by Zoha Kazemi
“It will be dry season soon!” she says from the boat deck.
“That’s why we’re running out of time. As soon as the rains stop, Mart will give the war order… The soldier boats might already be on their way to Atlan,” Tirad replies. Dalia points at the large Avij Ship that Asin’s boat is lying in its shadow like a baby in her mother’s arm.
“The Ship lights are being turned off! We should get going…” Dalia says. Tirad looks outside. He gets out and gets the paddles and waits for the deck lights to be turned off, although they usually keep some dim lights on, throughout the deck, cabin entrances and above the ladders. The Avij guards usually stand at such lighted points. It’s a mistake that they are not aware of since they have never had a serious runaway or an intruder before. They don’t know standing in the spotlights makes them visible from the sea and by people like Tirad who want to get away, and at the same time, puts the sea in complete darkness! But Tirad is not planning to pass in front of the deck. He will sail from behind the ship where the cabins are and a narrow path from the deck continues behind the cabin building, circling back to the deck again. There is only one guard on this narrow corridor. Dalia goes to the platform and pretends filling her bucket with seawater. She unties the boat rope. A night guard looks down from the deck. Dalia waves at him saying goodnight and the guard waves back. She is sure he hasn’t noticed her untying the boat. The guard walks to the eastern side of the deck. Dalia tells Tirad it’s time to go. Tirad starts rowing to the back of the ship.
Chapter 33
The Ship horn blows three times. Lealy leaves her patient on the bed; she hasn’t finished dressing all her wounds yet. She is her thirty-first patient in the five months that she has spent on Parsana. She has been training and practicing her healing profession under Ashid’s supervision and has learnt a lot from her. She never allows herself to ask a patient’s name or become acquainted with them. The Parsana patients usually don’t survive long and knowing their name and life stories would make their everyday passing very difficult for her. She will do whatever she can to tend to them without feeling sorry or compassionate towards them, let alone becoming attached. If she doesn’t need to, she won’t even care to know if the patient is male or female. Ashid has been kind to her, answering her questions with care and introducing her to new treatments and medicines. Lealy knows now how the Saviour Ship healer-maids were so dilettante. She had lost many patients due to her inexperience while she could treat them easily, but she didn’t know how. She is not to blame. The Saviour Ship should have given them better chances to read and learn and even get professional training from healers of Parsana. Lealy follows the sound she hears from the deck, walks out of the eastern Parsana corridor to see what’s going on. The corridor is crowded and people are pushing each other to get out and see what’s happening. Lealy already knows, she had heard the three honking horn before on the Saviour Ship when the Atlan soldiers had attacked…
She was twelve then and the students were told not to get out of their cabins and take shelter until they clear the ship from the invading soldiers. Lealy was sitting next to the girls, hiding in their cabin. Tirad had come in and took shelter in her arms, turning her from an anxious girl into a safe haven for all those weaker than her. She still doesn’t know which instinct had woken inside her, a maternal or a sisterly love. Whatever it was, it had helped her later on when she started practicing medicine. Maybe she didn’t take Tirad in her arms because of a sisterly instinct, she needed to belong to someone or some place and Tirad had made her feel needed. They had sat by the cabin wall, covering their ears and waiting for hours until Hurmaz had finally honked the horn again in victory. Tirad has taken shelter in the arms of another woman now; he had run off and hid. Lealy should have known people don’t change so easily.
The Saviour Ship smelled of blood, gunpowder and burnt flesh for many days, the stench of fear and death. The sounds lingered much longer, they echoed in the wooden corridors and cabins for weeks, the sounds of guns firing, swords clashing, bodies tearing, blood splashing and people screaming in pain, falling and dying. The same goes for Oxan. She believes the whole island will forever be filled with the smell of smoke and fire and the burnt skins and flesh, and the screaming sound of women and children burning or drowning will always dwell under the roofed alleys. The horns of Parsana foretell a similar fate. The pouring rain fades the humming sound of the large Parsana crowd, gathered around from all three ships. Armina is standing next to Pejhan and Ashid in the first line of the crowd. She must have rushed out of her cabin forgetting her green scarf. Mart is standing before them! Lealy takes a step back, scared and worried but she is forced forward by the pushing crowd that has come out of the cabins. She stands listening to Mart who is surrounded by armed soldiers. He probably won’t recognise her, not in the fog and rain and amongst so many people, especially with the large, burn mark on her face that has become so slender due to the pain and calamities she has suffered. Mart has a megaphone in his hand and wants everyone to hear his voice. She shows a piece of paper to Armina.
