Then he was gone.
“Rrrrrrgh!” I growled in frustration. Sensing my agitation, Tristan began to fuss. Speaking softly to him, I unfastened his buckles and lifted him from the seat. When he started rooting against my shoulder, I pulled out a blanket and prepared to nurse him.
He’d barely latched on when Gwen came around the corner. “Hey, I was coming out to watch him so you could go in. I didn’t realize the little guy was eating.”
She sat next to me and ran a finger through the fuzzy hair on top of his head that was peeking out. I’d partially covered him, not because I cared if anyone saw me feeding my son, but to prevent some asshole from possibly bitching. I didn’t want to go look for a nursing room, because I didn’t feel like I should have to.
“Do you mind? I guess I should’ve asked before I went and put my hand so close to your boob, huh?” She appeared chagrined, and I laughed.
“I really don’t mind,” I assured her. “So how is he?”
“Grouchy as hell. Doesn’t want to be there.” She smirked and continued to tease Tristan’s fluffy hair.
“You can go back to Styx. You don’t need to stay out here for me.” I gave her a serene smile. She wrinkled her nose and shook her head, causing her strawberry-blonde hair to fan around her shoulders.
“He’s not in there. Styx is pissed, because he’s at work and they’re short staffed so he can’t leave.” I’d forgotten Styx was an ER nurse. “Sorry we didn’t get to make you look fancy. Next week?”
At her eager expression, I chuckled and nodded. “Sure. That’s fine.”
I burped Tristan, switched sides, and burped him again. By the time he was done, he was snoozing away. Gwen snickered.
“Too bad it’s not that easy with a man, huh? When they get grouchy, shove a boob in their mouth and they fall asleep.” She covered her mouth as we both laughed. Tristan slept through it all.
She took him from me, and I went to the room she indicated.
After knocking on the door and hearing someone say to come in, I stepped into the room.
All eyes were on me.
“Hey, gorgeous,” Radar said with a scratchy voice. It may have been a trick of my eyes, but I was pretty sure Gunny stiffened at the endearment.
“Hey.” I didn’t know what else to say. The more I was around Gunny’s brothers, the more I felt like part of their family, yet my discomfort grew. Because Gunny had been treating me like a leper the last few days.
Pasting a smile on my face, I shuffled closer and gave Radar a careful hug. Still Gunny stood on the opposite side of the room and made no move to be near me. Nor did he say a word.
We visited briefly, then I left with the excuse that I needed to feed Tristan. No one needed to know I’d already done it. Rushing to the waiting area, I watched as Gwen looked up with a smile on her face. Tristan was still asleep, snuggled in her arms.
“Did you drive?” I asked her as I twisted my hands together.
“Actually, I did, since Styx was working. Why?”
“Can I get a ride home from you?”
“Um, sure. Does Gunny know you’re leaving?”
“I’ll text him.” I carefully took Tristan and buckled him in his seat. I followed her out to her SUV.
As we drove away, confusion swirled within me. What I wanted battled with what was likely to happen. I was lost in my head most of the way home. Thankfully, she didn’t push the issue.
“I’m going to call you after I talk to Raiven. I have an idea,” she said as I got out of the vehicle.
Pausing halfway out, I looked over my shoulder in confusion. “Okay. Sure.”
Though I should’ve been doing homework, I brought Tristan inside and curled up on the bed to nap with him.
Something told me my earlier analogy was more accurate than I could’ve thought. I really was the moth, and I was destined to get burned.
“Dangerous Night”—Thirty Seconds To Mars
My physical therapy appointments were a fucking bitch. Two weeks in, and I’d made a lot of progress. Unfortunately, though I’d regained some of the use of my fingers, I still had numbness.
Thankfully my entire body didn’t feel like I’d been run over by a goddamn moving truck, but my arm sure did.
“Tell Daddy he did good!” Avery was talking to Tristan and had him waving his hand at me. She’d been both a godsend and a curse during the last two weeks. No matter how many times I pushed her away, she continued to give.
