No matter what sweet things Will said or did, he couldn’t take it back. He had broken the magic they’d spent a lifetime building for a few hormone and booze fueled moments with Liz. Maybe more than a few.
But it didn’t matter. Liz had punched Will’s V-card and that meant he’d compare everyone to her for the rest of his life. Emma couldn’t deal with that. She could barely stand competing for popularity with Liz in the halls of St. James. She damn sure wasn’t going to compete with her between the sheets. Especially not when Liz bragged about all the hours she clocked on her back.
He made a mistake, Emma’s conscience chided. Everyone’s entitled to a bad choice here and there. But bad choices were acid wash jeans, not bedding Liz Vanderveer in Cranston’s closet after he’d asked Emma to the formal. Emma choked on her tears as her emotions warred against each other. She wasn’t perfect. She knew people made mistakes and she wasn’t above forgiving them. But this felt like a stain on her soul that only a miracle or a time machine could erase.
Emma managed to pull herself together long enough to shower and get ready for bed even though it was barely seven o’clock. She’d told Tara she wasn’t hungry when she’d knocked on the bathroom door saying she was ordering in for dinner for Colin, so Emma was surprised to find a large brown takeout bag on the kitchen counter with her name on it. There was a note next to it.
Emma, I’m meeting Teddy for dinner. Colin already ate and is in bed. He had a wonderful time with you today. Thank you for taking him out. I wanted to make sure you had dinner tonight, but I don’t know what you like, so I ordered a little of everything. Enjoy. – Tara
Emma peered inside to see half the menu from Café China inside. Grateful, she pulled out a few of the square white boxes and dished the piping hot rice noodles, sesame chicken and stir-fried vegetables onto a plate before smothering it with coconut curry sauce.
She sat down on the couch and devoured her meal, not realizing how hungry she’d been. She was emotionally drained and somehow the food filled her with a tiny bit of comfort. After cleaning up the kitchen, Emma settled in on her makeshift couch bed and told Penelope to play a Christmas movie. She flipped threw a few before settling on ‘Elf.’ It always made her laugh and she could use as much happiness as she could get at the moment.
It seemed Colin was a fan of the movie too, because he came running out of his bedroom when he recognized the soundtrack. He paused when he saw Emma, making Hodor crash into the back of him.
“Hi, Emma,” Colin said brightly. “Are you watching Elf?”
“Yep.”
His little cheeks curled into perfect pink circles as he grinned. “That’s my favorite Christmas movie.”
“It’s a good one,” Emma replied. “Do you want to watch it with me?”
“Can I?” he asked sounding surprised.
“Sure,” she said pulling her knees to her chest to make room for him on the couch.
Colin didn’t hesitate a moment. He bounded onto the couch, calling Hodor up too. Colin looked up at Emma like he just realized maybe she would be mad about the dog on the furniture. “Sometimes I let Hodor on the couch when Mom and Dad aren’t here,” he whispered. “Don’t tell, okay?”
Emma couldn’t help herself, she smirked at his serious tone, nodding that she would keep his secret.
The three of them settled in to watch the movie. Halfway through, Colin snuggled up next to Emma. His eyes were drowsy and kept blinking closed.
“Do you want to go to bed?” she asked.
“No. I’m not tired,” he said stifling a yawn. “I want to hang out with you.”
Emma smiled and pulled the blanket up over Colin’s little shoulders, making Hodor groan and flop onto his side. She shook her head at the lazy dog taking up half the couch, but she couldn’t deny he was a good foot warmer as she wiggled her toes further under his glossy coat.
“Emma?” Colin murmured.
“Huh?”
“Are you still mad at Will?”
Emma’s heart tightened. Will. For about five minutes she’d managed not to think about him. But hearing Colin mention his name was like an icicle to the chest.
“I’m not mad anymore,” she said. “Just sad.”
“I don’t want you to be sad.”
“Me either,” Emma admitted.
“When I’m sad, I let Hodor sleep with me. He always makes me feel better.”
