by Lucian Bane
White Knight Dom Academy
1st Semester
By Lucian Bane
© 2015 by Lucian Bane
All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of Lucian Bane or his legal representative.
To all the readers, fans, and or reader’s clubs. Thank you for supporting my work. I’d also like to ask nicely that you please not Pirate my work. That basically means don’t give it away just because you bought it. If you know of anybody that can’t afford a copy, just let me know. I’m a nice guy.
Also, if you need a different format, please contact me, the author.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my beautiful, amazing, gorgeous wife. I love you forever. Thank you so much for putting up with me, for believing in me, for loving me.
Acknowledgements:
I’d like to acknowledge a few awesome people that helped me with this project.
The best practical use for the weird sex toys goes to the following awesome fans: Roxie Phelps (baby Jesus butt plug) Tammy Singleton Burch ( Human suffocation suit) Vanessa Wallace (Human Bird Cage and Nut Cracker) Gina Terrible Enge (Bacon Flavored condoms) Lisa Jamiso-Loyd (Vagina Foot) Nancy Hawes Grammer (Ass tail gate contraption) Myself (Bionic Butt Plug)
Additional Special Thanks To:
Jan Kinder. AKA best PA in the world. Stayed up with my late ass helping with everything and the kitchen sink. I honestly don’t know what I’d have do
ne without you while the world snored! Thank you!
A Thanks to the Instant Beta Readers
Roxie Phelps, Hilary Suppes, Terrie Meerschaert, Kim Poe, Kimberly Burden, and Kelly Mallett. LADIES THANK YOU MOOCHO GRANDIS!!! You saved my ass.
Chapter One
Lucian’s heart hammered as he hurried toward the police officer waving his flashlight in the window of the van full of adult toys. God damn. He wanted to whack it from his nosy ass hand.
“How can I help you, Officer?” Lucian raised a hand to block the sudden beam of light in his face.
“Evenin’. This your vehicle?”
The six foot lumbering giant lowered the flashlight finally. “Yes, sir, it certainly is.” From the moment Lucian had stepped off the porch he’d been contriving a convincible story, and still had nothing.
The man slid the light over the contents in the van again. “Mind telling me what all this stuff is?”
Why yes, Officer I do mind. But making enemies with the law was the last thing he’d do. “It’s a mistake.” Lucian raked a hand through his hair then gestured to the catastrophe. “As you can see, I got married and… part of our tradition… in the family is uh… practical jokes. Big ha ha ordering one of every item in the kinky toy catalog and having it delivered on my wedding day.”
“A practical joke?” The man slowly perused the countless boxes again, seeming to enjoy the little torment. Most of the containers were unidentifiable save the few that sported images of their devious contents—a purple dildo with anal pleasures attached being one that was in plain sight. “Or a mistake, which is it?”
Lucian cleared his throat, cursing to himself. “A mistake if you ask me, a joke if you ask them.”
A grin flashed on the man’s face before briefly assaulting Lucian’s eyeballs with that fucking high beam again. “That is one expensive mistaking joke,” he said.
“Nah, it’s all going back.” Lucian slid both hands in his slacks with a shrug. “The joke only cost shipping and that’s their bill, not mine.”
“So you don’t plan on using all this?”
Lucian laughed a tad too loud. “Unless I’m opening classes for farm sex demonstrations, no.”
The man’s grin slowly faded until he eyed Lucian with a brutal gaze. “Farm sex is a federal offense in these parts.”
Lucian gave an incredulous snort. “Well I’m damn glad to hear it. I was joking.”
“Well I ain’t joking. You’ll do time in the Big Pennie for that.” He lowered his head a little without taking his eyes off of him, presenting three chins as he pushed his police officer hat up with the tip of his flashlight. “The Big Pennie would love this kind of merchandise.” The pair of gray eyes and one-sided grin promised some homegrown crazy.
“I can only imagine,” Lucian said. “You married?”
The man leveled a hard look at him. “I’ll ask the questions, city boy.”