I was weakening. No matter how many times I willed myself to stay strong to protect her, I wanted her. Every time she came close to me, I had to clutch my hand to prevent it from reaching out and grabbing her by the hair and slamming her mouth to mine.
Sweat was dotting across my brow from the exercises they had me do.
Tristan was sitting in Avery’s lap. She’d taken the day off to go with me, and it made me feel like absolute shit, because I’d been a real dick to her. When I’d gone out to the waiting room that day in the hospital with Radar to find her gone, I’d panicked. When I went to call her, I saw the text message from her.
I’d been pissed that she’d gone home alone, but I didn’t say anything. Even though I really wanted to. It was easier if she thought I didn’t care. She’d avoided me the rest of that day and night.
“Mr. Archer, that’s a wrap for today. Great job. You’re showing remarkable progress in just two weeks. It’s obvious you’re doing all the homework exercises I’ve been giving you,” my therapist said with a grin as he pulled me out of my head.
“I want this to be successful,” I replied as I wiped my face with the small towel they provided.
“I like to hear that. Okay, well, we’ll see you on Monday at the same time?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good deal. You all enjoy your weekend.” Hank, my therapist, got up and went to his office briefly before greeting his next client.
“You ready to go?” I asked. She gave me a small smile and nodded.
We drove home and I helped her get Tristan in. We didn’t talk much, but I decided to make an early supper. We had a party at the club tonight. Partly a welcome home party for Radar, and partly a way to blow off steam. The Houston chapter was up for the weekend for a concert they were going to, and we were hosting them. Truth and Slice were going with them to the concert, but I wasn’t feeling it. I’d go to the party and maybe hang out with them tomorrow.
“That smells good.” My head swiveled to look over my shoulder at her. The sweet sound of her voice, coupled with the tight T-shirt and shorts she was wearing, was making my dick hard enough to hammer nails. She was bent over putting Tristan in his baby swing, and the bottom curve of her ass was peeking out of her shorts—calling to me.
Inside, I groaned.
“Thought I’d make something for us to eat. You still going over to Nova’s tonight?” I’d had to clear my throat when my voice cracked at first.
“Yeah,” she said with a bright expression as she stood up. My eyes narrowed at her in suspicion. There was something off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
I dished up the food, and she set the plates on the table. We ate in silence. Once we were done, she jumped up and grabbed my plate before I could. “Thank you,” I said.
“No problem. Thank you for cooking. Um, are you still going to that club party?” she asked as her gray-blue eyes gazed at me, then dropped to the floor.
“Yeah. I probably won’t be late. You want me to drop you off at Nova’s?”
“No, I can drive. But thanks,” she replied, then hesitated. She acted like she had something else to say but then appeared to change her mind. “Okay, have fun,” she said as she took Tristan out of the swing and went to her room. The door closed with a soft click.
“Fuck!” I whisper yelled as I tugged on my hair with one hand.
I got ready and grabbed my cut. I’d be early, but I couldn’t stay in the house. The temptation that was Avery Vanstrom was too much.
When I got out
side, I glanced longingly at the shed. The desire to take my bike was so strong I could taste it. The smell of the exhaust teased my senses even though the doors were closed up tight. My therapist hadn’t given me the okay to ride yet, though. Sighing, I climbed in my truck.
Backing out of the drive, I took one last look at the shed and the house. Then I drove away from the three things I wanted to spend time with more than my brothers at the clubhouse.
Shooter threw an arm around me. “Hey, brother! Long time no see! I hear you’re done out there on the rigs. Sorry about the arm. That must’ve hurt like a motherfucker.”
“Fuck, yeah,” I agreed. We’d been there a few hours, and I’d been nursing my beer for half that time. When it got warm, I pitched it and got another one so no one knew I wasn’t really into being there.
“Well, I got something to help make you feel better,” he said with a sly grin. I laughed at him. He was a little crazy, but the handful of times I’d met him, I really liked him and his crew. The San Antonio chapter ended up coming up last minute, so we had quite a crowd.
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” I chuckled.