Emma looked at the drowsy dog sprawled across her feet. He did have a calming presence. Colin looked at the dog too, chewing his lip like he was deciding something. Then he turned to Emma. “If you want . . . Hodor can sleep with you.”
There was so much hope in Colin’s voice that Emma’s throat was suddenly tight. She pulled the little boy closer, hugging him tight as tears pricked the corners of her eyes. How had she almost missed bonding with this kid? He was sort of awesome, and the sad part was, Emma had Will to thank for their new found friendship.
She was a mess of emotions as she whispered. “Thanks, buddy. That’s really nice of you.”
“You’re welcome,” Colin murmured, his voice sleepy again.
28
Will
Will spent half the night at the gym punishing himself on the treadmill and in the weight room after his conversation with Emma. If nothing else, at least his lacrosse coach wouldn’t be able to ride his ass for slacking over the holidays. Ever since Emma showed up in New York, Will had been hitting the gym extra hard. It was his only outlet for his pent up frustrations over her. The girl was driving him insane and she had no idea.
Emma was a total smoke show. She’d always been. And maybe it was because he hadn’t seen her in a while or because he knew she was sleeping just down the hall from him, but Will hadn’t had a good night’s rest since she arrived. And when he did manage to sleep, Emma haunted his dreams, filling them with tantalizing illusions of kissing her perfect lips or tracing her rose petal skin.
Just that morning Will had woken from a dream so real he swore his skin felt scorched from Emma’s touch. He’d had to start the day with a cold shower. Will could hardly believe it was still the same day. How had things gone so wrong?
He’d planned the perfect date for he and Emma to help her get to know Colin, all the while showing her everything there was to love about New York, and about him. Will had been sure if he could help her remember how great things used to be when they were together they could get back there—to that place they were when everything was perfect. When they were Emma and Will. When he never could’ve imagined her not in his life. He just wanted to go back to how things were before she left. But Emma had made it clear that wasn’t going to happen. Will upped the speed on his treadmill, trying to outrun the reality of Emma’s harsh words, but in the end he walked home feeling broken and alone.
After exercising his demons at the gym, Will chucked his gym bag in his bedroom and took his second cold shower of the day, wondering how things had gone from a dream to a nightmare in the span of a few hours. He was still way too wound up to go to bed despite it being nearly midnight, so he turned to his first love—the classics. But even Will’s old black and white films couldn’t bring him any comfort. They only reminded him that he used to watch them with Emma and it made him miss her more.
It was infuriating knowing she was next door and there was nothing he could do about it. It was taking all his willpower not to march to her apartment and drag her back into the hall to finish their conversation, because it wasn’t over. It couldn’t be over.
Will wanted to fight for her. And he’d seen that spark in her eyes when they’d been in the park. His mind flashed back to their perfect day. Her laughter ringing out as he chased her with snowballs. How she’d held onto him on the ice. The warmth of her next to him in the carriage. The way their eyes met across the room. He hadn’t imagined it. And if only to prove it to himself, Will switched off ‘Casablanca’ and flipped opened his laptop. He’d uploaded the videos he’d stealthily taken throughout the day.
Proofing the clips, Will paused at certain intervals to memorize the stolen moments between him and Emma. They were there. Every last one of them. And that only made him even more upset. How could she feel the way he did and not want to fight for it?
So what if she lived in Boston and he was in New York? They were only a few hours apart. And in a few short months they’d be graduating and could go anywhere. There were great film schools in Boston. And there wasn’t anywhere better for fashion than New York. They could make it work.
Will had always thought that Emma would come back to the city for college. That had been her plan since she went to her first Fashion Week in fifth grade. She’d come back and told him she wanted to go to Parsons and open up her own design studio in the garment district. And Will was perfectly happy with that plan because he planned to stay in the city too and go to Columbia. He didn’t have a choice since his parents and brothers were all distinguished alumni. But Columbia had a great film program and all that mattered was that he and Emma would be together.
