Lifetime Risk

by MEGAN MATTHEWS

  As soon as I open the door to the bakery, it’s obvious something is off. Not only is there a charge in the atmosphere, but three girls behind the bakery counter jumping up and down and squealing in delight isn’t something you see every day. Even at the bakery.

  “Josie, look!” Winnie yells, grabbing ahold of Tabitha’s hand and holding it up in the air like she just won a boxing match.

  A hefty square diamond sparkles in the light from the bakery. It’s not the size of the ring that catches my attention, but what finger she wears it on.

  “You got engaged?” The next thing I want to ask is to who, but everyone knows she’s dating Ridge. There’s no way he’d let anyone else close to her. Let alone with a ring.

  “He did it last night, and I said yes.”

  “How did he ask you?” I walk over and inspect the ring closer. It’s what you do when a friend gets engaged. I may not know her well, but I consider Tabitha a friend.

  She reddens. “Um, that part is private.”

  My eyes widen and I look back at Nate, but he is sharing a moment with another tall guy wearing the same matching black polo shirt as him. They look at one another as if exchanging private communication, one that says “girls are crazy.”

  “You next, Nate?” his friend asks.

  Nate widens his eyes and then narrows them on his friend. “Shut up, Crispin.”

  I slap him on the shoulder, but his friends only laugh.

  “You wait, buddy. One day it will happen to you.”

  Crispin scoffs at the idea and crosses his arms as if he can protect himself in the women’s presence. “The last thing I’m gonna do is put a ring on some girl’s finger.”

  I step back and watch the excitement as Tabitha continues to show each of her friends the ring and each woman takes the time to admire the jewel. Just as friends should.

  Memories cloud the moments as I remember what it was like getting engaged to my ex. There wasn’t anything fancy about it. I knew he planned to pop the question. Barry wasn’t ever very smooth. He asked my ring size, and when I didn’t know, he took me to a store to get fitted. I suppose in the grand scheme of things it’s what every girl should want. He proposed at a big family dinner with four generations in attendance. His mother, his grandmother, and even a great-grandmother. She died three months later but was there to watch him pass down the family heirloom — a ring each generation of woman before her had worn. As her son married, she picked out a bigger prettier ring as a condolence prize.

  Barry and I were the first people in his family to divorce. I often find myself wondering at night if he’ll propose to his new bimbo girlfriend with the same ring or if our situation has tainted it and they’ll have to start over with something new. Most of those thoughts stopped the day after his mother called me and explained that Lancaster men have a tendency for wandering hands, but you just have to suck it up and deal. In her opinion three generations of them didn’t stay married for so long by getting divorced over the smallest indiscretion.

  That conversation put a lot of things into perspective for me.

  “Once you’re married, he’ll end up strapping a body camera to you.” Winnie laughs at her joke, but Tabitha scowls thinking on it for a second and wondering if it’s true.

  “No, he’s already bugged her phone with GPS. What more does he need?” Nate says, laughing as Tabitha rolls her eyes.

  She shrugs, not denying the fact Ridge is tracking her cell phone. “He asked at the right time. And people around here have a tendency to get kidnapped.”

  Kidnapped? I look to Nate with her words, but he shakes his head.

  “You got hit with a truck. Can you judge her?”

  My eyes widen and I slap him with the back of my hand again. “You hit me with the truck.”

  He smirks. “It’s an unconventional method, but it worked.”

  Only because my ankle is so much better and I’m ready to go back to work, I allow the joke to continue. Who laughs about hitting someone with a truck? What is wrong with people in this town?

  “Did you have a good time?” Nate asks as he pulls back in my apartment parking lot.

  After everyone finished admiring Tabitha’s ring and she continued refusing to explain how he proposed, we celebrated with cake and I even purchased a piece to bring back for Emma. It’s better than anything I could make from a Duncan Hines box.

  “I did. Thanks for taking me.” I’ve never been with someone who not only realizes when I need a little support, but acts on it to help me out. But spending the last few hours with friends in the bakery helped so I didn’t miss Emma so much.