“According to this peace treaty signed by the seventh Great Disciple, as long as Parsana doesn’t interfere with Oxan and the Saviour Ship affairs, it is safe to continue its activities…” he says and wants Armina to verify his words. Armina’s voice is not heard from where Lealy is standing but she can say from her gestures that she confirms this part of Mart’s words and is sceptic about the rest that is going to follow.
“Yet Parsana has undermined the peace treaty… It has given shelter to the disobedient disciples. We have turned a blind eye on the matter for so many years… But now, it has taken in Tirad, the greatest criminal of Oxan and the Saviour Ship!” Mart shouts, tearing up the peace treaty paper and throwing its pieces into Armina’s face. Armina is trying to object but Lealy can’t hear her. The crowd starts cursing Mart, but his soldiers leap towards them making them silent. Armina says something that makes Mart mad. He spits in her face and kicks her knees forcing her to kneel. Ashid and Pejhan try to comfort her.
“It doesn’t matter! Helping a fugitive escape is worse than taking him in! Tirad is no ordinary fugitive! He has burnt to death the poor refugees of the Oxan harbour; he is the killer of sea people… Now listen very carefully! Tirad has gone from your ship to Atlan and we are going to revenge the deaths of our brothers and sisters by invading Atlan and making them pay for it,” Mart says and points to the soldiers to keep the crowd quiet.
“We know that not all of you were involved in Tirad’s escape! We are going to give you a chance to prove your innocence! Anyone who declares to be innocent must come with us and fight alongside our soldiers. We have enough boats to take you all with us. And whoever stays behind, will die!” Mart finishes his speech. Lealy can’t see Armina properly, but Mart strikes her with his gun stock. The Parsana crowd moves towards the ladders, mostly women, children and the elderly. The remaining men and the Parsana guards attack the soldiers with knifes and start fighting. Lealy makes her way through them towards the cabin entrance. The fighters’ roars resonate in the corridors. Lealy rushes to her cabin, she is scared and feels dizzy. All this is Tirad’s fault, if had stayed and proved his innocence or had given himself in to the Circle, none of this would happen. She should have followed him to Avij and made him come back and stop all this bloodshed. But she didn’t have the courage to face him, scared of finding out he was indeed guilty of the crime. She preferred to stick to the possibility of his innocence.
There were other truths that she was afraid of. She preferred to think Ashid and Armina were wrong about Tirad’s marriage to Dalia. Whenever she felt down, she would think about Tirad and the hope of seeing him again one day, but not the way Armina had portrayed. If she accepted that Tirad was living with Dalia, she had nothing to look forward to. She already doesn’t have any hope and this false dream has made things worst. She had postponed her trip to Avij, giving herself many excuses, at first sailing in the stormy weather of the rain season was dangerou
s, then she needed to save more coins and at the end, she had patients that she was committed to take care of. She had heard the Saviour guards had raided Avij many times but hadn’t found Tirad. She was no longer sure whether he was on Avij or not? Why waste the trip? She had given into all the excuses and uncertainties to stay and stop looking for him. Now it is too late. She has to stay with Parsana defenders or join Mart’s army. It is finally time to choose! Fighting against Mart’s army had only one outcome: death! She already knows Armina, Pejhan and Ashid are dead among many professional healers of the ship. The sick patients and the curing hands of the healers that have never fought to kill cannot fight back the soldiers. They will all die, easily before nightfall!
