40
Parker
Parker’s head hung in his hands. He was sitting in the ER waiting room silently berating himself. This was all his fault. He never should’ve told Beth how he felt. She wouldn’t be in a hospital right now if he’d just kept his mouth shut. Sure, she’d still be dating that ass hat, Jared, but anything was better than this. Better than Beth being hurt or . . . He couldn’t even bring himself to think it.
He was sick with grief, but Parker couldn’t sit still for another minute. He got up to pace the waiting room again. He still couldn’t really believe he was here. An hour ago Beth had been in his arms, kissing him and talking about waking up in the same bed with him. He’d been so close to everything he wanted. But as he looked down at the soot and bloodstains on his shirt and tie, he knew this was real.
It was karma for what he’d done. He was just as bad as Jared. Parker had kissed Beth, knowing she was still with Jared. It didn’t matter that Jared was wrong for Beth, or that she’d decided to break up with him. Parker should’ve waited. Or should’ve been satisfied with just being Beth’s friend. He’d been selfish telling her that he wanted more.
Parker couldn’t imagine not having Beth in his life. The feeling was enough to make his knees weak. He stopped pacing and braced his arms against the wall, trying to take slow, deep breaths to chase away the dizzying black dots dancing in his vision.
The outside doors rolled open and Mrs. Bennett came dashing into the waiting room. She saw Parker immediately and he rushed to her side.
“Parker, have you heard anything new?”
He shook his head, feeling his face crumble.
Beth’s mother pulled Parker into her arms and held him with a warmth and tightness only a mother’s embrace could achieve. It was his undoing. He’d been holding it together by a thread, but in Barbara Bennett’s comforting arms, Parker fell apart. He shook as violent sobs racked his body. “I’m so, so sorry,” he cried. “She has to be okay. I need her to be okay.”
“Shhh,” Barbara soothed, stroking Parker’s hair. “It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re okay.”
“No I’m not. This is all my fault.”
Barbara pulled away to look at him. “Parker, this was a car accident. It wasn’t your fault.”
“But she wouldn’t have been in the car if it wasn’t for me.”
Barbara gave him a concerned look registering the bruises Jared’s beating had surly left on his face. “Sweetheart, are you hurt?”
Parker shook his head. “I wasn’t in the car with her.”
Barbara frowned obviously confused.
Parker took another shaky breath on the verge of losing it.
“Come sit down, sweetheart,” Barbara coaxed, leading Parker back towards the chairs.
After Beth had been taken away on the stretcher, one of the nurses had asked Parker if there was anyone they could call. He immediately called Beth’s mother, only telling her that Beth had been in a car accident and he’d gotten her to the hospital. But now that Barbara was here, Parker knew he had to tell her the truth and it terrified him, because he knew in doing so, he might lose two people he loved today.
Once they were seated, Barbara took Parker’s hands in hers. “Sweetheart, tell me what happened.”
“Beth and I got in a fight. She was angry and took off in a car she found at the valet. I chased after her in another car. That’s how I found her. She’d already wrecked by the time I got there. I pulled her out of the wreck and got her here as fast as I could.”
Barbara was squeezing Parker’s hands, tears welling in her eyes—eyes that looked so much like Beth’s that it nearly killed him to look at her. Barbara reached up to stroke Parker’s cheek. “Thank God you were there, Parker. We’re so lucky to have you in our lives. You’ve always been such a good friend to Beth.”
Parker shuddered. “No I haven’t, Mrs. Bennett. I’m in love with Beth. I have been for a really long time.”
Barbara sighed. Instead of pulling away from Parker like he’d expected, she put a warm hand on his shoulder and said, “I suspected as much.”
He lifted his head. “You did?”
Barbara was smiling painfully. “I always thought she had feelings for you as well, but you both guard your hearts so fiercely. I wasn’t sure if anything would come of it.”
Parker’s throat was tight. “I wish it hadn’t,” he whispered.
