by Sadie Bosque
Lavinia scooted closer to her, and Annalise looked down, feeling hesitant. “Well, it’s been odd,” she said before looking up. “He… The first night home, he asked if we could have a proper marriage, the one we should have had from the start. A loving, trusting relationship. Basically, to start from the beginning.”
“He did? What did you say?” Lavinia turned more fully toward her friend, giving her full attention, and Annalise relaxed, happy to unburden herself.
“What could I have said? I said I didn’t think it possible.” She huffed a breath. “Then he asked me to give him just one more chance. Another two months to try to win me back and dispel all the society gossip at the same time. If by that time, I still maintained that our marriage had failed, I’d be free to go to Sussex and settle down there by myself. Just like I had planned before, only with an allowance from him.”
“He said that? He’d let you go if you so wished?”
Annalise nodded. “All I have to do is give him two months to make things right.” She shrugged and looked away.
“And will you?”
“I don’t know. I said I’d give him a chance, but I am not certain I want to. Every time he is near, my entire body tingles. My senses are heightened around him. I see clearer; the world is brighter, I feel lighter, I… I think I’m still in love with him.”
Lavinia bit her lip. “You can’t force your heart to feel differently, dear.”
“My heart is an idiot.” Annalise gave a huff and stood. She started pacing in front of her friend. “How many times does he have to let me down for my heart to finally realize that he’s not safe?”
“Is he not?”
Annalise halted and rounded on her friend.
Lavinia grimaced. “I just mean… It’s been a long time. Perhaps he has changed.”
“That’s the most frustrating part!” Annalise cried. “I do not know. And he doesn’t say where he’s been or what he’s been through. He seems different, feels different. You know how he was, always drunk, always away. Now he just looks… haunted.”
“Haunted?”
Annalise nodded and returned to her seat. “He absolutely refuses to talk about the past… Which, of course, means he hasn’t asked about mine either. He doesn’t even mention Kensington anymore, apart from the one time when he’d just woken up.”
Lavinia grimaced and placed her hand on Annalise’s. “Does that mean you haven’t told him?” she asked softly.
Annalise’s smile turned bitter. “No, dear. I don’t think I can. I don’t think it would make a difference either.”
Lavinia licked her lips. “Perhaps, you can use this two-month reconciliation to your advantage. I know you still want children. I also know you need Blake’s help with that. I cannot imagine how you feel being around him again, but if he’s insisting on spending time together, perhaps you can gain something from it, too. If you leave two months later, it could be with a babe in your belly.”
At that moment, the maids came in with the trays of food, and Lavinia’s eyes lit up.
Her friend’s distraction let her wallow in her own thoughts for a bit. It’s not like she hadn’t thought about a babe. She wanted to have one badly. But being alone, isolated in Sussex, with a growing belly… She didn’t know how she felt about that. The thought just gave her a headache.
When the trays were settled between them and they armed themselves with brioches and a cup of tea, Lavinia spoke again. “There’s actually something else I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Oh?” Annalise raised a brow behind her teacup as she sipped her tea.
“Since you are not marrying Dane anymore….”
Annalise put her cup down with a clink. “No,” she said in disbelief.
Lavinia looked away. “I just mean… He is free, right?”
“Lavinia!” Annalise’s mouth fell open a notch. “Didn’t you tell me that you were done with the girlish infatuation? That you were never truly in love with him? I would never have accepted his proposal if it weren’t so!”
“And that is exactly why I told you all that.”
Annalise’s eyes watered, and her throat started to smart. “Lavinia, dear. Please, tell me you didn’t talk the man you’re in love with into marrying me!”
“I didn’t talk him into anything, I just mentioned your predicament, and he was the one who came to the rightful decision.”
Annalise stared at Lavinia, frozen with her eyes wide and her mouth half-open.