“Bunk!” he shouted over his shoulder, then pushed me to sit in one of the chairs at the table near us.
Whooping and cheering preceded a whole lot of skin that stepped around Shooter on the arm of Bunk. She was pretty, with a great, albeit fake, rack. Blonde hair was long and sleek down her back and I should’ve been excited as she stepped close and sat in my lap.
“Lolly here wants to help take your mind off the fact that you can’t ride yet.” Shooter and Bunk laughed. I looked at them and laughed at their ridiculousness. Then my gaze lit on my brothers standing in the group by me as well as across the room by the bar and the pool table.
Truth had his eyes narrowed. The rest looked wary. Smoke was staring at me with his arms crossed and a flat expression.
Bunk handed me a shot, and I took it. Enjoying the burn, I waited for it to hit my stomach. Maybe Lolly was exactly what I needed to flush a certain freckled brunette out of my system. Fuck knew, I’d had the worst case of blue balls for the last few weeks. I’d jacked off in my shower more in that time than I had throughout my teenage years.
Lolly leaned in and trailed her fingers through my beard. I tried to make myself enjoy her. I willed my cock to come to life. Neither of those things happened though.
What did happen was the door opened and silence fell. The only sounds were an occasional cough, the scrape of a chair on the concrete floor, and the sound of AC/DC playing from the jukebox I’d brought down from Iowa with me.
Twisting my upper body to look over my shoulder at who had come in to elicit that response, I froze. The party was open to ol’ ladies if they wanted to come, but none had decided to show up. Nova was pregnant and tired more often than not. Gwen and Raiven had decided to hang with Nova and Avery and have a girls’ night at Smoke and Nova’s.
Except they didn’t. Because standing in the doorway, looking over the room, with gorgeous dark waves, full red lips, soft tits billowing from the top of a tight-fitted vintage dress, was Avery. My mouth fell open, and I sat there like a fucking idiot.
Then rage filled me.
One, because Soho, one of the Houston brothers, moved in on her. Two, I hated seeing her dressed like Raiven. More than I ever thought possible.
But before I could get up and get to her, those smoky eyes lit on me and widened. Hurt filled them, and she spun.
Belatedly, I realized I was still sitting there with fucking Lolly in my lap.
“Shit!” Abruptly, I stood, and Lolly scrambled not to fall on the floor. Everyone was a blur as I pushed through brothers to get to the door. From the corner of my eye, I saw the corner of Smoke’s mouth start to rise. Straight nodded as I passed, and I burst out the door into the humid night.
Frantically searching the lot, I caught a flash of white to my left. Darting through bikes and the few brothers lingering outside, I ran to catch up to her.
“Avery!” I shouted, but she kept walking. “Sonofabitch!” I grumbled as I kept running. I was closing in on her, but she was nearing her car. She stumbled, and my heart stuttered, but she righted herself and glanced over her shoulder. The glisten on her cheeks in the dim glow of the yard light gutted me.
It made me realize that what I’d thought I’d felt for Raiven didn’t hold a candle to what Avery meant to me. I’d been so stupid.
Right as she was reaching for the handle, I skidded to a stop and slammed my hand on the top of the door. She kept her back to me, and I heard a sniffle.
“Let me go, Gunny,” she whispered.
“No.”
“No?” she said as she spun around with an incredulous expression. “No? What the fuck do you want me here for? You obviously had your hands full. I’m terribly sorry to have interrupted. Let me go.” She had started out being snide, but her final words were pleading.
“It’s not what it looked like.” As the words rolled out, I knew they sounded lame, but it was the truth. Caging her in, I had a feeling of déjà vu. That first night, against her car before we went inside.
She snorted out a laugh. “It never is. Is it?”
“Avery. Don’t. Seriously. I don’t even know who she is.” Wrong thing to say, because she huffed in disgust. Wincing, I tried again. “Shooter had literally just had her brought out and dropped her in my lap. I wasn’t going to do anything with her. I swear.”
“Yeah, right,” she scoffed.
