by Liwen Y. Ho
“Enough talking, girl. Go pick up Micah and get ready to have fun.” Nancy stood up, handed Olivia her purse, and walked her to the door. “I can’t wait to hear all about it.”
Consequences
Nine years ago
Matt
“Hey, Brian. What’s up, man?” Matt fumbled for his glasses as he sat up in bed. Ten o’clock. Shouldn’t Brian be picking Olive up now? Was he calling to give him another lecture?
“Is Liv with you?”
“No, isn’t she on her way home?”
“I’m at the BART station and the Fremont train just left. She’s not here and she’s not picking up her phone. Can you check if she’s still at the apartment?”
“Of course. I’ll call you back.” The urgency in his friend’s voice made his heart rate pick up. It wasn’t like Olive to oversleep, although she had been feeling tired and nauseous lately. But even the stomach flu wouldn’t keep her from calling her brother. They both knew how much he worried about her, especially after he’d graduated and moved an hour away.
He slipped on a T-shirt and jeans and grabbed his keys before stepping into the hallway. He shivered as he left the warmth of his apartment, and the hair on his bare arms stood on end. The building’s thin walls did little to keep the winter wind out, but most of the residences around campus were just as old and poorly insulated. Fortunately, Bay Area weather was nothing like the East Coast where he grew up. That was one of the reasons he’d chosen to stay at UC Berkeley for grad school. The other reason being Olive.
He had never planned on falling for his friend’s sister. When they met three years ago, he was a junior and she was a tongue-tied freshman who blushed whenever he looked her way. They rarely had a full conversation, but things changed when Brian got busy leading a campus fellowship the following year. Olive got a spare key to their apartment for the nights Brian was out at meetings and couldn’t let her in. And Matt began looking forward to seeing her on their couch, hugging a bag of chips to her chest as she watched TV.
It wasn’t long before he started teasing her and she surprised him by standing up for herself. The more time they spent together, the more she charmed him with her guts and wit. That’s why he nicknamed her Olive, after the bitter fruit he disliked as a kid, but grew to love as an adult. He soon saw her not as Brian’s kid sister, but as a friend. Their friendship gradually changed into something more and since then he’d been hooked.
Olive wasn’t like the other girls he’d gone out with. She was attractive, all right, with her oval-shaped face, sweet smile, and petite curves. But there was also a depth to her. She cared about people, much like he did. She understood why he was passionate about learning their stories and reporting the truth. But her passion went even deeper. She liked to dig past facts to a person’s heart. When he talked, she listened, not just with her ears, but with her eyes. Those dark brown eyes drew him in and made him feel completely at ease. She put up with his tight deadlines and long hours at the paper because she believed in him. With her support, he felt like he could do anything, maybe even win the Pulitzer Prize someday. She was so good for him and he made her happy.
If only Brian wasn't so overprotective, he’d realize that, too.
He rapped on Olive’s door, softly at first, then with more force when he remembered her roommate had already left for Christmas break. When there was no response, he took the spare key she’d given him and entered.
“Olive? Are you home?”
“In ... here.”
Matt followed the hoarse voice down the dim hallway to his left. He passed an open bedroom door until he reached the bathroom where he found Olive in her light blue flannel pajamas, slumped on the floor next to the toilet. A pungent, sour smell filled his nostrils as he rushed to kneel beside her. “How long have you been throwing up?”
She opened her red-rimmed eyes and immediately shut them again. “Since I woke up. I’m good … as long as I don’t move.”
There was no way she was fine. The pink, full lips he’d kissed before she left his place last night were now white and parched. Whatever bug she’d caught had wiped her out. “You don’t look so good.”
Opening one eye, she gave him a pointed look. “Never say that—” she paused to grimace “—to your girlfriend.”
“Olive, I’m serious.” He placed his palm against her clammy forehead and brushed some strands of hair off her face. “You don’t have a fever, but your body’s obviously fighting something. I’m taking you to the health center. You need to get checked out.”
“Okay. But bring a bucket.”
“Good idea.” He handed her a small plastic wastebasket from the corner, then gingerly scooped her up into his arms.
An hour later they were in the urgent care clinic listening wide-eyed as the doctor explained the cause of Olive’s sickness.
“The test came back positive. According to the first day of your last period, you’re six weeks along. What you’re experiencing is a normal symptom of morning sickness. I suggest you keep some plain crackers next to your bed and eat one as soon as you wake up. Small meals throughout the day and staying hydrated should help with the nausea.” The middle-aged Asian woman paused to study them over the rim of her glasses. “I take it this pregnancy wasn’t planned.”
Olivia broke the silence first. A sob escaped her lips, causing her to remove the lollipop she’d been sucking on to ease her nausea. Her other hand clenched the thin blue fabric of her disposable gown until her knuckles grew white. “Of course not. It was the first and only time we—how could this happen?”
“I’m sure you don’t need me to go over the specifics,” the doctor answered, tight-lipped. “If you’d like, I can arrange for you to speak with one of our social workers. It’s a free service and you could find out more about your options.”
Matt blinked, finally finding the voice to speak. “What options are you talking about?”