Lealy hears footsteps in the corridor. She hides behind her cabin door. Her patient is gone. There is no one in the cabins and the corridor and the killings go on hastily on the ship deck. The Saviour soldiers had not allowed the healers to retreat to their cabins. But the footsteps somehow seem familiar to her. She looks from the gap in the cabin door. Mart and two soldiers walk down towards her cabin. Lealy rushes towards the trunk by the cabin wall. The trunk door is stock. She kneels before it and bangs her hand on the metal door of the trunk until it finally flaps open. Mart and the soldiers enter the cabin. The soldiers point their guns at her but Mart tells them to lower their guns. Lealy searches the bottom of the trunk with her fingers and she finally finds what she is looking for, a small, black, glass bottle. She slowly turns to Mart as she is sitting on her knees, hiding the bottle behind her back.
“Well! Look who’s here! I heard you got out of the fire alive! What are you doing here?” Mart says mockingly. Lealy doesn’t answer. The soldiers point their guns at her again.
“I want this one alive! This is the best healer-maid of the Saviour Ship!” Mart says to the soldiers pointing at Lealy.
“You must have learnt a lot in here!” Mart addresses Lealy. She still doesn’t reply. She is waiting for the right moment to take out the bottle. Mart stands above her and looks down at her short hair and the large burn mark on her face. He speaks in a humiliating tone.
“You look terrible! Is that why Tirad abandoned you?” Mart sneers. Lealy murmurs curses at him and gives him an angry look. Mart plays with his chin beard pretending to be brooding. He pauses and looks at her with disdain and starts interrogating her.
“Was it you who helped Tirad run away? Huh? Have you hidden him somewhere? I know you are more than capable to hide that little snake even if it should be in your sleeves!” he says and swears at her. Lealy spits in his face. Mart wipes off the spit with the back of his hand and punches her in the face on her burn mark. He wants her to speak up, whatever it takes.
“Who knows? Maybe you started the fire yourself! No one survived those flames… How did you? Surnat and Soushia never got out!” he continues with the same mocking tone. Lealy looks into his eyes and answers.
“You have been telling yourself this lie so many times that you have actually believed it! You know well Tirad and I are innocent! All you do is shed more blood to keep your lie going!” Lealy says with rage. Mart laughs out loud and says well done to her in a belittling tone. Lealy knows he is only trying to humiliate her more. Mart steps away from her. She tries to take off the cork from the bottle, but it is difficult to do that behind her back.
“Of course! You and Tirad don’t have the guts to do such things! You are too weak and naïve. Don’t worry! Everyone is meant for something… You were made to clean up other peoples’ filths and Tirad… Well… He is good for nothing! Except to be a good pawn, a poor plaything,” Mart says grinning. He laughs and orders the soldiers to arrest her and take her out with them. Lealy resists. He won’t bring her feasted hands in front of her and she won’t get up. Mart leaps towards her and kicks her in her side. Lealy tries to keep her balance; she brings her hands out and takes out the cork with her teeth. She drinks up the whole bottle before Mart kicks it off her hand. The black bottle rolls down and stops by the trunk.
“What was that? Huh?” Mart shouts with rage. But Lealy doesn’t say a word. She feels the poison liquid sliding down her throat to her gullet, making way to her stomach. Mart sits on the floor and tries to bend Lealy’s neck so that she would throw up. But Lealy slides through Mart’s hands and falls on the floor. Mart gets up and furiously looks at the shelves filled with many bottles and tin boxes. He orders the soldiers to go and fetch one of the arrested healers. But Lealy knows it’s already too late. The pains in her stomach are spreading throughout her limps. She will go to seizure soon, trembling and foaming in her mouth. She wishes she could grin at Mart before she goes completely livid, her breath goes out and her heart stops. Perhaps Tirad was a good pawn but she didn’t let him play with her, not anymore. This victory, even though bitter with the taste of poison, makes her happy and if she still had the control of her lips, she would laugh at Mart. She doesn’t hear, see or feel anything anymore. She can’t feel Mart kicking her livid body nor hear him cursing and shouting aloud. She has her last dream before her eternal sleep: she sees the image of Hurmaz, hand in hand with Armina, waiting for her to join them.