  “What the fuck?” Nate asks, and I’m on high alert. My eyes scan the parking lot looking for whatever he sees.

  Barry, with his hair gelled back, knocks three times on my car window, a scowl across his face.

  I check the clock radio seconds before Nate turns off the car. We still had forty minutes before he was supposed to drop off Emma.

  He steps back to get out of the door, and before my feet are even settled, he’s passed Emma to my waiting hands.

  “Where have you been?” He spits the question at me in disgust, as if he’d been waiting around for an entire day.

  Emma looks at her dad, scared. She’s never liked hearing him yell. Nate tenses beside me and I worry what will happen if I allow these two men to stand off in the parking lot. Thinking quickly, I pass Emma over to Nate to occupy his hands.

  “Can you take her upstairs?” She shouldn’t see her parents fight.

  “Josie?” he asked, his eyes wide with displeasure.

  “Please, Nate.” I can handle Barry. I’ve been doing it for years. But I don’t want Emma to see him lose his temper.

  I place more weight on my hurt ankles to keep my balance as Nate walks with Emma to the apartment door. A small tingle of pain coils itself around my ankle, and it’s the first bout I’ve had in the last few hours.

  “Well?” he asks again, but I’ve already forgotten the original question.

  I cross my arms. Screw him. I’m no longer the sad little girl who got married too young and puts up with his bull crap. “Why are you here so early?” He never drops Emma off a minute earlier than he’s ordered. I swear he used to drive around the block making sure she didn’t make it back a second earlier when I wanted her.

  “Where were you, Josie? Did you spend the night at his place?”

  My mouth drops open, mostly because he has the audacity to ask that question. We’re divorced. “No, I did not sleep over at his place.” I leave out the part where he slept at mine. I’ve never been to Nate’s house, and I get lost in the small moment thinking I need to invite myself over and see where he lives.

  I must make sure he is not hiding a secret family somewhere. Not that I expect him to be that kind of guy, but I also didn’t expect it of Barry either. I used to think he was too honest to keep secrets. Ha.

  “I don’t like Emma’s mother out running the streets.”

  “Excuse me?” What street does he think I’m running around? “Is Pelican Bay a dangerous town in your opinion?”

  He has no concern over what I’m doing. He’s only pissed because he thinks I’m having fun. Barry doesn’t like the fact I’m seeing Nate. He’s allowed to move on, but I never should in his opinion.

  “You should concern yourself with raising our daughter rather than someone you’re sleeping with.”

  When he gets out this outrageous, it’s easy to ignore him. I roll my eyes and step to the side, ready to walk in the apartment. I can pick up her bag of clothes later.

  “Don’t walk away from me,” he says grabbing onto my arm.

  I rip out of his grasp. “You’re only pissed off because I’m dating someone, Barry. At least Nate is of proper age.” He’s older than me, rather than ten years younger.

  The comment works as Barry hesitates for a moment before he stomps over to his car and retrieves the overstuffed diaper bag I packed for Emma. He practically throws it in m
y direction, and I’m forced to put more weight on my hurt ankle to reach out and grab it.

  “Next time I drop her off, make sure you’re here on time.”

  Next month it’s my responsibility to drop her off and pick her up at his house per our divorce agreement, but I don’t waste any breath telling him that because it won’t do any good.

  Barry has always only thought of himself and will always only think of himself.

  The noise from an electric toothbrush stops and the bathroom door opens, directly followed by a tall, ridiculously gorgeous man walking out with his hair dripping wet. Drops of water glisten in the light and as they drop to the floor, only a few are stopped when they hit the towel he has wrapped around his waist. Even though I’m positive I’m awake, I pinch myself to make sure this isn’t a dream. Who thought me, Josie Summerton, would ever experience this sight in the flesh?

  Nate smiles, shaking his head twice like he doesn’t know why am staring at him — silly man — and then walks back into the bathroom to finish his morning routine. I’d volunteer to rub him down and dry him off, but I need to get myself together too.

