“Well, he better hope he plans on stepping up to the plate. If he can swing that bat, he better be prepared for the hit.” She exuded straight sass as she crossed her arms and pursed her lips.
Biting my lip, I dropped onto one of the stools and glanced around the empty restaurant. Then I looked her in the eye and vehemently swore. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. If he doesn’t want anything to do with this baby, I’ll be the best parent I can. My child will never live like I did.”
“Sweetheart, you’re never going to be alone. I know I’m not your mother, but I’m here for you.” Lisa rested a hand on my shoulder as she looked at me with kindness in her eyes.
“Thanks, Lisa. And I wish you’d been my mom.” A wistful smile curled my lips.
At my comment, she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into her generous bosom. “Lord, woman, I can’t breathe between you and this kiddo!” I wheezed.
With a watery smile, she sniffled. “I better go make sure they aren’t lazing around back in the kitchen. You okay?”
Nodding, I fought the stupid tears that were welling. Damn hormones, anyway.
Rushing off before I could see her getting too emotional, she pushed through the swinging door to the kitchen. I heard laughter blending with the clank of pots and pans. There was never any real worry that anyone wasn’t carrying their weight at the diner. Everyone loved Lisa. She was a great boss, but I was hoping that once I finished school that I’d be able to find a better job to provide for me and Luigi.
“Jesus, I need to figure out a name for you,” I muttered as I rubbed my belly. As if he knew I was talking to him, he stretched and rolled. It made me softly smile.
The bell on the door tinkled, and I hefted my big ass up to do my job. I pasted a smile on as I seated the scary-looking, big bearded customer and prayed for decent tips because I’d need every penny during my maternity leave. I also prayed everything went well, because I couldn’t afford to be off work for long.
My due date came and went with no further visits from Gunny. Jaxon. Whatever the hell his name really was. Either way, I should’ve known he wouldn’t be around. Then again, it had only been a few days. What did I expect? That he’d be in every day checking on me? Fat chance of that.
Then again, in his defense, he did get blindsided by all of this. While I’d had months to come to terms with an unexpected pregnancy, he’d gotten, “Hey Daddy!”
After clearing off the last table from the lunch rush, I rubbed my back. It had been incredibly sore all day. I’d also been having Braxton-Hicks contractions since I woke up. After several scares where I’d run to the hospital thinking I was in labor, I’d learned to work through them.
“Why don’t you sit down and take a break?” I glanced over my shoulder to where Lisa was resting her elbows on the counter. “You look beat, Avery.”
“I’m okay. Just tired and achy today. I hope I’m not getting sick.” Worry furrowed my brow.
“Like I said, rest,” she insisted.
“Okay, let me wipe this table down. Then I will.” I’d leaned over to get under the condiment caddy when warm wetness flooded my legs and feet. It was quickly followed by a sharp tightening of my belly that made me yelp and my legs almost gave out.
“Avery!” Lisa rushed around the counter and out into the diner. She was next to me with her hand on my back in a heartbeat. “Unless you spilled something, I think we need to get you to the hospital.”
When I was able, I raised my head and looked at her with growing panic.
“José! I’m closing up for the afternoon! Come and get the keys!” she hollered toward the kitchen.
Sensing her urgency, José came running out. “Is everything okay, Miss Lisa?” he asked, then saw the mess on the floor. “Dios mio! Go! I’ll clean this up. You go!”
“I’m so sorry about the mess, José.” On the verge of tears, I whimpered.
Lisa tossed him the keys, and he hugged me as we walked past him. “Good luck, Miss Avery. I’ll come see you after the bebé is here.”
“Thank you, José.” I tried to offer a smile but I’m sure it came out as more of a grimace.
Another contraction hit as I was trying to get in the car. It had me holding on to the top of the door as I fought my knees buckling again. “Oh my God!” I gasped.
Lisa grabbed a blanket from the back seat and put it on my seat before helping me inside. “Easy,” she murmured as she buckled me like a child. The contraction was ebbing, and I couldn’t help the tears that slipped free. The reality of my situation was sinking in and with it, fear.
