by L.H. Cosway
That got us all moving. I started to run, then yelped when someone scooped me up and threw me over their shoulder. “Cal! Let me down!”
“Hold tight. I see a shortcut.”
Instead of protesting, I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him carry me. He held my legs and sped forward, jumping on board a lift and hitting the button for the top floor.
“I’m pretty sure this is cheating,” I said as I slid down his back.
Cal winked. “There’s no such thing as cheating when you haven’t set any rules.”
“I bow down to you, master,” I chuckled. Cal smirked and I suddenly realised how that sounded. “Uh, I mean….”
He batted his eyelashes. “Yes?”
I pushed him lightly on the shoulder. “You know. Shut up.”
The door pinged open and we stepped out, reaching the top tier of the seating area before everyone else. Trev arrived a few seconds later, breathless. “I should’ve known you’d cheat.”
“Still won, didn’t I?” Cal replied cockily.
“Cheaters don’t win,” Trev griped and went to check out the wall behind the last row of seats. There were bars running across the ceiling. Trev jumped to try to grab hold of one but missed by less than an inch.
James, Isaac, and Paul joined us, in that order, which meant Paul had to buy dinner.
“If I’m paying, we’re eating at McDonald’s,” he announced then narrowed his gaze at Cal and me. “Technically you two should pay for cheating.”
“You call it cheating. I call it thinking outside the box,” Cal said and grinned. We made brief eye contact before I quickly looked away. Something had definitely shifted between us. I felt light, like a mental weight had been lifted.
Trev jumped again, this time managing to grab hold of the bar. He swung his body up then climbed over to the skylight windows.
“Gonna see if I can get one of these open,” he said.
In the end, he used one of his old tricks to pry a window open, since he used to steal cars when he was a teenager. Opening locked car doors, opening locked windows, it’s all the same, right? Let’s just say, Trev was the only one of us who’d taken up parkour because it was useful when running away from the law.
Cal climbed up after him, reaching down to give me a hand. I put my hand in his and let him pull me up. We climbed through the window and then, just like that we were on the roof of a gigantic football stadium.
“Is it just me, or does the air feel a little thinner up here?” Paul asked.
“It’s called altitude,” Isaac said, emerging through the window.
I looked out at the twinkling city lights, breathless. Cal came and rested his elbow on my shoulder, quietly looking out too. I felt his heat, his closeness.
“That’s it. We’re doing Wembley Stadium when we get home,” James announced. “I can’t believe we never thought of it before.”
Trev lifted the first-person camera around his neck and turned in a circle to capture the full three-sixty view. It was too risky for the crew to follow us up here, so we had to rely on our own cameras to capture the footage. There was also a drone that Jimbo operated to capture us from above.
I shivered, having forgotten to wear a jacket. It was so warm during the day that I never seemed to anticipate the coldness at night.
“Are you cold?” Cal asked, noticing me shiver.
“I’ll be fine,” I said, but he was already taking off his hoodie and tugging it over my head. It was way too big, the fabric swimming on me, but I had to admit it did keep the chill out. Plus, it smelled like Cal, which was a whole other level of comfort mixed with awkward.
Paul noticed, his gaze narrowing in suspicion as he pulled me aside. “What’s going on with you two?”
I shrugged casually. “Nothing.” Everything.
Paul didn’t look like he believed me, and rightly so. “I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but just think about what you’re doing, okay?” His caring blue eyes were etched in concern and I swallowed down a lump of guilt. Paul’s words were a reminder that no matter how I might feel for Cal, I had a job to protect. There were bigger factors at play, factors that could result in a loss of livelihood.
I nodded, the thought sobering. “Okay.”
“I just want what’s best for you,” Paul said, squeezing my shoulder before going to join Trev and James.
I followed and we ran a lap around the circumference of the roof, goofing about and taking turns to film each other. Then we sat down for a while to get some good shots of the view.
It was a thrill to be so high up.