“Parker . . .” Barbara started. “What happened between you two?”
“I told Beth I loved her.” He looked down shamefully. “We kissed.”
“And that made her run away?”
“No. She feels the same way about me, too. Or at least she did. But then Jared showed up begging her to take him back, and—”
“Jared’s here?”
“He flew in from Aspen to try to get Beth to take him back. They broke up last night because, well because he’s an idiot. But Jared and I got into it and Beth was put in the middle. That’s why she took off.”
Barbara was silent, her mouth in a tight line. Parker was pretty sure she didn’t know that Beth and Jared were officially dating. Beth was always careful to say they were just friends, but there was no way for Parker to explain what happened without telling Barbara about Jared and Beth. He hated to betray Beth’s trust again, but it’s not like her mother could be mad about her having a boyfriend when she was lying in the hospital.
Barbara looked like she wanted to say something, but just then the ER doors swung open. Parker and Barbara were both on their feet as the doctor walked toward them. Chills of déjà vu erupted on Parker’s scalp slithering all the way down his spine. Suddenly, he was four years old again, holding his father’s hand as the doctor delivered the news that his mother had passed.
This was too close to home. Parker had lost his mother in a car accident. This couldn’t be how he lost Beth too. He gripped Barbara’s hand like a lifeline as the doctor spoke.
“Beth sustained a mild head injury. She had smoke in her lungs and required a few stitches in her scalp. She’s got a minor concussion, so we’ll be keeping her for observation, but she’s going to be just fine.” The doctor reached out and shook Parker’s hand. “She was lucky you were there, son. You did a good thing getting her here so quickly.”
The doctor pulled Barbara aside to talk to her further about insurance and medications. Parker sunk back down into his chair. He didn’t think his legs could support him a moment longer. Beth was going to be okay. The words whirled around his head until they sank in. Parker was shaking with tears of relief when Barbara walked back over. She sat down and took his hands.
“Can we see her yet?” Parker asked.
“Not yet. They’re moving her to a private room soon. She’s still sedated, but once she’s situated they said we can visit her.”
Parker nodded.
“Parker,” Barbara started. “I hope you know how grateful I am to you.”
His head popped up. “Me?”
“You were there for Beth when it counted. You’ve always been there for her. And no matter what happens between you two, I’ll always consider you part of our family.”
Barbara’s words made him start sobbing all over again. She pulled him into a hug and rubbed soothing circles into his back. “Everything’s going to be fine, sweetheart. I have a feeling things will work out with you two.”
“I don’t see how,” Parker replied.
Barbara lifted his chin. “You have to think positive.”
“I’ve been trying to, but it’s like everything is set on pulling us apart. First Jared, and in a few months we’ll be going to separate colleges. It’s why I never said anything to her before . . .”
“Ah yes, college,” Barbara said, calmly. “Can I ask you something, Parker? Do you want to go to Cornell?”
He shook his head.
“Have you talked to your father about any of this?”
He shook his head again.
She smiled warmly. “I know I’m not your mothe
r, but I think of you like a son. And if you don’t mind me saying so, I’d like to give you a piece of motherly advice. You have some big questions to ask yourself regarding your future. The best advice I can give you is to follow your heart and do what you know will make you happy. That’s all any parent really wants; for their children to be happy.”
Barbara’s words washed over Parker, filling his heart with hope. How many times had Beth told him the same thing? And he didn’t have to ask himself any hard questions. He knew what he wanted. He wanted Beth. He wanted Harvard. But what did it matter now? Beth would never forgive him for not coming to her about Jared and Caroline when he’d had the chance. He’d seen the pain in her eyes. Parker couldn’t forgive himself for hurting her—so how could he ask Beth to?
41
Parker
A few hours later a nurse led Parker and Barbara to Beth’s room. Seeing her in a hospital bed with her head bandaged filled Parker with a mix of emotions. He was flooded with relief at seeing her alive, but then regret filled his heart. He still felt responsible.
