by Anna Blakely
One corner of Jake's mouth rose. “Nope.”
“Ah, come on, Boss,” Derek prodded. “Not even a little hint?”
“Yeah, Jake.” Mac propped herself up on one knee since she was too short to see over the seat in front of her. “How am I supposed to know what dress to wear if I don't know what we're celebrating?”
“The black one,” Coop muttered beside her.
Mac looked at him incredulously. “I have like eight black dresses, Coop. You're gonna have to be a little more specific.”
“You know. The one with the thing that ties in back,” Coop pointed behind his neck.
“The halter dress?”
“Um...sure?”
It was obvious Coop had no idea if that was the correct one or not.
Mac rolled her pretty blue eyes. “Of course you'd say that one.”
“What?” Coop looked up at her, confused. “It looks nice on you.”
With her hands on her tiny hips, she narrowed her eyes at her partner. “Uh, huh. I'm sure it has nothing to do with its low neckline.”
“Is it low?” Coop shook his head innocently. “I hadn't noticed.”
Mac smacked him on the arm and plopped back into her seat.
The guys all chuckled. Even Grant—who was sitting across from Derek—looked as though he wanted to smile.
Derek glanced back over at Mac, who was also wearing a small grin. Not one man on that plane meant any real disrespect toward the small-but-mighty woman, and she knew it.
Mac was like their little sister. Granted, she could out-shoot nearly everyone on the team, but still. There wasn't a man here who wouldn't fight to the death to keep her safe.
They didn't dare tell her that, though.
“As long as it's appropriate for the restaurant, I couldn't give a shit less what you wear,” Jake made his point clear.
“Yeah, y'all know how my wife is,” Trevor piped in. “Lex is pretty laid back about that sort of thing. And since she owns the place”—he grinned—“whatever she says, goes.”
Derek couldn't help but smile back at his friend. Trev and Lex had a rough start, for sure. But, ever since they'd taken out the psychopathic killer who'd come after Lexi, she and Trevor had been living their dream life...together.
A pang of jealousy struck Derek in the chest. Though he'd never admit it to anyone else, he wanted that, too.
Not that he could complain about his life much. Professionally, he'd accomplished everything he set out to do.
He'd gone into the military right out of high school, finished BUD/S—Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL training—at age twenty-two, and then spent the next five years fighting for his country.
After that, Jake approached him about taking a position as R.I.S.C.'s technical analyst. It hadn't taken as long as he'd thought to decide to leave his SEAL Team for a new band of brothers.
Working for R.I.S.C. allowed Derek to still do what he was born to do—fight for the ones who needed it and take down those who wished Americans harm—while also having more freedom to have an actual life of his own.
It didn’t hurt that the pay was great. And, when compared to his SEAL ops, the time he got to spend at home was much greater.
Still, something vital was missing. A gaping hole that, most days, Derek managed to ignore.
“I say we bet on what we think the motive is for this elusive dinner tomorrow night. Any takers?”
“I'm in,” Coop quickly hollered.
“Seriously?” Mac scowled. “You're going to use Jake and Olivia's dinner as a way to make money?”
Coop shrugged. “And?”
Derek shook his head but grinned. Some days those two bickered like an old married couple.
“I guess I shouldn't place a bet,” he told the others smugly. “Since I already know what they're gonna tell us.”
“You do?” Coop and Grant both asked simultaneously.
“Sure. Our sly boss, here, put a bun in his cute little wife's oven.”
Trevor's eyes shot to Jake, who was looking back at Derek with a surprised look on his face.
“Holy, shit,” Derek sat up straight. “Is that it? Did I guess it right? I was just messin' with y'all, but...damn, Jake. Is Liv really pregnant?”
Jake swallowed and schooled his expression. “No. That's not...no.”
Derek's smile spread from ear to ear. “She is, isn't she?” He clapped his hands loudly. “Hot diggity, y'all. Bossman's gonna be a daddy.”
Jake glanced at Trevor then back to the rest of the team. He sighed loudly. “Damn, D. How the hell did you know?”