When Blake had disappeared, Annalise was left alone, destitute, desperate, and… in a delicate condition. She’d just found that out a day after Blake’s disappearance, and a few days later, she told Lavinia about her woes. The next day marked the first time Kensington had proposed to her.
It wasn’t exactly a proposal. He said he would be willing to look after her and the babe, whatever may come. And if Blake didn’t return, he would be willing to take her as a wife. Annalise had been rendered mute. The last thing she could think about at that time was being married again. Her first marriage had barely begun and had caused her nothing but pain. But she also held out hope that Blake would be back and that the babe would bring them closer together.
Annalise swallowed. What had happened next was too horrible to think about. She’d lost those dreams on the day Blake’s signet ring arrived with the missive denoting his death.
“Dear.” Lavinia’s voice brought Annalise back from her dark memories. “At the time, you needed a friend, a strong and powerful friend.”
Lavinia was right. In a day, she became a widow without a stipend, as Blake had not arranged for one. Her parents would not take her back, she knew. She would have died on the streets, alone. And in the state of mind she was in, she wouldn’t even have minded that.
But everything had turned out differently. Blake’s heir, Townsend, had sheltered her and made certain she would want for nothing. Kensington had shielded her with his protection. And apparently, her best friend had given up the man she’d loved her entire life for her.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Annalise said with a frown.
“Well, I knew he wouldn’t marry me, anyway. It was a useless dream to hold on to. Besides, I love you both. And I would rather see you two together.”
Annalise didn’t know what to say. At that time, she had been too wrapped up with her own problems to recognize what Lavinia was doing. Now it all made a lot more sense.
“Well, moving on from that,” Lavinia continued. “Now that Kensington is free, and he still needs a duchess… I just thought that maybe… Oh, I don’t know. Do you think if I went to him and asked him to take me as his wife, he’d agree?”
Annalise almost spewed the tea out of her mouth. “You want to go to him and ask for his hand in marriage?”
“Well, he is not going to ask me. I might as well seize the opportunity. I did it for you, and it worked.”
Annalise bit her lower lip and placed her cup delicately on the table. “Is that really what you want, Lavinia? He does not love you. Not the way you love him. And as much as it might hurt, can you imagine how much harder it would be to live with him all your life knowing that he will never love you back?”
Lavinia sank deeper into the settee. “You don’t know that. He can grow to love me.”
Annalise’s gaze ran all over the room, not finding a place to rest. She sympathized with her friend. But Kensington had known Lavinia most of his life, and if he didn’t love her now, would he ever?
“Lavinia,” she said at last. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. You deserve a man who will appreciate that he has you, not someone who will look upon you as a duty.”
“You were ready to marry him,” Lavinia grumbled.
“Yes, but I was content with a loveless marriage, and I don’t think that’s what you want. I don’t think you’re ready for the type of heartbreak that comes with living with a person who doesn’t love you back.” Annalise didn’t mean to sound bitter, but that’s exactly how the
words came out.
Lavinia lowered her eyes. “I apologize. You have your own problems to worry about, and here I am dumping my issues on you.”
“Oh, no, Lavinia, please. Never think that. We’ve been friends all our lives, and your problems are never and will never be less important to me than mine.”
“Thank you, dear.” Lavinia placed her hand on top of Annalise’s and squeezed it lightly.
“You don’t have to thank me for loving you, dear.” Annalise smiled sadly. “And you deserve a husband who feels the same.”
“But what should I do?” Lavinia stood abruptly and started pacing the floor. “It’s not like I have a bevy of suitors lining up to take my hand. And even if they were, I wouldn’t want them to.” She looked at Annalise with such a naked plea in her eyes that her heart squeezed.
“All right, if you’re that sure that there can be no one else but Dane, then I shall help you,” she said and nodded resolutely.
“You will?”
“Yes, but there will be no talk of deals and loveless marriages. If we are to make Dane your husband, we are to make him fall in love with you.” Lavinia gave a snort. “No, none of that. You are beautiful and bright and exuberant, and only a fool wouldn’t fall in love with you.”