  It’s a Monday morning and I should return to work today, but I haven’t been able to get ahold of anyone at the office and my doctor’s note covers me a few more days. So I’m stuck here spending time with Emma.

  It’s a rough life. Not.

  I wish I could stay home all the time with her. At least for these few formative years before she goes off to school, but I need the money and a girl has to do what a girl has to do.

  “I need to go home and get more clothes today,” Nate says from the bathroom.

  “I’ve never been to your house. I should go with you.” My tactic is not subtle at all, but nothing between Nate and me has been normal.

  He stops in his tracks, and for a second I worry he’ll say no. But then he smirks. “A few more days and I’ll take you home to meet my parents.”

  Nate drops the towel in front of me and the only thing that gets me through him dressing is that he has to go into the office today. They have a meeting he must be on time for.

  We cannot have sex.

  We most definitely cannot have sex.

  Actually, I have no idea if Ridge’s building is an actual office. I have serious trouble picturing Nate sitting behind a desk typing at a keyboard while pushing a thinly framed pair of glasses up higher on his nose and tucking his pen into a pocket protector. It’s very unlikely any of that goes on when he goes into work. Plus he doesn’t even wear glasses. He didn’t tell me what work he had to do today, only that Ridge called a meeting, and he needed to be there.

  It’s so weird to be spending time planning my day with a guy again. I mean we broke out calendars last night and wrote joint appointments for the next month. Nate had a lot of work commitments in his that he has throughout the week where mine is spend time with Emma, feed Emma, play with Emma, put Emma to bed, work. It’s the gesture that counts. I’ve never aligned calendars before. It’s weird.

  And wonderful.

  It makes me think this is what normal relationships are like. Two people talking and sharing their lives and time together.

  I didn’t even realize what I’d been missing out on in my past with Barry.

  When Nate leaves the bathroom for the third time, he’s clothed and my libido sighs in defeat. She never gives up full hope.

  He plants a quick but respectful kiss on my cheek. “I hate that I’m leaving you all day today. If Ridge didn’t make it mandatory, I would stay home.”

  “Nate, don’t be ridiculous. My ankle is fine. See?” I say twisting my ankle in all different circles. Sometimes I think the guilt over the fact he caused the injury makes him a little extra crazy about it.

  “I called Winnie to come and check on you.”

  I roll my eyes, but he doesn’t even flinch. “Nate, I don’t need a babysitter.”

  “She’s not here to babysit you. She’ll stop by to check in and see if you need anything. Plus I have my cell phone.”

  With annoyance, I roll out of bed, not happy about starting the day but willing to do what I need to do if it will ease his nerves.

  “I feel fine, really. Look, I could dance a jig.” I never took dance lessons in school, so I have no idea what a jig is. I try faking a tap dance on my bedroom carpet, but my ankle comes down weirdly on a step and I cringe.

  “Yeah,” Nate says, shaking his head and putting his hand against my elbow. “Don’t do that.”

  “What? I could’ve been an Irish dancer.” If he plans to make comments about my dancing, I have to stick up for myself.

  He laughs. “I’ll contact the Riverdance guys for you. Set up an audition.”

  I’m in too deep now and can only pray he’s joking. “You do that. Of course, I’d have to be on the road all the time dancing and who would take care of Emma.”

  He kisses me on the temple, this one lasting longer. “I guess you’ll just have to miss out on your dream.”

  “It’ll be a travesty, but I’ll do it for Emma.”

  “Yes, for Emma.”

  A door closes and I freak out for a second worried Emma is walking around the apartment letting herself outside. Nate goes on high alert, his body frozen, but then Winnie’s voice breaks through and calms the storm.

  8

  “I’m letting myself in.”

  I walk out to the living room and find Winnie standing at the dining room table taking off her shoes.

  “Oh, you haven’t left?” Winnie asks. “Huxley left about ten minutes ago.”