City boy. Somebody tipped him off. Probably that pissy-pants Lucifer. “Sure man, ask what you want.”
“Nahhhhh, I’m done here.” He tapped his flashlight on the van window smiling. “That there is pretty funny, I have to say.” His brows rose until you knew nothing was really funny at all. “I should warn you fair and square that this is a respectable town Mr…”
“Bane,” Lucian said, his tone even.
“This here is a respectable town Mr. Bane. We don’t take kindly to outsiders bringing in…” he clicked on his flashlight and wagged it at the van then clicked it off, “…sexual deviations. This is a God-fearing town.”
“Yes Sir,” Lucian nodded.
“A small town.”
“Got it.”
“There are no secrets here.”
“As it should be,” Lucian agreed.
“Whatever goes on,” he continued as though Lucian argued with him, “I’ll find out. I’m the deputy in these parts. The governing authority.”
Lucian gave a small salute. “Yes, Sir, I get it. My father was military.”
“This ain’t Texas boy. We may not be big but we pack a punch.” He uppercut the air with a fist, the abrupt motion dislodging his perfectly set police hat. “Like dynamite.”
So he already knew his hometown. Great. Lucian fought to appear as normal as possible while the man adjusted his hat back, entirely oblivious to the Barney Fife douche twat he was imitating. “No ,Sir. I never imagined this was Texas,” Lucian said.
“We’re not stupid here either,” the dumb fuck continued. “We may not have fancy big schools and gadgets coming out of our ears left and right but we. Are. Aware.”
“Indeed, sir.”
“I am so sorry!” Steve shrilled from behind them. Lucian turned to find a huffing Steve zigzagging his way toward them. Jesus… “This is all my fault,” he whisper-wailed.
Lucian caught Steve’s arm when it became apparent he’d collide right into the damn officer.
“Lucian,” Steve gasped right at him, burning his nostrils with alcohol. “I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”
“It’s fine Steve,” Lucian hurried before he could blather. “I let him know about the traditional wedding prank the family likes to play.”
Steve paused a second and sucked in a sharp breath then boomed his laughter. He stumbled back and slapped his hands on both legs several times then pumped his palms in the air with a weird foot jig. “Exxxxaaaactly.”
Lucian eyed the officer, not surprised to find a strange disgust on his face.
“Heavens!” Steve squealed sneakily. “We got him good, you should have seen his face!”
The Officer slowly nodded. “Oh I bet he was just all surrrrpriiiiised.”
Fucking ass didn’t buy a word of anything they’d said.
Steve whacked Lucian on the back and pointed at him. “You know we love you bub.” He suddenly slammed into him with a bear hug. “You’re the brother I never had, you realize that?”
Dear God, he was crying? Lucian stole a glance at the suspicious officer and found his disgust had tripled. “Of course we’re brothers.” Lucian struggled to lift his pinne
d arms and give his condolence to try to lessen the awkward.
“I hope you can forgive me!” he howled.
Holy shit, what an embarrassment. “There is nothing to forgive unless you don’t let me go. I don’t do bromances.” Last thing he needed was this cop thinking that, which he clearly entertained.
Steve let him go and gave him an extra hard whack on his arm. “Bromance! Surely not the top Dom!”
“You’re drunk Steve, talking nonsense,” Lucian said firmly.
He sucked in his breath realizing what he’d just said. “I am!” He turned to the police officer. “I am so very drunk! And a screw up.” He approached the officer, making Lucian cringe. “It’s my wife,” he hissed. “She’s a shopaholic. She spends all the money and lies about it. She has an eating problem too!” he shrilled.
“You need to back up, Sir. Back up.” The officer pushed Steve with his flashlight and Steve raised both hands going in reverse.
“Steve! Steve where are you!”
There was only one woman with a voice that loud and deep, and she was making her way to their cluster fuck in progress. Lucian dared not wonder if it could get any worse.
“There she is!” Steve scurried behind the officer. “Please don’t tell her I’m here!”