She reached for a brochure from the rack behind her. “If you choose to terminate—”
“No!” Olivia placed a hand over her stomach and shook her head. “We won’t—” she shot Matt a determined look “—I won’t choose that. This is a baby we’re talking about, not some problem to get rid of.”
The doctor held her hands up in a calming gesture. “All I’m saying is that you need to be informed and take some time to think things over.” Handing the brochure to Matt, she continued, her tone softening with pity. “As you know, in our culture a pregnancy outside of marriage can bring shame upon the family. You’re both so young with your futures ahead of you. What would your parents think about you throwing away your education? This is a big decision with many consequences. And it doesn’t only affect you; it also affects your families. Think about it.”
Matt nodded resolutely, knowing the doctor’s words couldn’t be more true. Both he and Olive were a semester away from graduation and he’d just landed an internship at the city paper. His career goals—including getting a regular byline by next year and working up the ranks to Editor-in-Chief—didn’t leave room for starting a family, at least not for another decade.
School and work aside, he didn’t want to think about their families’ reactions, specifically Olive’s. They’d never hear the end of it from Brian. Since they’d started dating, he’d taken it upon himself to act like their parent. Sure, he’d always been a stand-in for Olive’s dad, but a father figure was the last thing Matt wanted. His old man did enough for him by depositing money into his bank account and leaving him alone. That’s what a father’s role was, wasn’t it?
He felt a tug on his hand and looked up.
“We won’t be needing this.” Olivia took the brochure she’d pulled from his grasp and handed it to the doctor.
“It’s your choice.” She jotted a note and signed off on the form attached to the clipboard in her hands. “If there are no more questions, you can get dressed,” she added before leaving the room.
Olive hopped down from the exam table and turned he
r back to him to begin dressing.
Matt rose from the chair that had kept him from falling over in shock and took a few steps to the other side of the room. He faced the wall to give Olive some privacy and a poster caught his attention, taunting him with its bold font, the kind newspapers used for headlines. Safe Sex. No Regrets. Biting back a caustic laugh, he ran both hands through his hair, pulling at the ends in frustration. He would give anything to go back and stop himself from making the biggest mistake of his life. But honestly, he and Olive had been pushing the boundaries for months before that reckless night. And they were paying for their choices now.
He hung his head and crammed his hands into his jean pockets. “What did we get ourselves into?” he muttered to no one in particular.
A soft voice spoke up behind him. “I think it’s kind of a miracle. It took my mom three years to conceive Brian and she had to do IVF to have me. Somehow we did it in one try.”
Matt turned around, not believing his ears. He came face to face with Olive who was dressed in her pajamas again, lollipop in her mouth. Reaching out, she placed one hand over the area pounding in his chest and peered up at him through her long lashes. He sighed. She was so beautiful, so feminine and sweet. He could feel his guard coming down once again. This was how he’d gotten into this mess in the first place. He’d let himself get close to her, so close that the logical side of his brain shut off.
And then he’d let her into his heart.
Sometimes she was the only thing that made sense in his life. He had minimal ties with his family and he was always on his feet chasing the next story. She was the one constant who kept him grounded, yet gave him cause to dream.
She removed the lollipop and leaned close, her expression serious and thoughtful. “Matt, I know we messed up, but God gave us this baby. I want him.”
Olive spoke with a level of authority he’d never heard from her before. But did she have a clue about what she was saying? “Olive, have you thought this through? How are we supposed to raise a kid? You’re planning to go to grad school in the fall.”
“I can postpone it for a year or two. Having a baby will give me life experience. It’ll help me be a better therapist in the future.”
He raised a brow, unconvinced. “I don’t know how long it’ll take me to find a full-time reporting job. Even when I do, I won’t be making much. I don’t know how we’d do it.”
“Couldn’t we ask your parents for help? They have more than enough money. This is their grandson, after all.”
That they did. What his family lacked in love and communication, they attempted to make up for in material things. His father’s computer manufacturing company was one of the largest in China. It was like an older, more successful sibling who received all of his parents’ attention and praise ... and he was an afterthought. But if they didn’t care about their own son, would they care about their grandson? “Hold on—grandson? You’re talking like you know it’s a boy.”
Olive’s lips, now pink again, turned up in an endearing smile and the sparkle returned to her eyes. “I just have a feeling it is. He’ll be like a mini you. Can’t you picture it? Please, Matt. We can be a family.”
If anyone could provide him with a sense of home and belonging, it was the woman tugging on his shirt—and heart—at that very moment.
He caught a whiff of the lollipop’s lemony scent as she placed her warm mouth on his and tasted its tart flavor as she deepened the kiss. When they pulled apart, he rested his forehead against hers. They could make this work, couldn’t they? With her in his arms and by his side, anything seemed possible. Even having the family he’d always wanted. Caressing Olive’s cheek, he nodded. “Let’s do it.”
----
Present day
“Wow! Wait till the other kids see this.”
Matt glanced up from the large styrofoam ball sitting before him on the kitchen counter and grinned. The model of the sun he and Micah had been working on for the past hour was coming together nicely. The beaming smile on his son’s face confirmed his approval as well. “Not too bad, huh? I told you I wouldn’t let you down.”