When we finally climbed back down, Barry congratulated us on a great shoot. Neil eyed me, his eyebrows drawn together as he noticed what I was wearing. I remonstrated myself, wishing I’d never accepted Cal’s offer in the first place. That familiar guilt pinched at me again, because I’d made Neil a promise that we’d talk about possibly dating when we got home and now here I was wearing my ex’s hoodie.
I was officially a horrible person.
I considered going to him and explaining that I’d simply gotten cold up on the roof and that’s why I was wearing it, but that would just make things more awkward. Besides, deep down I knew it wasn’t simply a friendly gesture. I’d seen how Cal’s eyes shone with possession when I put it on, and I did it anyway. I could’ve taken it off when Paul warned me to be careful, but I didn’t want to, and that was the part that worried me most.
Was I falling back into old habits? Somehow, it didn’t feel like it. Whatever was going on with us, it felt different. Somehow, we’d evolved. I just didn’t know where that evolution would lead.
We stopped at a burger bar to get takeout, then back at the house we all sat in the dining room to eat. It was nice to hang out together, but I still felt shitty about the whole Neil situation. A part of me just wanted to tell him I was an awful human and that he was better off not putting his eggs in my dysfunctional basket.
When Trev went to the kitchen to grab some drinks, I followed and pulled him aside.
“Hey, um, I’m sorry for being a bitch yesterday and not congratulating you on the baby news. It was a dick move.”
Trev shook his head. “Nah, I was the dick. I didn’t even think that my news might upset you.”
I gave a soft smile. “I really am happy for you and Reya. You’ll make great parents.”
He waggled his brow. “Now we just need to organise that shotgun wedding.”
I laughed and headed to my room to check my phone. I’d forgotten to take it out with me tonight, so I probably had a whole bunch of messages and notifications. On my way there, I noticed Cal’s bedroom door was open, and on his bed sat his diary cam. I wondered if he’d been recording entries like the rest of us, and my curiosity got the best of me.
Stepping into the room, I closed the door and picked up the camera. I definitely shouldn’t be doing this, but technically, whatever he’d recorded was going to end up on the show, so I’d see it eventually anyway. Right?
Right.
Turning the camera on, I navigated to the videos. There were several of him sitting on his bed, grudgingly talking to the camera. Thinking it would be funny to see him force himself to do something he considered a waste of time, I hit play on the most recent entry. The date and time stamp showed it had been recorded two nights ago, while we’d been visiting the game reserve.
Downstairs everyone was finishing up with dinner, so I had to be quick. My conscience niggled at me, telling me this was wrong. Then again, I was fairly sure if Cal saw my camera laying around, he wouldn’t hesitate for a second to look at it too.
The recording began with Cal placing the camera on the bed facing upward, so it caught him from a low angle. He blew out a breath, ran a hand over his face then stared into the lens. I couldn’t help noticing how sexy the direct eye contact was, like he was looking right at me. No wonder girls who watched the show like Olive became obsessed.
“I won’t lie, today has been roug
h.” He paused, glanced away then back. “I wasn’t going to talk about Leanne on here, but fuck it, I have to talk to someone.”
My pulse pounded at the mention of my name. My conscience butted in again, urging me to stop the video, but my curiosity won out.
“Things have been tense between us this whole trip, which is probably my fault. I thought if I could figure out a way to prove I’d changed, that I wanted more from her than just sex, she’d see I was worth giving one last chance. I even came up with this ridiculous scheme to show her I was willing to give up everything just for her. We have this thing where we make bets, try to beat each other. I thought that if I made a bet with her and let her win, she’d see that I don’t care about beating her anymore. I thought that I could make her see I’d give up every victory just to have her finally be mine again.”
My mind raced. He’d made the bet with the specific intention of losing? I’ll admit the thought had occurred to me but it hadn’t made sense at the time. Now it did. He planned to lose to prove he’d changed. His voice brought my attention back to the video.