“Then every man in the country is a fool.”
“Quite possibly.” Annalise grinned at her friend. “But Kensington is no fool. He’s just so used to thinking of you as his little sister that he doesn’t see you as his prospective wife. What we need to do is to make him aware of you in another light. And I just know how we can do that.”
“You do? How?”
Annalise stood and walked toward Lavinia, studying her from head to toe. A debutante’s light colors didn’t flatter Lavinia’s complexion. She was pale with light brown hair, and she seemed to blend in with the light clothing. She was also round and curvy, and all the ruffles just made her look so much bigger.
“First thing we need to do is order you the most fetching gown,” Annalise said. “In fact, Caroline is taking Olivia to her modiste on the morrow. We should join them.”
“She is? How come? I thought Olivia despised fashionable clothing and had her special modiste.”
“Well, yes. But she revealed she is ready to change her mind. Apparently, she fancies a gentleman and wants to catch his eye.”
“Who?” Lavinia’s mouth dropped open.
“I do not know. She didn’t tell us. But this would be a good first step for you, too. In order for Kensington to start seeing you as a woman, you need to dress and act like a woman around him. We’ll start with the ball. I shall trick Kensington into dancing with you, and we’ll keep throwing the two of you together during all the other social events. I am sure he won’t be able to resist your feminine charms.”
Lavinia grimaced in uncertainty. “I don’t think I have any charms.”
Annalise smiled. “Trust me, you do.”
* * *
Blake had been in a dark mood ever since Annalise had returned his signet ring. It carried all the memories with it, both before his disappearance and after. His foul mood followed him for a few days, and he hadn’t been the most attentive of husbands because of it. He needed to change that. He’d promised to court her again, and he needed to do just that.
While Annalise was entertaining visitors, he sprigged the carriage and went to the florist. He spent an extravagant sum on Annalise’s surprise and settled against the carriage seats with a happy grin on his face. Annalise wouldn’t be free from her obligations yet, so there was no hurry to return. Instead, he decided to follow up on one of his leads regarding his disappearance.
A few moments later, he was admitted into a spacious drawing room, filled with pink and orange furniture and wallpaper. He scoffed, looking around. Was he even in the right place?
“Don’t scoff at my mother’s decorations,” the duke said in a gravelly voice from behind him. “She loved this room.”
Blake whirled around and stared right into the frosty gray eyes of the Duke of Kensington. “I didn’t hear you come in,” he said, eyeing the man curiously.
“You were too absorbed with your surroundings, I believe.” Kensington indicated the wallpaper, and Blake just raised a brow. “Would you like some tea? Biscuits perhaps? I hear my cook bakes the most splendid biscuits, although I’ve never tried one, and they always go to waste.”
“A pity,” Blake said dryly. “However, this is not a social call.”
“How peculiar.” Kensington frowned but indicated a couple of chairs by the window. They settled into too-small chairs on either side of a tiny decorative table, looking like a couple of giants. Blake squirmed uncomfortably, but the duke sat still, watching him like a predator, waiting for his prey.
“Let’s get right to business then,” the duke said calmly. “What brings you here if not social niceties?”
This was it. He needed to be very careful to get the truth out of the cunning duke. Blake was certain Kensington was not about to spill the beans regarding his involvement with either Annalise or his capture. How he approached this could cost him the truth.
“Well, first off, I’d like to offer my sympathies since you’ve lost a duchess to your dukedom.” Blake watched Kensington for any reaction, but the man just looked at him, his eyes hard. “It must have been difficult, planning everything for so long and then to have it all fall apart just before the betrothal announcement could be made.”
“The betrothal announcement had been made. Just a moment before you sauntered into the ballroom,” Kensington said dryly. “Nevertheless, it was no hardship, really. As long as Annalise is happy, no harm was done.”
“Lady Payne,” Blake gritted through his teeth.