Raising himself on his toes, Micah pointed to an orange glass-like arch Matt was gluing onto the ball’s surface. “It looks like a real solar flare. I didn’t know sugar could do that.”
Matt set the hot glue gun down and slowly released his hold on the arch, ensuring the piece stayed in place. “Yep. Years ago I interviewed a chef who made sculptures using pulled sugar. I’m glad I took good notes. Who knew one day I’d be using what I learned for your science project.”
“My sun’s going to be the coolest … one … ever.” Micah dragged out the last three words with wonder and pride.
“And the tastiest.” Matt picked up a leftover piece of pulled sugar from the marble countertop and twisted it apart into two pieces. He handed one half to Micah and stuck the other half in his mouth. “Don’t let Mom know I gave you candy before dinner.”
Micah nodded with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Thanks for helping me, Ba.”
“My pleasure, kiddo. It was fun.” Matt swallowed hard, suddenly feeling choked up. He grabbed a mug from the cabinet behind him and filled it with water from the sink. He gulped down the cool liquid and cleared his throat. The lump was still there. He couldn’t deny that his emotions, and not the sugar, had gotten to him.
For the first time in years, he felt like he deserved the title his son called him. He was being the father he himself wished he had, one who put his family before his job. Micah deserved his attention and time, and in all honesty, he needed his as well. It took a big wake-up call to realize what he’d been missing. Thank God he was getting a second chance. If only Micah hadn’t had to suffer because of it.
Despite the fading scar on the side of his son’s forehead, he knew he was still recovering from the car accident. Three months of play therapy with Olive’s supervisor had helped a great deal. Micah no longer suffered from nightmares and he was finally comfortable riding in a car again, though never next to the window. Nancy informed him, however, that he would need more time to fully heal from the emotional scars.
Matt reached out and ruffled Micah’s thick, black hair, marveling at how they shared the same counterclockwise swirl in the center of their heads. They also shared the same square face shape, though Micah’s cheeks were fuller and his jawline less defined. But his eyes were completely like Olive’s, dark and intense, yet innocent. Today, they were full of hope.
“I wish you could go to Hawaii with us. Can’t you take time off?”
“I wish I could, but—it’s complicated.” Matt winced when Micah’s eyes clouded with disappointment, resembling the darkening sky he saw through the window next to the breakfast nook. He wished he could give Micah a better answer, but how could he tell him he couldn’t go because he hadn’t been invited? “We’ll do something fun when you get back, just the two of us, okay?”
“Can Mom come, too? I like it when we do things together.”
“Of course. I like it, too.”
That was the truth. The last few months had shown him how close his family could be when they put each other first. When he and Olive weren’t arguing, or worse, giving each other the silent treatment, they were so good together. They were the family they’d hoped to be when they vowed to stay together, for better or for worse. Even though they’d been young and idealistic—not to mention, pressured to get married before Micah was born—they’d truly been in love. Was it too late to get that back?
The chime of the doorbell interrupted his thoughts. He turned to Micah with a smile. “Speaking of Mom, that should be her now. What do you say we get some take-out for dinner?” Pointing to a paper menu on the refrigerator door, he urged, “Go ahead and pick something out.”
Micah nodded eagerly. “Anything I want?”
“Sure,” Matt called over his shoulder as he walked out of the kitchen into the living room. He turned off the large flat screen TV that had been playing car
toons all afternoon, its existence a constant reminder of his current bachelor status. It had been an impulse buy, a consolation prize after the split when he finally gave up hotel life and got his own place. But the only good thing about this apartment was its close proximity to his family and the short-term lease. No matter how luxuriously furnished it was, this home didn’t seem like a home without his family. Without the one woman he’d ever loved who was standing on the other side of the front door.
He opened it and was immediately greeted by a strong gust of wind, followed by the sound of chattering teeth. “Olive? Where’s your umbrella?”
Olivia stomped her feet on the rubber welcome mat, rubbing her hands up and down the sleeves of her wet blazer. Her bangs lay plastered to her forehead and her lips were pale. “At home,” she groaned. “It was sunny when I left for work. Do you have one I can borrow? I don’t mind looking like a drowned rat, but I don’t want Micah to get wet.”
“You look pretty good for a drowned rat.” His attempt at flattery fell flat and he sobered up. “Yeah, no problem, I have an extra one.”
Her lips curved in a small, tight smile. “Is he ready to go?”
He recognized that expression. It was the same one she wore in college before he’d earned her trust. She’d let her guard down once they started dating, but sometime during their marriage she’d started shutting him out again. He guessed she didn’t want to appear weak or needy, and her ruse worked. The only times he’d ever seen her cry was when she was pregnant—which she blamed on hormones—and the day of the car accident. She hadn’t even shed a tear when he moved out, which had made him question how much she cared. But she had to know how much he cared for her.
“Actually, do you want to stay for dinner? I told Micah we could get Chinese. It’ll save you some time with the packing you need to do.” He stepped aside to allow room for her to enter.