  Nate steps behind me and passes off Emma to my waiting arms. She rubs her eyes groggily, not a morning person today. “Shit, I have to go.”

  He pulls on Emma’s pigtail and gives us each a kiss on the forehead before almost running out the door as he grabs a set of keys from the kitchen table on his way.

  “Long night?” Winnie asks with one eyebrow a little higher on her face and a smirk written across her lips.

  I sputter and shake my head no. “We we’re just talking.”

  “Uh-huh. Huxley and I did a lot of talking when we first met, too.”

  Emma reaches out for Winnie, and surprisingly she takes her without a second thought.

  “If you will hold her for a second, I will get some breakfast around.”

  “No problem,” Winnie says, bouncing Emma on her hip and talking to her in a baby voice. “In all seriousness, I’m glad you and Nate worked out. He’s a nice guy.”

  “He is a nice guy,” I agree.

  “Sometimes Ridge’s guys have a tendency to be…”

  I peek out from the kitchen where I’m pouring cereal for Emma. “Over the top?”

  Winnie smiles. “Yes, exactly. Huxley didn’t work for Ridge before he came here, but he fits in with all them. They’re all bossy.”

  I nod, glad to hear I’m not the only one experiencing a bossy guy, even if it seems that way.

  “And if you’re not careful, they will move right in and take over your life.”

  I pick my head up in the kitchen again. “You too?” I hadn’t thought about it until she said something, but Nate’s been here for at least the last three days and shows no signs of leaving. Even said he’ll bring over more clothes. It’s not that I don’t like the idea. I’m fine with him staying here, but how did I get a live-in boyfriend?

  And who will tell my mother?

  I’ll wait until Christmas dinner to drop that bombshell. She wouldn’t let a little thing like me dating someone ruin her Christmas meal. Probably.

  “They take over your life. Don’t they?”

  Winnie sighs. “Yeah, but do you want him to stop?”

  I shrug, but we both know the answer is no.

  “Katy’s downstairs. She says Pearl is pruning the flowers in the pots on the side of your apartment,” Winnie says trying to keep herself from laughing.

  I don’t know Winnie or Katy all that well, but one thing I can tell you is when you say you need something
done, these two step into action. Less than thirty minutes ago I made the comment I needed to get to my storage unit and find Emma’s baby book so I can put in her first lock of hair after I get it cut this month. I wasn’t planning on being in the apartment this long, so I put the book in storage not thinking I’d need it. Now I don’t want to get her hair trimmed until I have a place to put the first clippings. She’s gone past the cute messy bedhead look to unruly. It was one offhanded comment and the next thing I knew Winnie said she’d messaged Katy, who was on her way. I said no because I didn’t have a babysitter, but Katy called Pearl on her way and picked her up before getting here. Every office I’ve ever worked for searched for the synergy these ladies have together.

  I’ve only seen the aging hippie around town a few times, but Winnie promised she could handle Emma. Called her spunky.

  When the two of them get together with a plan, it’s hard not to just go along with it. They get you swept away in the moment. Everything is an adventure.

  Even if it shouldn’t be.

  Like this simple run to a storage unit to collect a baby book.

  Another minute passes while we wait for Pearl and I contemplate how dead the flowers are in the pots down below. It’s gotten to the point I don’t pay attention anymore. The big overflowing flowerpots blend into the background when I walk into the building. Eventually, right as I’m in the middle of mentally calculating the number of pots she’s cleaning, there’s a knock on the door and Winnie jumps up to answer it for Katy and Pearl.

  Pearl wanders into the apartment following Katy, her eyes sweeping the room in every direction. The long pink tie-dyed dress, which reaches her ankles, sways with her movements as she walks. Her hair isn’t in the braid I’ve seen previous times but pulled back and put into a tight bun at the base of her neck. She looks a little more nanny-ish.

  “This place reeks of sex,” the older woman says as she stops in the middle of my living room.

  My face reddens and I swear my heart skips two beats as I stare her with my mouth hanging open.