Managing Your Emotions: Instead of Your Emotions Managing You

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Managing Your Emotions: Instead of Your Emotions Managing You Page 13

by Joyce Meyer


  I have dealt with people who were to the point of being suicidal only to discover nothing was really wrong with them mentally or emotionally, only physically. Once the physical problem was effectively taken care of, they were able to return to a normal life.

  In my own life, I have had three major surgeries. Each time I was warned by the medical staff that sometime after being released from the hospital I would probably experience a period in which I felt depressed. That, I was told, is a normal part of our physical makeup.

  Although I thought it wouldn't happen to me, and that even if it did I would just rebuke it in the name of Jesus, I did experience it after my first operation. And it was much more of a problem than I had anticipated. The next time I had surgery I was much better prepared to deal with it.

  Other medical-type changes include the change of life for women and the mid-life crisis for men. Usually when people have not taken proper care of their bodies in their younger years, in mid-life various problems will begin to develop.

  As women experience a loss of the female hormone “estrogen,” for example, they may start to undergo changes in their bodies that have a tremendous effect on their mind and emotions.

  In somewhat the same way, at a certain age men who have always been in control of their lives may suddenly begin to feel life is passing them by and start acting strangely, which is often just a different form of depression.

  Another type of change is that which takes place within our daily routine or existence. Things like changing jobs or moving from one place to another, beginning a new career, or even getting married and starting a family, can bring about emotional stresses that must be dealt with.

  Any kind of major change, even a good change like having a baby or retiring from work, can bring on depression, and many times we are not even aware of what is causing the problem.

  Another cause of depression is fear.

  Fearing something gives Satan an open door to intensify the thing causing the fear and make the fear worse. Fear itself is a reaction to change, to the unknown. One thing we must realize is that while fear is a normal reaction to the various changes we all go through in life, it does not have to destroy us. With the help of the Holy Spirit within us, we can learn to face our fear and control it like any other emotion.

  As we have seen, among the many other causes of depression are spiritual issues such as unforgiveness, self-pity, and chastisement from the Lord. We have also seen that building up huge debt by following our emotions rather than drawing on God's wisdom will cause depression.

  Some people have come under depression by resisting or avoiding the call of the Lord on their lives. Instead of going forward with what He has called them to do, they become disobedient and try to live by their own plans and desires. The result is often manifested in a physical, mental, or emotional way as disease or depression.

  Whatever the cause of depression — whether it is physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or some combination of these factors — there is a solution. It is found in the Word of God. Let's look at the example of David, a man after God's own heart, to see how he dealt with this thing called depression.

  David Deals With Depression

  Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, my Help and my God. Psalm 42:5

  In this verse David makes it clear he is having a problem with depression. I would like for us to examine how he handled it, because it shows there is a cure for depression.

  As we dissect this verse, we see three distinct things David does in response to his depressed feelings.

  He starts out standing to one side looking at his soul which is feeling depressed. First he puts a question to his own soul asking, “Why are you downcast?” Then he gives an instruction to his soul, “Put your hope in God.” Finally, he declares what he is going to do, “I will praise the Lord.” We might say David has a talk with himself.

  We must follow this basic pattern of action as we confront our feelings of depression.

  Each of us has been given a free will. We must not allow Satan to take control of that free will, even though that is exactly what he will try to do.

  God never tries to take over our free will. The Bible teaches that the Holy Spirit prompts, leads, guides, and directs us. But it never says He tries to force or pressure or make us do something we don't want to do.

  Yet Satan is constantly trying to force, pressure, and make us do things we don't want to do.

  So in our battle against depression and all other negative emotions, one thing we have on our side is our free will.

  Now let's look at David's plan for overcoming depression.

  Praise God

  We are taught repeatedly that one of the cures for depression is to praise God. When we are depressed, the plan of action to take is to get dressed and go to a praise meeting somewhere so that we can worship and magnify the Lord. We are to listen to praise music and teaching over and over and to sing unto the Lord, making merry in our hearts, regardless of how we may feel.

  That is more or less what David is saying to his soul, his feelings. He is saying no matter how he feels inside, he is going to lift his voice in praise and thanksgiving to the Lord, putting his hope in God. By taking action as mentioned earlier like singing, going out around other people, listening to uplifting things, etc., we are “putting on the garment of praise” which Isaiah 61:3 states has been given to us for “the spirit of heaviness.”