On the drive, I had several more contractions. By the time we arrived at the hospital, I was silently crying. Before Lisa could get out of the car to help me inside, I grabbed her hand. Looking her in the eye, I whispered, “I’m scared.”
“Sweetheart, it’s going to be okay. Now let me go get a wheelchair. I won’t be long.”
I nodded as I sniffled and bit my lip.
Watching for Lisa to return, it sunk in that I had no one to call. On this momentous occasion, there was no one to go through it with me. No family. No friends.
Only Lisa. And I didn’t know if she’d actually stay with me.
For a moment, I wondered if I should call Gunny. Except after the way he’d reacted, I didn’t think it would be a good idea. Movement caught my eye, and I saw Lisa running toward the car with a nurse and wheelchair in tow.
“Hello, Ms. Vanstrom. I’m Emily. Looks like we’re having a baby today,” the nurse said with a friendly grin.
Filled with worry, I nodded. They got me out of the car and into the chair as another contraction slammed into me.
“Oh, sweet Jesus!” I exclaimed as I gripped the armrests tightly and hunched forward.
She rattled off questions about the timing of my contractions, and I answered the best I could. The halls rolled by in a blur as I tried to breathe like the classes had taught me. I’d only attended a few, because I was uncomfortable as the only non-couple in the class. I was wishing I’d stuck it out, because I was terrified.
What if something went wrong?
The nurse got me in and situated. They checked to see how far I’d progressed. Then they discussed dilation and effacement, but my mind wasn’t completely grasping what they were talking about.
Emily then said, “Ms. Vanstrom, it looks like this little one is coming a little sooner than we might’ve thought with it being your first. Either that, or you must have waited a long time to come in. We’re going to get you prepped for delivery. Okay?” She gave me a grin that reflected none of my fear. It was only slightly calming.
“Avery, I’ll be right back,” Lisa said, and I gripped her hand tighter and shot a worried look her way. She reassured me, “I promise, I’ll be right back.”
Trying not to cry, I whispered, “O-okay.”
While she stepped out, the nurses started an IV, and got me changed and set up.
Before I knew it, she was back. Relief flooded me as I grasped her hand again.
More than anything, I didn’t want to be alone.
“Rather Hate Than Hurt”—Hinder
“Gunny! My office. Now!” Smoke stared at me from the hallway entrance with a scowl. Without waiting for a response, he turned and retreated down the hall.
“What the fuck did you do to poke the bear?” Truth asked as he tossed his lunch trash away.
Shrugging, I huffed. “Who the fuck knows?”
“Better get your ass moving,” added Lock, and I flipped him off.
Unsure of what I could’ve done, I wracked my brain. Hell, I’d only been home a few days.
When I stepped into his office, I was met by the glaring faces of both Smoke, my president, and Straight, my vice president.
“What’s the problem?” I asked warily.
“What the fuck is this about you knocking up Avery?” Smoke was the first to bark.
“What?” Disbelief filled me that she would’ve called my club about this when I’
d said I would take the damn paternity test. What the fuck was she after?
“Avery. Lisa’s waitress. The one who is pregnant and in labor. Why didn’t you tell us you knocked her up? Jesus, you’re gone for a month at a time. If you’d said something, we could’ve been helping her out and looking out for her. And why the fuck aren’t you with her right now?” Straight said with more than a little exasperation.
“I know who the hell Avery is. Why are you asking me about her, is what I want to know? And what do you mean, why am I not with her while she has a kid?” Disbelief heavy in my question, I crossed my arms defensively.
“Is it your kid or not?” Smoke demanded.
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know?” Straight asked snidely.
“I mean I. Don’t. Know.”
“Did you fuck her?” Straight asked bluntly. The bruising on his arm was glaringly visible as he took a hit off a joint while he stared at me, waiting for an answer.
“Yeah, we hooked up, but I haven’t seen her since. At least until a few days ago, and then she started accusing me of knocking her up and being a piece of shit,” I spat. The fact that she’d contacted my club instead of me really pissed me off.