Chapter 34
Dalia is not well. She has a high fever and won’t eat or drink. Tirad is taking care of her and sailing the boat. The rain has stopped since that afternoon, even though the sky is still cloudy. Tirad stares ahead at the dark horizon; he should be able to see the Parsana lights from here, unless he has sailed in the wrong direction. But he can’t see any lights ahead. He is not sure if they are lost or he hasn’t estimated the distance correctly. Dalia knows these things better, but she has gotten worst and is a bit delirious right now. Tirad had sailed faster since the sky cleared and the rains stopped to get help for Dalia from the Parsana healers. He is worried and doesn’t know what to do to save Dalia and her baby. The more he stares ahead, the more afraid he becomes. What if he has sailed in a wrong direction and has to go back? Dalia won’t survive with this high temperature. He turns off the engine and goes to the cabin. Dalia mistakes him with her mother and talks gibberish in Atlan language. Tirad puts some moist cloth on her forehead and cheeks and kisses her dried lips. Dalia looks at him strangely as if she has just noticed his presence. She says in a weak voice, “Take me to my mother…please!” Tirad kisses her again and wants her not to talk. He gently puts the moist cloth on Dalia’s belly. The baby starts kicking. He keeps his hand there to feel the embryo moving in Dalia’s body. Last year as the dry season started, he never imagined that the next dry season, he would become a father. All he cared for back then was to enter the Circle and please Hurmaz. But he hadn’t finished his missions and had only proved himself to be naïve and a coward. He didn’t think Hurmaz wouldn’t live to see another dry season. If he had, he would blame him for his continuous failures. But he needs to prove himself differently, for the sake of the baby, moving smoothly under his hand. Many years later, when he grows up, Dalia would tell him about his father who had sacrificed his life and honour to end the war and stop the bloodshed. His son would be proud of him and would quarrel with his friends that want to condemn his father as a criminal. Dalia opens her eyes and takes his arm.
“Promise me…please!” she says. Tirad caresses her head.
“I will promise…” he says gently.
“Promise me you’ll take me to my mother…” she says and falls asleep, moaning. Tirad promises her even though she probably can’t hear him anymore. He promises to ask Armina to send her and the baby to Asin’s island. Dalia’s lips are dry. Tirad pours some drinking water from a jar into her mouth, but the water slides down her lips. Tirad feels so hopeless. He can’t even take care of another person. He doesn’t know how to tend to her and make her live through the illness. He wants to shout out loud, from the bottom of his voice, but he feels his throat is blocked. He feels suffocated and sits right there, putting his head between his knees, crying. His back won’t straighten and his legs can’t carry his weight. He feels heavier than a corpse, as if all
the dead bodies of the Oxan harbour, Hurmaz, Lealy and Narivan are on one of his shoulders and the heavy weight of the loneliness he feels in this vast, endless sea is pressing on his other shoulder.
Dalia moans again in her sleep. Tirad sees the baby pressing against her mother’s belly. This is not the time to give in and bend under the heavy burden of past faults. He inhales a deep breath and lets it out slowly. If he hesitates now, he will be crushed by the regret of losing Dalia before the dark loneliness of the sea brings him down on his knees. He has to save Dalia and the baby. He gets up and goes to the wheel. The raindrops fall on the glass shields of the wheel area. Tirad checks the maps and the compasses again. He must have reached Parsana according to his route. He takes the flashlight and shines it around on the sea and the dark horizon ahead. He is on the right track. The shadows of three large ships appear on the horizon. Tirad speeds up towards them.
There are no sounds coming out of the ships and no lights! Tirad turns off the engine and rows towards the eastern ship platform. The ship seems to be abandoned. Maybe these ships are not Parsana and he has come to the wrong place. But there are no other three side by side ships in the area, unless he doesn’t know about them like he didn’t know Parsana existed till last year. He shines the flashlight to the gap between the ships, hoping to see the floating bridge he had crosses over before with difficulty. There is no bridge between the ships or maybe they just hang the bridge in the dry season and the rains still continue. Tirad approaches the small, pier platform. His boat lights are on and the guards must have seen him by now. Tirad ties his boat to the pier pin and looks around. There are no other boats nearby. He has to go up and see what is going on and why nobody has come down to see the newcomer. He takes his torch and fixes the flashlight on the ladder to go up more easily. But he can’t climb this ladder, no one can!
