Staring at me.
Mocking me.
Calling to me.
“Are you done staring at my boob?” Her words jerked my gaze to her face. Sardonically, she smirked at me.
“Ugh! I wasn’t trying to stare at your fucking tit! But it’s out there staring at me!” My hands waved wildly in her direction.
Laughter burst from her, and I froze at the rich, melodic sound. When she smiled, she looked absolutely stunning. And so much like Raiven that I questioned my sanity at inviting her to stay at my house. But how could I not? Her place was a death trap. It amazed me that I hadn’t noticed it nine months ago. Then again, I was focused on losing myself between her legs back then.
“My boobs don’t have eyes. They have nipples. And they definitely don’t ‘stare’ at anyone.” I groaned when she said the word nipple. Thankfully, she tucked it away, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Whatever you say. You never answered my question. Do you want to move in? We could probably have your stuff moved in a few days.” Glancing around, I noticed she didn’t have a lot of personal items around. It had been dark the last time I was there, so I couldn’t have told you what the place looked like. And again, I was distracted.
“Don’t you work?” she countered. Once again, she hadn’t answered my question.
“You are the most exasperating woman I’ve ever met. Yes, I work.”
“Then how can you be off to pick me up and then move me into your place? Are you a drug dealer?”
“Jesus Christ. No, I’m not a drug dealer.” Well, not exactly. I mean, the club sold weed, but I wouldn’t say that made us drug dealers, per se. We sold in larger quantities for people to do with what they will. We didn’t stand on the street corners and shit.
“Then what do you do?”
“I work on the off-shore rigs. So I’m home for about a month at a time. Gone for the same. I’ve only been home since that night I saw you again at the diner.”
“Oh. That’s right. Lisa did say she thought you worked off-shore.” Her face flamed as she continued to pat Tristan. She was trying to coax another burp out of him but he was out like a light. Part of me really liked that she’d been discussing me with Lisa.
“How about if I take you over to my place and let you check it out? If you don’t get a good vibe or whatever, I’ll do what I can to make your place livable.” What I didn’t say was that may take more time and money than I had at the moment.
Appearing to contemplate my suggestion, she bit her lip. That tiny action made my jeans uncomfortable as fuck, but I held still, though I wanted to adjust myself something fierce. Quietly, I waited for her answer.
“I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” she conceded. Relief filled me.
Not wanting to give her time to change her mind, I walked over and gently picked up Tristan. A strange feeling spread through my chest at his warmth in my arms. He was so small, soft, and fragile. The little blue beanie on his head covered up the peach fuzz that didn’t know what color it wanted to be. His plump cheeks wiggled as he suckled in his sleep, and I fought the need to press my nose into the crook of his neck and inhale.
“I can buckle him in now, if you want.” Her words startled me, I was so absorbed in the tiny human in my arms.
“Uh, I’ve got it.” When I settled him in the seat, he drew his legs up, arched his back, and his little fists reached up to his head. Sufficiently stretched, he relaxed in the seat, and I fastened the straps and buckles the way the nurse had showed us.
Weird how such a simple, mundane task left me feeling like I’d conquered the world.
Avery covered him with a fluffy blue blanket, and I lifted the seat to take him to the truck. “Did you want to grab some things? You know, just in case.”
Seeming undecided, she finally scratched her neck and then nodded. It took her all of five minutes to go to her bedroom and return with a military-style backpack stuffed full. “Ready.”
“That’s it?” I blurted out.
“It’s enough,” she said without elaborating. Hell, most women would have to grab two suitcases, an overnight bag, a massive cosmetic bag, and twenty thousand other items. Shaking my head, I headed outside.
When I reached the truck, I paused. “Are you okay with taking my truck?”
She shrugged and bit her lip again. “Um, yeah. My car is still at the diner.”
It was then that I realized the driveway had been empty when we pulled in. Making a mental note to have someone bring it to my place, I held her elbow as she cautiously made her way down the shitty front steps.
The house was terrible, and I really hoped she’d take me up on my offer. The thought of my son breathing in whatever toxic shit might be floating around the house was enough to give me anxiety.