“It was a stupid idea anyway,” he said, blowing out a breath. “You can’t trick people into seeing you’ve changed. I know that now. I just…” his eyes burned with longing “I’ve been in love with her for such a long time, but I feel like if I tell her, she’ll refuse to believe it. She’ll come up with some reason to prove I’m lying.”
Time stood still as his words echoed around my skull. He loved me? Emotion sat heavy in my throat.
“She…I guess deep down she doesn’t want to get hurt again, so she comes up with ways and excuses not to give us a chance.” He laughed sadly. “When I’m around her I just want to be close to her, touch her, anything. She thinks she has to be tough with me, keep up a wall, like I could ever hurt her. She doesn’t realise that since we met, I haven’t even slept with anyone else. Not a single person. I mean, what’s the point when she’s constantly in my head and my heart?”
Cal went quiet, then swore under his breath and picked up the camera.
“Christ, what am I doing? How do you delete this shit?”
He seemed to be fiddling around with it for a minute before the screen went blank. Clearly, he thought he’d deleted the video but hadn’t.
My entire body buzzed.
Cal had never told me he loved me before. Not in so many words. It was something he’d always held back, and now I knew why. He thought I wouldn’t want to hear it. Tears welled in my eyes. He’d put himself through emotional torture the last few weeks just to prove himself to me, and in return, I’d given him a hard time. He…he loved me. I’d heard the genuine honesty in his voice, goose bumps still lingered on my skin just hearing him say those words.
Also, he hadn’t slept with anyone but me in the past three years? A brick sank in my gut as I remembered how brutally we’d fought when I accused him of sleeping with Mia Popov. He’d been telling the truth all along…
Sniffling and wiping the tears from my eyes, I turned the camera off, put it back where I found it and snuck out of the room.
A swarm of bees took flight in my chest. I tried to bat them away, but they persisted, stinging at me, pushing home a truth I couldn’t ignore.
We weren’t supposed to be together, could lose our jobs if we were, but I couldn’t live a lie anymore. Screw the consequences. Callum Davidson was in love with me, and I’d done nothing but make him suffer. He’d spent the last few weeks trying to prove he was worthy.
Well, now it was my turn to prove myself worthy of him.
Nineteen
Leanne
It was our final full day of filming. Last night’s escapades on the roof of the football stadium would make up the grand finale of the season. So today was casual, capturing extra footage to fill the episodes we’d already recorded.
While I got dressed, I was completely wrapped up in thoughts of Cal. Watching that video last night had really done a number on me. I was full of fluttery, excited, swoony feelings. Every time I thought of him, I smiled. Like, what the hell? I didn’t smile when I thought of Cal. I scowled. Fretted. Struggled to prepare an arsenal of snappy comebacks, but now…
Now I knew he fucking loved me.
I mean, anyone would be in a tizzy to know they were secretly loved.
It was a new and addictive feeling. I always thought Cal lusted and obsessed over me. That it was a challenge to peel away my layers one by one. That he took a perverse pleasure in fighting and fucking. But that wasn’t true, at least, not entirely. I’d been wilfully blind, too stubborn to see the truth.
Now I had to go out there, look him in the eye and know what he felt for me. The knowledge changed so many of the principles and rules I’d mentally set for myself. Luckily, I’d decided to set some new ones.
Cal wanted a chance with me, that’s what the whole bet had been about. Well, he was going to finally get one.
I still had his hoodie from last night, and I knew I should return it, but I didn’t want to, not yet. Hastily, I pulled it on over my vest top then headed downstairs where the minivans were waiting to take us into the city.
I was last to climb aboard. Cal sat in the third row and I took the empty seat next to him. His eyes landed on me, making a slow ascent up my body when he saw I was still wearing his hoodie. “Morning.”
“Morning,” I replied with a wide smile, belly fluttering at the way he perused me.
He studied me a beat longer than normal, probably wondering why I was being so chipper and not snapping at him to keep his eyes up top.
