There was already a long line of kids waiting to see Santa and get their pictures taken. Waving to them, Serena stood next to Santa on the plaza steps. “Santa is going to refuel with some of Mrs. Garza’s cookies before settling in to take pictures with you all. But first he wants to light up Port Del Mar with Christmas lights.”
“Ho, ho, ho,” Xavier exclaimed as he waved. And at the perfect time, the hundreds of lights wrapped around the trees came on in a wonderful flurry.
Tears burned her eyes. They’d always made a great team. This was how she’d pictured their future when they’d taken their vows. Before it had been derailed by his need to save the world. A world that needed saving.
They walked across the courtyard to the library.
Was she being selfish? Had the divorce been due to her hurt pride and feelings or had they truly grown apart?
Elijah opened the door, and once inside the conference room, the two men hugged.
Xavier yanked off the hat and beard. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see you, Elijah.”
The men disappeared into a smaller room. After a few minutes, Xavier and a new Santa stepped out.
“Thank you so much, Elijah.” Selena hugged him.
Jazz took a couple of pictures of her husband, and then she took his hand. “Come on, big guy. Your fans are waiting.”
Xavier sat in one of the large leather chairs with a heavy sigh. “Well, that was something I never thought I’d do.”
“You did great. You even sounded jolly.” She giggled. “You, Mr. Scrooge, saved the town parade, just like a hero in a good Christmas story.”
She took his hand, but he pulled away from her.
“If I’d been a real hero, I would have gone to the plaza and listened to all those kids’ Christmas wishes.”
“It’s okay.” She crouched in front of him, her palms flat on his knees. “You and Elijah make a great team. We all do better when we work together.”
He flopped his head back. “Well, at least I didn’t have to lie to anyone.”
“What do you mean?”
“For some of those kids out there, their Christmas wishes won’t come true, no matter how good they are or how much they believe. You know that as well as I do. How many Christmases did it take you to figure out it was all a scam?”
Tears sprang to her eyes. “Oh, Xavier. It’s not a scam. Christmas is hope. I want every kid here today to get a gift. There’s a large team of elves to make that happen.”
“And what stops their parents from returning those gifts for cash, so they can get more—” He lowered his head into his hands. “I’m so sorry, Selena. You’ve worked so hard to make this right. I shouldn’t be here.”
“This is bringing up some major issues for you. I’m not naive. I know that, for some of these kids, this doesn’t take away the hardships they’ve had to live through, but maybe it will help one or two find some joy and hope. Sometimes that’s all we need to keep moving forward. Trusting that God has us all in His hands. That’s what you taught me. Part of what drives me is how your father raised you. Hardships are one thing, but your father was cruel and abusive.”
He stared at her for a long moment. “There’s so much of my life I wish I could forget, but you were everything good.” His gaze went past her. “Why are we in here when all your Christmas memories are happening out there?”
She stood and sighed. “You’re right. We can talk later. Will you join me? At least for a little bit? I know the crowds and lights can be too much, so you can come back here when—”
He put his cowboy hat on and took her hand. “Show me your Christmas town. Let’s give my brain a few new Christmas triggers.” He winked.
As they walked across to the plaza, people greeted them, including Cassie who had Sawyer on the harness so he wouldn’t get lost in the crowd.
Selena nodded to the old-fashioned sleigh they’d brought in where people could pose for pictures against a backdrop of trees covered with fake snow. “Will you help me get the boys over there so I can get pictures?” He nodded. She watched him go and went to retrieve Finn from her father. Her eyes burned. Everything was too perfect. One lesson she learned well. When life was too good to be true, it was all about to go south.
* * *
Xavier paused as the words to “Silver Bells” stirred memories. Riff was holding Finn as they sang. This was the life Selena had always wanted, the life he had promised her.
Would he mess it all up if he tried to become part of it? Behind him, she laughed. Finn in his arms, he turned to find her. She was talking to a young couple he didn’t recognize. They had a baby bundled up in their arms. He looked at his son, already a toddler, and thought of everything he had missed in the lives of his triplets.
He had to sit. Finn was babbling about something, but he couldn’t focus. Nodding, he held the boy closer. All the feelings he had for Selena bombarded his brain.
Each was tied to images of their life together. She was his heart, his reason for everything he did. He had known that, but now he felt it. The love, the joy, the pain and the heartache. Everything up to— He closed his eyes and tried to grab the last year before he left. But the memory eluded him.
“Xavier?” Riff sat on the bench next to him. “Everything okay, man?”
“I’m not sure.” He turned to his father-in-law. “I loved her so much. I walked out on her. I left. Why?”
The older man shrugged. “That’s who you are. Some things we just can’t change about ourselves.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“Like I said earlier, I don’t give advice anymore.” He sighed. “But I’ll tell you the same thing I’ve told my daughter. You have to be true to what God has put in your heart. If you follow that, everything else will fall into place.”
Selena waved to them. Finn pushed against him, eager to get to her. “Mama.”