“Can we stop by the store on the way?” she asked as I buckled Tristan into the back seat.
Once I had the seat clipped into the base, I turned to her. “Of course. Or you can make me a list after you see what I already have. I can run to the store while you take a nap with Tristan.”
She looked exhausted from the little bit we’d done since leaving the hospital. Not that I would point it out, but it was hard to miss. Relief flickered briefly across her face. “Thank you,” she murmured.
Nodding, I cleared my throat. “Since he’s sleeping, do you want to ride up front?”
Staring longingly at our baby, she hesitated.
“If you want to stay back there, it’s okay. It was just an offer,” I said as I shrugged. It seemed strange how I’d easily gone from not even knowing she was pregnant to thinking of him as “our baby.”
“I’ll ride up front. He should be okay.” She sounded much more confident than she seemed.
Once I got her situated, I walked around the truck, trailing my fingertips across the front bumper. A small grin slipped out, because I still believed my Raptor was better than Lock’s. After all, I’d had mine first, and not only was it the Shelby Baja edition, I’d had modifications done to it that made it a big blue beast of a truck.
Hoisting myself up into the cab, I started it, appreciating the rumble of the exhaust. My gaze flickered over to Avery as she tapped out a nervous rhythm on the center console. “Ready?”
Her fingers stopped, and she looked at me. “Yeah.”
It only took about twenty minutes to get from her place to mine on the other edge of town. During the drive, she made more checks over her shoulder at Tristan than I could count. It made me feel good to know she seemed like a pretty good mom so far.
I helped her into the house and sat Tristan on the floor by the couch. He was still sleeping, so I offered to give Avery a tour of the house.
“My bedroom is at this end,” I said as I motioned to the door off the living room. “The kitchen is obviously here, and the laundry room is next to your bathroom, and the other two bedrooms are here, too.”
After she kicked off her shoes, she quietly followed me from room to room. She was looking out the window of the bigger of the two rooms with her arms wrapped around her when I couldn’t stand the silence any longer. “Well, what do you think?”
“This room is big enough for Tristan and me to share. You don’t need to clear out both rooms for us. But are you sure? You don’t even know me, and you’re opening your home to me. What if I’m a psycho bitch or something?” She turned to face me. Curiosity colored her face, and I shoved my hands in my back pockets.
“Well, I guess I should’ve thought of that before I knocked you up. Huh?” I tried to joke to lift the mood.
“About that. Thank you for taking the paternity test. Even though you believed he was your son.” The statement seemed grudgingly given, but I’d take it.
“Of course. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind once I’d seen him. I’m sorry I was a dick to you in the diner the other night.”
She shrugged, which didn’t tell me if she really accepted my apology or was saying she agreed I was a dick. She appeared to be waging some internal battle.
�
�I’m not fucking you!” she suddenly blurted as her face flushed bright red. Standing stock-still, I stared at her.
After blinking a few times, I calmly stated, “I didn’t ask you to. And what was that about cussing around Tristan?”
“I… uh….”
“Don’t worry. I have no intentions of fucking you, Avery. In fact, I won’t even touch you—and that’s a promise.” Though I wouldn’t have been opposed to it if she begged me. In fact, images of her on her knees in front of me flashed through my head. Flickering like an old movie, they made my throat, and jeans, tight as each frame got hotter and hotter.
I cleared said clogged throat. “Anyway, will this be okay?”
“There’s no bed in here,” she murmured with an apologetic glance. “Do you mind if we get an air mattress at the store? I can give you money for it.”
“Um, I can get a bed for you while I’m out. It won’t be new,” I warned. “You can nap in my room until I get back. Why don’t we go through the cupboards and refrigerator so we can make a list?” I offered. She nodded, and I fought tucking the strand of hair back into the messy jumble on top of her head.
After going to the diner my first night back, I’d gone to the grocery store, but there might be things she wanted or needed that I hadn’t grabbed. She made me a list that was surprisingly short, which I tucked into my pocket.
“You still have my number?”
She nodded and chewed on the inside of her cheek.