“Lucian, where is Steve?” By the time she stood next to him, she was all heaving bosom. “I’m pretty sure I saw him come out here. Did you see that woman looking at him?” she said, shooting a thumb behind her. “Lucian, I’ll tell you right now. I am a very tolerant woman on most fronts, but when it comes to hussy-footing with my husband, I put on the brakes.” She cocked her hip like a man would his shotgun and aimed her finger at the officer who raised both hands in defense. Apparently he’d been trained in angry behemoth confrontations.
“Ma’am, I do believe I saw your husband a bit ago.”
“He’s likely hiding. From that woman,” Lucian added.
She gave a snort. “He’d better be. If I catch him giving any single one of these women the time of day—his ass is so grass!” She capped the threat with snap of her spine. “What’s going on here, anyway? Lucian, do you remember you have a new bride in that house waiting for you? What’s the damn problem out here? I swear to God I’m at my wits end with things running amuck here.”
“I’m done really,” the officer said.
“Thank you Sir,” Lucian said. “I’ll be in touch with the paperwork on that building permit.”
The officer’s eyes got a little wide before he eyed the woman. “Yyyyes sir, you do that.” He rocked on his heels.
“How about I help you find Steve?” Lucian offered his arm and Susan regarded it for a second and took it.
“Thank you,” she said nicely, sounding pacified. “Lucian I don’t know what to do with Steve,” she cried as they walked off.
Lucian tossed a wave over his shoulder, grinning to himself. “Tell me, maybe I can help.”
They made it to the side of the porch and Susan turned. “Well that was easy,” she muttered, looking over his shoulder. “Steve told me you were having trouble and to follow him out, right after he went.”
Lucian stared at her with wide eyes. “You’re kidding me.” Dear God, did that mean she knew he lied to her?
She shook her head with a happy grin before popping her eyes wide. “See, I told Steve that him and I would make a good team.” She nodded once. “And I really am having a hard time with him. You need to convince him to let me help.”
Lucian looked behind them and saw the policeman leaving. “I’ll definitely work on him Susan.”
“We have other troubles,” she whispered. “In the bedroom.”
Dear God please no. “Uh, Tara and I talked about that.” She jerked back like she’d been slapped. “I mean no details. We talked about helping the two of you… bond.”
“Yessss!” she hiss whispered. “That is what we need. He needs to learn how to be a man.” She leaned closer and said even more quietly, “No disrespect Lucian, but the man can stand some… pointers.” She drew back thankfully and wagged her finger at his groin, while Lucian looked for a Hail-Mary out of that conversation.
“There you are!” Steve said behind them.
“Steve!” Lucian tried not to sound as exuberant as he felt at seeing him. “You once again saved the day. And Susan,” he added quickly at seeing her sudden offense.
“I didn’t really have to fake the drunk part,” he huffed lightly, out of breath. “Oh my Lord,” he put the back of his hand to his forehead. “I think I drank one too many of those harmless glasses of champagne. They’re just so cute, you know?”
Susan giggled. “Are you feeling loose enough for a dance?”
Steve’s eyes widened to sober. “Dance?”
The woman put both hands on her ample hips, glaring at him. “Yes, dance.”
Steve flashed Lucian a panicked gaze and as much as he owed him, there was no way in hell he was coming between Susan’s clear dire need for a dance. “I think I owe my wife a few of those as well.” That was as good as he could do. “Maybe we can team up…” Lucian glanced at a half-perturbed Susan. “Like… a double date thing but… dance?”
Susan’s smile came so sudden and beaming, it startled both of them. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!” She gave Lucian a lung rattling pat on the back then sang-growled, “Let’s boogie down baby!” She turned and slammed her hip into Steve, blasting the wind from him while Lucian quickly tore out to lead the way. Oh what fun this was going to be.