  God provides us with what we need to walk into victory, but we must “put it on” or use it. When we “feel” depressed, we do not “feel” like singing. But if we will do it in obedience to God's Word, we will discover that what God offers us does in fact overcome or defeat what Satan tries to bring against us. In other words, Satan tries to bring us down through sinking, lowered feelings called depression. God lifts us up above depression through singing, hopeful words and inspiring music.

  Remember the Lord

  O my God, my life is cast down upon me [and I find the burden more than I can bear]; therefore will I [earnestly] remember You from the land of the Jordan [River] and the [summits of Mount] Hermon, from the little mountain Mizar. Psalm 42:6

  When you and I are down, what does the devil want us to remember? Every foul, rotten, stinking thing that has ever happened to us and every shameful, detestable, despicable thing we ourselves have ever done. He wants us to sit there, looking at the floor, taking an inventory of our misery.

  At the same time the Lord wants us to raise our eyes and hands and head and heart and sing praises to Him in the very midst of our miserable situation.

  Do you remember what King Saul did when he was being assaulted by an evil spirit? He called for David to come play on his harp to soothe his troubled spirit. (1 Sam. 16:14-23.)

  Any time you feel your spirit start to sink down into depression, you need to take action immediately. Don't wait until you have been in the pit for days before you start to do something to lift your spirit.

  When David felt himself sinking, he remembered the Lord and the good things He had done for him in the past. Why did he do that? Because it helped him. It lifted him up out of the miry pit into which he was sliding.

  Sing, Pray, Hope, Wait, and Praise

  [Roaring] deep calls to [roaring] deep at the thunder of Your waterspouts; all Your breakers and Your rolling waves have gone over me.

  Yet the Lord will command His loving-kindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me, a prayer to the God of my life. …

  Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, Who is the help of my countenance, and my God. Psalm 42:7,8,11

  When David was down, he said the song of the Lord was with him, a prayer to the God of his life.

  Then in verse 11 he went on to say that when his
inner self, his soul, moaned over him (as our souls moan over us in self-pity), he put his hope in the Lord, waited expectantly for Him, and praised Him Who was the help of his countenance.

  In 1 Samuel 30:6 when David was opposed by his own men who held him responsible for the kidnapping of their families, we read that David was greatly distressed, for the men spoke of stoning him because the souls of them all were bitterly grieved, each man for his sons and daughters. But David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God.

  What David did to overcome his heavy depression is what you and I are to do to overcome ours when our souls are bitterly grieved and cast down.

  Overcome and Rise Up!

  … the enemy has pursued and persecuted my soul, he has crushed my life down to the ground; he has made me to dwell in dark places as those who have been long dead.

  Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed and faints within me [wrapped in gloom]; my heart within my bosom grows numb. Psalm 143:3,4

  What the enemy had done to David is exactly what the devil wants to do to us. He is continually trying to pursue and persecute our soul, crush our life down to the ground, make us to dwell in dark places, overwhelm our spirit causing it to faint within us, and wrap us in gloom so that our heart grows numb.

  Satan wants to use our soul, our mind and emotions, to get to our spirit, our heart. He wants to crush the very life out of us so that we become immobile and unable to do anything against his kingdom of darkness.

  Although we Christians are subject to the same feelings and emotions, fatigue and stresses that everyone else is, there is supposed to be a difference between us and the world. When people in the world are overwhelmed and give up, we are supposed to overcome and rise up!

  How do we do that? By doing what David did in his distress.

  Remember, Meditate, Ponder, Spread Forth, and Lift Up

  I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your doings; I ponder the work of Your hands.

  I spread forth my hands to You; my soul thirsts after You like a thirsty land [for water]. …

  Answer me speedily, O Lord, for my spirit fails; hide not Your face from me, lest I become like those who go down into the pit. …

  Cause me to hear Your loving-kindness in the morning, for on You do I lean and in You do I trust. Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk, for I lift up my inner self to You. Psalm 143:5-8

  What is David doing in this passage? He is crying out to the Lord for help.

  When you and I feel ourselves sinking down into the pit of depression, we can do what David did here. We can remember the days of old. We can meditate on all the Lord's doings on our behalf. We can ponder the mighty works of His hands. We can spread forth our hands in prayer and supplication to Him. We can call upon Him to answer us speedily because we are leaning on and trusting in Him. We can lift up our soul, our inner being, to Him.

  All these things constitute an act of faith, and the Lord has promised to always respond to faith. If we are under a minor attack, it may take only a few hours or days. But if we are under a major attack, it may take a much longer time. But however long it may be, we must stand firm and continue to cry out to God until He hears and answers our plea for help.

  Sooner or later the Lord will deliver us, just as He delivered David from all his woes.