“Okay. If you think of anything else you need, text or call me.” I crouched by Tristan’s seat to gently run a calloused finger along the curve of his cheek. He amazed me. Swallowing the lump that had risen in my throat, I stood. “I’ll be back.”
Pulling the door shut, I waited to hear the lock engage. Then I blew out a deep breath as I descended the steps. Insane how quickly my life had changed.
Once I’d started my truck, I made the call I’d been dreading. Thirty-one years old, and I was afraid to admit to my mom that I’d fucked up. The phone rang over the speaker as I pulled out of the driveway and headed toward Walmart.
“Jaxon! When are you coming to see us? You haven’t been here since you got home. Dad wants to show you the new colt that was born while you were gone,” my mother gently chastised me.
“About that. Do you and Dad still have that extra bedroom set in the garage? Because if you do, I’ll be by after I run to the store.” Though she couldn’t see me, I cringed, and my face scrunched up.
Silence was my answer. Then she hesitantly spoke. “Yes. What’s wrong with yours?”
“Nothing. But I’m, uh, going to have a roommate.” I cleared my throat. “Or two.”
“I’ll see you soon. Love you” was her answer before she hung up.
Dammit.
Pushing the cart through Walmart, I tossed shit in it as I checked them off the list. As I made my way through the baby aisle, I paused in front of the infant toys. There were so many that caught my eye, but I didn’t know which was the best. So I grabbed one. Then another. And maybe a few more.
Satisfied with my choices, I finished the list and headed to my parents. Trepidation grew the closer I got to their small ranch.
My phone rang with Drew’s name flashing on the screen. “Hey, I got your message.” He was close to getting patched, and he deserved it more than anyone I knew.
“Yeah, can you go pick up a car for me? I want you to look it over, and if it needs any services, take care of it for me.”
“Sure thing, Gunny. Where are the keys?” He didn’t hesitate to do what I asked.
“Lisa at the diner by Nova’s office has a spare set. Tell her Gunny and Avery sent you to get it.”
“Um, okay. Sure thing.” I could tell he wanted to ask me about it but didn’t want to question a patch.
“Thanks. Tell the shop to bill me for it.”
“Gotcha. I’m on it. Anything else?”
“Nope. That’s it. Thanks.” I ended the call and then called Smoke.
“Gunny. You get Avery and the baby settled?” I’d stopped by to talk to him about my plan to help her out financially before I’d picked Avery up from the hospital. Of course he didn’t know I’d asked her to stay at my place. Hell, I had yet to tell anyone else about her and Tristan. Not even my own little brother.
“Yeah. Going to Mom and Dad’s to pick up a bedroom set for her.”
“Wait. What? Bedroom set? For what?” Not that I could see him, but I knew he was sitting straight up after hearing that.
“Well, I may have asked her to stay at my place,” I mumbled.
“You what?” he shouted.
Rolling my eyes, I turned onto my parents’ road. “Her place was a shitpit, Smoke. Not to mention it was completely unsafe. She didn’t even have any food there. There was no way I could let her stay there with a new baby. Especially my fucking baby.”
“Jesus. I hope you know what you’re doing. I told you to do right by her, but I didn’t expect you to take her to your house. So what about your parents? You tell them yet?”
I sighed. “I’m going to in a few minutes. Pulling in now.”
“Oh, shit. Well, if it’s any consolation, I actually believe you’re doing the right thing. Avery is a good girl who’s had a rough time in life.” That was the most he’d really said about her, and it stoked my curiosity.
“Like what?”
“That’s not my story to tell. So I’m guessing you haven’t told Lock either?”
Knowing he’d ask that, I grunted.
“Figures. Well, I’m here if you need me.”
“By the way, Drew is picking up her car to give it a once-over and a service. I told him to have the shop bill me. Is that okay?”
“You know it is. She’s family now, regardless of where y’all stand,” he gruffly confirmed.
“Thanks, Prez. I’ll try to swing by the clubhouse tonight after I know she’s good.” Not that I was thrilled about it. And I really hoped Raiven wouldn’t be there, but since it was Sunday it was likely.
“You can bring them if you want,” he added suggestively.
