by Cat Rambo
“I’m sick of hearing the stories about the before. Sick of people dying,” I tell her.
I’m cracking up.
I don’t want this for us.
She pulls my head down, into her hair. It’s long, tangled, and beautiful. I feel her small, frail body against mine. The rhythmic thud of her heart vibrates against my chest. It’s fast and she’s hot to the touch.
I refuse to cry.
“You should do something about it. Read. You can make things better. I know it,” she says.
I don’t respond. I hold her so tight, I’m sure I’m hurting her. She doesn’t protest. I find her lips and they taste like bleach and decay. She kisses me back. My tongue presses inside her mouth, over her teeth. Her hands clutch my shirt in fists. She pulls so tight that the collar of my shirt hurts the back of my neck.
“Promise me,” she whispers against my lips.
Our foreheads touch and I’m looking at the rosy color of her lips. It’s the only true color in my world.
Behind her is a trunk. In it are scavenged books. Physics, electricity, and mathematic manuals filled to the brim. Among them is a scattering of poetry, for Heather. She tells me that we can fix the world.
Only she’s going to die.
“You have to promise,” she demands.
It was Heather that found me, on the rooftop after my mom died. She decided to name me Hope. Like her, I could read. She says I’m smart enough to make a difference. I’m not, but I let her think it—just as I let her give me a new name.
She makes me want to make a difference.
“You have to.” Her words remind me that I have a role in her life.
She’s almost everything to me, everything but my anger. That’s mine.
“You’ll make me hate you,” I warn her, and it’s the truth. I’ll dream of her. I’ll find women that look like her. I’ll watch them die and beg that every kiss might bring me closer to my knees.
Heather grins. I don’t know how words are enough for her. They’d never be enough for me.
Before she pulls away, I kiss her again.
Her lips are cold.
I jerk back.
They’re gray, the same color as her eyes. My hand grips my dust-covered angel, the statue.
Heather.
About the Author
Beth grew up on front porches, fighting imaginary monsters with sticks, and building castles out of square hay bales. She currently lives in Northeast Georgia with her husband and two dogs. She can be found on twitter: @BethDawkins.
Editor’s Note
There’s a simple elegance to this story that makes it more than slight. The image of the angel has lingered with me for some time now: a quiet, meditative moment. This is a momentary story, a story of regret and not the moment of disaster, but the time after it, a world gone gray and covered with radioactive dust. We don’t know exactly how this world has come to this precipice and fallen over it, but we can certainly guess.
Heather and the protagonist are observers, not doers, watching the world fall away, and unable to change. Luckily for us in the here and now, there are more things to do than simply watch the world fall apart.
The Choices You Make
Sylvia Spruck Wrigley
People whom you have never met are creating laws that you never imagined were needed.
Do you:
assume that there’s a good reason for what they do?
Go to page 3.
ask what the hell they think they are doing?
Go to page 5.
In history class, you used to wonder about all the people who passively stood by while the world changed.
Do you now:
have a better understanding of how that could happen?
Go to page 3.
resolve to be the resistance?
Go to page 7.
Newspapers show reports of civil liberties being infringed but these are dangerous times and you can’t be too careful.
Do you :
express relief that you and your family are safe and sound?
Go to page 3.
put yourself at risk, because protecting civil liberties is more important than any external threat?
Go to page 9.
Your leader has promised that people who follow your church will be given priority for support and benefits.
Do you:
nod in agreement?
Go to page 3.
fight for the rights of everyone, regardless of their religion?
Go to page 11.
The man who lives next door, with whom you have nothing in common, has been detained. You are unable to find out any details as to why.
Do you:
presume that he must have done something wrong or else this wouldn’t be happening?
Go to page 3.
support and defend him?
Go to page 13.
You’ve taken to the streets with your children and your signs and your anger, in hopes of making a difference. This weekend there are more protests, but you are tired and there is so much at home that needs doing.
Do you:
hope someone else will fight the good fight for you?
Go to page 3.
keep showing up?
Go to page 15.
Your government has spiralled completely out of control. The world looks on with shocked dismay. Do you:
leave the country and hope to build a better life somewhere else?
Go to page 3.
stay and hope that one day things will get back to the way they were?
Go to page 3.
You no longer like any of the options available to you.
Do you:
remember how things were and wish you could go back in time?
Go to page 3.
write a better ending?
You’d better start now.
About the Author
Sylvia Spruck Wrigley obsessively writes letters to her mother, her teenage offspring, her accountant, as well as to unknown beings in outer space. Only her mother admits to reading them. Born in Heidelberg, she spent her childhood in California and now lives in Estonia. Her fiction was nominated for a Nebula in 2014 and her short stories have been translated into over a dozen languages. Her latest publication is Without a Trace, a non-fiction book exploring aviation mysteries. You can find out more about her at http://intrigue.co.uk.
Editor’s Note
I’ve seen a number of stories based on the old CYOA books go by in my time, and this is one of my favorites because it does something few of them do: break the fourth wall and directly address the reader, asking them to make the choice.
Wrigley’s piece gets at the heart of this anthology’s intent. Terrible things are happening. America is being dismantled and sold off, piece by piece, to the rich. Will you sit by or will you choose to do something? The fate of our country lies in our hands. Our would-be dictators wouldn’t be working so hard to take away people’s voting rights if they didn’t find them a threat. Exercise the power that is yours. Vote, and when you’re done voting, help others get to the polls so they can be heard.
