by M. A. Innes
I wasn’t sure if he was talking to himself or me, but I answered anyway. “Do you like the mask I picked out for you?”
He nodded, and that time when he looked back over at the box, his smile got bigger. “It’s beautiful. Not too bright and showy. I like the blue.”
“It has a collar and tail that match.” I realized that might not have been the best response when he just nodded slowly.
“Pups have collars and tails.” His words weren’t a question, but I found myself nodding.
“That’s what I saw online.”
That had him cracking a smile again. “You were jerking off to the pups, weren’t you?”
I found myself looking at the ceiling and around the room, everywhere but at Tobias, as I nodded. “Just that once.”
I’d paid more attention to what I was doing after that.
“Let me see the rest of the pieces then.” He reached for the box and as he started looking through it, I almost forgot he hadn’t really answered my question.
He made vague comments about the knee pads being practical as he set them to the side. When he looked at the collar he actually smiled and stroked over the leather before putting it down as well. His hand slowed as he reached for the box that had the tail in it.
As he opened it, the uninformative chatter faded, and he just looked at it.
“It’s supposed to feel good when you wag it.” Another unhelpful remark, but it made him smile, so I didn’t feel too stupid.
“How...how would I wag it?” He was turning the tail over in his hand, analyzing it.
“I...um...I think if you clench down on the plug it wags the tail back and forth. I saw one video where the pup...well he...this was just for research, but he wagged so much he came.” I sounded ridiculous, like I hadn’t ever talked about sex before, but this was awkward.
Tobias smiled at me and waggled his eyebrows. “Prostate.”
Chuckling, I nodded. “Yep. I made sure to get one that would nudge your prostate as it...wagged. I thought you might like the sensation.” And I’d hoped that it would help distract him from worrying about things. An overload of pleasure had to be good for that.
“Thanks.” His oh-so-polite answer didn’t tell me if he thought I was nuts or not.
Speaking carefully and trying not to show too much emotion, I figured the only way to find out was to ask. “You said it wasn’t stupid when you thought it was for me. Is that still the case?” I had to know.
He nodded his head immediately and wrapped his arms around me. “Nothing you want to explore is stupid. It’s just a lot to wrap my mind around.”
“Do you want to see some of the videos?” Would that help him to understand what I saw in it?
Tobias chuckled and his concerned expression turned playful. “Are you asking me to watch porn with you?”
“No.” Then I shrugged. “Well, if you want to, but there are lots of ones where the pups are fairly covered and are just having fun. That’s what I was thinking of.”
“Okay.” He took a deep breath and looked over at the mask again before turning his loving face back to me. “Show me the pups, baby.”
Refusing to overthink his response and question him to death, I told myself to trust him. Tobias loved me. But at that moment, it felt like I was getting ready to share a very private part of myself with him.
But this was Tobias.
“Curl up beside me, and I’ll grab my computer.” I gave him a kiss as he climbed off my lap.
My brain immediately switched gears as I headed out to the living room where I’d left my laptop. By the time I got back, Tobias was in the center of the bed looking very relaxed, but had his...the puppy hood in a tight grip on his lap.
Not sure what his mixed signals actually meant, I ignored them and focused on the plan. I’d mentally chosen several videos that might work as I’d gone for my computer, so when I stretched out on the bed, I knew exactly what I would pull up first.
It was closer to Pup 101 than porn. The handler did the talking in the video, and I loved the way he spoke about his pup and how he looked at him. Turning to Tobias as I found the site, I kissed his forehead. “This is a couple that’s been into puppy play for several years.”
Pointing to the images on the screen, I smiled. “This guy is the handler. He does something creative because he’s always talking about projects he has to get back to when it’s time for their playing to be over.”
Tobias was watching me quietly, so I continued my rambling as I scrolled through some of the pictures. “They don’t seem to worry about people knowing what they’re into because they put their faces on the site. Some people are very cautious about that and all you see other than the pup in the mask is the side of the handler or maybe just his voice. I don’t know if it’s curiosity or voyeurism or what, but I like it when I can see their faces. Especially the handler. I think I like seeing how he feels about his pup.”
I was probably rambling, but Tobias was intently listening, and I kept hoping what I was saying would get through to him. He needed a way to relax and not just in a watch-TV-with-me-at-night kind of way. His brain never turned off. We could be almost asleep and I’d roll over and ask him what he was thinking, and he’d give me this long answer about a problem at work he’d been mulling over.
I’d never felt ignored or like he’d rather be off at work when we were doing things together, but he needed a way to shove all of that out of his head. Maybe puppy play wasn’t the way to do it, but it was the only idea that had really stuck out to me.
Tobias actually smiled when I started playing a video of the pup and handler playing. I stopped my rambling commentary and just watched the pup and Tobias as he studied the screen. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that one video would change how he saw it, but it felt like something changed as the pup chased the ball and played.
When the short clip was almost done, and the pup was rolling around clearly tired but with an obvious hard-on in the tiny black biker shorts he was wearing, I leaned into Tobias. “What do you think?”
