gone back yesterday, but it got too late.”
He sits up and drags a hand over his smooth scalp. “What am I still doing…? Shit!” He stares at me. “When did you turn back?”
I sigh. “A couple of minutes ago.”
“So how long—”
“About four hours.” I’ve already been through this mental exercise. “Forget about that for now. I need to go home before anyone wakes up.”
“Who’s going to be awake at four a.m.?”
I drop my head against the pillow. “No one, I hope. But Papa wakes early.”
“You really think he’s going to care what you’re doing at that time of the morning?”
“Yes. Given that I haven’t told him or Mama about the crystal cutting yet,” I say gruffly.
“Okay, okay.” He shape shifts and starts dressing, tossing my clothes onto the bed as he sorts out his own.
I smile, watching him, then shake myself out of it and pull on my underwear.
We roll into the cabin driveway before five. I hurry inside and grab the batteries out of my room, praying Pepper stayed in Dean and Ty’s room last night. While I’m there, I slip on a light cotton jacket.
No sign of the canine.
I head back outside, and we hurry down the hillside as the sky takes on the pinkish hue of dawn.
The darkness under
the trees slows our trek, but I’m not going Livran given our recent activities.
Finally, Idris loses patience and shape shifts. He grabs my hand and guides me through the low light. “I sure hope all mother bears are sleeping.”
“Me too,” I say, hurrying along beside him.
By the time we reach the cave, it’s approaching six. I push aside the doorway boulder and send Idris inside to change the batteries. While I wait, I watch the crystal tree monitoring app on my phone. The screen refreshes and a set of green numbers appear.
Thank heavens for that!
I hear a dog bark and freeze.
A shout disturbs the cool morning air. “Pepper, come!” Dean.
What the hell is he doing out here at this hour?
I hurry to the cave entrance, and call, “Idris, we’ve got company.”
“Shit,” comes his unsavory response.
A flash of dark red signals Pepper’s approach.
“Hey, boy. Go fetch a stick,” I whisper, hoping not to alert Dean of my presence.
Good luck with that.
While I’m gnawing on my lip, not sure what to do, a branch presses into my leg.
“Good boy.” I pat the dog’s head.
“Pepper! Where the hell did you go?” Dean yells, still a fair distance away.
I realize leading Dean as far away as possible from the cave and Idris makes the most sense.
“I’ll get rid of them,” I call into the cave.
“Okay,” Idris answers, from just beyond view.
I hurry down the path.
Dean’s eyes fall on me as I stride toward him. “Cadi? Are you okay?”
Slowing my pace, I try to look relaxed, like I was taking a walk and minding my own business. Unlike some people. “Yeah, I’m fine. What are you doing out here?”
His brow crinkles. “I let Pepper out the back door and he took off. Guess he picked up your scent.”
Well, it was fresh enough. They couldn’t have been that far behind us. But how do I get rid of them? “Yeah, an extra-long walk this morning,” I say. “That’s why I left the house early. Working on my endurance.”
Pepper headbutts me, stick in mouth. He releases it into my hand, then bounces around like Tigger, until I hurl it back down the path.
And off he goes.
As Dean turns to watch the dog fly off, I lift a hand to my unbrushed hair. The low light catches the facets in the emerald on my finger.
Oh, crap. If Dean sees Idris’s ring, he’ll start asking questions I really don’t want to answer. I twist the stone so it’s on the inside of my hand and yank down my sleeves.
He turns back to me. “You sure you’re okay?” His penetrating gaze makes me swallow.
“Yeah.” The word comes out off-key. Why am I such a crappy liar?
“So why don’t I believe you?”
I shrug. “Maybe I’ll head home with you guys and make sure you find your way.”
His face puckers up again. “What about your endurance training?”
“I’ll turn back once we reach the cabin and repeat the loop.” I stride on up the path as Pepper dashes back, ready for another stick throw. I oblige.
My phone buzzes in my jacket pocket. Crapola, now what?
Idris. Who is that guy and why is he freaking you out?
I stuff the phone away just as Dean, with his long legs, catches up.
“Cadi, what’s going on?”
“Nothing.” God, why is he so insistent?
He huffs out a breath. “Then why are you walking so fast?”
“This is supposed to be exercise.”
Dean tugs at my sleeve. “Look, maybe it’s time we talked.”
Breath catches in my throat. “A-About what?” I don’t stop walking.
“About us?”
My heart threatens to burst out of my chest. “There is no us, Dean.”
The phone in my pocket buzzes like an angry bee. I ignore it.
“Cadi, I didn’t mean it like that.” Dean’s tone is irritated. “I’m talking about everything that happened before you left. I made a mistake… several mistakes, and I’m sorry. Hurting you was the last thing I intended.”
“Well, I got over it. Coming here worked out for me. Everything’s fine.”
“Then why won’t you talk to me?”
My eyes drop to the ground. “I am talking to you, Dean.”
He barks out a laugh. “This isn’t talking, Cadi. You act like you’re dodging bullets.”