Laughing, Derek put his hands up defensively. “I didn't. I swear. I was just throwin' that shit out there.”
“Great. Now it's going to be my ass when Liv realizes you all knew before she got the chance to announce it. That was the whole point of tomorrow night.”
“Well, no offense, Boss...” Coop came to Derek’s rescue. “But you're usually a bit better at controlling your reactions than that.”
“Fuck.” Jake shook his head then gave them all a crooked grin. “Guess I’m just too damned excited.”
“Seriously, man.” Derek gave him a nod. “That's awesome. Congratulations.”
“Thanks, D.” After more cheers of celebration, Jake quieted them down. “Here's the deal, though. You guys have to act surprised when Liv tells you.”
“Don't worry,” Mac smiled, looking at Jake from over the seat again. “I've been practicing my shocked face for two weeks.”
For the second time in as many minutes, their boss looked stunned. Raising his dark brows to Mac, he asked, “You already knew?”
Realizing she'd slipped up, Mac cringed. “Yeah. Sorry. Liv told me when we went shopping a couple of weeks ago.”
“That little minx.”
“Don't be mad at her, Jake. She was just excited and really wanted to tell someone. And, let's face it. I am awesome at keeping secrets.”
Derek noticed the glance Coop shot at her before wiping the odd look off his face and joining in on the conversation.
“Yeah, Boss. Girls always tell their friends shit they're not supposed to.”
“He's right.” Trevor looked at Jake. “Can't get mad at her for telling Mac when you told me.”
“Whoa, hold up,” Coop hollered out, sounding offended. “You told Matthews, but you didn't tell the rest of us?”
“Oh, for fuck's sake.” Jake rolled his eyes. “This is why I hate surprises. Y'all know now, okay?”
“Well, yeah, but Trevor knew before us.” Derek shook his head. “That's like telling one of your kids somethin’ but keeping it a secret from the rest of them.” He pretended to pout. “That’s just mean, Jake.”
Jake chuckled then looked down at his watch. “If you’re all done giving me shit, I'm pretty sure we're about forty-five minutes to landing.”
“Damn.” Derek glanced at his watch, too. “Guess we'd better get started on our reports for Ryker. You know how he gets when we make him wait.”
Grumbles of agreement filled the small space as each team member got out their laptops and began typing away.
As Derek wrote his official report for Homeland, his mind kept wandering back to Jake's news. After nearly losing Liv not once, but twice, the couple hadn't just found love and happiness with each other. They were growing it into so much more.
That familiar feeling of envy returned. Sure, Derek was a total player, but that was only to cover up what he was really feeling inside. The pain and emptiness that still existed, even after all this time.
For years, Derek had used his witty humor and natural charm to gain the attention of pretty much any female he wanted. He always respected them—always—and never went into things without being clear about what he had to give. And what he didn't.
He’d lost the one woman he'd hoped to make his before he'd ever even had the chance to tell her how he really felt. The emotional blow had hit him much harder than he'd ever let on.
Lately, those
feelings were becoming more and more difficult to hide from the rest of the world.
To those who knew him, he was just a goofy nerd with a strong appetite for casual sex. In truth, he was still that heartsick kid dreaming of the one who got away. If only he’d made his move sooner, then maybe he wouldn’t spend his nights thinking about all the what-ifs.
Maybe it’s time to let go of the past and focus on building a future.
Yeah, Derek thought to himself. Maybe it was.
Chapter 3
“Seriously?”
Furrowing his brow, Derek looked at the gruff man sitting beside him. “What?”
Grant’s deep voice rumbled as he read the words printed on the front of Derek’s shirt. “If you ask nicely, I’ll let you touch my dongle.” He raised a questioning brow.
“Hey,” Derek defended his wardrobe choice. “A dongle is a very sophisticated piece of computer hardware. It allows access to wireless—”
“I know what a dongle is and what it does,” Grant cut him off. “What I don’t understand is why you’d choose to wear that shirt to this restaurant. Or, in public at all.”