He took a deep breath and shrugged. “I don’t know yet.”
But I took it as a good sign when he took the computer from me and started scrolling through their blog entries and videos. I watched, just cuddling next to him, as Tobias studied the page. His expression said he was taking it very seriously, but I wasn’t sure if that was good or not. The pups made me smile and want to throw the ball and tell them how good they were. Tobias just stared.
When it looked like he’d read everything on the site at least once, some twice, I spoke again. “Would you like to see another one?”
He nodded slowly. “This time something...a different take. Not porn but something...”
Hotter?
“Sure.” I took the computer and pulled up another couple that had a more erotic take on the puppy play. Their faces were always covered, and they never used what seemed to be their real names, but that made a lot of sense considering how naked the pup was. “The types of puppy play seem kind of like ice cream; there are a thousand different flavors and lots of them look interesting, but only one pulls you in and says you have to try it.”
Tobias cleared his throat and his eyes widened as Master Jeff and his pup Prince filled the screen. Prince was a beautiful pup with a more feminine style in a gray hood accented with pink and a cute pink tail. Even with all the sparkly pink, it was clear through pronouns and Prince’s swinging naked cock that Prince was male.
Since commentary would probably detract from the utter sensuality of the pair, I quietly hit play on their most recent video. Prince was barking and dashing around what seemed to be a large living room. With his tail wagging back and forth and the way his body moved, it was clear how good it felt. His cock was long and curved, swinging enticingly under him as he ran around.
Tobias stared for a few minutes before turning to look at me. He grinned and gave me a curious glance. “What sort of ice cream do you like? Are you drawn to the more...vanill
a-ish flavors or something more like...this strawberry-flavored sensation?”
I wanted to chuckle and play off the question like someone suaver might have, but I just found myself squirming and blushing like a moron. “I...um...”
Tobias’s grin turned wicked. “You like the naked pup, don’t you?”
Shrugging, because the cat was clearly out of the bag on this one, I glanced at the screen. “He’s not completely naked. He has a tail and his hood, and don’t forget the harness.”
His harness was so cute.
I loved the way the straps wrapped around his body and somehow accentuated his nakedness instead of covering it up. Tobias would look hot in one. But I kept that thought to myself.
I peeked over to see Tobias still smiling. “So you want to see me naked and running around like that?”
“Um...yes?” I cleared my throat and tried again. “Yes. You have a beautiful body, and I think you’d like playing.”
His eyes darted back and forth from me to the screen. “But why the more naked, sexier version?”
That had me shrugging, but I’d seen Tobias looking like that numerous times over the years and I knew a vague answer wouldn’t cut it. “I...”
Why the naked version?
“You let everything go more easily when we’re in bed. I guess I...I associate being naked with you with times that you’re totally focused on pleasure and us and...and I guess I was thinking that you might let everything go easier as a pup if you were turned on and...on display?” I’d pictured a more eloquent explanation in my head, but that hadn’t quite made it out.
I finally settled on stupid and blunt. “You’re hot, and I think it’d be fun to see you come like that.”
Tobias started choking.
It took him several long moments to stop coughing and show me he could breathe. When he was finally taking air in and out normally, I glanced back down at my lap. “Too honest?”
“There is no such thing with us.” Tobias still sounded a little strangled but didn’t seem too shocked. “You just startled me. There is nothing wrong with your answer.”
Suuure. My answer nearly killed him.
“Baby, look at me.” My take-charge Tobias was back as he reached out and cupped my face, turning me to look at him. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. You are just never that blunt and it always takes you longer to get around to the point. The first time we talked about me tying you up, it took two days of rambling before you got it out.”
Okay, maybe he had a point.
“I’ve grown up a bit since then.” I was hoping he had too.
Tobias gave me a wicked grin. “Grew up and decided you wanted to play with sexy naked puppies.”
I nudged my shoulder against his. “You’re terrible.”
“Oh no, I’m the shocked husband who’s completely boring and has stumbled on his husband’s secret life.” I’d have taken his words more seriously if he hadn’t been grinning so widely. He was thoroughly enjoying himself.
“I don’t think that’s how I’d describe you.”
Tobias tried to look innocent. “I came in the other day and found you jerking off to this pup. I’m the completely wronged party here.”
His mentioning my arousal had me looking down at his lap. His slacks hid a lot, but it was clear he wasn’t as innocent as he tried to look. “You’re either guilty of the same thing or you have the remote in your pants.”
Tobias threw his head back and laughed. Even when he calmed down again, he couldn’t argue with me. “He’s naked.”
That wasn’t a good answer, so I had to point it out. “So are those statues in museums, but they don’t get you hard.”
Tobias chuckled. “Okay, maybe he’s...sexy like that.”
Now to the big question.
I tried to go over it enough in my head that the words would come out right and I wouldn’t sound stupid. Finally, I gave up and just threw them out of my mouth. “Are you aroused because you like seeing him as a pup, or are you aroused because you’re imagining yourself as a pup?”