Xavier put the toddler on the ground and he took off toward his mother. Selena had Oliver, and Jazmine stood with Cassie and Sawyer. Selena waved at him to join them.
The shine from all the lights sparkled in her eyes. This was his family. Did the last few months before he left matter if they focused on the here and now?
He turned to Riff. “Did you know she had divorce papers drawn up?”
Riff grunted. “She was hurting when you left that last time. You were both hurting.” He slapped Xavier on the shoulder. “But that was then. Today is a new day, so let’s live in the moment. I would think that would be one of the blessings of losing memories. All you have is today. No baggage. Let all that go and enjoy your family.” He stood and walked over to the sleigh.
As he gazed at his boys, the faces of other children came into his mind. Children he didn’t know. Children lost, children who needed him. Something was telling him he had to go to Colombia then come back here and work things out. At least be a father to his sons if he couldn’t be a husband to his wife.
The sounds of his boys’ excited voices drew him back. Still in their elf costumes, Oliver and Finn were settled on a green-and-red-plaid blanket on the seat of the antique sleigh. But Sawyer jumped down as soon as Selena stepped back to take the picture.
“Cookie! Cookie!” he screamed, as he tried to run past the adults. Luna barked as she and Xavier cut him off.
He picked up the screeching toddler. “A picture for your mama, then we’ll go and...” He scanned the area for something to do other than feed his son more sugar.
A few feet away, there was a tent where kids could make an ornament for the tree. He shuddered at the thought of glitter, but duty called.
He grinned at Selena as he sat the third triplet next to his brothers. He motioned for Luna to sit on the floor next to the squirming boys. “Who wants to make ornaments?” They all clapped.
Talking to the boys, Selena took several pictures with her phone.
“Luna looks so cute in the scarf Buelita made for her. We could market doggy scarfs.”
Then Sawyer pulled Oliver’s hat off, causing the smallest triplet to cry. Finn tried to escape over the back of the sleigh, but Xavier was there to catch him before he fell to the ground. Chuckling, Selena took a few more pictures of the chaos. “I think they’re done.”
Riff put Finn on his shoulders and gathered Luna’s leash. “I’ll go get Buelita, then we can head to the craft tent. Does that work?”
“Yes. Very much yes.” He turned to Selena. “Do you need anything else from us?”
“No.” She stood in front of him and searched his eyes. “Thank you. You made today perfect. You definitely went above and beyond fatherly duty.”
His hand settled on her neck as his thumb stroked her face. “Thank you for trusting me to help you.” Finn roared like a lion for no apparent reason and Luna barked. The moment was gone. “I left my phone in the room when I changed from the Santa suit. I’ll just go and grab it, then I’ll help your dad get the boys to the craft tent.”
Stepping back, she nodded.
If he could just let everything go and live in the moment, life would be easier. But his life was never meant to be easy.
Selena deserved a full-time husband, and he couldn’t guarantee he could be that right now. He had too much unfinished business.
With a tilt of her head, she studied him. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Then he turned and left. It was easier.
Chapter Fourteen
Selena brushed the dirt off Oliver’s jeans, readying him to go make his ornament. But Xavier hadn’t returned yet. He should have been back by now. She glanced over her shoulder to check on Sawyer, who had gone with the girls to look at the miniature horses as they waited. A man she didn’t know was crouching in front of him. Heart racing, she scooped up Oliver and rushed over to them.
He was speaking Spanish. “I’m looking for your father.” He was holding something out to Sawyer.
“Excuse me, do I know you?” She took her son’s hand and moved him behind her. The man stood. He was a little shorter than her with light brown hair.
Over the man’s shoulder, she saw her father and Belle racing toward her. When they made eye contact, they slowed down, but didn’t stop moving.
The stranger held his hands up and continued speaking in Spanish. “I was just speaking to your fine little man. I’m looking for his father. Xavier De La Rosa. I’m a business associate.”
“What business would that be?” She took a deep breath to slow the blood pounding in her veins. It wouldn’t do to jump to the worst conclusions. On the other hand, trusting him would be stupid. Her gut told her to stay on guard.
“I’m Juan Carlos Ramirez. I need to speak with him. I’m not here to cause harm.”
Everything in her screamed to not trust him. Her heart rate ramped up again, and her skin suddenly felt too tight for her body.
“He’s not here.”
“I have come a long distance. He has information that I need.”
Her father picked up Sawyer. “Do you have a business card? If we see him, we’ll pass on your contact information.”
Belle stood on the other side of her. “Do I need to call anyone?” she asked Selena. “Elijah? The sheriff?”
The stranger put up his hands. “I’m not here to cause trouble. I just need to speak to Xavier De La Rosa.”
A warm hand gently touched her back and when she recognized the touch, she felt her muscles let go of the tension. She looked up at her husband.
He turned to Riff. “Why don’t you and Belle take the kids to make their ornaments? Buelita’s over there with Finn.”
With a nod, Riff and Belle moved the kids away to the craft booth at the far end of the plaza.