“For one, there’s absolutely nothin’ wrong with what this shirt says. Not my fault if your perverted mind twists it into somethin’ else.”
A muscle in Grant’s scruff-covered jaw budged as the humorless man clenched his teeth together.
Poking the bear is way too much fun. Derek smiled. “And two”—he continued— “it’s just dinner, Hill. I mean, I wore a sport coat over it, for cryin’ out loud. How dressed up did ya want me to be?”
“I think it’s awesome.” Coop smiled at them both from across the table. “And pairing it with the jacket makes it dressy, yet casual.”
“Right?” Derek gave his other teammate an appreciative nod.
“The shirt is talking about touching his dongle.” Mac narrowed her pretty blue eyes at Coop. “That’s a bit of a stretch for Wal-Mart, let alone this place.”
“Oh, just admit it.” Sean looked at the pretty sniper. “It’s funny.”
“Thanks, Coop.” Derek gave him a pretend high-five through the air.
“I got your back, D.” Coop returned the gesture.
“Well, then, maybe he should let you touch his dongle.” Mac smirked at her partner.
“Oh, my God,” Olivia chuckled from the end of the table. “Can we please stop saying the word ‘dongle’?”
Derek gave their boss’s wife an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Liv.”
The adorable nurse grinned back at him, her dimples deepening against her olive skin. “It’s okay, Derek. I love your crazy shirts.”
“See?” Derek elbowed Grant. “Told you it was fine.”
Grant rolled his eyes, grumbling something unintelligible under his breath.
Derek’s smile grew even wider. He knew somewhere deep, deep down inside, the formidable man was laughing.
The sound of silverware clinking against glass broke through the conversation at the table. All heads turned to the far end where Jake was now standing with Olivia.
Time to get your game face on.
“If I can have everyone’s attention, Liv and I have something we’d like to share.” Dressed in a dark blue button-up and black dress pants, their boss glanced lovingly at his wife. “You want to tell them?”
Olivia beamed. “Yes.”
Jake kissed her on the cheek. “Floor’s all yours.”
The petite brunette took a nervous breath and let it out slowly. Looking as though she were about to burst with joy, Olivia made the announcement.
“Jake and I asked you all here tonight because we have some wonderful news. Because you are our closest friends...our family...we wanted to share it with you while we were all together.”
She glanced back up at Jake who looked happier than Derek had ever seen him. Jake tilted his head, and Olivia’s watery gaze fell on the team once more.
Practically squealing, she quickly told them, “Jake and I are having a baby!”
Cheers filled the small, private dining room as the members of Alpha Team offered their congratulations to the happy couple. The men got up, each one hugging Olivia before slapping Jake’s back or shaking his hand. Some did both.
Even Grant joined in, though Derek could tell it took quite some effort for the big guy to do so.
Mac’s look of surprise was Oscar-worthy as she went to Olivia and Jake, and Lexi—Trevor’s wife—wiped tears of joy from the corner of her eyes as she spoke to the happy couple.
When it was Derek’s turn to hug Olivia, he did his best to act shocked. “What a great surprise! I’m so happy for you, sweetness.”
“Thanks, Derek.” The woman who’d become like a sister to him hugged him back. “Honestly, I’m even more surprised Jake didn’t tell you guys before tonight.”
Derek schooled his expression. “Yeah. That Jake. Boy, he’s somethin’ else, isn’t he?”
The space between Olivia’s brows bunched together. “Derek...” she let her voice trail.
“What?” he asked innocently.
She put her hands on her hips and gave him a knowing stare. “Did you already know I was pregnant?”
His eyes slid to Jake, who was now very much aware of the conversation taking place beside him. With an indiscernible shake of his head, Jake warned Derek not to rat him out.
“No,” Derek chuckled nervously. “Of course not.”
“Oh, my God! You totally did!” Through narrow eyes, Liv looked up at Jake. “You told them, didn’t you?”
“What?” his boss lied horribly. “No. I-I...”