“Avery, I swear to you. On my son’s life, I didn’t want her. I’m not gonna lie, for a split second, I considered it. I thought maybe she might be what I needed to get over you, but I didn’t want her. Not my body, not my head. She didn’t compare to you. Didn’t even come close. I can’t get you out of my fucking head. I’ve been trying to because I didn’t want whatever shit is going on to bleed over onto you. The thought of something happening to you like what happened to Radar or Check—” I choked on his name. “—I couldn’t handle it. I thought I was doing the right thing. But I don’t want to be right if it means living my fucking life without you and Tristan in it.”
Tears ran unchecked down her beautiful cheeks. I took a thumb and wiped them gently away.
“I’ve been a fucking idiot, Avery. I’ve denied myself, thinking I was doing the right thing, but I don’t want to anymore. Can you believe me? Forgive me for being a goddamn idiot?” I held my breath as I waited for her answer. If she said no, I didn’t know what I’d do.
Her gorgeous eyes flashed back and forth, searching mine. For what? The truth? Confirmation? I didn’t know.
Finally, she slipped a hand behind my neck and reached up to press her lips to mine. It was like someone lit a fire within me. It consumed me, raging from my toes to my fingertips with desire.
Returning her kiss, I burned for her. It was impossible to get close enough to her. I wanted to be inside her right then and right there. More than breathing, her body wrapped around mine was all that I needed. My left hand tingled as I sifted my fingers through her locks, while my right one clutched her ass.
Lost in an all-consuming need, I was oblivious to our location. Then again, I didn’t really care. Her hands tugged my T-shirt free and slipped up against my skin. Fire roared at her touch, and damn my therapy, fuck the damage I might do to my arm, I hefted her up against the car. Her long legs wrapped around mine, and her hot pussy pressed against my cock.
“Are you wearing panties?” I asked through heaving breaths.
She shook her head.
“Thank fuck.”
Breaking away, I dove into her neck, biting the cords and sending a shiver through her that caused her to arch into me. I lifted her higher so I could trail my tongue through her cleavage. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to do that?” I whispered against her heated skin.
“What?” she gasped.
“Every night when you called me and these tits were on display, I was dying. I had a fucking boner the entire time I talke
d to you.”
She giggled a little.
“You think that’s funny?” I asked with a slight grin as I looked up at her. She sobered and bit her bottom lip. Silent seconds ticked by as she studied me.
“No, not really. I think that’s hot,” she finally said.
I groaned as I dropped my face back into her cleavage. Alternating nips and kisses, I followed the luscious curve of her tits. Impatient, I reached up and untied the strap at her neck. Once I had it loose, I freed her tits and pulled first one nipple, then the other, into my mouth. Her head fell back, and her fingers wound through my hair.
Holding her to my chest, she let out a guttural moan. “Fucking hell,” I muttered as my cock jumped in the tight confines of my jeans. Needing more, I carried her to the hood of her car and laid her back. I didn’t give two shits if the dress got dirty.
“Don’t ever wear this shit again,” I growled. If we’d been at home, I’d have ripped it off her. Surprise had her eyes popping wide open.
“I thought you’d like it. I mean, I look like her…,” she whispered, and faded off in uncertainty. Anger bloomed in my chest.
“You’re not her, and I don’t want you to look like her. I want you to look like you.” My nostrils flared in agitation.
“But—” she started.
“No. It’s you I dream of every goddamn night. It’s you I picture on your knees as I fuck my hand like a fucking teenager. It’s you that I want to lose myself inside,” I insisted as I leaned down and licked the full curve of her tits that bulged above the top of the dress.
Her car was parked at the back of the lot, near the skeletal remains of the wrecked vehicles. We were in the shadows, but anyone could’ve come upon us. Except I didn’t care—part of me wanted everyone to see us.
Wanted them to know she was mine.
Before I could do it myself, she leaned forward and unbuckled my belt. Then she made quick work of unfastening my jeans and freeing my straining cock. Her hand gripped my length tightly, and I sucked in a coarse breath.
Jax and Jokers: A Demented Sons MC Texas Novel Page 19