His chest felt tight as he realized a major flaw in his plan. Will had mapped out his entire future without ever telling Emma the most important part. That he wanted her in it. That she was his future—the axis around which his universe rotated. God, how had he let that happen?
He suddenly felt ridiculous for having been too afraid of losing her to admit that he was in love with her. Because he absolutely was. And look where trying to deny it had gotten him. He’d kept his stupid mouth shut and lost her anyway. And right now nothing was more terrifying.
“I’m not giving up,” Will muttered to himself. It wasn’t over yet. He had to believe he still had a chance. He may not agree with his parents’ choices most of the time, but he had learned one thing from them. Go after what you want one hundred percent or not at all. Emma was what Will wanted. And he wouldn’t quit until she believed him.
29
Will
Will rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock again. It couldn’t be eight in the morning already. He hadn’t even slept. But then again, he knew sleep wasn’t an option. Not with so much on the line. He ejected the jump drive and shut his laptop, praying what he’d done would be enough. He wrote Emma’s name on a small cream envelope and slipped the tiny jump drive inside. He added the note he’d written, sealing it with a prayer that he could get through to her.
Emma
Emma stirred slowly, the watery morning light spilling into the living room. She heard a faint snoring and bit her lip to keep from laughing when she located the source. Hodor was sprawled across her legs snoring contently, while Colin was curled up half on top of the dog and half in Emma’s lap. She tried to move her legs but they were asleep. When she finally managed to dislodge one, Hodor’s chocolaty eyes snapped open and his tail began to thump against the couch.
“Mom?” Colin murmured groggily.
“It’s just me, buddy. Go back to sleep,” she whispered slipping out from beneath him.
He happily obliged as she covered him back up with the warm blanket. Hodor gladly nestled on top of it, too. Emma scratched his soft head affectionately. Colin was right—the dog really did make her feel better. And she’d slept great considering she’d been sharing a couch that looked more like an art exhibit than furniture with a seven-year-old and a giant dog.
Fighting the pins and needles in her legs, Emma padded barefoot across the cold white marble floor to the guest bathroom. She sighed gratefully when she noticed someone had turned on the heated floors in there. She washed her face and brushed her teeth, frowning as she examined the pale purple shadows beneath her eyes. The stress of the past few days had definitely taken its toll. She swept her hair up into a messy bun and applied her favorite pale lip gloss and mascara, pinching her cheeks to get a little color in them. She forced a smile at her barely improved reflection. “Good enough,” she muttered.
Emma didn’t know why she was bothering. It’s not like she had anyone to impress. There were only two days until Christmas; three until she returned to Boston. She hadn’t seen her father since she arrived, and Tara was scarcely around . . . not that Emma was eager to spend time with her mother’s replacement. But besides Colin, Emma could go the rest of her time in New York without seeing another friendly face. Will was definitely excluded from that category after last night.
Just the thought of him sent a spike of pain through her chest. God, why couldn’t she just get over him? She’d thought she’d moved on until she came back to New York. Would it always be like this? Would she stare longingly down the hall to his apartment wondering what might have been every time she came to visit her father? That is, if she came to visit her father at all after this trip. So far her father had done a pretty good job at showing Emma having her in his life wasn’t a priority.
She sighed trying to push her depressing thoughts away. She was over feeling sorry for herself. She still had a few days left in the city and she was determined to make the most of them. She’d made a mental list of all the things she missed about New York on the train ride from Boston. The food, the fashion, her friends. Okay so maybe friends were off the table . . . But that didn’t mean she couldn’t still take in the sights and savor some of her favorite cuisine. Besides, she still had to make her decision on where she wanted to go to college. So far, Boston was the clear front runner. But Emma was having a hard time letting go of New York.
There was a knock on the bathroom door and Emma cracked it open to see Colin grinning at her. He thrust an envelope into her hand. “You got a present,” he sang in an excited voice.
Emma took one look at her name printed neatly across the cream paper and knew instantly it was from Will.