“So you think she’s lying? You’re actually calling that girl a liar? She’s one of the most honest and hardworking women I’ve ever met. Nova has been trying to help her out since she started showing but she refuses. I’ve eaten at that damn diner so many fucking times over the last several months that I want to puke. Do you want to know why?” Smoke roared.
“Geez, bossman. Calm down. You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack,” I said with wide-eyed shock at his vehemence.
“Do not tell me to calm down. That girl has been struggling, and Nova makes us eat there so she can wait on us and we can give her a tip bigger than our bill. Because she won’t accept a handout. Now I hear that it might be your kid. I’m sorry if that pisses me off a little. What kind of person doesn’t take care of the woman he knocked up?” Smoke ground out.
“Well, I didn’t even know she was pregnant! No one told me!” I shouted. My heart was racing, and I was shaking, I was so worked up.
“Look, let’s calm down.” Straight stepped in as the voice of reason and handed his joint off to Smoke, who angrily hit it. “Are you sure you didn’t know?”
After taking a deep breath, I exhaled harshly and ran a distraught hand through my hair. “Fuck yes, I’m sure. I didn’t know. And I have no proof yet of paternity. But I told her I’d happily cooperate with a paternity test, so I don’t know why she called you.”
“She didn’t,” Smoke admitted as he exhaled a small, skunky cloud.
“Then how did you find out about it?” I was confused.
“Lisa called. This is what I’m saying—Lisa swears she wouldn’t lie, and she also said the girl is in labor and she’s terrified. So what I’m telling you to do is go down there and offer up whatever support that woman needs. Take the test. If it’s not yours, then I’ll stand corrected, but if it is, you better bet your sweet ass you’ll be stepping up and doing right by that girl.” Smoke spoke with quiet determination.
“Maybe you don’t know me as well as you thought you did, Smoke. Because I can assure you that if I’m that baby’s father, I’ll do what I can for her and the baby. But if you’re implying that I should marry her because she had my kid, you’re out of your fucking mind.” President or not, if that’s what he was telling me, he could go fuck himself.
“Jesus Christ, Gunny. I didn’t say you had to marry her. Simply do the right thing by her and be a part of that child’s life.” Smoke sighed.
“Of course. But I’m telling you, I wrapped my shit with her,” I insisted.
“They aren’t infallible, you know,” Straight said with a smirk that he tried to cover with his inked-up hand.
“So I hear,” I said flatly as I rolled my eyes.
“Get down to the hospital, and we’ll go from there. Let us know if there’s anything you need.” Smoke concluded our meeting by standing and giving me a tip of his chin.
He’d told me what hospital she was at, but that was all I had to go on.
“I don’t even know her last name,” I admitted.
“Vanstrom.” Smoke handed me the paper he’d written all the info on. I assumed he’d gotten it from Lisa. With a sigh, I took it and stared at it a moment.
“That all you needed?” I asked as I dropped my head.
“Yeah. And be careful out there. You know we still haven’t found out anything about the shit that’s gone down, nor the other guy working with Deacon. We got word that it’s highly possible it’s him that’s responsible for all this other shit too.” My eyes met his. Deacon had been Nova’s ex who had dealt us all kinds of trouble recently. I figured the other guy was long gone, but who knew?
“Roger that. Then I guess I’m out. Later.” I usually would have hugged my brothers goodbye, but I was feeling assholish after our conversation.
Stomping through the clubhouse, I ignored Lock when he called my name.
It didn’t take me long to get the hospital, and it turned out to be a good thing. When I arrived, I had to lie and say I was the dad for them to let me in the room. At least I believed it was a lie. By the time I stepped in the door, her hair was sweaty and plastered to her head, she was tucked up, face scrunched up, and holding on to Lisa’s hand for dear life.
After the contraction ended, she fell back to the pillow in utter exhaustion. Lisa spotted me and gave me an encouraging smile. When I stood awkwardly by the door, she waved me over.
Hesitantly, I moved closer. It was the last place I wanted to be, but I’d told Smoke I’d be there, and I was nothing if not a man of my word. Keeping my eyes averted from her spread legs, I stopped next to her. Not like I hadn’t been all up in there nine months ago, but still, that was way different.