Leaning into him, everything in her world righted and she could breathe again. Xavier stood there, glaring at the man across from her.
The stranger’s glance followed the boys as they left, and then returned to Xavier. “Those are some very cute boys you have there. You must be a proud father. Children are blessings reminding us of the innocence of life.” He held his hand out. Xavier ignored it.
Clearing his throat, the man briefly looked down before continuing. “Your wife just informed me that you weren’t here. I’m Juan Carlos Ramirez. I’m hearing rumors you might know what happened to my cousin’s little boy. Diego Puentes.”
“I just arrived. I don’t know anything about Diego Puentes.” He held up his phone. “I was just contacted by a friend of mine that might help with this situation.”
“My family is concerned about what happened to the boy. You were the last one with him.”
“Like I said, I have no knowledge of this boy. But I can call the sheriff for you and he can help you.”
“No. No. The law is not needed.”
Luna stood rigid next to Xavier. To an outsider, her husband looked relaxed, as though he didn’t have a care in the world, but Selena knew better. Every muscle in his body was ready to attack. This was not a friendly situation. Should she alert the police, or would that make this worse?
“Is there somewhere more private we can speak?” The man scanned the area around them. He rubbed his hands on his dress pants.
“No. I’m sorry. There was an accident. I have severe memory loss. I can’t help you. But if you give me your information, I will pass it on to my buddies that might be able to get what you need.”
She relaxed her shoulders and unclenched her fists. She was torn between wanting to run with the boys and not wanting to leave Xavier here by himself.
This man obviously had something to do with Colombia, and Xavier didn’t have the memories to take care of the situation properly.
The stranger handed Xavier a card. “Working with my family can be very profitable.”
He took the card but didn’t say anything.
Xavier shifted so that he could talk to her without the man hearing. “Trent’s in town with Beto. He left a message for me. Go hang out with the boys while I make the call. I want to make sure Juan Carlos is occupied before we head home.”
Moving her head closer to his, she lowered her voice. “Is this dangerous? Do I need to call the sheriff?”
He gave her hand a slight squeeze. “No. Trent and Beto will handle it. I hate that he was here in your town because of me.”
“You’re not doing anything, are you?”
“No. Just calling Trent. Go celebrate with the boys. Keep them close. I’ll be there as soon as I speak with them, and I’ll let you know what’s going on. Okay?”
She nodded, then headed to the boys. That last part was new. In the past he’d never told her anything about his work.
A group of kids ran past her, laughing. All the Christmas wonder in the world couldn’t stop the roll her stomach was taking. This couldn’t be good.
* * *
Selena sat in the dark, alone in the quiet house hours later as she waited for Xavier. After they had arrived home, he’d left to meet with Trent.
He had assured her that everything was fine, but she needed to see him.
In some ways, it took her back to the days of covert missions and long-distance trips. Except that this time she knew what he was doing. No more secrets. She sipped her warm tea, but it wasn’t bringing its usual tranquility.
A distraction would be good right about now. There were seven stockings on the fireplace mantel. She had added one for Xavier. Each of their names were hand painted across the top.
The image of the perfect Christmas.
Luna stood, her tail wagging. Then seconds later Selena heard the door click shut. She put down her cup and unfolded her legs.
Xavier stopped in the doorway. “It’s late.” He grunted. “Or really early. Whichever way you look at it, you had a long day. You should be asleep.”
>
“I never did sleep much when you were out saving the world. This is nothing new for me.”
He sat on the sofa next to her chair. “Was it better after you were told I was dead?”
Before answering, she gave that question a lot of thought. “In some ways, yes. But then I had different worries. If I could have done something differently. How I was going to raise the boys without you. The business. The ranch. How I’d keep this big old house that needed so much work. There was no shortage of stuff to worry about. I did get better at turning my worries over to God.”
“I’m so sorry, Selena.”
“That man...is he a threat?”
He fell back against the sofa and ran his hand through his hair. “I hate that my work has brought any kind of threat into your town.”
She wanted to point out that it was his town, too, but if he didn’t see it that way, should she bother? Her body and mind were so tired. Holding her gaze steady, she waited for more information.
With a sigh, he sat up and met her eyes. “He’s part of the Colombian family I was hired to protect the boy from. Trent made it clear to him that staying in the States was not the best thing for his business. He also confirmed that the boy was killed in the ambush. Trent believes his family was hired the rebels to attack us.”
She shifted to the sofa. “That’s horrible.” Sitting next to him, she took his hand. “I’m so sorry. I know you were having doubts about his death.”
He grinned. “That’s what Trent told Juan Carlos, but we’ve been known to lie for a good cause, and keeping that boy protected is a good enough reason for me.” He moved farther into her space. “I was right. He was with me. We had a plan to get him out of the country to his aunt here in the States.”
“Are you serious?”
“That’s why Sandoval and I switched places and IDs. I was about to run with the boy. Trent was waiting for us.” He leaned back and shook his head. “Trent gave me all the details, then showed me the picture of the kid. I’d seen him.”
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