****
Tara’s heart skipped a beat at seeing Lucian make his way back inside. She took a few seconds to stare dreamily at him. Mm-mm-mmmm, dear Lord what had she done to deserve such yumminesss? She held her breath as his gaze searched around and when those twinkling blue eyes landed on her, butterflies erupted in her stomach. Then came his gorgeous smile, sending the butterflies straight to her clit, Lord Jesus. She bit her lip and waved like a twelve-year-old virgin. Mmm, he coulda sure had my virginity. Damn, how many times had she fantasized that very thing? How it would have happened; the things he would’ve done.
He waved back then widened his eyes and discreetly tossed his head behind him. At that same moment, Susan barged through the crowd, shaking her shoulders and dragging a scared little puppet named Steve behind her. Lucian then angled his head to the dance floor, rolling his hips toward her and with a wink, inviting her to dance.
Ridiculous excitement flooded her and Tara set her drink down, making her way quickly to the floor where everybody made room. Once there, she hiked her dress up and delivered a Michael Jackson leg-wag-kick, bringing claps and cheers from the laughing crowd.
Lucian responded with a Grease dance routine that involved perfectly vulgar hip gyrations right next to Tara, making all the whores in the room scream in appreciation.
Not to be outdone, Susan led Steve in the Tango, hiking her leg high on his waist somehow, then slamming her hand on his ass and gripping tight. Apparently the shock of it threw Steve for a loop and they both tumbled to the floor with a robust boom!
“Steve brings the boom!” Lucian yelled to the gasping crowd.
“Susan brings the boom!” Tara yelled next then jumped onto Lucian’s back. Tara squealed as he stumbled from the unexpected weight and they both toppled right onto Steve and Susan who were still in stitches on the floor.
Tara couldn’t breathe through the laughter and joy of it all. She couldn’t have dreamed up a more perfect wedding, a more perfect moment. A more perfect man for a husband. All in her own home, her childhood home with Gramma there. Thank you God.
Chapter Two
Lucian crept downstairs when he was pretty sure the coast was clear and not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The house was all nestled, all snug in their bed, and Gramma gargled marbles like a beast with three heads.
He slipped on his rubber boots to navigate the snow drifts piling up outside. Fighting his way to the rendezvous point—the heated van outside—Lucian had a mo
ment of sheer panic when the white world around him failed to produce anything but a twilight zone of you’re fucked. Two lights blinked on and off and he sucked in the frigid air as he made his way across the ten feet.
Once inside the vehicle, he went through a series of cussing and thawing.
“Yeah,” Steve said. “If it weren’t for the alarm on the van, I might have lost my way and froze to death too!”
“Shit, fuck!” Lucian gasped. “We are nuts!”
“This was your idea,” Steve reminded.
“Yes, and I don’t regret it. Except for the cold. Nobody ever calculates the brutality of the elements into romantic Christmas ideas.” Lucian looked behind him. “You got the stuff?”
“All in the back.”
“The presents are all wrapped?”
“Perfectly. And in the mountainous proportions you requested.”
“Awesome.” Lucian smiled and glanced at Steve. “Thank you man, really. I owe you.”
“You paid for one of the best Christmases my son will ever have,” Steve shrilled, “what are you thanking me for?”
“Because you would’ve done it anyway, that’s why. You’re a good guy.” Lucian shivered and looked to the backseat again, grinning. “That’s a lot of presents.” He turned back to Steve. “I just want her to have the best first Christmas with me. And Gramma. A happy one. Since Gramps passed, they’ve been kinda sad. I know he wouldn’t want that and so I’m bringing some fucking cheer back.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” Steve said.
“You think?” Lucian looked out at the extremely white Christmas. “I just… don’t want them to think I’m insensitive to bring too much joy at a sad time. I know that sounds stupid.”
“No, I get what you mean. I think it’ll have a good effect on everybody.”
“I hope so. Okay you ready to do this?”
“I’ll leave the lights on so we don’t get stranded,” Steve said.
“Good idea. Would be fucked up if we froze to death in transit.” Steve let out a low stream of chuckles and Lucian grinned at him. “What?”
“Can you see the news and the images accompanying them? Two frozen idiots?” Steve posed like a man reaching in the dark. “Two feet from the porch, but facing away?”