“Lisa, I can’t do this. I think something’s wrong. I’ve been pushing and pushing. Why isn’t he coming out?” Her voice shook, and tears leaked from under her closed lids.
“You’re doing great, Ms. Vanstrom. Everything with the little mister looks good. Don’t worry. It’s your first, and sometimes they are a little stubborn,” the nurse assured her as she looked in my direction. “Hey, Dad! You made it.”
Avery’s eyes registered shock when they opened, and their stormy depths focused on me.
“What the heck are you doing here?” she asked as she panted.
“A little birdie told me you could use some support.” I gave her an encouraging smile as I rested my hand over the one she had clutching the railing. There was no way I was saying that I believed I was the father, because I really wasn’t sure, but my heart did go out to her. I wasn’t a completely unfeeling piece of shit.
Even though I’d sure acted like one the other day. Shame washed over me for the hundredth time for how I’d reacted.
Before I knew it, she was tensing up. The nurses were encouraging her, and her hand flipped from underneath mine to lock with it in an unrelenting grip. “You got this, Avery. Remember, you’re a tough bitch.”
The nurse gave me a shocked look, but Avery grunted as she quietly strained and gritted out, “Damn right!”
It was a letdown when the contraction ended and there was no baby. Then again, I wasn’t sure how the details of all this shit went. As an EMT and volunteer fireman, I’d surprisingly never had to deliver any babies back in Iowa. It had been a small area though. Anyway, reading about it and watching training videos years ago was way different than the actuality of the situation.
“He’s right there. The next one should be the one that gets his head out. Okay?” The doctor was giving her details that started to click from my training. Insanely enough, nervous excitement started creeping in at the thought of a new life entering the world.
What the fuck? Shaking my head, I took the cool rag Lisa handed me and pressed it to Avery’s neck and wiped her forehead. Appreciation lit her face,
and she offered me a tired smile.
“Thank you for being here. I didn’t mean to sound bitchy earlier.” Unlike what I’d seen in movies and heard from other people, she was surprisingly quiet and pleasant. At least considering the fatigue evident in her body language and the pain she was experiencing with each contraction. Oh and how pissed off at me she was the other day.
“It’s okay. You’ve been under a lot of strain. You’re doing really well.” I didn’t know what else to say. What is a guy supposed to say? Good game? Great job? A for effort? Keep up the good work? Hell, I didn’t know.
“Gee, thanks.” She chuckled breathlessly as she spoke.
We didn’t get any more small talk in, because her body tightened up and she leaned forward in the elevated bed. Teeth clenched, her nose wrinkled, and eyes squeezed shut, she followed the staff’s instructions to push.
As she silently struggled, I studied her freckles that I’d forgotten about. “Breathe,” I encouraged, causing her to release the air in her lungs as she strained. Her fingers squeezed mine so tightly, I was losing feeling in them, but I didn’t complain.
“Push, push, push!” the doc encouraged.
It was evident that her pain level had reached a new high, and her eyes popped open, locked on mine, and her brow furrowed. Tears rolled down her cheeks as her face reddened and twisted. A slight whimper escaped her.
“Awesome job, Mom! His head’s out!”
Unable to stop myself, I peeked down to where the doctor was suctioning the baby’s nose and mouth. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea or not, because it totally changed my impression of the vagina. There was absolutely nothing sexual about a small head sticking out of it. Especially when said head had huge eyes staring right at you.
It was unnerving, to say the least.
It was also mind-boggling. To think that she had nurtured a tiny human within her body and was now sending it out into the world was amazing. And a little terrifying.
“One last big push and you’ve got this.” The doctor looked up over Avery’s belly to gauge how she was holding up and offer encouragement. With the next contraction, she bore down and squeezed my hand. Unconsciously, I had been stroking her damp forehead and rubbing her shoulders. When I realized I was doing it, I told myself it was because I felt sorry for her.
Jax and Jokers: A Demented Sons MC Texas Novel Page 5