Parker gave Barbara some privacy with her daughter. When he came back with two cups of coffee for them, she said she was going to drive back to the wedding to assure everyone that Beth was all right. Barbara wanted to send Brenna and Eric off and then promised to come back with some fresh clothes for Parker.
“Oh, Mrs. Bennett, please don’t worry about me.”
“Parker, you look like an extra in one of those horror films you and Beth are always watching. The fresh clothes are as much for me as they are for you. Seeing you like this is fraying my nerves.”
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. He was so stupid. Seeing Beth’s blood on him probably reminded Barbara how wrong tonight could’ve gone.
As if reading his thoughts, Barbara put a hand on Parker’s shoulder. “I was just as worried about you, sweetheart. I meant what I said, Parker. You’re family. I think of you like a son, and I’m so grateful that both of you are okay.”
Barbara leaned in and kissed Parker’s cheek. “Stay with her while I’m gone?”
“Of course.”
Parker took up a vigil at Beth’s bedside as soon as her mother left. He knew the doctor said she’d be fine, but he couldn’t relax completely until she opened her beautiful brown eyes. He picked up her IV-free hand, running a finger back and forth over her skin. Her hand was soft and warm, igniting the familiar ache in Parker’s heart all over again.
He was right back where he started—back to loving Beth from afar. But it felt worse somehow. Having had her for scarcely a moment was a kind of torture he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy. But Parker sent up a silent prayer for the strength to weather it, because Beth was alive, and that was all that truly mattered.
Parker brought Beth’s hand to his lips, kissing it lightly. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I never meant for any of this to happen. You mean everything to me, Beth. You always have. I don’t deserve you.” He kissed her hand one last time and set it back down.
This was why he’d never pursued her, why he was happy enough just to love her from a distance. Because having her and losing her was too much to bear. He’d always been afraid of what truly loving her would mean. He’d tried so hard to keep her at arms length. Never in a million years had Parker ever thought Beth would love him back. The fact that she had, even if it was for only for a moment . . . it was enough. It was more than he’d ever allowed himself to hope for.
He knew he would carry that with him forever. The memory of their kisses would sustain him. But he couldn’t hope for more. He needed to let her go now, while he still could. He just needed to know she was okay.
“Please wake up,” Parker begged, his voice whisper soft. “Please, Beth. I just need to see your beautiful brown eyes again. I just need to know you’re okay.” Parker closed his own eyes, pulling in a shaking breath. “I love you, Beth. I always have. I know you probably can’t hear me, but I just want to say it one last time. I love you, and you deserve so much more than this.”
“Isn’t that sweet?”
Parker whirled around to see Jared standing in the doorway to Beth’s hospital room, his token smug smile plastered across his face.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Parker growled, getting to his feet.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Jared asked stepping into the room. “I’m visiting my girlfriend.”
Parker snorted. “Are you delusional? She’s not your girlfriend.”
“Well, I know she sure as hell isn’t your girlfriend,” Jared replied. “I have just as much right to be here as you.”
“Neither of us have a right to be here. We’re in a fucking hospital, Jared. We caused this!” Parker hissed, trying to keep his voice down.
“Quit being so dramatic. The doctor said she’s gonna be fine.”
“That’s not the point. This isn’t a game. This is Beth’s life we’re talking about.”
Jared huffed a laugh and stalked closer to Parker, narrowing his eyes. “Give it a rest. You’re the one that started this shit.”
“Me?”
“I saw it the moment I got off the moving truck. You were sizing me up like competition and Beth was the prize. I have to say, I thought I had you beat.” Jared laughed. “But I underestimated you. You’ve got balls, going after Beth the minute we broke up. Was it your idea, or Caroline’s, to have Beth video chat me in the middle of the night?” Jared was so close Parker could feel his breath.
“I had nothing to do with her calling you. And you know I had nothing to do with any of Caroline’s plans.”