“Open it, open it!” Colin demanded.
Emma did, letting the jump drive slide into her hand. She looked inside and pulled out the note.
Emma, your future is here. You belong in New York. You belong with me. Just give me one more chance to prove it. – Will
“What is it?” Colin asked bouncing on his toes.
Emma looked at him. “Where did you get this?”
“The front door.”
“Colin, didn’t we talk about not opening the door to strangers?”
“It wasn’t a stranger. It was no one. There was a knock but no one was there. Who’s it from?” he asked pointing to the note.
“Will,” Emma said quietly.
A worried expression flickered across Colin’s face. “But it’s not Christmas. We don’t have the perfect gift for Will yet!”
“I’m not sure this is a gift,” Emma replied studying the tiny jump drive. A miniature label stuck to it, and written in Will’s perfect penmanship was a message. I hear there’s some really great fashion schools in New York.
“Then what is it?” Colin asked.
Emma’s nerves snapped like live wires in her veins. The stubborn streak in her made her want to march down the hall and leave the jump drive at Will’s door, unopened. It was the only chance she had of possibly moving on without him. But she knew there was no way in hell that would happen. Her curiosity was already piqued.
She pushed passed Colin, padding to her pile of things in the hall. She dug out her laptop, frowning when it showed the dead battery symbol instead of her home screen. Not again! She desperately needed a new laptop. The damn thing was barely holding a charge lately. But that was the least of her worries at the moment.
She turned to Colin. “Do you have a computer I can use?”
“Sure!”
Emma followed Colin into his room and sat in his desk chair while he flipped open a laptop. She handed Colin the jump drive and watched as he expertly inserted it and opened the file before climbing onto her lap. As she’s expected, it was a movie file. Will used to make Emma all sorts of funny little films when they were younger. They were the only gifts they’d ever exchanged, actually. There was a time when Emma loved to play the actress in Will’s films. Her favorite part had always been pulling together an elaborate wardrob
e from her closet, prompting Will to tell her she should be a Hollywood costume designer.
The memory stung, but not so much as what Emma saw when the film began. A black screen flashed ten words. ‘I hear there are some great fashion schools in New York.’ The next screen had two simple sentences. ‘New York, meet Emma Rhodes. Your next design star.’
What followed took her breath away. It was image after image of her. Emma in the park, twirling in the first skirt she ever made. Emma running up and down the isles of Mood Fabric. Emma grinning as she bent bright-eyed over her sewing machine. Emma modeling her fashion finds from Brooklyn’s vintage clothing stores. Emma pretending to catwalk down the hallway at St. James, rocking her unique style in her altered school uniform. It went on and on.
Will had hundreds of clips of Emma. Some she’d forgotten about, and some she had no idea he’d even filmed. As she watched her fashion montage, her heart hemorrhaged with emotion. Emma barely recognized the girl Will had captured on film. When was the last time she’d smiled like that?
Fashion had always made Emma happy. She’d known it was her passion since the very first runway show her mother had taken her to. But lately Emma hadn’t felt inspired enough to devote much time to her passion. She felt lost, just trying to hang on to the frayed pieces of her old life.
Moving to Boston and starting at a new school hadn’t been easy on her. And even after she’d settled into her new life, things still hadn’t clicked. It was like a phantom piece was always missing. And until that very moment Emma hadn’t realized what it was. But now she did. She’d left her passion in New York. It was like the city itself somehow inspired her to create. And without it, she’d lost a part of who she was.
Emma hadn’t realized how much not having that spark to create had affected her. It had stolen away part of her heart, where creativity and inspiration lie. And Will had known it. He’d taken one look at her and known what was missing. That was how well he knew her. He knew what Emma needed even when she didn’t. Her heart thumped like a jackhammer in her chest. She’d made a huge mistake. Will was right—she belonged in New York. She belonged with him.
The Boyfriend Series Box Set (Books 1-6): YA Contemporary Romance Novels Page 73