“Uh, no. I don’t think so.”
“Suit yourself. I’ll see you later.”
“Roger that. Out.” I ended the call as I turned into the driveway.
Horses grazed in the front pasture as I drove toward the house. Nostalgia spread as I remembered growing up racing Lock down the back roads back home in Iowa. Sadie recognized my truck and trotted over to the fence.
Stalling, I put the truck in park and got out to scratch her forehead. As I crooned to her, she snuffled into my chest, and her eyes drooped shut. She was my mare’s last baby before she’d been retired back in Iowa. I’d claimed Sadie as mine the day she hit the ground. It had been two weeks after I’d gotten out of the Marine Corps. I’d been full of anger, fucked-up memories, and straight up hostility. She’d become my savior.
“Hey, pretty girl. We’ll go for a ride next time, but not today. I’ve got a lot of stuff to take care of. Guess what? I have a baby. How’s that for some shit?” She whinnied, and I huffed out a soft laugh. “My thoughts exactly. Be a good girl.”
I kissed her velvety muzzle and got back in the truck. Dad was waiting outside when I parked, so I knew he must’ve seen me coming down the road.
“Stopped to see Sadie, didn’t you?” He grinned at me as I climbed down from my truck, then he spat tobacco on the ground.
With a smirk, I nodded.
“Do I know my boy, or what? Kind of like I can tell you have something on your mind. How about you come out to see the new colt while you tell me about this new roommate I hear about.” It wasn’t really a question, so I shoved my hands in my pockets and followed him out to the barn.
Soft nickers greeted us as we stepped into the dim, cool interior. The smell of hay and horses hit me, and a wave of longing seeped into my bones. I missed this while I was out on the rig.
We both rested our arms on the top of the stall as a pretty little palomi
no colt nursed on Ginger, our red dun mare. “He’s real pretty.”
“Gonna be a good one. Hoping maybe you’ll want to start him. Already imprinted him. He’s a sweet little thing. Good temperament. Unlike his momma.” Dad laughed, and I eyed Ginger’s cantankerous ass. She looked like she was giving us the evil eye. Though beautiful and stout as fuck, she was a grouchy, touchy mare.
“Maybe.” We stood there watching the horses for a few minutes before I gathered the nuts to tell my dad. “Um, so I have a kid.”
He choked and grabbed my arm. “Say what?”
“Yeah, my reaction too,” I replied with a humorless laugh.
“Son. I know I’m getting older and maybe my hearing isn’t so good anymore, but I think you said you have a child.” Brows raised, he stared at me expectantly.
Heaving a heavy sigh, I turned and leaned against the stall. “You heard correct. Trust me, I had no idea until I came back this time and she was pregnant. Went into labor Friday, and I brought her home today.”
“You wanna tell me the rest or should we take this inside so you don’t need to repeat yourself?” Disappointment was written all over his face, and it hurt. My dad’s opinion meant everything to me, and I knew I’d really be letting him down once he heard about how everything happened.
“Might as well go in,” I said as I sighed.
My dad clasped my shoulder, and we walked to the house. As soon as I opened the door, I smelled evidence of Mom’s baking. “Jaxon? That you?” she called from the oven where she was pulling out a tray of cookies.
“Yeah, Mom. Those for me?” I teased.
“Pshh! If you’re good, I’ll let you have a couple, but these are for Presley. Lock is bringing her and Bryson by later.” After she’d put them all on the cooling rack, I snatched a couple, then poured a big glass of cold milk.
“Mom, you may want to sit down.”
Her hand splayed dramatically across her chest. “Jaxon. What did you do?” Worry etched her face, and I once again experienced the joy of feeling like a big pile of crap. Once she was seated and holding my dad’s hand, I leaned back in my chair, cookies abandoned.
“I met this girl,” I began. Mom’s eyes lit up, and I held up a palm to stop her thoughts where they started. “Not like that. I, uh, well, we, uh, it was one night.” Clearing my throat, I spun the glass of milk and avoiding looking at either of my parents.
Jax and Jokers: A Demented Sons MC Texas Novel Page 7