Something about the duke’s choice of words didn’t sit right with Blake. Did Kensington know how unhappy Annalise had been in their marriage prior to Blake’s disappearance? Had she confided in him? The thought sent a wave of rage through his body, but he kept himself under control.
“When did you propose to her?” he asked instead.
The duke raised his brow. “Didn’t she tell you? Or have you not discussed that part?”
“We didn’t do a lot of… talking.” Blake deliberately made it sound like an innuendo. There was no way he was admitting his true state of marriage to a pompous duke.
“Ah,” was all he said.
“So? When was it?”
Kensington eyed him curiously. “And why do you want to know?”
“Why won’t you answer me?” Blake raised his eyebrow in return.
The duke let out a short sniff. “About a sennight after your disappearance.”
Blake had not expected that answer. In fact, he wasn’t sure what he was hoping to hear, but whatever it was, it was not this. “A sennight?” he repeated, outraged. “Seven bloody days?”
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to accomplish with these questions, Payne. More to the point, why you won’t ask your wife? They are innocuous enough.” He narrowed his eyes for a moment and then sat back. “Unless you are not speaking to one another. Now that would be curious, wouldn’t it? It would explain your jealousy.” He smoothed his cravat and looked out the window, seemingly bored.
“My marriage with Annalise is none of your business. Your hasty proposal, however, makes you a prime suspect in my disappearance.”
The duke let out a hoarse laugh. Not a joyous one. It was bitter and angry.
“How dare you?” Kensington finally gritted out.
“How dare I?”
“Yes, Annalise was—”
“It’s Lady Payne to you!” Blake’s fist came down on the table with a loud thump.
Kensington observed him dispassionately, then frowned. “You don’t know, do you?”
“I don’t know what?” Blake asked irritably.
“The reason—the main reason I proposed.”
“If I knew, would I be here?” Blake breathed heavily, fisting his hands, forcing them to stay at h
is sides.
The duke eyed him silently for a moment. “Annalise,” he finally said, “was beside herself with worry, not only because of your disappearance but because you left her nothing. Your heir had managed to scrounge up a small stipend for her and kept her under his roof, but she didn’t want to exploit his generosity.”
“Exploit?” Blake shot up in rage. “She is a countess!” His rage wasn’t aimed at the duke, however. He was angry at himself.
“Was a countess,” Kensington said in a quiet but hard tone. “The moment you disappeared, she was a penniless widow with no home of her own, no capital, no one to look out for her. And I, as her family friend, took it upon myself to make it my responsibility to her family, to you, to look after your wife.” There was a long pause. “Anything else, you’ll have to ask your wife. But don’t you dare accuse me of such a thing again.”
Blake was seething with anger. His face was hot, his breathing erratic. He closed his eyes to keep himself under control. The worst part of this conversation had been the fact that the duke was right. When gentlemen inherited the title, the first thing they did was put their affairs in order, draft out their wills.
But his father had died suddenly and unexpectedly less than a fortnight after Blake’s wedding, having prepared Blake for nothing. Not that Blake had any interest in upholding his responsibilities. He was having too much fun drinking, wagering, and meandering around. He kept his meetings with stewards to just remind them to do things as they’ve always done. And as for Annalise—
Blake opened his eyes and looked Kensington squarely in the eyes. The duke wasn’t one to hide his gaze. His face was impassive, his breathing even; he didn’t fidget or move; he just sat there, still like a statue.
“I suppose I owe you my apology,” Blake forced out finally. “And my gratitude.”
“I want neither of those things.” Kensington’s voice was hard. “Just make sure to put your affairs in order before you disappear….” He paused. “Again.”
Blake cast a curious eye the duke’s way. His warning sounded almost like a threat. But perhaps it was just the way the aristocrat spoke.
Blake nodded and was about to leave before turning back to the duke. “So that was it then? That was the main reason you married Annalise? You didn’t need a wife; you just wanted to protect her?”