Derek snickered when Olivia gave Jake ‘the look’.
“Okay, fine,” he relented. “I told them.”
The man had fearlessly faced death and torture more times than Derek could remember, yet one look from his wife and he folded like a stack of cards.
“Jake!” Olivia scolded her husband.
“I know, I know. And I’m sorry.” Jake rested his hands on his wife’s hips. “I didn’t mean to, I swear. Derek guessed what was going on, and I was so excited I just couldn’t keep it in any longer. Besides”—he gave Olivia a look of his own—“you can’t be mad at me when you told Mac.”
“McKenzie Kelley!” Olivia’s head swiveled toward her friend. “You swore you wouldn’t say anything.”
“I’m sorry,” Mac cringed. “I got caught up in the moment, and it just slipped out.”
Olivia busted up laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. When she caught her breath, she addressed the entire group again. “I guess it really doesn’t matter. Either way, the cat’s out of the bag, now.”
“More like, the bun will be out of the oven in nine months,” Derek teased.
“Six and a half months, actually,” she corrected him. “I’m already ten weeks along. We wanted to wait until closer to the end of the first trimester to tell everyone.”
More cheers and well-wishes were given before everyone finally sat back down to order.
“This is a little strange,” Lexi commented while looking at the menu.
“What’s that, angel?” Trevor asked from beside her.
“Usually, I’m back in the kitchen, grabbing bites whenever I can. I’ve never sat at one of our tables to order before.” She smiled at Trevor. “It’s kinda fun.”
Trevor leaned over and kissed his wife’s temple. “Enjoy it while it lasts.”
Derek sat quietly, observing the two couples at the table. Jake and Liv were all smiles as they discussed the impending birth of their first child. Trevor and Lexi each stole little glances here and there, the love they felt for each other obvious.
He was truly happy for both couples, which made his guilt over his jealousy weigh even heavier on his shoulders. Needing a few minutes away from the insurmountable bliss surrounding him, Derek stood and pushed in his chair.
“Where are you going?” Grant asked without looking away from his menu.
“Bathroom. That okay, or do you want to come
hold my dongle while I go?”
“Jesus Christ,” the other man grumbled. “Just go.”
Satisfied by the barely-noticeable tilt of his friend’s mouth, Derek turned and headed to the opposite side of the restaurant where the restrooms were located. A couple of minutes later, he was turning the corner at the end of the narrow hallway when he bumped into someone.
“Excuse me,” he told the woman, her long, blonde hair hiding her face. He steadied her with a hand to her elbow.
“Oh!” she said at the same time. “I’m so sorry.”
Derek’s heart kicked the inside of his chest. That voice. Though it lacked a southern drawl, it was the same, raspy tone he remembered.
When they were younger, he’d thought it was cute. Unique. As she became older and his feelings for her had begun to change, it made him think of slow, all-night-long sex.
“Charlie?” Derek blurted her name more loudly than intended.
A set of estranged, familiar eyes shot up to his. “Derek?”
He was damn near struck speechless. Minus his twin, this woman had been his best friend for years. Then, one day, she simply up and left.
She’d married some lawyer and moved to New York City, completely oblivious to the heartache her leaving had caused.
“Hey,” he finally managed to greet her.
“H-hi.” Charlie gave him a small, nervous smile.
Not reaching her eyes, it was nothing like the big, toothy grins she’d given him when they were kids. Looking at her more closely, Derek realized nearly everything about the girl he used to know had changed.
The dark, mahogany hair that had barely brushed her shoulders was much longer, now. And blonde. Her girlish curves were gone; replaced with a more mature, thinner frame.
She’s too fuckin’ thin.
A far cry from the cut-off jeans and tank tops still locked inside his most treasured memories, Charlie was dressed in a pristine white skirt suit and what he assumed were designer heels.
Her blouse appeared to be very delicate, the light from the ceiling glimmering off its pressed collar. Even her makeup looked as though it had been expertly applied and not one, bleached blonde strand of hair was out of place.