At the back of my mind, I was worried he’d be mad at me for watching the video without his permission. But right now I wanted to focus on figuring out a way to get him to admit how he felt. I just didn’t know how to go about it. I could hardly just come out and say, So, you’re in love with me, eh?
It was a little strange that we’d never spoken of love. At the height of our relationship, we’d been obsessively infatuated, but we’d always been so busy screwing, fighting, or making up to have those serious conversations.
And then, well, I’d had the miscarriage and a dark cloud hung over all our interactions.
“You’re staring,” Cal said, glancing up at me from the screen of his phone.
I cleared my throat, embarrassed to be caught smiling at him like a loon. “Sorry, it’s just…uh, your hair is a mess.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “My hair?”
“Yes, your hair. Come here, I’ll fix it for you.” I shifted closer on the seat, our thighs brushing as I reached up and ran my hands through the floppy, silky strands. Cal kept his hair buzzed short at the back and sides and long on top.
“Have you ever noticed that we have almost the exact same haircut?” I said in amusement. He tilted his head to give me better access, eyeing me with a lazy, sexy gaze. I got the sense he enjoyed me fondling his hair just as much as I enjoyed touching it.
His lips twitched. “Maybe we go to the same barber.”
I chuckled softly, running my fingers through the strands one last time before announcing. “There. Much better.”
Cal’s attention went to my hoodie again. Well, his hoodie. “You’re still wearing it.”
I gave a cheeky grin. “Yeah. I like it. I think I’ll keep it.”
He smirked. “Don’t I get a say?”
I shook my head. “Nope.”
His eyes gleamed in challenge. “Maybe I want it back.”
“No, you don’t,” I replied, flirtatious. I needed to stop, but all I could think about was how sexy he looked right now, how much I wanted to kiss him, run my hands over the tattoos inked on his neck, feel the corded muscles beneath.
Something shifted in the air between us and a quiet moment elapsed. Neither one of us dropped our gaze.
“Well,” I said. “Can I keep it?”
Cal’s eyes wandered from my collarbone to my chin. “That depends,” he murmured huskily.
“On?”
His eyes flicked up. “How
much do you like it?”
“I really like it.”
His voice dipped lower. “Does it feel good?”
My thighs clenched as I whispered, “Yes.”
He leaned forward, his mouth a hair’s breadth away from mine. “How good does it feel?”
Our breaths mingled, and I could smell the minty waft of his toothpaste. A sigh escaped me. Seriously, I was on the verge of moaning and we were literally only talking. “Really fucking good.”
Cal swallowed, a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes before the sexy glint returned. He reached out and tugged at the edge of the hood around my neck. His knuckles brushed my skin and I almost trembled. I wanted him to touch me so badly. Cal brought his lips to my ear and whispered, “I guess I’ll just have to give it to you then.”
Jesus. It was a good thing I was already sitting down because the gravelly quality in his voice made my knees weak. I finally dragged my eyes away from his, looking anywhere but at him. A flush broke out on my skin when I felt him watching me. I could tell he was wondering what had brought on this sudden flirtatiousness.
When we arrived in the city, Trev was determined to get to the roof of one particular building, but Barry said no, we didn’t have a permit. The Carlton hotel had been empty and abandoned for years. I kind of wished we could explore it too, but you didn’t go against Barry’s orders.
Instead, we shot on the roofs of several apartment buildings. We were down on the street taking a break when I spotted Neil and Cal talking and my stomach flipped. I wasn’t close enough to hear, but Cal’s jaw was set tight and Neil’s expression was serious.
What were they saying?
I waited until Neil left before sidling over to Cal and noisily clearing my throat. He bent to fix his laces, a smile in his voice when he asked, “Something bothering you, Leanne?”
My cheeks heated. “Just wondering what you and Neil were talking about.”
Cal glanced at me, amusement playing on his lips, but he didn’t respond.
“Seemed like it was serious,” I hedged.