I sigh and drop my pace. “We’ve been down this path before.” I roll my eyes at my own cliché. “Not this literal path…” Ugh, obviously. “I mean… you know what I mean. There are some things you’re better off not knowing.”
Like I’m an alien, a refugee from another planet, who is green and scaly in her natural form and has a bond mate who could fry your eardrums and kick your ass to the moon. At the same time.
“Why is telling the truth such a scary thing for you?”
I drag my fingers through my hair. “Because I seriously don’t think you could handle it.” I glare at him, anger blooming in my chest. “You shouldn’t have come here.”
His hands clench. “I had no choice. Do you think I wanted to come face to face with you again, knowing you hate my guts?”
“I do not hate your guts,” I growl. “I just wish you’d…” I huff, “stayed out of my life.” I expect him to storm off, but he doesn’t.
“Well, I can’t,” he responds, icily. “Tom hired me to do a job. If you want to treat me like shit, go ahead. I’m used to it. But I’m not leaving.”
My heart clenches. Now I feel like shit. “I never meant to treat you like… anything. Or hurt you.” I stop short and stare at him. “But I have to protect myself.”
His eyes reflect pain and disappointment. “I’m your friend, Cadi. You shouldn’t have to protect yourself from me.” He shakes his head and strides away.
I let him. I feel like a jerk, like I should chase after him. Bare my soul to him. But what I am isn’t my secret alone. So I don’t. I let him go. And when he’s out of sight, I turn around and jog back down the trail.
An irate voice bursts out from among the trees. “Who the hell is that guy?” Idris is human again and jumps down to the trail beside me.
I throw back my head, like a wolf crying to the moon. “He’s Dean!”
18
Dean
I can’t get away from Cadi fast enough. She’s like my mom, holding all the cards, like I have no right to know what the hell is going on.
I tighten my jaw, grinding my teeth. Okay, so maybe Cadi has a right not to trust me, but she could at least hear me out. After Jake unleashed his Cadi slur campaign, I would’ve done anything to take back what I’d told him.
By the time I reach the cabin, it’s time to get up. Just as well, because I couldn’t have gone back to sleep anyway.
The BMW sitting in the driveway at dawn is gone by the time Shri and I head out to the barn to help Tom. Another mystery that has everything to do with Cadi.
Tom rolls out a plan of the property across the workbench and describes the layout and orientation of the vacation cabins he plans to build. Two dozen seems a lot, but there’s plenty of land to distribute them across. The challenge is keeping them within comfortable walking distance from the common spaces while maintaining some level of privacy.
“The biggest problem I see is locating the central dining hall,” Tom says, pointing to a spot on the map. “The most obvious place is here.” He means right where we’re standing, in the barn. “But renovating the place will take more work and money than building something new.”
“An annex to this structure?” I suggest.
Tom rubs his chin. “That would mean cutting trees, and I’d rather work around them.”
As we walk the property, discussing the challenges posed by the terrain, my enthusiasm rises, and thoughts of Cadi and her concealment are quickly banished. This is engineering. These are the challenges
I want to learn about, put effort into and overcome. This is the kind of work I’ll do in college.
Someday.
I can’t give up that dream.
Cadi left for work early, probably in that damned BMW. Mrs. Jacobsen picks her up in time for dinner, but Cadi no-shows the meal.
I drag my brother to bed early. I’m tired but I don’t change out of my day clothes. I have some secret agenting to do.
Ty exits the bathroom in undershorts and drops his clothes in a messy pile on a chair. He’s been a lot less obsessed about neatness since he got here. He tucks himself under the bedcovers and disappears into the book I bought him. By nine-thirty, he’s asleep.
A flash of light outside the window and a soft engine purr alerts me to the arrival of a vehicle. I hop from my bed and look outside. The mystery BMW swings in front of the cabin. Cadi hurries across the driveway and climbs in.
Curiosity fuels the fire inside me, while I vehemently deny the obvious. Cadi has another guy in her life.
Another? What am I thinking? Like she’d ever let me back in. But some determined part of me—the piece that sacrificed my reputation and friendships at school—can’t let her go.
I reach the front door as the vehicle pulls away. No one’s around so no explaining to do. I slip out to my car and follow.
As I trail the other vehicle, I question my sanity.
Cadi’s like a puzzle I can’t help but try to solve. But what can I possibly gain from spying on her? Most likely, learning a few things I’d rather not know. Still, I can’t seem to help myself.
The Beemer heads into Hopper, past the bookstore where Cadi works and through downtown. The tourist shops and restaurants peter out and so does the traffic. I slow, letting the distance between me and the other car lengthen. It takes a left.
After waiting for a couple of cars to cross my path, I turn after the BMW. The street morphs from closed-up coffee shops to grander and grander Victorian homes, then to a stretch of empty lots. The road intersects a wide street with a raised median.
The silver-gray vehicle swings smoothly onto the thoroughfare. I follow at a guarded pace, keeping the Beemer’s headlights just in view. The car takes another left.