Those were two very different things.
Tobias bit down on his lip and looked thoughtful. Not seeming to be ready to answer, he clicked on another video. I knew exactly what happened in this one. Prince had been naughty. Master Jeff started off explaining and pointing out in great detail the cage Prince was wearing around his cock. Tobias started to shift and squirm as he watched Prince beg and whine, humping the air with his trapped dick.
After a few minutes of watching the naughty pup beg and whine before finally starting to play, probably to try to tempt his master, Tobias spoke. “I’m not sure I’d want a cage.”
“Because it would be giving up a lot of control or because it turns you off?”
It was Tobias’s turn to not know how to answer. “Um...control, but it’s...interesting.”
Human Tobias might not like the idea of it, but I could easily picture a playful pup Tobias who was rolling around and begging like Prince was in the video.
Tobias wasn’t sure what to think, and when he reached over and turned the video off, I had to smile. I had a feeling he’d be the one I found jerking off to them at some point. “Let me show you something else.”
This one would be harder for him.
Taking the laptop from him, I went to my saved sites and quickly pulled up a short clip. It was closer to an ad than a real video. “It’s from a club in DC. They have puppy night once a month.”
Faces were all carefully covered with the pups in masks and the handlers’ faces all completely blurred, but it was easy to see how happy the pups were as they rolled around and played together. Tobias’s eyes were wide again as he watched.
“Some are...” His voice trailed off, but I knew what he meant.
Some were just as naked as Prince had been. “Some have shorts on.”
“But some...and they’re all...” Tobias had clearly lost his words as he stared at the pups.
When it stopped, Tobias started it again. After watching the short teaser for the play night several more times, Tobias finally looked over at me. “You want to go.”
Chapter 8
Tobias
It hadn’t actually been a question, but Noah nodded. “Yes.”
Then he swallowed and continued. “You need friends and a way to relax. This would get you both.”
I couldn’t fault his logic, but it was...surprising.
My quiet husband wanted to go to a BDSM club? “This is a BDSM club, right?”
He nodded slowly, but the rest of his answer didn’t take long. It was, however, a bit rambling. “I don’t want to...I mean...I don’t want to go there and...you wouldn’t be...shit.”
I couldn’t suppress my smile. He was so cute. That didn’t, however, give me enough information, and I wasn’t comfortable with every thought that was running through my head. “Were you imagining us going to do other things there?”
When he shook his head immediately, I found some of my stress easing. “No. They’re having a play night next week. You don’t have to be a member of the club to participate in the occasional newbie nights.”
“But you want...you want me to make friends?” And relax. He wanted me to make friends with other pups and relax.
I still wasn’t sure what I thought about it all.
“Yes.” Then he charged right back in. “If you’re not ready for something like that, then it’s perfectly understandable. They have new member nights a few times a year, so we can think about it later.”
“If I’m being honest, I have no idea what’s going through my head.” I felt almost useless, having to admit that.
Noah didn’t seem to think that was a terrible answer, though. His arms wrapped around me and he pulled me tight to his side. “That makes sense. This is a lot to...well, a lot to process. Maybe I should have brought it up differently, but this was just...it was...”
“It was a good surprise. I’d have never guessed.” I loved the way he chuckled
and some of his fears faded.
“You like surprises.”
“You’re going to have a hard time beating this next year.” Hell, it would take something so outside the box we wouldn’t even be able to see the box to outdo this surprise.
“So you don’t hate it?” The way Noah kept going back to that fear made me realize how much he wanted me to love it and how much it meant to him.
I took a deep breath, mentally acknowledging I hadn’t always been the easiest person to talk to about things like this. “I don’t hate it.”
Handing him back the computer, I reached for the hood I’d set aside. “I like the blue.”
Stroking my fingers over the ears and down the muzzle, I tried to imagine wearing it. My mind just couldn’t picture it. “You think I’d look...cute in it?”
Pups were cute, not pretty, right? Sexy would probably be a better word.
“You’d look very cute.” Noah reached out a hand and traced over it alongside mine. “I think you’d look beautiful.”
There was something in his voice that made my heart clench. “The pups looked happy.”
And horny.
“I want you to be happy and relaxed.” Noah leaned closer and rested his head against mine. “You never really relax anymore. There’s always work or something running through your head. I’m not criticizing, and I don’t feel neglected or unloved or anything negative. You always make time for me. You just don’t...you don’t have any time where you let everything go.”
Rationally, I could see where he was coming from, but I just wasn’t sure this was the option. “My first thought would have been to suggest a hobby if the situation were reversed.”
Noah actually laughed. “Really? Your answer to anything I find stressful is to completely distract me with sex or something like tying me up. You’re saying I should have suggested you take up knitting or something?”
Okay, maybe not.
The image made me chuckle. “Not knitting, but I don’t know...something...”
Noah seemed to take that as a challenge. “So what if I’d suggested a book club? Not my thing exactly, but you like to read.”