  Seek the Level Ground

  Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies; I flee to You to hide me.

  Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; let Your good Spirit lead me into a level country and into the land of uprightness.

  Save my life, O Lord, for Your name's sake; in Your righteousness, bring my life out of trouble and free me from distress.

  And in Your mercy and loving-kindness, cut off my enemies and destroy all those who afflict my inner self, for I am Your servant. Psalm 143:9-12

  Here in the final verses of this psalm, David calls upon the Lord to deliver him from his enemies because he has run to Him for help and protection. He asks the Lord to teach him His will and to let His Spirit lead him into a level country.

  As we have seen, what David was asking for when he spoke of a level country was balanced emotions.

  Secure in who he was and in Whose he was, David was able to place himself into the hands of the Lord and allow Him to bring his life out of trouble, free him from distress, punish his enemies, and cause him to win the victory over all those who were afflicting his soul, because He belonged to the Lord.

  You and I are to place ourselves in God's hands and allow Him to move on our behalf to win our victory over the devil and withstand his attempts to drag us down into the depths of depression and despair.

  Fight!

  Blessed be the Lord, my Rock and my keen and firm Strength, Who teaches my hands to war and my fingers to fight —

  My Steadfast Love and my Fortress, my High Tower and my Deliverer, my Shield and He in Whom I trust and take refuge, Who subdues my people under me. Psalm 144:1,2

  Here in the opening verses of the very next psalm, David continues to praise the Lord Who is his Rock, his Strength, Love, Shield, and the One in Whom he takes refuge and Who subdues his enemies.

  But notice that David says that the Lord subdued his enemies “under me,” meaning that David had a part to play in his own deliverance.

  In verse 1, he said it was the Lord Who taught his hands to war and his fingers to fight.

  This is the clue to the cure for depression. We must do what David did. We must recognize it, submit it to the Lord, call upon Him for His help, then fight that depression in the strength and power of the Holy Spirit.

  How do we fight it? By spending time with God. By speaking His Word. By lifting our eyes, head, hands, and heart and offering the sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving to the Lord, our Rock and Strength, our Love and Fortress, our High Tower and Deliverer, the One in Whom we trust and take refuge, the One Who subdues our enemies under us.

  7

  He Restoreth My Soul

  Thus far in this book we have looked at how not to be led by our emotions, how to find healing of our damaged emotions, how to overcome the unforgiveness that affects our emotions, how to avoid the mood swings that can cause such problems emotionally, and how to defeat the depression that threatens to destroy our whole emotional system.

  Now in this chapter we will look at the restoration of our entire souls — our minds, wills, and especially our emotions — as described by David in the Twenty-Third Psalm.

  Refreshing and Restoring the Soul

  The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.

  He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters,

  He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him — not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake. Psalm 23:1-3

  The Twenty-Third Psalm is so comforting. In it the psalmist David tells us it is the Lord Who leads us, Who feeds, guides, and shields us, Who causes us to lie down and rest, Who refreshes and restores our life, or as the King James Version says, our soul.

  It is with our soul that our body contacts the world, and it is with our spirit that we contact God. Our soul has a lot to do with our personality, as we have discussed in an earlier chapter.

  When David says God leads us in the paths of righteousness, uprightness, and right standing with Him, he is saying God leads each of us in the path right for us individually.

  God has a path predestined for each of us. If we will allow Him to do so, He will guide us by His Holy Spirit into the unique path that leads to the fulfillment of His planned destiny for us.

  The King James Version words verse 3 as, He restoreth my soul. … As we saw, The Amplified Bible words that verse as, He refreshes and restores my life (my self). … The word restore means, “1. To bring back into existence or use. 2. To bring back to an original state. 3. To put (someone) back in a former position (restore the monarc
h to the throne). 4. To make restitution of: give back. …1 “to return; to cause to return, to restore to a former condition”;2 to refresh.

  When David says God will restore our soul, I believe he means God will return us to the state or condition we were in before we erred from following the good plan God had predestined for us before our birth, or before Satan attacked us to draw us out of God's plan for us.

  God's Predestined Plan

  For we are God's [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live]. Ephesians 2:10

  God had a good plan laid out for each of us and our life long before we made our appearance on this planet. The devil comes to disrupt that plan and to destroy the good thing God has in mind for each of us.

  Since before we were born, God has had a unique plan for each of us. It is not a plan of failure, misery, poverty, sickness and disease. God's plan is a good plan, a plan for life and health, happiness, and fulfillment.

  In Jeremiah 29:11 we read: For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.

  In John 10:10 Jesus said, The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).

 

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