A Word From Parvus Press
www.ParvusPress.com
Thank you for choosing a Parvus title and supporting independent publishing. If you loved IF THIS GOES ON, your review on Goodreads or your favorite retailer’s website is the best way to support this book. Reviews are the lifeblood of the independent press.
Also, we love to hear from our readers and to know how you enjoyed our books. Reach us on our website, engage with us on Twitter (@ParvusPress) or reach out directly to the publisher via email: [email protected]. Yes, that’s his real email. We aren’t kidding when we say we’re dedicated to our readers.
&n
bsp; On our website, you can also sign up for our mailing list to win free books, get an early look at upcoming releases, and follow our growing family of authors.
Thanks for being Parvus People,
—The Parvus Press Team
Acknowledgements
This project would not have been possible without the support of our Kickstarter backers, whose early confidence in If This Goes On helped us bring these thirty stories together. From all of us here at Parvus Press, and on behalf of Cat Rambo and our contributors, we would like to thank:
A.J. Bohne
Abram Fox
Adam Israel&Andrea Redman
Adam W. Roy
Adrian Ray Avalani
Adrienne Ou
Alan & Jeremy Vs Science Fiction podcast
Alex Iantaffi
Amanda Ching
Andrew Hatchell
andrew smith
Ane-Marte Mortensen
Angela Beske
anne m. gibson
Annie
anon
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anthony R. Cardno
Anthony Storms Akins
Ari D Jordon
Armond Netherly
Ashley
Barbara Shaurette
Benedict Hall
Beth Kingsley
Bishop O’Connell
BloomKnitter
Bobbi Boyd
Bonnie Warford
Brad Goupil
Brendan Coffey
Brian Calvary
Brian D Lambert
Brian P Coppola
Bryan Feir
Bryce
Cale Millberry
Carly Ho
Carol Cooper
Cathy Green
Christen Lee
[email protected]
Cory Doctorow
Craig Schieve
Crossed Genres Publications
Curtis Frye
Curtis Jewell
Cyd Athens
D Franklin
Dagmar Baumann
Darren Radford
Dave Kochbeck
David Cooper
David Cooper
Don
Doug Levandowski
Dr. Jobo
Dr. MJ Hardman
Duncan Keefe
E. H. Welch
Elizabeth Sweeny
Ellie Curran
Eric Smith
Erica “Vulpinfox” Schmitt
Erik W. Charles
Erin Himrod
Eugene Ramos
Fearlessleader
Frank Nissen
Gail Grigsby
[email protected]
Gary Rodriguez
[email protected]
Gene Breshears
Geoffrey Lehr
George Sarantopoulos
Glori Medina
GMarkC
Guy D’Alesio
Hannah C Brown
[email protected]
Howard J. Bampton
Hutch
I. Carolyn Shaw
Ian Carmen
J&J Productions
Jae Lerer
James Allenspach
James Lucas
James Mason
James Reston
Jason Burchfield
Jeff Soesbe
Jeffery Reynolds
Jen Myers
Jenn Scott
Jennifer L. Smith
Jeremy Brett
Jim Cavera
Jim Rittenhouse
John A. McColley
John Appel
John Simpson
John Winkelman
Jonathan Maher
Jorden K
Josh
Josh Horowitz
Joshua H.
K Bowers
K.G.
Kai Jones
KawaiYokai
Kerry aka Trouble
Kevin J. “Womzilla” Maroney
Kristin Cook
Kristin Evenson Hirst
Kyle Dippery
L Brackney
Lamont Alexander
Landy Manderson
Larry Clough
Leonie Duane
Linda Smit Poche
Lindsay Watt
Liz. T.
Lowell Wann
Luhelf
luke iseman
Luke Von Rose
Lynn Cornelius
Lynne Everett
Marcus Sparks
Mareth Griffith
Mark Carter
Matt Andrysiak
MB Abbott
mdtommyd
Melissa Shumake
Michael Casolary
Michael Fenton
Michael Hanscom
Michele R.
Michelle Fredette
Michelle Matel
Miri Baker
Morva Bowman
Natasha R Chisdes
Nephele Tempest
No name, thanks.
Nova C
[email protected]
Pamela Sedgwick-Barker
Parris
Paul Cardullo
Paul Fitzpatrick
Paul T Plale
Peter Lougee
Pip Coen
R J Theodore
R. B. Wood
Rebecca Stefoff
Rhel
RKBookman
Rob Szarka
Robert
Robert V. Hill
Robinson JonMoore
Rolf Laun
Ronald
Ross Story
S. R. Algernon
Sal and Aidan
Sara Tantillo
Sarah J. Berner
Sasha D.
Scott Macauley
Seth Ellis
Shawn Hudson
Shel Graves
Shirley Monroe
Skyboat
st.jackson
Stephen Ballentine
Stephen Murrell
Steve Coltrin
[email protected]
Steven desJardins
Steven Schwartz
Suzanne Paterno
Tasha Turner
Ted Rochford
Teri
Terra LeMay
The Coyle Family
Tim Fiester
TJ Heikkinen
Tony Noble
Victoria Preuss
[email protected]
Vivian Perry
Wes Crenshaw
Yossef Mendelssohn
Zander
Zip