Jared shrugged. “Regardless, it doesn’t matter.”
“How does you sleeping with Caroline not matter?”
“I was always gonna come clean to Beth. I was just waiting for the right time.”
“You mean like when you were done having fun cheating on your girlfriend?” Parker asked, his voice venomous. “How could you do that to Beth? How could Caroline? They were friends.”
“As crazy as it sounds, Caroline is still on Beth’s side,” Jared shook his head. “In her own twisted way I think she thought she was protecting Beth by trying to keep me away from her. Car didn’t think I was good enough for Beth. She wanted to break us up.”
“Well this,” Parker said, gesturing to the hospital bed behind him, “Wasn’t the right way.”
“Think what you want, but Car didn’t mean anything to me. She was a mistake.”
Parker laughed. “And just how many mistakes did you and Car make?”
Jared didn’t answer the question. Instead, he laughed. “You think you’re so smart, but your plan to steal Beth didn’t accomplish anything. I should really be thanking you for saving me the trouble of figuring out how to tell her about Car.” Jared smiled. “Anyway, I’m back now, and there’s no way Beth’s gonna settle for a loser like you when she can still have me.”
“I’m not gonna stand in Beth’s way,” Parker replied. “If she wants to be with you that’s her choice. But you’re crazy if you think I’m gonna let you treat her badly.”
“You act like you have a say in this,” Jared replied smugly. “But the truth is you don’t stand a chance. I mean how long have you been in love with her anyway? Since puberty? It’s pathetic. If she wanted you she would’ve chewed you up and spit you out by now.”
“That just proves how little you know her,” Parker countered.
“I know I’m really gonna enjoy taking her from you. How ‘bout that?”
It took every ounce of strength for Parker not to deck Jared. Instead he asked, “Do you even love her, Jared? Or is this just about winning?”
“Ya know, it really started off about beating you. Guys like you think your trust funds can buy you anything.”
“I don’t think that at all,” Parker interrupted.
Jared shrugged. “Maybe this started as a game, but I have real feelings for Beth now.”
“But do you love her?” Parker demanded. “Because I do. And she des
erves nothing less.”
“Too bad I’m not gonna give you a chance to tell her that,” Jared said taking a threatening step closer.
Parker flinched as Jared cocked back his fist, but something stopped him. His eyes were wide and when Parker followed Jared’s gaze he saw why. Beth’s eyes were open, and blazing with fury.
“Get out,” she whispered in a raspy voice.
“Beth,” Jared started, but she shook her head and raised her hand, pointing with authority at her open door.
“Out.”
For a split second Parker’s heart soared. Beth was awake. She was okay. He could deal with everything else. Shoulders hunched, he headed for the door, following Jared out, but Beth’s voice pulled him back.
“Parker?” she rasped.
He paused, turning to face her.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“I’m sorry, I thought you wanted me to leave.”
“Not you,” she whispered, tears welling in her eyes. “Never you.”
In that moment, he let himself hope, because it was more than forgiveness he saw shining in her eyes. It was love.
Parker raced to her bedside, timidly picking up her hand. She squeezed it and suddenly he had tears in his eyes too. “Beth, I’m so sorry.”
“Stop,” she whispered clutching his hand with both of hers. Her beautiful brown eyes were bright as she searched his. “I love you, too.”
Parker’s heart skipped. “What?”
“I heard everything, Parker. Every word you said since the accident. And I love you, too.”
Astonishment washed over Parker as he let the words sink in. And when they did he couldn’t stop himself. He threw his arms around Beth. “Oh thank God.”
They clung to each other, sobbing and laughing. Beth was the one who spoke first. “I never should’ve doubted you. Can you forgive me for being so stupid?”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” Parker said, pressing his lips gently to her cheek.
Beth sighed against him snuggling deeper into his embrace. “I love you so much, Parker.”
The Boyfriend Series Box Set (Books 1-6): YA Contemporary Romance Novels Page 102
